Filthy Commitments: A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

by Michelle Love

  With a nod, I said, “Write my name, pee, undress. What’s so hard about that?”

  “You’d be surprised at how many forget one or more steps in that process, young lady.” The nurse patted me on the back. “Get into bed and wait for the doctor after you get that done.”

  So, I headed out to deal with all of that and found myself getting nervous and wishing like hell that they would’ve let Jett come back with me. I got it all taken care of, then went to lie in the uncomfortable hospital bed. The plastic mattress crinkled as I climbed on the bed and pulled the thin blanket up to cover me.

  A man in green scrubs came in after a long time and smiled at me. Extending his hand, he shook mine. “Hi there, Asia Jones. My name is Doctor Sheffield. Can you say that for me?”

  “Doctor Sheffield?” I asked as I had no clue why he’d ask me such a thing.

  “Yes, I wanted you to say it. You’ll want to remember that name.” He let my hand go and patted my back. “You see, I want to be the first person to congratulate you.”

  “On?”

  “On being pregnant. Now, do you get it? You’ll tell your child about the day you found out you had him or her in your tummy. Doctor Sheffield was the person to tell you that great news.” His smile was huge, and his teeth were gleaming white.

  His face would forever be etched into my brain. Thin, lightly tanned skin with a few wrinkles, plum colored lips, blue eyes, and a deep laugh that made his round belly shake made up the man who changed my life forever.

  “I’m pregnant?” I shook my head in disbelief. “I’m on the pill. How can that be?”

  He picked up the folder with my admission paper in it. “It says here that you began oral birth control on June the first of this year.” He looked at me with a grin. “Did you use condoms when you had intercourse during the first thirty days, Miss Jones?”

  “No. I wasn’t told to.” I began to get short of breath.

  “Yes, I see. But you were given paperwork from the pharmacy that you must not have read. That paperwork would’ve told you that you needed to use another form of birth control for that amount of time. By the way, stop taking them. They’re not safe for the baby.”

  “Okay. Damn. I didn’t read it. You’re right. Shit!” My head was swimming.

  I was pregnant!

  His hand clamped down on my shoulder. “Let me tell you something, Miss Jones. Babies have surprised people forever. I know you’re freaking out now. But believe me, you’ll love that little surprise when he or she comes out into the world. Don’t make any hasty decisions. And let the father know. Let him have the chance to do right by this baby. You didn’t make it alone. Don’t make any decisions about it alone, either.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  His finger touched my chin as I stared at the floor. “You’re going to be okay. The vomiting comes with pregnancy. I want you to find yourself a good Obstetrician as soon as you can. Set up an appointment and work with them to make sure you have a healthy pregnancy.”

  “Yes, sir.” I had to lie back. “I just need a minute to digest all of this.”

  “I know. It’s a lot to handle. Stay as long as you need to. But remember that there’s a room full of people who are waiting to be seen too.” He chuckled and waved as he left me. “I wish you the best, young lady.”

  I was going to have Jett’s baby.

  What the hell was I supposed to do now?

  A nurse pulled the curtain back and gave me a huge smile. “Well, well, well, we’re having us a baby. Are you excited?”

  I gulped. “I don’t know.”

  “You and the daddy getting along?”

  “Yeah.” I hung my head. “He loves me. He wants a baby. It was me who had major plans that a baby will interrupt.” I looked up at her. “I don’t want him to ask me to marry him just because I’m pregnant.”

  What was I going to tell Jett?

  Jett

  Inpatient and sick of waiting around, I managed to sneak in through one of the doors when a nurse came out to call in a patient. I was leaning on the wall next to it, hoping for an opportunity.

  Not one member of the medical staff stopped me as I went through first one long hallway with various people moaning, complaining about their pain, or screaming in pain.

  It was like a war zone in there.

  There were curtains drawn around every patient, making it impossible to find Asia in any of the large rooms that housed the ER patients. I was relying on hearing her voice to get me to her.

