All He Wants

by Melanie Shawn

  Part of the reason that her heel kept breaking out in its best Fred Astaire impersonation was because her mind kept wandering to the situation she’d been completely ignoring since arriving in Harper’s Crossing. The other part had to do with Dr. Shaw’s visit that afternoon. Her dad would be released tomorrow. Antsy didn’t come close to describing what she was experiencing. It was all she could do to sit still.

  If Billy was sitting beside her, she knew that his hand would be covering her knee and she wouldn’t have to give it another thought. So she should be happy that he wasn’t. She’d let her guard down this week big time. Being in Harper’s Crossing, in Billy’s home, spending every day with him at the hospital and every night with him in bed had been a temporary break from reality. But that was all ending soon. Her return to the real world was imminent and she needed to start putting some emotional barriers up or the after effects could be devastating.

  “I heard that Dr. Shaw said he’s ready to be discharged tomorrow?” Stephanie whispered as she changed her dad’s IV bag.

  Her dad had been in the hospital for six days, and although both he and his doctor believed that he was ready to go home, Maxi wasn’t so sure. Not trusting herself to speak without her reservations being evident, she nodded.

  “I bet he’s thrilled.” Stephanie smiled as she continued speaking quietly, “He’s been itching to get out of here. I thought a couple times he was going to check himself out.”

  He’d threatened to do just that multiple times.

  “Thanks for putting up with him,” Maxi spoke at a hushed volume. “I know he’s not the easiest patient.”

  Stephanie waved her hand dismissively. “He’s been great. He’s a big softie underneath that grumpy exterior.”

  That was true. Charlie Rizzo was all heart beneath his Oscar the Grouch exterior.

  As Stephanie checked the tubing that ran from the IV to the bag, she covered her mouth with her forearm as she yawned loudly. Maxi noticed it was the second time she’d done so since arriving.

  “Did that neighbor of yours keep you up again?” Her dad’s voice sounded raspy and thin as his eyes opened.

  “I’m so sorry.” Stephanie sighed. “I was trying to work quietly and not wake you up and then that yawn just hit me.”

  “I wasn’t sleeping, just resting my eyes.”

  Yeah, right. That story might’ve worked if he didn’t “rest his eyes” so audibly. Maxi wouldn’t be surprised if the patients at the end of the hall had heard him “resting his eyes.”

  “Oh, really?” Stephanie’s left brow rose. “Do you always snore when you rest your eyes?”

  “I don’t snore,” her dad refuted.

  He’d never admitted that he was a chronic snorer. Even being presented with video evidence that Maxi had recorded one night wasn’t enough to get him to own up to snoring. Growing up she’d actually kind of liked it. Every night he’d perform a symphony of nocturnal nose breathing that she’d hear through their thin walls. Even now it made her feel like she was home again, back when things were simple.

  Her dad pressed the button that raised the incline of his bed until he was seated upright. “So, did you get any sleep today or was trouble at it again?”

  “I got about three hours, but it’s really not his fault,” she defended. “I’m the one who needs to get sleep during the day when everyone else is up living life. I think I just got spoiled because my last neighbors both worked in the city so they left before I got off my graveyard shift and didn’t usually get home until I was getting up for work. It wouldn’t be so bad if we didn’t share a wall. My bedroom sits beside his garage.”

  “You need to go talk to him,” her dad barked. “Tell him to keep it down.”

  “Nope.” Stephanie shook her head and the ponytail that her hair was pulled up in swung back and forth. “Not going to happen. I told you he’s trouble.”

  “Trouble?” Maxi asked with concern.

  If she felt unsafe, then Maxi would make sure that Billy knew and maybe have him stop by to have a talk with the neighbor.

  “Oh yeah.” She nodded enthusiastically as she began counting on her fingers. “Dark hair. Light eyes. Big smile. Dimples. And I heard him talking to someone in his garage and I clearly heard a southern accent. T-r-o-u-b-l-e with a capital T.”

