The Death of Arfur
Page 3
FLASHBACK:
INT. 86 IRE VILLAGE/LAWD'S BEDROOM -- NIGHT
SFX: RIDE THE BULLET BY ARMY OF LOVERS
Pellam is celebrating passing his driving test. It is evening, and he is dancing, -- very badly. He has his light on and does not realise he can be seen through the thin curtains. It is as if he is in a trance.
EXT. IRE VILLAGE ROAD -- NIGHT
An attractive girl amusedly watches the spectacle in the street outside.
INTERCUT BETWEEN PELLAM AND THE GIRL IN THE STREET.
END FLASHBACK.
I/E. IRE VILLAGE -- DAY
Again, Pellam is parked in the usual spot, when his brother drives by, with an attractive female passenger. The brothers acknowledge one another. As Mordred goes by, Pellam becomes aware of Shades, who is walking down the road. He is staring into Mordred's car, at the girl.
PELLAM: (thinking) Look at 'im! 'E's probably thinking ‘e's got a chance at getting 'er too! (beat) It probably 'asn't dawned on 'im that 'e only managed to get my women 'cause I was 'eld back all that time!
I/E. IRE VILLAGE -- DAY
Gwynne has a Rolls Royce car, and is driving towards the junction in Ire Village, accompanied by Pellam. At that junction are three women around the age of twenty years. They are NICOLE, a red-head; LEAH; and Mercedes. They show a lot of interest in Pellam, but he only seems confused.
PELLAM: (thinking, with some surprise) Friendly local girls?
SUPERIMPOSE: DANIEL QUILP ACCOUNTANTS
INT. OFFICE -- DAY
A small, deformed man, Daniel QUILP, is speaking on the telephone, in a broad cockney accent.
QUILP: I 'ave sacked ‘im, mate! (inaudible caller on the other end of the telephone) 'E was useless anyway!
(Quilp puts the telephone down, and shakes his head) 'E's way too familiar for someone I've only spoken to on the 'phone and never even met!
INT. 54 IRE HOUSE -- DAY
Ahab puts the telephone down, with a satisfied look on his face. Gathered around him is his wife and grandsons.
SHADES: Getting rid of him, is he, grandad?
AHAB (self-satisfied) Yeah.
All the group are happy with the news.
I/E. IRE VILLAGE -- DAY
Pellam is a passenger in his mother's parked Rolls Royce. As he sits there, Gormley drives by in his old car. He slows down and stares in the window of the parked car. His expression changes from one of curiosity to delight as he notes that Pellam is not at work. Pellam is puzzled.
I/E. SUPERMARKET CAR PARK -- DAY
Gwynne is grocery shopping whilst Pellam waits in the car. The car receives plenty of attention; which pleases Pellam.
When the shopping is completed, the pair return home.
I/E. CAR -- DAY (TRAVELLING)
As they near their house, in Filmwell (the village in which 91 Georgian House is), and slow down to enter their drive, Gwynne becomes aware of an old jalopy that had been tailing them. She draws Pellam's attention to the driver. It is Gormley.
GWYNNE: Look at the state of him! He looks like he's just been emptied out of Belsen or something! Pellam smiles with amusement, as he recognises the follower. On realising he is the subject of their attention, Gormley swerves his old car all over the road, in a state of confusion.
PELLAM: (thinking) That's “Gormless Local”.
I/E. 91 GEORGIAN HOUSE -- DAY
Pellam is talking at the door with an attractive female BAILIFF.
BAILIFF: I'm looking for Arthur Smallthorn.
PELLAM: (thinking) That'll be me dad. There's always people after 'im. (beat) Mind you, they don't always look like that!
BAILIFF: (continuing) Is he here?
PELLAM: ‘Ere?
BAILIFF Yes; -- at home, at the moment?
Pellam is thoughtful.
PELLAM: (thinking) Why should I 'elp him? 'e don't exactly 'elp me, does ‘e! (He gives an ironic snort.) 'E's not 'ere at the moment, -- but I might still be able to ‘elp you?
