Catching Her Heart

by Carolyne Aarsen

  Naomi looked down at the baby she held, this completely innocent child, and wondered about Jess’s childhood. Wondered what it had been like for him living with a father he was afraid of and a mother who didn’t stand up for him.

  “Jess is the best person I know,” she said quietly. “His actions speak louder than his words, and his actions are the ones of a sincere, caring man. You say he broke my heart?” She released a bitter laugh. “I think I broke his, too. I should have trusted him, but I didn’t give him the chance. I should have stayed instead of running back to Billy when he crooked his finger in my direction.” She looked over at Hailey, hoping her sister understood. “Billy took me back in spite of carrying Jess’s child, but he never let me forget what he did. Jess took in Brittany who is no relation to him. A girl who was sixteen and pregnant. But I never, not once, heard him say anything to her that made her feel like she was less of a person. He never judged her.” Naomi looked down at the nugget hanging from around her neck, thinking of August Beck and the choice he made, then looked back at her sister, trying to keep her emotions under control. “I should have chosen Jess. I should have made a decision to stay with him. I took the easy way out and ran away. I left him and I didn’t even do him the justice of letting him know I was carrying his baby. It was a huge mistake and I hope that someday he can forgive me for that. I don’t deserve it, but I am hoping he will. Because I still care for him. More than I’ve ever cared for anyone else. He’s the best person I know and I don’t deserve him.”

  She looked away from Hailey, then down at Kevin wondering if the pounding of her heart would frighten him.

  Hailey didn’t say anything and Naomi was thankful for the momentary reprieve.

  Then she caught the movement of a body in the doorway. Scott was here, she thought. Then the body moved from the shadow into the light of the room and her heart dropped into her stomach.

  It was Jess.

  Chapter Fourteen

  He couldn’t breathe.

  All he could do was stare at Naomi, wondering if he heard correctly. Wondering if she meant what she had just said.

  “Hey, Jess,” Hailey said in a falsely jovial voice. “How long have you been here?”

  “Long enough.”

  He couldn’t look away from Naomi who was staring at him, remnants of surprise and shock still showing on her face. She swallowed, then looked down at Kevin, pulling in a long, wavery breath.

  “I’m sorry...” Her voice faltered and she pressed her lips together.

  “Why don’t I take that baby,” Hailey said, gently removing Kevin from Naomi’s arms. “And maybe you and Jess can go for a walk or something?”

  Naomi easily relinquished the tiny form and Jess saw how her gaze lingered on Kevin. Was she thinking of the baby she lost?

  He took a step closer to her. “Naomi...”

  She shook her head, still looking down. “I’m so sorry, Jess. I’m so sorry.”

  Her apology wrung at his heart and he swallowed down a peculiar knot of sorrow.

  “I think Hailey had a good suggestion,” he said quietly. “Do you want to come with me?” He held out his hand.

  She looked at it, then slowly held out her own and placed it in his. He squeezed, then gave her a gentle tug and she followed him.

  They walked down the hall, saying nothing, then out the door and down the street. They were both quiet, as if readying themselves for whatever might come.

  Finally he came to the baseball diamonds and he stopped there, sitting down on the worn wooden bleachers. Naomi sat down beside him, still clinging to his hand.

  Finally she turned to him.

  “I was wrong. I know that. I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know when to do it.”

  Jess held her gaze, then reached up and gently pressed his finger to her nose. “I’m sorry, too. There’s been a lot of misunderstanding between us.” He let his fingers linger on Naomi’s face. “But I understand now. At least a bit better. When I first saw Brittany with that baby I realized you weren’t a whole lot older than she was when you found out you were pregnant. Of course you’d be scared.”

  She reached up and took his hand, folding hers around it, reinforcing the connection. “I was afraid,” she said quietly. “When you said you couldn’t be a father, I got scared that you would reject me if I told you about the baby. I was scared and I was alone. I’d always been the good girl. The one who never did anything wrong and then this. Then Billy...he asked me to come back to him. I told him about the baby and he said he would take me back.”

  Jess let his fingers caress her cheek, feeling her pain and loneliness. “I’m sorry, too.”

  Then he bent over and brushed a kiss over her mouth. “But I’m not sorry I heard what I did a few minutes ago.”

  She held his gaze, her own earnest. “I meant every word. You’re a good man. I’ve always thought that and I’ve always loved you.” She held his gaze, a melancholy smile slipping over her features. “You were my everything. Even when I was with Billy.”

  She was quiet and Jess knew enough to allow her this moment.

  “Then I came back here and it was as if all those turbulent emotions and all our history threatened to take over. And it scared me. I needed to know who I was. I needed to find out who I am.” She looked over at him. “I feel like so much of my life has been spent living in the shadow of my sisters and then in the shadow of you. Even what I had with Billy was like the shadow of a relationship—an eternal engagement and no wedding in sight. Then he died. And I came back to Hartley Creek and there you were. Even more appealing and handsome than when I dated you. And I got scared again. I wanted to stay away from you. I wanted space from you and from the guilt I felt whenever I saw you. I was afraid that if I let myself, I would get pulled back into that swirl of emotions that was our relationship and I would lose myself in the shadows of the past again.”