  “Sounds like you like him, so you should definitely go talk to him,” her dad insisted.

  Maxi resisted rolling her eyes. For a man that hadn’t dated in the past twenty years since her mom left, he sure didn’t mind playing cupid in other people’s love lives. If she had a dollar for every time he’d tried to set someone up, she wouldn’t have needed her inheritance to buy her condo.

  “I do like him,” Stephanie unapologetically admitted. “Which is why I don’t want to go talk to him.”

  Her answer piqued Maxi’s curiosity, but unlike her dad, she didn’t meddle.

  “Right, you don’t want a boyfriend. I remember.” He looked back and forth between Maxi and Stephanie. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you two.”

  “Whoa.” Maxi lifted her hands in a defensive stance. “How did I get dragged into this?”

  “You’re just like this one,” he motioned to Stephanie with his thumb sticking out like he was hitchhiking on the side of the road. “Two peas in a pod. I think it’s that song by Beyoncé, you want to be independent women.”

  “Actually, I think TLC’s ‘No Scrubs’ is more my jam.” She looked down. “Which is ironic because I wear scrubs every day.”

  Maxi chuckled but her dad continued on, unamused. “You’re both young and beautiful, you should be falling in and out of love. This is the best time of your lives, you should be living and living is loving.”

  “No thanks.” Stephanie answered.

  At the same time Maxi said, “I’m good, but thanks.”

  “You two don’t know what you’re missing,” he contended.

  “Wow.” Stephanie beamed down at her patient and crossed her arms. “I never would’ve pegged you for a romantic.”

  “You don’t have to be a romantic to know that the best thing in life is love,” he grumbled. “And one day both of you will fall head over heels when you least expect it and there’s nothing you’ll be able to do about it. When love hits you, you don’t get to decide that you don’t want it. It’s the ultimate TKO. You go down for the count.”

  “Thankfully I’m a good bob and weaver.” Stephanie fisted her hands and ducked an imaginary punch.

  Again, Maxi laughed.

  Out of the corner of her eye she tried to see if Billy was listening. She crossed her fingers and toes—metaphorically—that he wasn’t hearing this conversation. They hadn’t had any kind of relationship talk, but she knew what this was. He wasn’t the kind of guy that settled down. She’d gone into this with her eyes wide open. And oddly enough, she didn’t regret any of it. The first two times they’d had sex she’d suffered post coital freak out, but since then she’d been fine. Her mind had categorized it as they were being forced to live together and were enjoying each other while they did.

  End of story. This wasn’t a fairy tale and he wasn’t her prince, no matter what her imagination chose to believe. Her common sense overrode any fantasies that had played out in her head. This was temporary, no matter how permanent it felt.

  “Hey, turn that up,” her dad instructed, pointing at the television.

  Maxi grabbed the remote and had her finger on the volume button before she glanced up at the screen. When she looked up the remote fell from her hand.

  On the top left hand corner of the television was a picture of Damien “The Smasher” Samuels sitting in a room with a reporter. “This Saturday our own Brian Thomas will be bringing you an exclusive sit down interview with Damien ‘The Smasher’ Samuels who is currently incarcerated after being found guilty on manslaughter charges in the death of Miles Hale. We’ll talk to ‘The Smasher’ about the barroom brawl that ended in death, his alleged ties to the mob, his upcoming parole
hearing and more. You don’t want to miss the shocking…”

  The announcer’s voice trailed off, replaced by a loud buzzing sound in her head. She tried to ignore it but the room suddenly felt like it was spinning. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath, in through her nose and out through her mouth. She knew her physical reaction was really a psychological one and she tried to anchor herself to that fact. All of these symptoms were just a response to seeing Damien’s face again after all these years.

  That was all. The important thing was, he was still behind bars. For now.

  * * *

  As much as Billy enjoyed talking with the Colonel, he had to admit that he was only half listening. They’d discussed his resignation from Elite Security, which he’d given to Seth four days ago. The assignment with Maxi would be his last. His boss had wished him well and told him he’d always have a place at Elite. They talked about him transitioning to a coach after so many years of being the one that was trained.

