All He Wants

by Melanie Shawn

  After her dad was released from the hospital this morning, they’d tried to convince him to stay at Billy’s house for a few days. He didn’t go for it. He wanted to be home, in his own bed. Which Maxi understood, it’s just she would’ve felt better if she could keep an eye on him for the first few days he was home.

  Lloyd was waiting for them when they got there. While they were getting her dad settled, making sure he had everything he needed and was straight on what medications he needed to take when, Billy’s phone started blowing up.

  Of course her mind immediately went to the investigation, she assumed that there’d been a break in the case. But it turned out to be Billy’s mom. She’d been contacting him a lot over the past couple weeks and he hadn’t seemed that concerned. But now he did. He’d pulled her aside and said that he needed to go check on her and that she was going to have to come with him. It was obvious that he really didn’t want her there, but he felt like he had no choice except to bring her. She hated being anyone’s burden, especially his.

  “I can wait in the car when we get there,” she offered hopefully.

  “No,” he answered flatly. “You can’t.”

  Ooookay.

  Maxi looked out the window and decided to stop trying to talk to him. He’d given her space when she needed it and he deserved the same consideration.

  Yesterday when she’d seen the news report about Samuels, she’d retreated into a shell. Well, first the bathroom and then a shell. Billy had noticed. Once they got home last night he tried several times to get her to open up about what was bothering her, but she’d denied that anything was wrong.

  Telling him that it upset her seeing Damien Samuel’s picture would just lead to more questions. Questions she didn’t want to answer. Instead of making her avoidance a big deal, or pressuring her to tell him, he’d just held her and told her that he’d be there when she was ready to talk about it.

  His supportive and sweet comment had meant the world to her. She was falling even further down the rabbit hole into love-wonderland. Her reaction to his unwavering support had put a mirror up to her and caused her to face what she was feeling for Billy in a fearless inventory.

  She was in love with him. Him, not the fairytale prince, knight in shining armor version that she’d built up in her mind. She loved the man that raked his fingers through her hair until she fell asleep. The man that covered her knee when she wasn’t even aware that she was tapping it. The man that with one look could transport her into a realm where only they existed. The man that called her friend to make sure that she had clothes to wear after her dad suffered a heart attack. The man that spent six days by her dad’s bedside, never once complaining, and whenever she thanked him he told her there was nowhere else in the world he’d rather be and she believed him. The man that showed her just how much passion she possessed and inspired her to own her sexuality. The man that took care of everyone around him without asking for anything in return.

  She loved the real Billy Marshall, not the persona, not the fantasy.

  All night last night, as she’d lain in his arms, she’d been thinking about what she was going to do about her feelings. As tempting as it was to continue on, making love to him, playing house, ignoring reality, she knew that she couldn’t do that. If she had any chance of surviving the inevitable, devastating heartbreak that she’d suffer once this, whatever this was, was over, she had to start putting up some protective walls. Starting with eliminating their physical relationship. There needed to be a no contact rule in place.

  Sooner rather than later.

  And she also knew that she needed to let him know what was going on. He deserved that much. She wasn’t going to do an emotional one-eighty and not give him any explanation. Now all she had to do was figure out how to tell him. It wasn’t a conversation that she’d ever envisioned herself having.

  What was she going to say? “Hey there friend with benefits, it looks like we’re going to have to lose the benefits because, funny story, in the midst of all the chaos, that laughingly is my life, I sort of fell in love with you and since I know that’s not really your ‘thing’ I think it’s best if I just back out gracefully before you stomp all over my heart.”

  Yeah, probably not that.

  She glanced over at Billy and her heart sank even further. He wore aviator sunglasses, a white T-shirt that pulled taut across his chest and around his biceps and his jaw was sprinkled with just enough scruff to add to his bad boy appearance. Her eyes traveled further down his arm, across his muscular forearms. Those arms were going to be hard to give up.

  “What?” he asked, still looking straight ahead.

  His peripheral vison was off the charts.

  “Nothing.” She turned her head back.

  They were silent for the rest of the fifteen-minute car ride. When they pulled up in front of the small, quaint looking house that Billy had grown up in he cut the engine but made no move to get out. Maxi was trying to take her cues from him, so she sat and waited. He removed his glasses and turned towards her.

  “Before we go in there…you should know…I mean…” Without finishing his thought, Billy ran his hands through his hair.

  With clients she was so used to being the one that fixed things, the one that calmed them down when they were upset, that supported and comforted them. But she’d never really been that for Billy. He was just so strong, so sure, so competent and capable. Their dynamic had always been that he took care of her. Even before her life had gone crazy, he’d always been there for her.

  Seeing him look so unsure was such a new experience for Maxi that she totally forgot about enforcing her new no contact rule and she reached out and touched his shoulder. “It’s fine, really. I promise.”

  Big mistake. Tingles traveled from the tips of her fingers to her toes. His eyes met hers and she smiled. It wasn’t a premeditated gesture, her lips just turned up a lot when he was around. All on their own.

