Fake Boobs

by Ryan Ringbloom

  If I had her number, I could call her or send a text to see what she was up to. It would be nice. I could tell her about Charley, my new gay best friend, and not in the jovial Christmas way. I could picture her laughing, her eyes creasing up in the corners, covering her mouth, hiding those beautiful lips. The ones I kissed. The ones I needed to stop thinking about, but had a feeling I wouldn’t.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  I dialed the phone and waited.

  The need to talk with Tori only grew during those first couple of months away. My classes were all filled with guys. My apartment building was all filled with guys. My new best friend, Charley talked my ear off most days about guys and when I needed a break from all the guys, what did I do? I picked up my cell and called one of the guys from home.

  My mom and sister were my only female contact. Talking with my mom was a joke, and twenty minute chats with Julie once a week weren’t cutting it.

  “Hello,” Jim answered. It wasn’t Tori, but it was the next best thing for now. At least I’d be able to ask about her and see how she was doing. I wanted to know how her birthday was. I’d spent that whole day thinking about her.

  “Heeyyyy,” I stretched out. “How’s school?”

  “Grant? Hey, I haven’t talked to you in forever. What’s going on, man?”

  “Nothing too much here. What about you? You been home? Seen your family at all?” Smooth. Way to transition into that one.

  “No, I won’t be home until Thanksgiving. You gonna come around at night and hang out like we always do?”

  “Yeah, I’ll be there.” Good. I secured the invite. “So, I guess you didn’t go home or see your sister for her birthday.” I yawned as I said it to make myself sound disinterested in his answer.

  “My sister’s birthday?” he questioned. “Oh, shit. I totally forgot. It was a couple of weeks ago. I got to call her.”

  “Asshole, you didn’t call her on her birthday?” I sounded way too annoyed.

  “I know, I know…I’m an asshole, I’ll call her. What made you even think of that?”

  Fuck. I didn’t have an answer for that. “You know me and remembering dates.” That made no sense, there was no “me and remembering dates”.

  “Oh, yeah, yeah. You’re always good at remembering weird things,” Jim said, agreeing with my nonsense.

  “So, how is she doing? Does she like school?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking.

  “Jeanie’s doing great. You’ll see her on Thanksgiving. She’ll be having dinner with us and hanging out afterwards with everyone like usual.”

  Sometimes Jim was a fucking moron. I wasn’t asking about Jeanie. I wanted to know how Tori was.

  “That’s good. Tell Jeanie, I said, hi. I’ll see you in a couple weeks.” I hung up, scrubbing my hand over my face. How the hell did he forget her birthday? And why didn’t I acknowledge it? No wonder the girl had such a complex; everyone was always ignoring her.

  Charley let himself into my apartment. He claimed best friends didn’t knock; they just walked in. This was another part of our thing, the “chant”.

  “I have no plans tonight.” He fixed the cushions on my couch before sitting. “I’m bored. Tell me something interesting. Tell me more about your little group of guy friends who are all supposedly straight. What are their names again? Carl and Chip?”

  I could fake a headache. I could lie and say I had plans. I could start locking my door. But none of that would matter. There was no escaping Charley. Besides, who was I kidding? I’d grown to enjoy his antics.

  “Kyle, Wade, Jason and Jim.”

  “And which one is your best friend?”

  “I like them all the same.”

  “Bull shit, everyone has a favorite.”

  “Um, uh…Jim.” I opened the refrigerator and scanned it mindlessly.

  “Jim, what a masculine name,” Charley chuckled. “Is he burly and rugged? Does he wear red and black striped flannels and chop wood?”

  “No.” I kept my head buried in the fridge.

  “What am I picking up here? What is Jim to you? Something happened.”

  “Nothing happened.” I grabbed a water and held one up to offer him.

  “Yes, I’ll take a water. Okay, now, back to Jim. What happened with you and him? Inappropriate touching at one of your sleepovers? A little sword fight? Don’t sweat it. I think all boys do it. It doesn’t mean you’re gay.”