BAILIFF: So, he does live here?
PELLAM: (thinking) Oh, dear! I've probably said too much already.
INT. 91 GEORGIAN HOUSE/PELLAM'S BEDROOM -- DAY
Pellam is having sexual relations with the bailiff. Afterwards, they lay together in bed, and chat. The bailiff has a curious fixation with Pellam's private parts.
FLASHBACK:
MONTAGE -- INT. 87 FAIRLEIGH/PELLAM'S BEDROOM -- DAY
1) Pellam has a pair of white ice-skating boots.
2) He is blunting the blades with a file.
3) He pushes them down towards his groin.
END FLASHBACK.
INT. 91 GEORGIAN HOUSE/PELLAM'S BEDROOM -- DAY
PELLAM: Then I just ended up getting it caught in the zip! (The bailiff seems incredulous at the unlikely story.)
INT. DOCTOR'S SURGERY/WAITING ROOM -- NIGHT
Pellam is visiting a DOCTOR in Ire Village. In the waiting room is Stephanie. She is the girl who had been watching him outside his house in Ire Village, all those years ago. She is now in her early twenties. She is with her mother (STEPHANIE'S MOTHER). They look at each other in surprise when Pellam enters.
PELLAM: (thinking) I fink I must have caught sumfing off of that slaggy bailiff!
LATER
The doctor is with the women in the waiting room, following their consultation.
STEPHANIE: We know that man, don't we mum.
STEPHANIE'S MOTHER: We do.
DOCTOR: (trying to disguise his amusement) Poor chap! He thought he'd caught syphilis, but he only had a touch of thrush. (The women look at each other, surprised.) I don't know what his girlfriend had been doing to him though? I hate to think! (The women give each other a curious look.)
INT. CAR AUCTION -- NIGHT
Arfur and Mordred are looking around cars that are to be put through an auction. Ahab, Squeaker and Gormely are there too. They are keeping a wary eye on the Smallthorns. -- An old car goes through the auction.
ARFUR: That'll do yer, won't it, Mord? (Mordred nods in agreement.)
Every time Arfur and Art try to bid on the car, the Hunts attempt to outbid them.
GORMLEY: (to Ahab) Shall I do it? Shall I do it? (Ahab impatiently nods).
Gormley throws up one of his gangly arms.
GORMLEY: Yarp!
Ahab turns to his amused son.
AHAB: Why's 'e think 'e's gotta say that every time 'e bids?
SQUEAKER: (amused) I dunno!
INT. LIBRARY -- DAY
Pellam is looking through the Yellow Pages.
PELLAM: (to the camera) Hmm, that name could be right? Francesca did seem to 'ave two surnames; as 'er parents must've been divorced. (Pellam makes a note of the name and telephone number, and leaves the building.)
INT. 91 GEORGIAN HOUSE -- DAY
Pellam picks up the telephone and dials the number he found. Francesca answers, in her posh voice.
FRANCESCA: (O.S.) Hello. 0424 798397.
After a pause, Pellam, hangs-up.
PELLAM: (thinking, thoughtfully) That sounds like 'er. -- And cold and suspicious, too, when I didn't speak...
INT. 91 GEORGIAN HOUSE -- DAY
It is another day - an afternoon - and Pellam is partaking in a few cans of beer. He tries the number again. -- A man, FRANCESCA'S BROTHER, answers.
FRANCESCA'S BROTHER: (O.S.) Hello.
PELLAM: (nervous) Hello... Er, this is Pell -- er, Will -- er, William. -- I don't know if I've got the right number. -- Er-- (Mordred is downstairs, but he has heard the conversation, and begins creeping up to the room where the telephone is, -- a look of horror on his face!)
FRANCESCA'S BROTHER: (O.S.) Yes, you have definitely got the right number!
PELLAM: O, er, good... Er, is Francesca there?
FRANCESCA'S BROTHER: (O.S.) She's in bed at the minute, -- asleep.
PELLAM: Ok. Shall I ring back another time?
FRANCESCA'S BROTHER: (O.S.) Yeah, -- do that, mate!