  Reaching out, he cupped her face as the pad of his thumb ran across her bottom lip. “Damn, that smile owns me.”

  The gravel in his voice and the touch of his hand sent a shudder running down Maxi’s spine. The look in his eye and the words he spoke reduced her to a puddle of swoon. Her head was telling her to pull away, but instead she leaned into his palm. The warmth that radiated from him spread through her like hot chocolate on a freezing day.

  She’d never wanted to be one of the women that she’d seen growing up in the gym that would do anything to get attention from whichever fighter they set their sights on. That would come back time and time again after basically being discarded. And before now, she never worried that she would be. Relationships were dispensable to her. Until Billy. She’d always feared that he would be her undoing, and now she was beginning to see that her fears weren’t unfounded. At this moment she would’ve sold her soul to keep feeling what Billy made her feel.

  And that scared her. He wasn’t the kind of guy that she could have a future with and since he was the only person she saw a future with there was a problem. One that she would have to be strong enough to solve.

  Pulling away from him, she cleared her throat as she brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Should we go?”

  He stared at her for a beat before nodding and getting out of the SUV.

  With each step they took on the pathway that led up to the door Billy transformed in front of her eyes. It reminded her of his boxing days, when her dad would be taping up his hands before a fight, he morphed into what she could only describe as a wild animal stalking his prey. He was calm, deadly calm, hyper-focused and primed for battle.

  She’d only met his mom a few times and none of them had been pleasant. It broke her heart that this was what he had to do when he went to his childhood home. That he had to turn into this warrior version of himself.

  As they got closer to the door she heard voices that didn’t sound happy.

  “No!” A woman screamed. “You’re not leaving until you tell me who she i
s!”

  “Get out of my way!” A man yelled.

  When they got to the door, Maxi expected Billy to burst in but instead he turned to her. She could see the battle going on in his light brown gaze. He didn’t want her here. “Stay behind me. Whatever happens, do not try to help. Do you understand?”

  She’d grown up around a lot of testosterone. This wasn’t her first rodeo. “Billy, I—”

  She barely got two words out before he cut her off. “Do you understand?”

  Never mind. “Yes.”

  With that he opened the front door and walked in calling out, “Mom!”

  Deborah Marshall appeared from the doorway of the kitchen, wielding a butcher’s knife in hand. “Oh look who decided to finally show up!” She sneered, slurring her words.

  It was obvious that she was under the influence.

  Looking back over her shoulder she held the knife up in the air and threatened, “My son’s here now! He’s gonna kick your cheating ass!”

  “Hey, man!” A very large, imposing, and hairy guy stepped into view holding his hands up in surrender. “I just want to get my stuff and leave. That’s all. I don’t want any trouble.”

  “Well, you should’ve thought about that before you stuck your dick in Tally Yates!” Deborah swung the knife in the bearded man’s direction.

  “Mom, give me the knife.” Maxi barely recognized Billy’s voice. It sounded so cold and detached.

  He walked forward slowly and held out his hand.

  “No! You can’t have my knife.” She spun back around and stumbled as she jerked the weapon away from him.

  “If you don’t give me the knife, I’m leaving.” His tone was steady and calm.

  “Fine,” she pouted as she handed over the cutlery.

  Maxi let out a breath of relief.

  Once Billy had the weapon, he stepped in front of his mom and motioned for the guy to leave. “Get the fuck out of here.”

  The man started towards the front door, where Maxi was standing.

  “Use the back door.” Billy commanded with an authority that even Maxi had never heard him use, and oddly she found it really hot.

  Seriously inappropriate. She thought to herself at her reaction.

  For a second the guy looked confused like he thought it might be a trap or something. But, then he turned and hightailed it out of there. He was out the kitchen door, across the lawn and on his motorcycle in a matter of seconds. With his substantial size it was quite an impressive thing to witness.

  “Why didn’t you kick his ass?” Deborah punched against his back. “You’re my son! You’re supposed to protect me!”

  “Goodbye, mom. I love you.” Billy didn’t spare her a look and with the knife still in his hand, he walked calmly towards the door.

  His mom was right behind him shouting obscenities.

  Taking his lead, Maxi pushed open the screen door open and walked as fast as she could to the SUV. Billy didn’t say a word as his mom continued cussing him out. He placed his hand on Maxi’s back and led her to the driver’s side, instructing her to crawl to the passenger seat. Once they both made it safely inside Maxi heard the click of the doors locking. His mom was pulling on the door handle, crying and telling him that she loved him. She begged him to come back inside for just a minute. When he pulled out of the driveway her tears turned to anger once again and she began hurling rocks at them as they drove away.

  Maxi made a living saying the right thing. It was literally her job. But right now she had no words. The only ones that came to mind weren’t ones she could say. “I love you.”

  That’s all she kept thinking. Over and over on a constant loop. “I love you.”

  They hadn’t even made it out of the neighborhood before her phone vibrated. She was tempted to ignore it, even though they were silent she still felt like this was a moment that shouldn’t be interrupted. But since they’d just dropped her dad off she decided she needed to check it. When she pulled it out she saw she’d missed a call from the detective and he’d left her a message. She pressed play and put the phone to her ear.