  Down another hall I went, passing a nurse as she stepped into one of the rooms. I waited on the side of the door to see if I could hear Asia.

  I heard the nurse say, “Well, well, well, we’re having us a baby. Are you excited?”

  I stepped away, knowing she wasn’t talking to Asia.

  Then I stopped dead in my tracks as it was Asia that I heard, saying, “I don’t know.”

  The nurse asked, “You and the daddy getting along?”

  Asia’s voice began to quiver. “Yeah. He loves me. He wants a baby. It was me who had major plans that a baby will interrupt.” She paused then went on, “I don’t want him to ask me to marry him just because I’m pregnant.”

  I fell back against the wall and tried not to scream. I was going to be a father!

  It was exactly what I had wanted, and I was getting it. The only problem was that I had other plans now. I was leaving her. I was doing it for her own good.

  How would leaving her and our baby ever do anyone any good?

  I was left once more, not knowing what the hell I should do. But I sure as hell would let Asia know that I was happy about this baby and would make sure the child always knew it was loved.

  Heading back into the waiting area, I decided I wanted to let Asia tell me the good news. Since she had the diagnosis, it shouldn’t take much longer for her to be released.

  Another half hour had passed before she came out. Knowing she wouldn’t want an audience to hear our news, I waited until we got outside to ask, “So, what’s up?”

  She took out her cell. “I’ve got a virus. I’m calling a cab to come get us.”

  A virus?

  “What kind of virus?” I couldn’t believe she wasn’t telling me news she knew I’d be ecstatic over. “And what kind of virus lasts a month long?”

  “A pretty bad one.” She held up her finger at me as she told the cab company where to pick us up at.

  Pinching the bridge of my nose, I fought myself not to confront her.

  What was she thinking?

  Okay, I got it. She didn’t want me to ask her to marry me just because we got ourselves preggo. I understood that. But I deserved to know about the baby.

  Didn’t I?

  We both were quiet. The cab came, picked us up, took us to the hotel. Still, we were quiet. We went up to our room, got undressed, got into bed. Still, we were quiet.

  I rolled over to look at her. “I love you, Asia.”

  She closed her eyes as she lay on her back. “I love you too, Jett.”

  But did she really?

  How could she say those words to me?

  She wouldn’t admit to being pregnant. So how in the hell could she say she loved me?

  Unless she didn’t.

  Maybe it had all been an act after all.

  Lifting my head, resting it on my hand, I said, “The contract is over, Asia. The wedding is over. That was the last function I needed a fake wife for and the last day of the Dom/sub contract. Being that it’s midnight, you’re officially released as my sub. You can do as you want to now.”

  She didn’t even bother opening her eyes. “All I really want to do is sleep, Jett.”

  All I really wanted was to hear her tell me about our baby!

  “So what did they give you for this virus you have?”

  “Some pills.”

  “Where are these pills?”

  “I have to go pick them up at the pharmacy tomorrow.” She finally opened her eyes to look at me as I hovere
d over her. “What are you doing?”

  “Asia, are you realizing that you’re rich now? You have a home of your own. A new car. And the money that I put in Escrow at The Dungeon of Decorum will be transferred to your bank tomorrow morning.” I watched her eyes as they darted back and forth.

  “Wow. You’re right. I am a rich girl now.”

  “If you were giving me what I wanted just because you were my sub, you can be honest with me now. You’re no longer my sub, Asia.”

  Her eyes went wide as she rolled out of bed and hauled ass to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

  I was left without an answer. But I had a gut feeling it was going to be one that just might break my heart.

  It hit me hard that Asia might not be telling me about the baby because she was thinking about getting rid of it.

  Would I just stand back and allow that to happen?

  I sure as hell wouldn’t let that happen!

  If Asia had been faking all this time, then I could let her go, but I wasn’t about to let go of the baby. She’d be in for a fight if that was her plan. But I really couldn’t see her thinking that way.