  The Colonel was dropping wisdom on him left and right but still his attention kept being pulled back to Maxi. Since she’d heard that Charlie was most likely going to be released tomorrow she’d seemed on edge. He hadn’t been able to get a moment alone with her to check in with her. Being so close to her without being able to talk to her, to kiss her, to hug her, to touch her was driving him crazy.

  After spending the past week with her, he was more certain than ever that they belonged together. Of course he knew that it hadn’t been a representation of what real life was like. But they’d fallen into an easy routine of getting up, going on a run, having breakfast, showering, coming to the hospital, going home, having dinner, sometimes watching TV, and sometimes just going straight to bed. Every day they’d made love at least twice. Every morning when they woke up and then again before they went to sleep. But they’d also shared a few afternoon and evening delights. They’d enjoyed themselves in the shower, at the dinner table, on the couch, and once in his truck before they made it inside his house.

  Not that all they had was physical, it wasn’t. That wasn’t why he was already dreading walking back into his house and her not being there. Sure, he’d miss the sex and since they’d christened practically every room in his house he’d have constant reminders of the time they’d shared.

  But more than that, he’d just miss her. He’d miss the way she stretched out on the couch and tucked her feet under his legs because they were always cold. He’d miss her singing in the shower, even though it was criminally off key. The way she always leaned back in her chair and stretched after a big meal like she’d just ran a marathon. The way she snuggled against him when she slept, like she couldn’t get close enough to him.

  There were a million little things that he’d miss, but most of all he’d miss waking up to her smile. Her smile wasn’t just an expression. It wasn’t just lips turning up to show a perfect line of white teeth. It was more. When she smiled time suspended, everything slowed around him; his life was a movie that paused. Her smile owned him.

  He heard something drop and turned to see Stephanie picking the remote up from the floor. Maxi was staring at the TV. Her face was white and her eyes wide. He glanced up at the flat screen and saw that there was a story about a boxer that had been at the gym when he started working and training there. The few interactions that Billy had had with him had not been good. Growing up, his mom had a steady stream of boyfriends coming in and out of their lives. At a young age he’d gotten really good at distinguishing regular assholes from dangerous assholes and Damien “The Smasher” Samuels was a dangerous asshole. He remembered feeling relieved when he got arrested.

  He listened as the sportscaster announced a prison interview that was going to air this weekend.

  “I never liked that kid,” Charlie said to the room at large. “Maxi didn’t either. Did you, pumpkin?”

  Maxi didn’t answer her dad, she just continued staring up at the television screen. He recognized the look on her face. It was the same one that he’d seen when she’d taken the call right before her date. Like she’d seen a ghost.

  The hairs on the back of Billy’s neck stood up. His senses were at full alert. Something was wrong and this time he planned on getting to the bottom of it.

  “Maxi, do you remember that you didn’t like him?” Charlie asked again.

  “What?” She blinked.

  He motioned to the TV. “Samuels, you never liked him.”

  “No.” Her voice was barely audible.

  “Wait a minute, I remember that story.” The Colonel returned to the chair he’d vacated when Stephanie had come in. “Did he train with you?”

  Charlie filled his friend in on how Samuels had trained with Lloyd Gianni about fifteen years ago, but a month before his fight he just disappeared. No goodbye. No explanation. Nothing. They found out later that he went back up to New York, where he was from. He dropped out of the boxing scene completely. Then a few years later he showed back up, Lloyd agreed to work with him because the kid had raw talent. But two weeks before his title fight, he got arrested for aggravated assault. The victim, Miles Hale, was in a coma for three days before dying. That’s when the assault charge turned into a murder rap.

  Billy’s jaw tensed as he stared across the room at Maxi. Not being able to walk over and pull her into his arms was torture. But he knew he couldn’t do that. He didn’t even trust himself to go sit beside her. If he did he’d probably do something that he wasn’t supposed to. She might be fine with what they were doing behind closed doors, but he knew that she didn’t want anyone knowing what was going on between them. She’d told him that in no uncertain terms.