PELLAM: Ok. Thanks. Bye! (beat) (thinking) Hmm,
in bed at the minute? I don't like the sound of that! In bed with one of those ginger cunts, quite likely!
Mordred looks alarmed. -- Pellam returns to his beer in celebration.
END OF FLASHBACK.
INT. 91 GEORGIAN HOUSE -- DAY
Pellam once more turns to the cans of beer, before making his way to the telephone. He picks up the telephone and begins to dial; -- then stops.
PELLAM: (thinking) Actually, I might take an easier option. I've got Francesca's address. I might as well write. -- With that resolve, Pellam is much relieved, as he found the prospect daunting.
INT. 91 GEORGIAN HOUSE -- DAY
Pellam is writing a letter to Francesca on his computer.
‘Dear... whomever it may concern,
PELLAM: (thinking) I can't put nofing else, as I don't know for sure if it is Francesca I'm writing to! (an ironic chuckle) I'm too careful for me own good!
‘First of all, please accept my apologies for writing if this letter does not concern you. If it does concern you, then at least I have kept it brief.
Firstly, I would like to make clear that I knew nothing of this situation in the first instance. Anything I do 'know' of it, I have guessed at.
This brings me neatly to my second point, and this is that I believe this situation has conjured up so much jealousy amongst those who know of it, that they will stop at nothing to ruin things for me. In that, is the reason why I know nothing of what I write!
PELLAM: (thinking) Ah! I wonder if she'll understand that bit? She's not exactly going to be bright, is she!
‘Then there are others who would not only deprive me of the benefits associated with this, my situation, but would have those benefits for themselves. I, of course, talk about what I refer to as the 'Ginj-mates'; and I expressly forbid the involvement of any of you with such low lives.
FLASHBACK:
FRANCESCA'S BROTHER: (O.S.) She's in bed at the minute, -- asleep.
END FLASHBACK.
PELLAM: (thinking) Shall I refer to meself as the 'Pimpernel'?
Kind regards…’
Pellam reads the letter over and is pleased with it.
PELLAM: (thinking) I'm good! Cream rises to the top in the end! -- Now see how those Ginj-mates do against me! (Smug, and wearing gloves, Pellam folds the letter and puts it into an envelope.
INT. FRANCESCA'S HOUSE -- DAY
It is morning, and Francesca is curious to find the letter addressed to her. She opens the envelope and reads it.
FRANCESCA: (surprised) What a cheek! Who does he think he is?
INT. 91 GEORGIAN HOUSE -- DAY
Pellam is once more boosting himself with Dutch courage, to make a telephone call to Francesca.
PELLAM: (thinking) It's been awhile with no reply; that's why I'm putting myself through this again!
SFX: SOUND OF LAWD'S HEART BEATING.
The telephone is answered.
PELLAM: Hello. May I speak to Francesca?
FRANCESCA'S MOTHER: (O.S.) Speaking. Who's calling?
INT. 91 GEORGIAN HOUSE -- DAY
CLOSE UP OF PELLAM: HE IS HORRIFIED!
Pellam: Erm... I 'phoned before, and a man informed me someone called Francesca lived there. (beat) (thinking) What do I say and do now?
FRANCESCA'S MOTHER: (O.S.) Yes, that was my son. You're William, aren't you?
PELLAM: Erm... Yeah.
FRANCESCA'S MOTHER: (O.S.) My son mistook you for his cousin, -- William.
PELLAM: O!... Erm... Sorry for the...mix up!
FRANCESCA'S MOTHER: (O.S.) That's quite alright! (beat) Who is Francesca anyway? Your friend?
PELLAM: O, er. -- Sort of! -- Anyway, I must go! (Pellam puts the telephone down.) (thinking) I don't believe a word of it! (beat) I bet she was fishing in the 'ope of me saying sumfing romantic about 'er daughter!
INT. 91 GEORGIAN HOUSE -- DAY
Pellam is deflated. But once more he turns to paper and word processor. This time he signs off his letter with a request that Francesca passes on the letter to 'Nicole'.