  Asia had a good heart. Her morals ran deep. It was me who made her lie. If it hadn’t been for me, she’d never have done one bad thing. No, she couldn’t be thinking about getting rid of our baby.

  But she might be thinking about ending things with me and taking the baby on her own. Would I allow that?

  I didn’t want to. But I didn’t know what to do about any of it.

  How in the hell did so many things come to pass that I had no idea how to handle?

  I wasn’t a stupid man. But damn it, I was feeling pretty fucking stupid. My world was a lie. And I was afraid those lies were about to come crashing down on me.

  Was I helpless to stop it? Could I change it all?

  I had big decisions to make and not a lot of time to do that in. Getting up, I went to the bathroom door. The water was running in the bathtub. Then it went off and I heard Asia, “Little baby, I want you to know that I love you and I love your daddy too. But we’ve made up something and that lie is looming over us like a deadly shadow. If things were different, I’d be celebrating your creation with your daddy. But things are hard right now. Harder than I hope you ever have to live through. I know if I tell your daddy about you, he’ll ask me to marry him. And I want to marry him. Just not over being pregnant. But there’s also the fact that the lies will always hang over us if we stay together. Baby, I don’t know what we can do to fix it all. But no matter what we do, always know that we both love you.”

  Falling against the wall, I held my head in my hands. I knew what I had to do. I had to make things right. Not only for myself and Asia, but for our baby too.

  So I put my clothes on, and left.

  Asia

  After a long bath that did little to ease my mind, I went into the bedroom. The blankets were thrown back, the light was on, and Jett was nowhere to be found.

  My heart began to race as I searched frantically for him, calling out his name over and over. I even opened the door and shouted down the hallway.

  But he wasn’t there.

  He was gone!

  And I was all alone.

  Shaking, I went to get my cell and called him. His phone was off, it went straight to voicemail. I sat on the bed and searched my mind for what we’d said to each other that would have him leaving me.

  Then it hit me.

  The contract was over!

  He left me because it was over. He’d been acting the entire time.

  But why?

  He didn’t have to pull some act on me. Or was that something he just did? Did Jett Simmons hire subs to play out some weird fantasy love story with him, then leave them?

  Had it all been a lie?

  One lie on top of another one. And I was left with a baby inside me that belonged to a man who had it in him to do such a heinous thing.

  Jett could’ve been honest with me. He could’ve told me that was what his fantasy was. I’d have played along.

  But I would’ve guarded my heart all the while. I bet he counted on that happening. I bet that’s why he didn’t tell me what his real fantasy was. He wanted a fake wife to avoid being set up. He wanted a sub to do it so he could live out a love fantasy. But it was all over now.

  I was a thing of the past he could move on from.

  My heart hurt like it would never mend. I laid on the bed as it all soaked in. It wasn’t in Jett, to be honest. I knew that then. It had all been a fantasy to him. Never real, never lasting, never going to have my happy ending.

  Left with a baby, a constant reminder of how I was duped, I’d live in the house he gave me, drive the car he bought for me, and live off the money he paid for me.

  It was my own fault. I sold myself to the man for the period of three months. I signed a contract that said it would all end with no arguments what-so-ever. Jett was within his rights to leave me alone without one word.

  But I wasn’t prepared for that at all. And I’d fucked up by not letting him know that I had his child inside of me. No matter what he actually felt about me, he might love the baby we created together.

  He had a right to know. But I was bound by that contract not to attempt to contact him once it was over. I could lose the money that would be moved to my bank account the next day if I did that.

  I needed money then. I had a baby coming. I couldn’t afford to bother him with some news about a baby. I was supposed to be on birth control. I was pretty fucking sure that getting pregnant could be grounds for the money to be taken away from me.

  I was going to be alone to have the baby, but I’d have what I’d earned. I gave that man more of me than I knew I could. I earned everything I got from him. Every last thing and every last cent.