  “Is that how you see it? Losing yourself?”

  “I feel as if most of my life I haven’t known who I am.”

  “I always knew who you were. I always knew about you.”

  “No, you didn’t!” She released a light laugh. “You were the most popular guy in school. The guy every girl wanted to date. I was just Naomi.”

  “You were never just Naomi to me.”

  “Really?” Her incredulity surprised him. He had always thought of her as more confident. “I was nobody. A girl people didn’t remember.”

  He moved closer, determined to make her realize just how much a part of his life she had been.

  “In Grade Eight you got a pair of red boots,” he said, holding her gaze, determined to let her know. “You wore them every day for a month. In Grade Nine, you got a black eye from running into the volleyball net during a practice I was watching. You used to come to the ski hill with Hailey and you always wore a purple coat and red ski pants I figured you had bought at the New to You store in town. You cut your hair short in Grade Ten and I hated it, and when you grew it out, I was glad. In Grade Eleven you used to sit in the cafeteria with a book and a set of headphones and I remember thinking that maybe you did that because you broke up with Billy and I had a moment of hope, but I found out he was doing track that year and was busy. I didn’t know what was going on in Grade Twelve because by that time I was supposed to be done. Then you broke up with Billy and you came and tutored me. And then my life took the best turn it ever did. And here I am, as crazy about you now as I was then. Probably more.”

  Naomi’s eyes widened as he listed his litany of how important she had been in his life. And right now he didn’t care. Because right now he needed her to know she had always been a part of his past and, Lord willing, would be a part of his future.

  She blinked, as if trying to understand. “I can’t... I don’t...”

  He resisted the urge to kiss her and instead said, �
��When you left, it was like there was a hole in my life that only you can fill. You never stood in the shadows with me. You were always a bright light in my life. Someone whose life I wanted to be a part of. Someone who I need in my life.”

  There it was. The declaration that he’d tried to hold back but finally couldn’t.

  “I love you, Naomi Deacon. I know we’ve had some missteps, but I also know that God’s love covers a lot. That He removes our sins from us.”

  “As far as the east is from the west,” Naomi said with a note of wonder in her voice.

  “And probably farther.” He eased out a sigh. “I know I have a lot of stuff going on in my life and I’m still struggling to forgive my father, but you were right about that. I have to if I’m going to be free from him. But I also know with you at my side, it will be a lot easier. You’re a bright light in my life and with you, I feel complete. Whole. I don’t want us to be apart anymore. I want us to be together. I want you to be my wife. To move into that house with me. To have children with me.” His voice broke a little on that last sentence, but he didn’t care.

  Naomi reached up and cradled his face, a glimmer of tears in her eyes. “I want that, too. More than anything.” Then she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. “I love you, Jess. I don’t think I ever stopped loving you.”

  He drew her close to him, kissed her again and again, then tucked her head in the hollow between his shoulder and his neck. “Don’t ever stop. I don’t want us ever to be apart again.”

  “Neither do I.”

  He kissed her again, then drew back. “I suppose we should go back.”

  Naomi nodded. “Though I suspect Hailey, Brittany and your mother have a good idea what’s going on.”

  “So we may as well let them know.” He got up, caught her by the hand and drew her to her feet. He felt a curious reluctance, but at the same time a desire to shout out to anyone who wanted to know.

  Naomi and him.

  Together again. Just the way it should be.

  Epilogue

  “Hey, Nana, should I put out these cream puffs, too?” Shannon held up a plate and Nana Beck nodded.

  “Jess said they were his favorite,” Eloise Beck said. “And it is his and Naomi’s engagement party, so I think yes.”

  “You’re the boss,” Shannon said as she walked through the doorway and out into the noise of the dining room.

  Eloise shot a quick glance around the kitchen, but it looked like all the food was out.

  “Need any help?” Sophie Brouwer poked her head into the kitchen, her permed white hair a shock against the bright purple of her blazer.

  “I think everything is ready.” Eloise shot her good friend and neighbor a smile, then stepped out into the hubbub that was the party.

  Sheila walked past her to the table, still holding Brittany’s baby, trailed by Adam and Natasha who had been subtly angling for an opportunity to hold Kevin.

  Emma and Carter sat in one corner of the living room, Carter with his arm protectively around his wife as he chatted with his twin brother, Garret. Larissa, Garret’s fiancée, Hailey and Shannon were huddled with Naomi across from them. As far as Eloise could understand they were all talking wedding plans.

  Eloise looked around the gathering and then held up her hand to get everyone’s attention. But the noise didn’t abate.

  Jess was the only one who noticed her.

  Probably because, as the newest member of the family, he was the most afraid of her. Her other future in-laws, Larissa, Ben and Dan, were used to her by now and didn’t seem to pay her any mind.