  I stood there for a second with my mouth hanging open. Then I closed my eyes and shook my head, rubbing away the tension building. “No to all of that. There’s nothing weird with Jim. His sister and I…”

  “No, stop right there. His sister? That’s worse. It would have been better if you and Jim just played a few rounds of tickle and tug in your sleeping bags.”

  “First, you need to please stop with these images. I’m not even sure if Jim and I have ever shook hands. And second, nothing even happened with Tori. So why is that worse?”

  “Because with his sister, I’m sure the next words out of your mouth are going to be, it’s complicated. Am I right?” Charley smirked and flicked a piece of lint off the arm of my couch.

  Complicated would have been my next word, but I refused to give his smug face the satisfaction.

  “It’s not complicated. We’re just friends, like I said, nothing happened.”

  “If nothing happened, then there would be nothing to talk about? There would be no need to say ‘nothing happened’. You wouldn’t have even mentioned his sister.” Charley clasped his hands together. “So tell me, all about the ‘nothing’ that happened.”

  I groaned, but the truth was I did need someone to talk to about it. “Her name is Tori. She just turned nineteen.”

  “Stop.” He held up his hand. “Nineteen? No. No. No. Too young.”

  “How is that too young?” I raised a brow at him. “You’re twenty.”

  “I know and I remember what it was like to be nineteen. Ugh, horrible year. Confusing, full of drama, you couldn’t pay me to be nineteen again.” His phone went off and he checked it. “So, tell me more about this young girl that’s your burly friend Jim’s sister. Did you give her boobies a good squishing? Were they big? Wow, listen to me, a couple months of hanging out with you and I’ve gone all butch talking about titties.”

  “Thanks, Charley, I’m done talking about this.”

  “What? I tell you everything about my love life and I never skimp on the details when you ask.”

  “I never ask you for details. Not once.” My brain worked overtime most days trying to erase some of the stories he shared.

  Charley ignored my last statement replying to a message on his phone. After a few texts back and forth, he turned his attention back on me. “Sorry, it turns out I have plans after all.”

  “Leaving me for someone better?” I joked.

  “No one is better than you G, but, well, I’ve been invited to partake in something a little more fun than this.” He swirled his hand around my apartment. “No offense.”

  “None taken.” I sat down on the couch next to Charley before he had a chance to get up. “Is nineteen really too young?”

  He took a deep sigh considering my question. “That all depends. Too young to fool around with a little bit, no. Too young to get involved in something serious, probably. But either way, won’t that affect your friendship with Jim?”

  Charley was right. If it was only simple fooling around, then why even risk it? And if it was something serious, she was too young. I’d be risking my friendship with Jim and most likely all the guys if I started something with Tori and it didn’t work out.

  “You’re thinking real hard about it.” Charley grinned. “Maybe she is worth it?”

  “No, what you said makes perfect sense. She’s young. It’s complicated and it isn’t worth putting my friendship on the line. Thanks.”

  “Glad I could help.” Charley left, closing the door behind him.

  The decision was made. He’d helped me figure it al
l out. I’d go home for Thanksgiving, and act normal. I’d get Tori out of my system and out of my mind once and for all.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  I screwed up Thanksgiving.

  And as I watched the tears slide down her cheeks, I feared I had ruined Christmas too.

  We went from finishing a kiss to making love in the course of one night. I knew it wasn’t perfect. First times rarely were. She was silent, trying to hide her tears from me. Tears I didn’t understand.

  Our eyes adjusted to the light in the room and her gaze dropped to the small stain of blood on my bed. Her lip quivered, her tears flowed faster. I covered the spot so she couldn’t see it and went to the bathroom. I gripped the nozzles on the sink tightly afraid of what just happened, what we just did, her reaction. The color draining from my face reflected in the mirror. I let the water heat up from the faucet and ran a washcloth under the warm stream, wringing it out. I grabbed a towel and walked back out to the bed where she was wrapped up in my blankets. She couldn’t even look at me.

