Filthy Commitments: A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

by Michelle Love

  Ran flinched at her words. “Marley, he’s made mistakes.”

  She relented. “I know he’s your son, Ran, and you love him. But even you must see; he’s terrible for Quilla.”

  “I think we need to see how Quilla feels.”

  Marley looked away from her husband’s gaze. “Yes.”

  Ran stroked her face. “Don’t let this come between us, sweetheart. We should be in our blissful honeymoon phase. Speaking of which, when Quilla is recovered, I’m taking you away for an actual honeymoon.”

  Marley tried to smile. “Sounds good.”

  Ran sighed, and then held out his arms. “Come here, beautiful.” She went into them, and he kissed her. Marley closed her eyes, letting the sensation of his lips against hers consume her. For Ran, she would try to accept Jakob; for Ran and Quilla, she would try.

  Seven days. Seven days he had turned up for any and every counseling sessions, group meeting, had helped out in the kitchens … everything, and now, as Jakob waited for his dad to come pick him up, he felt optimistic for the first time in days, hell, months. Ran had called him every evening with updates on Quilla’s condition; still a long way to go, but every day she got stronger. Of course she is, he thought now, his heart full of love. She’s a fighter. She always has been.

  He couldn’t wait to see her, take her in his arms, and beg for her forgiveness. He would spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to her, not that it was possible. God, what had I been thinking? He shook his head now, then looked up as his father came into the room.

  Ran nodded, but Jakob could see in his eyes, the pride, the thankfulness that Jakob had done so well here. He hugged his father. “I’m so sorry, Dad.”

  Ran embraced his eldest son. “I’m proud of you, son. Let’s go and see Quilla.”

  Jakob’s heart was thumping as they rode the elevator to Quilla’s floor. Ran had told him that she was recovering, but he still was nervous about seeing her so hurt, so brutalized. Ran warned him not to get too physical; Quilla’s wounds were still healing, and she was still in a lot of pain.

  They walked along the corridor to her room, and as they reached it, Marley came out, shutting the door behind her and blocking it. She glanced at Ran with apologetic eyes, then looked at Jakob, her eyes cold. Jakob’s heartbeat quickened.

  “Hi, Marley.”

  “Jakob. She doesn’t want to see you. I’m sorry.” She didn’t sound sorry at all. Ran shot her a sharp look.

  “Marley? What’s going on?”

  Marley’s expression was soft as she looked at her husband. “I’m sorry, Ran, but Quilla doesn’t want to see Jakob.”

  “Why?”

  “I think you need to ask Jakob that.”

  Jakob stared at her in horror. “No … no, please, I need to see her. I need to explain.”

  Marley fixed her gaze on him. “Jakob, Quilla does not want to see you. She does not want to talk to you. She doesn’t need you to explain your behavior. It’s pretty clear, and her decision is final.”

  Ran sighed. “Come on now, Marley.”

  “I’m sorry, baby,” she said to him, “but it’s Quilla’s choice.”

  “Bullshit,” Jakob exploded. “It’s not Quilla, it’s you. This is what you’ve always wanted, isn’t it? Me out of the picture?”

  “This is the result of your actions, Jakob.”

  “Quilla! Quilla, please, I need to talk to you!” Jakob was yelling now. He stepped forward and Marley moved, immediately bracing herself against the door jam. For a moment, it looked like Jakob would simply shove her out of the way and everyone froze, Marley and Jakob staring each other down. Then Ran, his face pale, stepped between them.

  “Jakob, back off. Marley … is this really Quilla’s final decision?”

  She nodded. “It is.”

  Ran put his hand on his son’s shoulder. “Come on, Jakob. Let’s go.”

  Jakob, seething, stared at Marley a beat longer then stalked off. Ran looked at Marley. “Will I see you at home?”

  “Of course.” Her face softened. “I’m sorry about this, Ran.”

  He kissed her forehead. “It’s okay … do you want me to come pick you up?”

  She shook her head. “I’ll get a cab; it’s okay.”

