And it was Edmund, not Mr. Skinner waiting to catch her if she fell.
Her gaze lowered from Edmund’s eyes to his lips, fighting the longing to take his face between her hands and kiss him just as Miss Perry had . . . perhaps for a little longer.
Had he leaned closer? Selina drew a breath, her heart leaping as she caught the way his own gaze traced across her face and settled on her mouth. His brows drew together, a sign that he was fighting the same odd desire she felt. A kissing bough would have made it more proper, but there were none to be found.
Before she could be as bold as Miss Perry, Edmund tore his gaze away, and, in one swift motion, stood and turned toward the door before facing her again. “I invite you to ask him,” Edmund said.
Selina found her voice, her pulse still thrumming in her ears. “Who?”
“Ask Skinner why he wishes to marry you.”
She nodded, her voice evading her, which seemed to give Edmund leave to exit the room. She would have asked Edmund why he was so troubled, just as he had asked her that day, but the answer was obvious. If he felt the same things she did . . . then he would be troubled knowing she was still engaged to another.
As she stared into the fireplace, she vowed that the next time she saw Mr. Skinner she would tell him she no longer wished to marry him. And after that, she would do something even more difficult.
She would admit to Edmund that she was wrong.
Selina made her way to the drawing room early that night. She had taken great care to look elegant, even asking her maid for a hair arrangement she hadn’t yet attempted. Selina had been pleased with the result, though it did nothing to ease the worry inside her. She sat alone, listening to the ticking of the clock as she adjusted the skirts of her ivory evening gown.
The sun had already gone down and the candles in the drawing room had been lit, filling the space with a warmth that belied the coldness in her chest. The door opened abruptly, and she stiffened, expecting it to be Edmund entering. Instead, it was Mama, a hand pressed to her chest and tears glistening in her eyes.
“What is wrong?” Selina’s heart pounded with dread until a smile broke over Mama’s cheeks.
“Rose! She is here!”
Selina stood, surprised by the surge of joy that struck her. “In London? How?”
Mama rushed to the drawing room window, picking up a candle on her way. Her blue taffeta sleeves rustled loudly as she pulled back the drapes. “The footmen are bringing their trunks in now.” Mama squealed with delight. “How dare she surprise us like this? Will I have enough food?”
Mama had always overestimated the food to have prepared for the Christmas Day Feast, so Selina had no doubt that both Rose and her husband would be well fed. Mama had also invited her distant cousins and their families, the Godwins and Setons, to join them, as many families neglected to even celebrate Christmastide in London—at least not with as much care as Mama did.
“Are you certain it is her?” Selina asked. It could have been any of the other guests.
“I would recognize my own daughter.” Mama scowled before rustling her way out the door again. “Make haste!” she said. “Come greet your sister.”
Selina followed, happy for a distraction from her present concerns. And she did miss Rose, despite everything.
She stepped into the entry hall at the same moment Rose stepped through the front doors. Even the arduous travels had done nothing to diminish her beauty. She cast Selina a wide smile, her blue eyes sparkling as she clasped her hands. “Selina, how long it has been.”
Rose’s husband, Mr. Vaughan, walked through behind her, a cold breeze following him. He was of average height and build, and not nearly as handsome as his wife. Rose had married him for his wealth above any other attractions. Thankfully he was an amiable man and treated Rose with respect and generosity, which was all she had ever aspired to. Selina shivered as the cold air seeped through her arms, wishing she had long sleeves like Rose’s to block out the cold.
“What made you come here with such dangerous weather?” Selina asked. “When did you decide to make the journey?”
Rose glanced at her husband with an expression that could only be described as a half-smile, half-grimace. “My husband’s family is dreadfully boring during Christmastide. I begged him to bring me here and he finally obliged. We would have arrived several days ago if the roads had not been so treacherous.”
Selina gaped at her. “Well, I am glad you’ve arrived safely.”
“As am I.” Rose cast her gaze about the entry hall with a sigh. “What an interesting way to have decorated this year. I wish I had been here to help. The evergreen boughs are far too frequently placed. I would have used them sparingly to allow more space for ribbons.”