  Logically, he understood. Especially since they hadn’t even discussed what they were. But emotionally it stung like the time he’d accidently stepped in a beehive and ended up looking like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

  “Sorry to break up the party.” Stephanie announced as she returned. “But I need to take Mr. I’m Fine down to radiology, Dr. Shaw wants a few more tests before he signs your walking papers tomorrow.”

  Charlie grumbled about him being fine and not needing any more tests. Then he complained about the fact that he had to ride in a wheel chair down to the tests.

  “I have two perfectly good legs I can use,” he insisted as she pushed him out of the room.

  Maxi stood and Billy assumed that she was going to go with her dad. Which meant he was going to go with both of them. He didn’t care if they were in Harper’s Crossing and not Chicago, she wasn’t going anywhere without him. Not until they caught the sick fuck that was doing this.

  She didn’t acknowledge him when she brushed past him, but when he stepped behind her she stopped and turned her head, looking over her shoulder. “I’m just going to the bathroom.” She gestured at the private bathroom in the far corner of the room.

  The look in her eyes was distant and removed. He wasn’t looking at the same girl that he’d held in his arms as she slept every night this week.

  “Are you okay?” He reached out and touched her arm.

  “I’m fine.” She shrugged away from him and spun her head back.

  He watched the door shut behind her and he thought that it was a perfect example of what was happening between them. She was shutting him out.

  The Colonel slapped his hand on Billy’s shoulder as he stepped next to him. “So son, when do you plan on telling her?”

  Billy tried to rewind the conversation that they’d been having before the story about Damien Samuels had come on. Since he’d only been half listening he came up with nothing. Had he said he would tell her something?

  Hoping that he didn’t offend a man he’d come to truly respect, he asked, “Telling her what?”

  “That you love her.”

  Billy stared blankly. He wasn’t sure what to say. The Colonel and Charlie were good friends, and Charlie was more than just a father figure to him. He was the man he owed his life to. He didn’t want to admit to something that could get back to him before h
e had a chance to tell him. Or her, for that matter.

  “Come on, I was born but I wasn’t born yesterday. You’re a goner. It’s game over for you. And I like you. You’re a good man, so I don’t want you to screw this up. You need to tell her, because as obvious as it is to me, that girl in there has blinders on when it comes to you. I don’t think she has any idea.”

  Figuring there was no point in denying it, and actually feeling a little bit relieved that someone else knew what was going on, Billy stared at the closed door and promised, “I’m going to tell her.”

  “When?”

  When her life isn’t imploding.

  “It’s just not a good time now.”

  “And when is this good time gonna happen?”

  “Someday.” Soon he hoped.

  “Son, I know all the days of the week, and someday isn’t one of them.” He squeezed the hand that was resting on Billy’s shoulder. “The thing about life is, you can’t always wait for it to put all of your ducks in a row for you, sometimes, you’ve just gotta line those suckers up yourself.” With that he dropped his hand and announced, “I’m going to get a coffee, you want anything?”

  “No, thanks.”

  Billy didn’t know why he even asked since it didn’t matter that he always said no, the Colonel would still come back with something for him and Maxi. But one thing he did know, it was time to put some ducks in a row.

  Chapter 22

  “If you don’t want me to go, you can just drop me off at my dad’s.”

  When her suggestion was met with total silence, Maxi shifted in the passenger seat of Billy’s SUV and adjusted the air vents so they were facing right at her in an attempt to hold the sweat that was forming on her brow, behind her neck, on her chest, her underarms, basically everywhere at bay. For once, over the past couple of months, her nervous perspiration and the butterflies fluttering low in her belly had nothing to do with her.

  She tried again. “Lloyd’s there and I know I would be perfectly safe.”

  “I don’t know that.” Billy continued staring straight ahead at the road in front of him. His hands were gripping the steering wheel so tight, his knuckles were white.