EXT. FILMWELL -- DAY
Pellam pops the letter into a postbox.
PELLAM (thinking, and smug) Hitler used to build up expectation wiv a long pause before 'e made 'is address. Whatever you fink of 'im, it's a good tactic!
Pellam beckons the reader in closer, so as to divulge a secret.
PELLAM: (to the reader) I've made a few extraordinary discoveries of late! Even found sumfing of a replacement for Hedda! -- and amongst my women too! It's this that's the reason for the pregnant pause! I've let Francesca, Nicole, and the rest know there's one special lady amongst their number. (Smiles smugly to the reader, and taps his nose with his index finger, knowingly) But I'm not letting 'em know which, -- in a hurry!
INT. 91 GEORGIAN HOUSE -- DAY
BEGIN FLASHBACK:
Pellam is perusing a spiritualist reading.
PELLAM: (to the reader) It's a shame Sybil Shipton passed on! But this medium, Madam Angelina, is good! Look at this: (Pellam shows part of the letter to the reader.)
INSERT: YOUR FRIENDS JEREMIAH, CLIVE, AND ELLA WILL BE BACK IN YOUR LIFE.
PELLAM: (to the reader) I know all these from school. -- It seems it wasn't just Francesca and a few close friends and family of 'ers that were 'ere, but loads from where I used to live. (beat) Including little Ella!
END FLASHBACK.
PELLAM: (to the reader) And this must be ‘er as she is now:
FLASHBACK:
I/E. FAIRLEIGH ROAD -- NIGHT
Irene walks by, with another young woman. The other woman is quite small. Irene draws the girl's attention to the car, and whispers to her.
PELLAM: (O.S.) That must be 'er, there. -- The second one.
END OF FLASHBACK.
INT. 91 GEORGIAN HOUSE -- DAY
PELLAM: (to the reader) You know, there's often more in fairy tales than meets the eye! They say the Cinderella story was not so much about Prince Charming finding a slipper that fitted... (beat) That's why I need these smaller women! -- like Ella.
I/E. PELLAM'S MERCEDES CAR -- DAY
Pellam is driving through Ire Village in a 4x4 Mercedes, towards Senlac, when he is noticed by Gormley, driving the other way. Gormley, looks gutted, but makes a point of emphasising a yawn obvious enough for Pellam to see as he goes by.
INT. 91 GEORGIAN HOUSE -- DAY
Pellam is writing another letter.
PELLAM: (thinking, smug) This time I'm gonna let 'em 'av' it!
Pellam writes the following lines: ‘And the name is: “Ella”.’
PELLAM: (thinking, --still smug) That should do it! (Pellam seals the letter for posting. Again he wears gloves.)
I/E. PELLAM'S MERCEDES CAR -- DAY
Pellam is once more driving into Senlac, through Ire Village. He sees Stephanie. She coldly looks away on seeing him.
PELLAM: (thinking) That's odd! Usually me women look up to me in 'ope and anticipation! in case it is their name I’m 'olding back! (beat) Must be because they know now it is Ella! (Pellam stops at some traffic lights in Ire Village. Gormley crosses the crossing, swaggering, and with a gloating look towards Pellam.) I can't explain that so easily!
Pellam has an appointment with a dentist. He gets out of his parked car and enters the surgery.
LATER
After his appointment, Pellam returns to his car, gets in, and drives off. Once more he is caught at the Ire Village traffic lights. As he pulls away from the lights, and looks in his rear-view mirror, he becomes suspicious that he is being followed. Behind him is a small car, driven by Shorters; with Gormely sat beside him in the passenger seat. They look sly and self-assured.
PELLAM: (thinking) It's two of those goons! (Pellam goes into a trance and inadvertently speeds up. The following car panics, and struggles to catch up. -- When they have caught up, the two pursuers look relieved. Then Gormley leans across to Shorters, and whispers something to him. A sly look returns to the faces of the pair. The Ginj-mates follow Pellam almost to his road, bu
t turn back before quite getting there.
INT. 91 GEORGIAN HOUSE -- DAY