Selina did not look fondly on the memories of decorating the day before, so she did not mind Rose’s criticism. The abundance of evergreen boughs had all been Miss Perry’s idea. If it had been she and Edmund decorating, perhaps the task would have been completed to Rose’s satisfaction.
As if materialized by her thoughts of him, Edmund stepped out from the bottom of the staircase. He was dressed in his formal black jacket and pure white cravat, his hair combed neatly and his eyes striking, even from a distance. His gaze took her in first, and she didn’t have the strength or desire to look away. It was Christmas Day. She could do as she wished.
He turned his attention to Rose and her husband next, a smile of recognition pulling on his lips.
“Mr. Sharp?” Rose said in a tone of surprise. “Have my eyes deceived me, or is that truly you?”
“It is Sir Edmund now,” Mama corrected, her voice dripping with pride as if she had some claim on the honor of his knighthood. “He is our guest until the roads become safer to travel, though I would not object to him staying even longer than that.” Mama grinned.
Rose cast a glance in Selina’s direction, a sly smile on her lips. “I see. Well, I recall Edmund has always been a very amiable man.”
Selina looked at the floor, embarrassed by the sly smiles passing between Mama and Rose.
“I would not trespass on your hospitality longer than necessary, Mrs. Ellis.” Edmund smiled, catching Selina’s gaze. “My visit was unexpected enough already.”
“Nonsense! You could not trespass even if you stayed for the rest of your life.” Mama laughed, casting one of her sly smiles at Selina.
“When are the other guests expected to arrive?” Selina blurted, her face growing hot.
Mama rambled on about their arrival, but Selina hardly heard her. She could feel Edmund’s gaze on the side of her face, and she could focus on little else.
After sitting in the drawing room for several minutes while Rose and Mr. Vaughan changed for dinner, it was time to move to the dining room. According to the rankings of the guests, Edmund was expected to escort Miss Godwin, who was a distant cousin of Selina’s.
Near the end of the meal of roast goose, boar’s head, brawn, and mincemeat pies, Mama tapped her lips with her serviette. “It is my dearest apology that we do not have a pudding to serve. Due to a mistake in the kitchens late at night, my scrumptious plum pudding which had been aging for weeks was, well, it was destroyed.”
Selina covered her own mouth with her serviette, her eyes darting across the table to Edmund. His lips twisted with a smile, the first she had seen from him all night. Warmth spread through her bones and she sat back in her chair. A chorus of dismay passed over the group.
“How was it destroyed?” Mrs. Godwin asked, her eyes round.
Mama glanced at Edmund before shaking her head. “I haven’t the slightest idea. Not to worry. A new pudding has been stirred up and will be served at our Twelfth Night party. I expect you have already received my invitations? You must taste it. In fact, it was my own daughter and our guest Sir Edmund who prepared it. It is all part of the enjoyment of the holidays.”
Mrs. Godwin seemed surprised by that, but said nothing more, taking a sip from her goblet.
Selin
a exchanged another glance with Edmund, no longer hiding her smile. Once he left, she would never think of plum pudding in the same way. She could never smell it or eat it without thinking of him. The idea sent a surge of grief through her chest. Not the pudding, but the leaving.
When the meal was over, Rose turned to Mama with a voice loud enough to carry over the entire table. “My legs are quite stiff from so many hours in a carriage. I would very much like to dance.”
Mama’s eyebrows rose. “I have not prepared a room for dancing.”
“Well, send the servants at once,” Rose said. “It will not take long, and I am certain your guests would enjoy a little frivolity this evening.”
Declarations of assent came from the Godwins and the Setons.
Mama did not usually enjoy straying from her plans, but for Rose, she would do anything. “Then a dance we shall have.”
Chapter 15
Less than an hour had passed before the servants had successfully emptied a room in the house, even bringing a pianoforte into the corner where Mrs. Ellis had volunteered to play the music. Edmund surveyed the undecorated, dimly lit room. His footsteps echoed in the empty space, and the quiet of the room reminded him of how quiet the library had been earlier that day with Selina.
