Filthy Commitments: A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

by Michelle Love

  “Has Parker given you an update?” Asia asked him, her eyes wide.

  Grady shook his head. “Not yet.”

  Ran cleared his throat. “The police say her injuries were life-threatening. The cold may have slowed her heart down so that she didn’t lose as much blood, but still. It’s touch and go.”

  Marley gave a little sob, no longer able to hold it in. Ran wrapped his arms around her and let her cry. Asia glanced at them sympathetically but not knowing what to say.

  “Where the hell is Jakob?” Skandar, who had been in shock for days now, and had not let Hayley out of sight for long, glanced at his watch. “His plane got in a couple of hours ago.”

  “I’ll call him.” Joel got up and went out into the corridor to use his phone. Nan went with him.”

  All them sat in silence for a few minutes. Hayley, exhausted, burrowed into Skandar’s arms, and he pressed his lips to her temple, his own eyes full of sadness and fatigue.

  Asia got up as her boyfriend, Parker, came in, still in his scrubs. He looked grim-faced, and Marley felt Ran’s arms tightened around her.

  “We’ve managed to stop the bleeding,” Parker said, “but she’s very, very sick. I wish I could give you better news, but it is a waiting game now. The knife nicked her abdominal artery, and it was leaking, but we’ve managed to stabilize it, for now. She just needs time now for her body to do its job and heal.”

  “Can we see her?”

  “She’s in recovery, and I wouldn’t advise too many of you go in. She might get overwhelmed if she wakes up. For now, I think Jakob … and Marley?”

  “Jakob’s not here yet,” Marley said, a hint of annoyance creeping into her voice.

  “I’ll go in with you,” said Hayley quietly. “I need to see her.”

  Just before Marley pushed open the door to Quilla’s room, she balked. Hayley looked at her with surprise, then, understanding. She linked her fingers with Marley’s. “Together.” Marley nodded, and they went in.

  Quilla was, as expected, surrounded by machinery, wires, and tubes all over her body, the hiss and click of the breathing equipment the only sound in the room. Quilla was paler than pale, her usually honey-colored skin wan and tinged with yellow. There were dark purple bruises on her skin, cuts and welts; her abdomen was heavily bandaged, blood seeping through in some places.

  “God.” Marley felt her legs give way, and Hayley hurriedly steered her into a chair. She went to Quilla’s head and stroked the matted hair away from her face.

  “I love you,” she whispered and kissed her friend’s forehead. Marley watched the young blonde woman, a growing fondness inside her. Whatever Quilla and Hayley had been through had forged a bond as unbreakable as her own with Quilla.

  Quilla, deeply unconscious, was so still, Marley and Hayley could only watch the rise and fall of her chest as the machine breathed for her. They each took a seat either side of her and took one of her small, cold hands in their own.

  Marley didn’t know how long they sat there, but she glanced over at Hayley and was appalled to see tears pouring down the younger woman’s face. “Hayley ...”

  “I keep watching her chest go up and down and thinking that the next time, it won’t move. That she’ll just go, and we won’t get to say goodbye.”

  “Oh, sweetheart ...”

  Marley could not think of anything else to say to comfort her friend. She glanced at her watch and wondered again: Where the hell is Jakob?

  Joel had not been able to get hold of his brother on the phone, but he’d called the airline. “He definitely got to SeaTac, and he definitely got off the plane.”

  None of them knew what to do next. Ran rubbed his hands over his face. “Look, why don’t you all go home? I’ll wait for Jakob and the girls, but there’s obviously not much you can do here.”

  Grady nodded. “Asia, why don’t you come back with us?” Flori nodded and took Asia’s hand.

  “Yes, do come, you need looking after.”

  The men looked confused. “I’ll explain another time.” Asia waved away their questions. “I will, thank you both.”

  Joel and Nan followed the others out, but Skandar shook his head. “I’m not leaving Hayley.”

  Ran smiled at his grandson. “Well, then, I’m grateful for the company.”

  It was another hour before Hayley came to find them. She looked red-eyed and upset. “They’re checking her at the moment, asked us to step out. Marley’s gone to find more coffee.” She smiled at Ran. “You might have to go home without the missus tonight.”