  Tears burst from my eyes as my body ached. I’d never feel his weight on me again. I’d never feel his warm breath as it tickled the back of my neck as I woke up each morning. The soft way he’d caress my body was over.

  I’d never love anyone the way I loved him. If I could ever bring myself to fall in love again. A thing I didn’t think I could do. It just fucking hurt so badly.

  Sobbing into my pillow, I just wanted to leave the hotel and go home. Home to my family, not home to where I’d only see Jett in every corner. How was I going to live in that home?

  How was I going to drive a car that reminded me of him? How was I going to look at a child that always reminded me of him? The man I once loved with more than I knew I had in me?

  I was doomed.

  Destroyed.

  And desperately trying to hang onto my sanity.

  Sleep wouldn’t find me, I was sure of that. I’d be left awake in my torment. No peace would find me that night or ever. I was sure of that.

  But eventually, the tears slowed and exhaustion took me over. Darkness came in at me from all sides, and I slept. Even in my sleep, dread filled my dreams.

  Would I ever be the same again?

  When morning light penetrated the window, I opened my eyes. Immediately, I looked to see if Jett had come back. All I found was the empty bed, and I’d wrapped my body around his pillow.

  My stomach lurched, right on cue, sending me to the bathroom at breakneck speed. Once I stopped puking, I began to cry.

  He was really gone!

  It was really over, and I was really pregnant and all alone.

  All I wanted to do was climb back into the bed, pull the blankets over my head, and go back to sleep. My dreams weren’t peaceful or happy. But they weren’t real, and even in my sleep, I knew that.

  I was in reality. A place where it hurt me to be.

  Slumping back to bed, I heard a knock on my door, and a piece of paper slid under it. The bill, I guessed.

  I climbed back into bed and closed my burning swollen eyes. But the damn paper was nagging me to pick it up and see what it was. Getting up, I went to pick it up.

  There was a message that had been left at the front d
esk by my parents. It said I needed to get up this morning and come to their house before I did anything else.

  I bet they had some kind of a surprise for Jett and me. Well, it would be me who would surprise them with the news that Jett and I were through. And I had nothing ready to tell them about why that was.

  I didn’t want to go back to Harrison and face that huge empty house. And I didn’t want to stay in the hotel Jett had left me in. Might as well go home, tell my parents he left me and I wasn’t sure why. Must’ve been for another woman or something. But that I had a home, a car, and money. But I’d need to stay with them for a little while. Just until I got over it.

  Somewhere in there, I’d have to add the part that I was now pregnant. Soon to be a single mother. But at least I had the means to take care of the baby. Going back to school would be out. I doubted my head would be right in two weeks anyway.

  Gathering myself, I got ready to go to Queens to see my parents. Jett and I had only packed clothes for the next day. His were gone, he’d obviously put them on when he decided to leave me. But his tux was still there.

  I folded it neatly and put it in the bag with the dress I’d worn to the wedding. It was then that I wondered if his closet would still be full of this things when I went back home. Would his car still be in the garage? Would his favorite coffee cup still be in the kitchen? His toiletries in the bathroom?

  Maybe he’d get the maid to gather his things and send them to him in Los Angeles. I’m sure he was going to go back there. Then my heart began to ache for his poor parents. He’d also duped his father, although I’m sure that was inadvertent, into thinking he’d be taking over his CEO job.

  I knew I couldn’t go to his parents and tell them about the baby, either. I had to leave them alone, per the contract, to avoid any contact with the Dom’s family and friends after said contract was over.

  Man, they’d love knowing about the baby, though. It didn’t seem fair not to tell them about it. But I might have to give everything back if I did that.

  My hands were tied. I had to follow the contract. Not for my sake but for the little guy who was living inside of me. The kid deserved at least some of what his father provided. I’d make sure to learn how to take care of the money he’d given me. I’d make it last, invest it, make it grow. I’d do it for our baby.