He had come far too close to kissing her. He had been scolding himself all day, reliving the moment through his mind repeatedly. What had come over him? He would have been such a fool to kiss her when she was still engaged to Skinner, and while he was staying as a guest in the same household. Thankfully, his better judgement had gained control over his desires in time. But only just.
When he reached the center of the room, he turned around, watching as Rose and her husband walked through the doors, followed by Selina and the other guests. Mr. and Mrs. Godwin had one daughter and a son, and the Setons had one daughter in attendance. With an extra lady in attendance, Edmund would likely have to dance each set. But he hoped Selina would be his first partner.
She stood with her hands clasped together, surveying the room nervously.
He approached her, smiling in an attempt to pull the same expression from her serious face. She had been doing that often—alternating between expressions as if she did not know whether she was displeased or happy with Edmund’s company. She was shy one moment and teasing him the next. He could only hope that the cause of it all was that she cared for him more than she believed she ought.
“Your mother failed to mention several important details regarding the pudding incident,” Edmund said in a secretive voice as he stopped by Selina’s side.
As he had hoped, a smile curved her lips. “And there are still several details she does not know of.” Selina shot him a quick glance. “Such as the fact that you are not to blame at all.”
“I did give you enough of a fright to make you drop the pudding when I opened the door.”
“That is true. But my plan was to leave it on the floor outside your room in a similar state. The only difference was that I didn’t think I would be caught.”
Edmund tipped his head back with a chuckle. He preferred Selina this way, when she could laugh with him and speak of lighter things. But he also liked that he could speak of serious matters with her just as easily. The only subject that seemed to cause conflict between them was Mr. Noah Skinner. And Edmund would cause conflict with him if he ever hurt Selina. It was impossible to know for certain all that was happening in Selina’s guarded heart, but he did know for certain what was happening in his.
He was falling in love with her.
Devil take it, he was, and there was nothing he could do about it.
“May I have the honor of your first two dances, Miss Selina Ellis?” Edmund moved to face her fully, lowering his head in a bow before raising his gaze to hers.
She seemed surprised, despite the fact that there were only a few couples in the empty room. His smile grew as the shock melted off her face, replaced with the nonchalant look he had come to know so well. “Yes,” she said, her curls bouncing with the nod that accompanied the word. “It is an honor, indeed.”
He raised one eyebrow, mouthing the word pompous just as Rose approached from behind him. Selina hid her smile.
“Shall we waltz?” Rose asked.
Edmund nodded, and Selina did the same. Whether the German or the French, the waltz was a much more intimate dance than others like the quadrille or scotch reel. The partners were required to be closer, with a greater focus on one another than the others dancing alongside them.
“It will not be the same without violins,” Mrs. Ellis called from behind the pianoforte, “but I will play to the best of my ability.”
From the corner of his eye, Edmund saw Mr. Vaughan escort Rose to the center of the floor, as well as the other pairings. Edmund turned to Selina, extending his hand to her. She placed her gloved fingers lightly over his, her smile fading into a look of concentration as he led her closer to the other couples who had begun lining up.
When they reached the center of the floor, Edmund turned to face Selina, keeping hold of her hand and placing his other hand at her waist, wrapping it around to her back, holding her close. With Mrs. Ellis, Rose, and her husband to see it, he would have no qualms about holding Selina so closely—even closer than the dance demanded—while he could. They likely wished he would hold her closer.
Selina’s chest rose and fell with a deep breath as her gaze flitted to her sister and Mr. Vaughan. Edmund tipped his head down in order to draw her eyes to him, his heart flipping in an unnatural way when her gaze met his. He swallowed, bringing a slight smile to his lips. Why did he feel just as bashful as she appeared? He had danced the waltz with other women but dancing it with Selina was different. His lungs protested for air as the music began.