  Both Ran and Skandar looked up. Ran, a slight flush on his face, grinned. “She told you?”

  “She did, and we’re all very happy for you,” Hayley grinned at Skandar’s surprise, “those of us who know. You have a new step-Nana, Skan.”

  Skandar actually smiled for the first time in weeks and congratulated his grandfather, who nodded gratefully. “Well, look, you two should go home and get some rest. I ...”

  He stopped as someone knocked and FBI Agent Carter James stepped into the room. “Hey, folks. How’s Quilla?”

  Hayley made a face. “Not out of the woods, yet.”

  “Sorry to hear that. Ran, could we speak privately for a second?”

  Randall followed the agent out into the hallway. He looked grim-faced and awkward. “Ran, there’s no easy way to tell you this … Jakob’s been arrested.”

  Ran felt like a sledgehammer had slammed into his chest. “What the hell for?”

  Carter blew out his cheeks. “He was trying to buy cocaine. The trouble was, we were in the middle of a sting and Jakob was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Look, the arresting officer knows of your family and the case but says his hands are tied. Jakob’s at the county lockup. He’ll be arraigned in the morning; I’m pretty confident bail will be set.”

  “Charges?”

  “Probably possession. Look, I’m sorry. I haven’t seen him, but I guess he’s pretty messed up about Quilla, which is why he spiraled down. I’ll let you know where he’s been taken.”

  Ran went back into the relative’s room and told Skandar and Hayley what had happened. Skandar cursed and shook his head, furious, but Hayley put her arm around his waist. “Skan … if I was Quilla, what would you feel like right now?”

  Skandar’s jaw clenched, a nerve flickering in his cheek. “Yeah, okay,” he muttered eventually. Hayley kissed him. Ran sighed.

  “Go home, the both of you, get some sleep. When Agent James comes back, I’ll go see Jakob.”

  Quilla slid back into consciousness but didn’t open her eyes for a moment. She could tell the hand holding hers wasn’t Jakob’s—it was too small, but it was familiar. Marley.

  She opened her eyes to see a darkened room and her oldest friend, her head laid on the bed, turned towards her, her eyes closed. Quilla tried to smile but the tube in her throat was so bulky, she couldn’t. Her throat was scratchy and a terrible thirst raging inside her.

  And the pain … God … the lightheadedness she felt she knew was from morphine, but it wasn’t touching the burning ache in her belly.

  She squeezed the hand that held hers, and Marley sat up instantly, blinking her eyes. “Quills?”

  Quilla tried to nod her head, and Marley burst into tears, smiling through them. “Oh God, honey … welcome back.”

  She tried to hug her but with all the wires and tubes, it was difficult. Quilla couldn’t speak but pointed to her throat. Marley understood. “I’ll go get a nurse, darling, hold on.”

  Alone, she listened to the silence being broken by the machines keeping her alive. She tried to move any part of her body, but everything screamed in pain. At least she could move her arms, write things down, like …

  Where the hell is Jakob?

  Her husband, locked in a cell, had his head in his hands. This is the lowest you’ve ever been, Mallory, he told himself. In a strange way, he was glad he hadn’t had the chance to take the coke—that would have been infinitely worse than this. Still �
� he felt incredibly guilty—he should be with Quilla right now. How was he going to explain this to her, to his family, when he didn’t have an answer for himself?

  “Jakob?”

  Carter James looked at him, and Jakob could see the empathy in his eyes. It didn’t help. Jakob got up and went to the door. “How are you doing?”

  Jakob shrugged. “Okay. It was a dumb, stupid thing to do.”

  Carter nodded, gave him a half smile. “Yeah, it was. Look, your dad’s on his way—no, don’t worry, Quilla’s doing not great, but okay—but your dad wants to see you. You’ll be arraigned in the morning, and I’ll be putting in a report to the judge. Bail should be set, and under the circumstances, I think you’ll be out pretty soon after that. What possessed you?”

  Jakob sighed. “Stupidity. Wanting to escape. Not having to face the fact my wife is dying.”

  “She’s not dying,” Carter interrupted him. “Quilla is in a bad way, yes, but she’s not dying. Parker Thomas thinks she’ll pull through, although it won’t be easy. But I think deep down you know that … Jakob, this is to do with that video tape, isn’t it?”