  “I can help clean…” I couldn’t finish the sentence, my voice was cracking. She took the washcloth from my hands. I cleared my throat and took a breath. “Are you okay?”

  She nodded yes, but I wasn’t convinced. Had we made a huge mistake? Not we, me. Had I made a huge mistake? I was falling in love with her and maybe I just allowed myself to believe she was feeling the same way so I could tell myself everything we were doing was okay. I should have insisted on slowing down.

  “These tears, are they because I hurt you?” I asked.

  “No.” Her voice was small.

  “Is it because you regret what we just did?” I stopped breathing.

  “No, it’s definitely not that.” She smiled and the air returned to my lungs. I reached for her and we lay back, her head against my chest. I traced my fingers down the soft skin of her back. The sweet scent of her filled my senses. I prayed she meant what she said. That she didn’t regret what we had done. There was no way of knowing what was going on in her head. I desperately needed to know if she was okay. I wished she would say something…anything.

  “I saw your Christmas picture,” she said. No more tears. No more shaky voice.

  I pulled her in close, smiling into her hair, relieved by the normalcy of her statement. “What did you think of it?”

  “Oh, it was totally gay. Ya know, in a jovial, glad tidings Christmas-y way,” she giggled.

  Best. Sound. Ever.

  Maybe because I’d seen commercials for it all week, but all I could picture was the Grinch and his heart growing three sizes bigger. That was how it felt in my own chest, but even more. It felt as if a million hearts were pounding away.

  I waited until her giggles stopped and placed my lips on hers. “I never want you to do anything you don’t want or you’re not ready for.”

  She kissed me and smiled. “I’m ready for everything.”

  “I want you every night, in my arms.” She trembled a little at my words, but her arm wrapped tighter over my chest.

  “You really want me?” she whispered, then repeated, “me?”

  “I want you,” I answered her with all the confidence I felt. I had tried fighting it, but it was useless. I knew it would not be easy, but my heart had made up its mind. Tori was the girl for me. I could have said so much more in that moment but I’d hold off. I didn’t want to overwhelm her or scare her away.

  “Are we telling people about us?” she asked. I knew by people, she mostly meant her brother.

  My stomach tensed. Jim was my best friend. I didn’t think he’d have an issue with Tori and I together. Especially once I explained the situation. The genuine feelings I developed for Tori. It would just be weird at first. The way we talked about girls would certainly need to change. I would no longer be sharing any details with the guys. Not that I had ever been a kiss and teller to begin with.

  “Should we wait a little longer? Give this some more time?” I wanted to leave the decision up to her of when we would tell Jim.

  “Yeah, we should probably wait. The holidays are already crazy as it is. Right now, we can still keep it our little secret.” More sweet giggles followed after the word secret.

  My cheeks were hurting from smiling. Me, the planner, had done something completely unplanned; I’d gone ahead and fallen in love.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  “I had my brother drop me off. So give me a beer and let’s get this night started.” Kyle grinned, strutting in to the room, taking us all off guard.

  Kyle wasn’t supposed to be coming home for the holidays, so when he walked in to Wade’s house joining us for the pre New Year’s Eve guys’ night, we were all surprised.

  Jim had a few beers already and his mood was noticeably off. He sprang from the chair he was planted in. It happened so fast. No one had time to react. He grabbed the front of Kyle’s coat yanking him in close with a tight fist, their faces inches apart.

  “You got one hell of a nerve showing your fucking face here,” Jim spat as he hollered. He shoved Kyle toward the door. “Outside now. You and me have a few things to discuss, my friend.” They disappeared, making a clamor through the house before the door slammed behind them.

  “What the fuck was that all about?” Wade barked out a laugh, looking back and forth between me and Jason.

  “No fucking clue. But if I was Kyle, I’d be shitting a brick right about now. Jim’s been acting crazy all night.” Jason rubbed his chin. “Something ain’t right.”

  The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Shit. He’d found out about the night at his house with Tori and Kyle. How?

  “You guys stay here. I’ll go handle them.” I jumped from my seat before the other two involved themselves. The less people who knew what happened with Tori, the better.