Selina’s fingers tightened on his, and he pressed her closer to him. How could he be graceful when he was feeling so weak? His concentration on the steps faltered more than once as they turned in time with the music. Mrs. Ellis played the song much slower than it was meant to be played, giving Edmund more time to keep Selina close before releasing her waist as the steps demanded, bringing her back to him between each motion. Selina’s gaze trapped him. If she told him she could read his thoughts, he would believe her.
The golden curls on her brow reminded him of the ribbons they had sorted, the intensity of her eyes reminding him of the way she had examined him while they played chess. She was searching for something in his eyes, just as he was searching hers. This time, she wasn’t looking for proof of his next move on the chessboard. He had done all he could to hide that proof from her; but tonight, he had every intention of proving something far more important.
When the last note rang out from the pianoforte, Selina stumbled a little, finding her balance as he steadied her waist. She stared at his waistcoat before glancing up at him from beneath her lashes, slowly tearing her gaze away. They both turned toward Mrs. Ellis, who stood from the pianoforte. Her curtsy demanded applause, so Edmund released his hold on Selina. His smile had faded during their dance, and finding it again was difficult.
How could he tell her to leave Skinner behind? She did not even know of her inheritance yet. Skinner had told him she would learn of it with the new year. Edmund promised himself that if she had not already made the decision not to marry Skinner by then, he would tell her the man’s intentions himself. Nothing hurt him more than the thought of Selina married to Skinner. Not even the loss of his grandmother’s inheritance. How could he trade possessions for Selina’s happiness?
Edmund would continue to tread carefully, at least while he was still unsure of her feelings. Her trust was won little by little, and so he would continue being her friend.
After three more dances and switching partners between them, the group removed to the drawing room where Rose sang and played the pianoforte. Edmund preferred Christmas festivities with such a small gathering of people, especially since it meant Selina could remain by his side.
Just before they retired
for the evening, Selina glanced at Edmund from her place beside him on the sofa, a smile pulling on her lips. “Happy Christmas.”
Warmth ignited in his chest, and when he spoke, his voice came out weak. “Happy Christmas.”
The next day, Edmund challenged Selina to a third match of chess, and it quickly became a daily tradition. Selina could hardly remember a year when the space between Christmas day and New Year’s Eve had passed so quickly. With Rose and her husband staying at the house, the days were filled with games, desserts, and discussions by the fireplace. Between it all, Selina’s favorite moments were when she and Edmund played chess or walked together from one room to the next, always greeted with sly smiles from Mama and Rose. Selina’s stomach had tied itself in knots on more than one occasion as she thought of how different their expressions would be if they knew it wasn’t Edmund she had promised her heart to.
She hadn’t seen Noah since Christmas Day, but he had told her to meet him the morning of New Year’s Eve. Each time she thought of the preparations he must have been making for their elopement, dread flooded her chest. She would have to tell him to put an end to it. She would have to break his heart.
But as she examined her feelings, she realized that her heart would be left whole, if not a bit better than it was before, once she finally bid Noah farewell for good. She hadn’t missed him in the days since they had last spoken. She had hardly thought of him. The anxiety the entire situation had caused would soon be over. A pang of guilt struck her. Disappointing him would be the hardest thing she had ever done.
Her anxiety rose each time she considered what she would say to Edmund. Was her attachment to Noah the only thing keeping him from declaring his feelings for her? The idea made her heart pound, and she didn’t dare dwell on it for long. How disappointed she would be if it wasn’t true.
With Rose visiting, Mama insisted that they take yet another trip to the Frost Fair before the ice could have a chance to melt. So on the day before New Year’s Eve, they paid the excessive price to set foot on the River Thames one last time. Rose was every bit as fascinated with it as Selina had been on her first visit, and Selina wondered if she had imagined the ill feelings she had held toward her sister. It wasn’t Rose’s fault she had been favored. And now, with her visits so rare, it was natural for Mama to dote on her. Selina smiled as the three of them walked across the ice, arm in arm. She glanced over her shoulder, finding no sign of Edmund.
Her Silent Knight: A Christmas Regency Romance (Belles of Christmas: Frost Fair Book 1) Page 12