  Jakob felt a wave of sorrow, of guilt, of hurt flood through his body. “I can’t stop thinking about it; it’s consuming me.”

  The door opened behind Carter and Ran walked in, his expression neutral, his eyes tired. Carter shook his hand, and then turned back to Jakob. “Talk to your dad. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Alone, Jakob couldn’t meet his dad’s gaze. “Dad, I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

  Ran hesitated before he spoke. “Jakob, I love you, so this is not going to be easy for me to say. I don’t think I’ve ever been more … ashamed … than I am right now. In you, in myself.”

  His words battered and bruised Jakob’s fragile heart, but he nodded. “That’s fair. But the fault is mine, Dad; you have nothing to be ashamed of.”

  “I thought I had brought you up better than to run away from things and be that guy who would rather stick his head in the sand and let other people carry the load. Quilla was stabbed fourteen times, by Gregor, fifteen, if you count the first time. She had to kill him, take another human being’s life, and still, she tried to make her way back to you. She had to turn over her body to him to save Hayley’s life, and she did it. She deserves more than this, Jakob, and if you cannot provide that for her, then let her go. But know this; Quilla is my daughter, and if you turn away from her, then you are no longer welcome in this family. That’s all I have to say. I’ll see you in the morning; I have to get back to my family at the hospital.”

  Jakob wanted to scream, wanted to beg him for forgiveness. Ran, always mild-mannered, had never spoken to him, or anyone, like he just had to his eldest son. He watched his father, his hands trembling, grip the door handle to leave.

  “Dad ...”

  Ran turned back, and he could see the tears in his eyes. Pain ripped through Jakob at the sight. “I’m sorry, Dad.”

  “I’m not the one you should be saying that to. When the bail is posted tomorrow, I’ve booked you into rehab. Just a week. You’re not permitted to see or talk to Quilla before that week is completed.”

  Jakob was up now, panic starting. “Dad, I didn’t take it. I’m not addicted, please. I have to see her.”

  Ran gripped the door handle tighter, closing his eyes, the turmoil inside him obvious. “You should have thought of that when you got off that plane.” Then he was gone, Jakob staring after him.

  Parker Thomas, his cornflower blue eyes crinkling as he smiled, stroked Quilla’s head. “Now, I’m going to ask you to give a big cough, then I’ll take the tube out … after three, sweetheart. One … two … three ...”

  Quilla coughed, then gagged as Parker pulled the tube out. The nurse with him, Julia, passed her a cup of water. “Don’t gulp it, sweetie, just sips.”

  Quilla did as she was told, the water giving blessed relief to her throat. She was still laid back on her pillows, but at least she was halfway to sitting up. It had been a day and a half since she’d woken and according to the smile on Parker’s face, she was doing well. Now that the tube was out, she could suck in lungfuls of air herself and start to feel alive. Marley and Asia were at the other end of the room watching and smiling. At last, Quilla gave them a wave. Marley was smiling through her tears, leaning against Asia for support.

  Quilla felt a wave of gratitude come over her and she caught Parker’s arm. “Thank you,” she croaked, her throat still scratchy. He grinned—damn, he was so handsome.

  She told Asia that when he and the nurse had gone, and Asia laughed. “You’re not falling for your doctor, are you? That old cliché?”

  Quilla smiled, and then looked at Marley, who was wiping her eyes on her sleeve. “Dude, stop that, I’m okay.”

  Marley tried to smile. “I’m sorry, honey. I think the floodgates have opened.”

  The three women chatted lightly, then Quilla steeled herself. “Okay, you wouldn’t tell me anything about why Jakob wasn’t here, so I need to know, because it’s driving me crazy. Come on.”

  She noticed the anger in her own voice and saw they hadn’t missed it, either. “I’m not mad at you,” she said softly. “I don’t know who I’m mad at.”

  Asia and Marley shared a long look, then Asia nodded. “Jakob’s in rehab, darling. When he thought you were dying, he flipped out and tried to buy coke. Luckily—if you can call it that—he was arrested before he could actually take the stuff. He’s been bailed, but Ran sent him to rehab for the week. Banned him from coming here.”

  Quilla frowned. “I don’t get why … surely the fact that I was back was a good thing, even in the state I was in … I don’t understand. What aren’t you telling me?”