  “Did you want to say something, Mrs. Beck?” Jess said, coming to her side.

  “Not Mrs. Beck. Call me Nana,” she said as she picked up a Bible from a table beside the chair. “And yes, I’d like to read something on this special occasion.”

  “That would be nice.” Jess put his fingers in his mouth and blasted a short, sharp whistle.

  Everyone stopped and looked over to him.

  “Not getting enough attention, Schroder?” Garret asked with a laugh.

  “Got it now,” Jess returned. “Mrs....Nana Beck wants to say something.”

  Nana looked around the gathering, her heart filled to overflowing. “This is a wonderful occasion and I want to mark it properly,” she said, clutching her Bible. “Almost a year ago, when I had a heart attack, I thought I would die a lonely old woman by herself. And here I am, surrounded by all my grandchildren and great-grandchildren.”

  Her eyes skimmed the room, looking at Adam, Emma’s son, and Natasha, Dan’s daughter, and then at Emma, who was expecting Carter’s and her child. “I am blessed beyond blessing. And to mark this, I want to read from Psalm 116.”

  She cleared her throat and began reading, then stopped at verse 7. “This verse especially is the one I want to emphasize. Return to your rest, oh, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.” She paused, hoping she wouldn’t be overcome with the emotion of the moment, then she looked around again. “The Lord has indeed been good to me and to all of you. I am so thankful for the blessing you all have been to me and continue to be. I am thankful for the choices you all have made. Good choices. The same choice that August Beck made all those years ago. I know, like August, that God has been working in all of our lives. And now, in His goodness and mercy, He has brought you all home.” She was silent a moment, her emotions taking over. “I am so thankful.”

  Then she looked around the gathering, her heart full and her eyes warm with tears.

  Her children had come home, she thought.

  Home to Hartley Creek.

  * * * * *

  If you enjoyed this story by Carolyne Aarsen,

  be sure to look for the other Love Inspired books

  out this month!

  * * * * *

  Keep reading for an excerpt of Reunited for the Holidays by Jillian Hart!

  Dear Reader,

  Naomi always thought of herself as living in the shadows. First living in the shadow of her sisters, then in the shadow of her fiancé. Jess was a person who brought light into her life. Like Naomi, our lives contain both light and shadow. When we are in the shadowlands, it can be hard to think that light will shine in our lives again. I know I have taken comfort from the fact that God’s light is never extinguished and that it will come into my life again. I hope you find the same comfort and strength in God’s presence and in His unquenchable love and light.

  Carolyne Aarsen

  P.S. I love to hear from my readers. Send an email to caarsen@xplornet.com or visit my website, www.carolyneaarsen.com.

  Questions for Discussion

  In the beginning of the book, Jess’s stepsister, Brittany, needs someone to help her through her pregnancy. Why is it so hard for Jess to ask Naomi?

  Naomi always felt as if she lived in the shadow of her sisters. Why do you think she thought this? Have you ever felt like that about your siblings?

  Jess spends a lot of time at the house that he is building for himself, trying to avoid seeing Naomi. Does it work? Have you ever tried to avoid people? Why?

  Naomi’s sisters don’t think Jess is good enough for Naomi. Do you think they were right? Why or why not?

  Jess’s mother leaves Brittany for Jess to deal with. But she comes to town right before the baby is born. Is it too little, too late? Or is she right on time?

  Like Naomi and Jess, I’m sure we all have shadows in our past that color our present situation, things we wish we could change. How do you deal with the repercussions of past problems coming into your life?

  Jess struggles with his relationship with his father. How do you think that affects his view of himself? How does Jess’s relationship with Brittany show that his opinion of himself as a father is wrong?

  Na
omi loved her fiancé, Billy, but as the story progresses, we learn more about their relationship. Do you think their marriage would have lasted? Why or why not?

  Naomi has a big secret that she’s been keeping from Jess all these years. What makes her finally decide to tell him? How does he react?

  Toward the end, Jess reveals that she’s “the one” for him. How does she react? What would you have done in her place? Do you believe that there is one true love for everyone? Why or why not?

  We hope you enjoyed this Harlequin Love Inspired story.

  You believe hearts can heal. Love Inspired stories show that faith, forgiveness and hope have the power to lift spirits and change lives—always.

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  Chapter One

  Dr. Brian Wallace plucked the ceramic frog out of the flower bed, tipped it upside down and shook hard. The spare front-door key fell onto his palm as he squinted into the watery afternoon sun. It was good to be home. Late November air crisped over him and he shivered, goose bumps traveling down his arms. Weak from an extended illness, he gripped the railing to steady himself. The long trip from rural Texas had taken a toll on him.

  The old adage There’s No Worse Patient Than a Doctor had never been more true, he thought, as he struggled up the stairs. Easily winded, he paused a moment at the top, thanking God he was here to see the colors of sunset. His near brush with death had marked him. He couldn’t deny it. He’d missed his life here in Fort Worth. He missed his kids—although they were grown, they were what he had left of his heart.