  “Everything okay?” Concern filled Billy’s voice.

  “It’s Detective Grover. They picked someone else up for the burglary.”

  Without her even asking Billy made a U-turn towards the station. For the second time in less than half an hour she found herself in the position of having no idea what she was walking into, but she was happy that Billy would be by her side, it made her feel like she could face anything.

  Chapter 23

  “At least we’re waiting in a room this time.” Maxi grinned over at Billy.

  He smiled back despite the fact that he didn’t share her view that their location was a silver lining. They’d been at the station for almost two hours. As soon as they arrived they were led back to a small room similar to the one that they’d met with Detective Grover in the last time they’d been called down here.

  It was definitely more comfortable than the waiting room, but there was one big drawback. There was no cell service. That didn’t stop him from checking his phone every five minutes. He knew that each time he looked at his phone none of the little bubbles in the top left corner would be filled in, but he had to admit that every time he picked it up there was moment of hope that he felt right before he confirmed what he already knew. His behavior was what some people would call the definition of insanity. He kept repeating the same action and expecting a different result.

  “Seriously. You can go outside if you need to use the phone. I’m in an interrogation room. In a police station. I’m safe.” Maxi made that same argument that she’d made at least ten times since they sat down.

  He gave the same answer. “No, I’m good.”

  He wasn’t. While he’d been dealing with his mom he’d missed a call from Nate. When he got to the station he’d checked his message, but all that it said was, “Call me.”

  Before he’d had a chance to dial the number, a plainclothes officer told them to follow him and even if this was a police station, Billy wasn’t going to let Maxi out of his sight. So here he was, in the dark. He had no intel on who Grover had picked up or what was going on. He hated it.

  Maxi didn’t seem that thrilled either. Over the past couple of hours she’d graduated to code-red nervousness. All the signs were there. Finger drumming, foot tapping, hair twisting, and his personal favorite lip biting.

  Every time she pulled her full bottom lip between her teeth he forgot, for just a second, where they were and why they were there. He forgot that the only reason they were together, in this moment and for the past two weeks, was because she was in danger. He forgot about the fact that he’d had to take her to his mom’s house where she witnessed Deborah Marshall in all of her drunken glory. He forgot that Maxi wasn’t really his—that they weren’t really together—and that after this was over there was a very good possibility that she might walk away and not look back.

  He forgot about everything except how good that lip felt against his when he was kissing her.

  Releasing her lip she took a deep breath and her eyes fell to her hands that were folded on the table. “Um, I know you probably don’t want to talk about it, but I just wanted to say that I’m sorry about what happened…um, before…at your mom’s.”

  “I’m the one who’s sorry. You should never have had to see that.” He never took people with him when he visited his mom, or in this case, dealt with his mom.

  Not because he was embarrassed, he’d stopped being embarrassed by his mom a long time ago. After the scene she’d caused at the gym when he was a teenager, Charlie had helped him come to the place where he finally truly believed that she wasn’t an extension of him. She was her own person. She made her own decisions. That knowledge allowed him to do the same. Now he didn’t let her behavior manipulate him into doing things he didn’t want to do or would regret later. Some people still might characterize his actions as enabling, but to him he had created boundaries that he didn’t let her
cross.

  When he’d received the text that if he didn’t get over there she’d be calling him from jail because she was going to kill Larry, he knew that he couldn’t ignore it, no matter how badly he’d wanted to. She rarely got violent when she drank, but when she did, bad things happened.

  Billy hated what he’d exposed Maxi to, but if his mom’s threats would’ve been real and he’d ignored the message, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself. This time, thankfully, it seemed like she was just doing it for attention. He knew that was a possibility since she’d played that card before. Still, he’d gone because if it wasn’t just attention seeking behavior she could’ve hurt someone else or herself.

  Reaching across the table, Maxi’s slender fingers covered his. Her clear blue eyes were shining with sincerity. “I’m glad I saw it. I’m glad I was there because the thought of you having to face that alone breaks my heart.”

  Her words hit him square in the chest like a punch from the Hulk. He’d had the wind knocked out of him from falling out of a three story building when he was ten years old, playing pee wee football when he was twelve, and of course in the ring. But he’d never had it happen from just words until now.

  Maxi had no idea of the power of what she’d just said. How could she? He’d never told anyone that growing up he’d never understood why he had to deal with his mom and all the drama she’d brought into their lives. Maxi’s words spoke directly to the scared nine-year-old kid that slept with a baseball bat under his pillow in case he had to defend his mom from some random asshole that she’d brought home. It spoke to the terrified twelve-year-old boy whose hand was shaking so much he dropped the gun—that he’d bought from a friend at school after several rounds with the baseball bat had ended badly—the first time he pointed it at a loser that decided it was a good idea to beat up his mom. Her words spoke to the kid that no one ever saw because he’d always put on a show to the world, that he was tough and nothing hurt him. Nothing scared him. Nothing affected him. She saw him, just like Charlie had in that grocery store. The real him.