  Another loaded glance between her friends. “Quilla … when Hayley was released, she told us everything that you had done, what you had sacrificed for her.”

  Panic was starting to build inside Quilla’s chest. “But, surely, Jakob knew I had to do it; I had to sleep with Gregor, or he’d kill both Hayley and me?”

  “It’s not just that,” Marley said gently. “Gregor videotaped you having sex.”

  Quilla’s stomach dropped. “What?” Barely a whisper.

  “Hayley explained that Gregor had made you … act the part. It was one of those times that he taped—and sent to Jakob.”

  “Oh no, no, no …” Quilla’s head was in her hands, and Marley shot Asia a concerned look. Asia nodded and slipped from the room to find Parker. Marley got her arms around Quilla.

  Her body was trembling violently. “I had to do it. He was going to kill her,” Quilla sobbed. “So I pretended I was somebody else, that it wasn’t me he was raping. And he was raping me, Marley, how can Jakob think I would have slept with that … monster … voluntarily? He was going to shoot Hayley in the head unless I did it. He only let her go because I did such a convincing job. I only escaped him because he’d started to trust me enough to fuck him without being tied down. So, what, Jakob thinks I’m unclean now? How could he?”

  Her voice was getting louder, more hysterical, her entire body in motion, and Marley had to fight to keep her from tearing her stitches, hurting herself. Quilla’s eyes were wild—fear, anger, hurt and Marley cursed Jakob Mallory and Gregor Fisk over and over.

  Parker came in and took one look at Quilla and muttered an instruction to his assistant. Marley got out of the way as Parker tried to calm Quilla down from her panic attack, his tone steady and soothing. When the assistant came back, Parker took the hypodermic needle from her and slipped it into Quilla’s IV. Her breathing slowly returned to normal and in a few minutes, her eyes closed. After checking her vitals, he beckoned Asia and Marley from the room.

  “She can’t get overexcited like that. Her core muscles have been ravaged. Any hysteria risks tearing, which means infection might get in.”

  Asia put her hand on her boyfriend’s arm. “Sorry, Parker, but she asked about Jakob.”

  “I should have waited
to tell her,” Marley fretted, “or fudged the truth.”

  Parker sighed. “I think she’ll be okay, but yeah, soften the blows, would you?” He smiled kindly at Marley. “Kiddo, if we keep her calm, she has a chance of a quicker recovery. Whatever bullshit Jakob is dealing with, Quilla’s health is the main concern.”

  Marley smiled gratefully, comforted that Parker wasn’t impressed with Jakob either. She felt like she had an ally in the surgeon. “Thanks, Parker. For everything. For keeping her here with us.”

  “My pleasure. Look, why don’t you go home, get some rest? I gave her a pretty strong sedative so she’ll be out for a few hours. And you,” he kissed Asia’s cheek, “you go back to Grady’s and look after yourself and Bean.”

  “We’re not calling him or her Bean.”

  “Yeah, we are.” Parker grinned and waved as he left them. Marley said goodbye to Asia and drove home, acknowledging to herself that she was shattered. She wanted to sit and howl, then sleep for hours and hours.

  Ran, not looking much better himself, met her at the door. Marley sank into his arms. “God, take me to bed, please. I need to feel good again.”

  He chuckled. “How about a long soak first, candles, a back massage, the whole nine yards?”

  Marley smiled up at him. “You really are perfect; you know that?”

  In the tub, his hands moved over her body, gripping the tight muscles in her shoulders, his thumbs pressing firmly into the sore flesh. Marley groaned. “That’s so good.”

  Ran kissed her neck. “Better?”

  She leaned back against his chest. “So much.” She sighed. “Did you speak to Jakob today?”

  “I did. He’s doing well, working hard.”

  Marley didn’t say anything and Ran pressed his lips to her temple. “Give him a chance, Marley.”

  She sighed, turning around to face him. “Ran, I love you, but I think I’ve given that man plenty of chances. Because of him, Quilla has been raped, stabbed, and abducted … been subject to the worst a human can do to another. And now, added to that, she had to kill another human being. Where was Jakob? And when he needed to step up, his pathetic male ego made him run away. Again.”