  Outside, Kyle was being slammed hard into the side of Jim’s car. “You want to tell me why my little sister was in tears telling me you snuck up to her room so she could suck your dick? Huh? You told her it was a Popsicle. A fucking Popsicle!” He slammed Kyle hard and his head banged with a wallop against the window.

  “I was drunk. Nothing happened,” Kyle pleaded, but didn’t fight back. He knew he deserved an ass kicking for what happened. I waited, rolling my shoulders back nervously for my name to be brought up in all this. I could kill myself for not telling Jim right when it happened.

  “No, something did happen. She told me everything. She was crying. Do you know what that feels like? I call my kid sister and she starts crying ‘cause one of my disgusting, filthy friends wanted to use her like some fucking slut?”

  “No, man. That’s not what it was like. I swear.”

  “Fuck you. Tori is just a kid. She doesn’t have a lick of life experience. She’s been sheltered her whole life and you take advantage of that?” Another shove and Kyle grunted. “Now she’s up at school and the same shit is happening. One night, some asshole fucked her head all up and I call her and she’s in hysterics.” Jim’s grip on Kyle loosened. “I don’t even know what to do. I feel helpless, like I can’t even do anything to save her from these assholes she keeps making mistakes with. But then to find out one of my own friends was trying to take advantage of her innocence. Someone who’s known her since she was little and calls themselves one of my best friends, that’s so fucked up.” The anger came back and Kyle was once again slammed.

  “I’m sorry. Jim, I swear on my life, nothing happened. I was stupid. I learned my lesson.” Even in the cold weather, beads of sweat formed on Kyle’s forehead.

  “The next person who uses my sister, mark my words, I will kill them!” Jim’s face was purple, his arm lifted and his fist connected with Kyle’s jaw.

  I ran over and pulled Jim back, away from Kyle. “Stop, take a second. Breathe.” Jim resisted but I kept him restrained. “Go back inside. Calm down. I’ll take Kyle home.” I felt Jim’s tensed body go limp.

  “She’s just a kid. She doesn’t deserve to be treated that way. That’s my friend.” Jim r
ubbed hard at his forehead.

  “I know,” I replied shakily. “Go back inside and relax. We’ll work this all out. When I come back, we can talk.”

  Jim grasped my shoulder. “Thanks, man. You’re a real friend.” He glared threateningly at Kyle as he staggered away toward Wade’s house.

  Kyle nursed his wounded jaw and took a seat in my car. My hands were shaking as I started the engine. “I should have told him everything right when it happened,” I said, shaking my head.

  “Fuck, man, what the hell do I do now? Nothing even happened.” Kyle leaned his head back on the seat. “I mean, thank God, nothing really happened, because she sure as hell would have probably let me do anything to her. I guess I got you to thank for stopping it. Imagine if I fucked her or let her finish sucking my dick?”

  My insides were in turmoil. I was very close to being sick. “I thought you said nothing happened.”

  “Nothing really did happen. She licked my dick. Then she jumped up to get something to tie her hair back. That’s when you walked in.” Kyle massaged his jaw. “Thank God she left that part out. But he’s right; she didn’t have a lick of experience. Well, maybe one lick,” he chuckled.

  I slammed my foot on the brake and Kyle lurched forward into the dashboard. “Are you fucking kidding me, joking about this? Maybe I shouldn’t have jumped in. Maybe I should have let Jim fucking kill you.” I grasped my hands around the steering wheel until my knuckles were practically bursting through my skin.

  “Whoa, bad joke. I’m sorry.” He held out his hands. “I just meant he’s right. She’s naïve and eager to please. I tried to take advantage. He has every right to be pissed and he has every right to be nervous about what’s going on at her school, because I think she is way under prepared for the real world. I’m guessing she’s the type who’d do anything just ‘cause she doesn’t know how to say no. She oozes desperation. We both know she wasn’t really into me. I’m one of Jim’s slimy friends who she’s watched act crazy for years, talking shit about girls not even knowing she was in the room with us. I feel bad for her.”