  Jakob was pacing around the parking lot when Ran found him. Jakob opened his mouth to speak, but Ran held up a hand. “Before you say something you regret,” he said firmly, “just remember … Marley is my wife, and I love her very much.”

  Jakob shook his head. “Dad, she’s never liked me, and if this is her dripping poison into Quilla’s ear ...”

  “Stop it,” his father’s voice was sharp. “Quilla had every right not see you, after what you did. Do you not understand that? You made a decision, Jakob, and these are the consequences. That girl has been through enough, and I can’t say I blame her for this. In any way. Marley didn’t say forever, just not yet. Respect that.”

  Jakob had no answer for that. His shoulders slumped, and he rubbed a frustrated hand over his head. “I want to go home.”

  At the empty apartment, Jakob showered, then poured himself a large drink and sat out on the balcony, even though the night was bitterly cold. He felt he needed the cool air to calm the hot, angry blood that flowed through him. He went through his arguments in his head: Marley had persuaded Quilla to ignore him; Quilla was being unreasonable; Quilla was being petty. But he knew, inside, that none of that was true.

  It was him. He needed to step up now and prove to Quilla that he was worthy of her. Jakob stared into the Seattle night, looking over to the Space Needle. The Seattle Center was dressed for Christmas; thousands upon thousands of twinkle lights. He couldn’t imagine Christmas without Quilla in his arms, in their home, in their bed.

  He would do anything to get her back … anything. Even if that meant backing off until he could prove to her finally, that he was deserving of her love.

  “You’re cheating.”

  “Am not.”

  “You are. You’re picking from the discarded cards.”

  Quilla grinned at Hayley. “Man, you’re a bad loser.”

  Hayley gave up and scrambled the cards up. “I’m so bored of this game.”

  “Me, too.”

  Hayley packed the cards into their box. “So, Parker said you could be discharged soon?”

  “He called from New Orleans yesterday and spoke to my doctor. Maybe another couple of weeks, less if I’m lucky. Thank God. My muscles are starting to atrophy. Here, help me up, would you? I need to walk around for a bit.”

  Hayley helped Quilla onto the floor, steadying her when she swayed. Quilla had been in the hospital for a month now and had made remarkable progress—at least, physically. Hayley knew her friend was fragile mentally; although Quilla tried to hide her red eyes and the dark shadows under her eyes, Hayley worried that she would break soon. It gave her hope though that Quilla was seeing the psychiatrist again, had requested him herself. Christmas had been the hardest but they’d all come in to see her—separately, so Jakob’s absence wouldn’t be so obvious. Hayley and Skandar had spent most of Christmas Day with their friend, talking wedding plans until Skandar rolled his eyes and pretended to call the whole thing off. “One more mention of fabric and I’m outta here.”

  They walked out into the corridor, Hayley supporting her friend as they took their usual route to the elevators and outside—almost outside— January had brought with it deep snow, and so they settled for the long corridor near the big glass window at the front of the hospital.

  “So, how’s the wedding planning going? Skandar forced you to finalize a date yet?”

  Hayley laughed. “Ha, you jest. Nope, despite teasing Skandar, the only thing I have locked down is that Nan will walk me down the aisle. My next job is to ask my maid of honor if she’ll be so kind to stand up with me. So, will you?”

  Quilla gave her a delighted but shocked laugh. “Hell, yes! My God, Hayley, I would never have expected ...” she turned away, but Hayley saw
the tears in her eyes and squeezed her. Quilla chuckled, dashing away the tears. “I’m so honored, Hayley, truly but don’t you have friends you’ve known longer than me? I know you do.”

  Hayley smiled, shrugging. “They’ll be my bridesmaids. And listen, I talked to them, and they agree with me. It’s the least I could do after what you did ...” She choked up but rallied, forcing a grin onto her face. “There’s no one I’d rather have, Quilla. No one.”

  Quilla chuckled. “That means so much, Hays, it really does. So, a double-double meringue for you, then?”

  Hayley nodded. “And all of you in salmon taffeta, 80s style.”

  They both laughed, Quilla putting her hand on her stomach. “Laughing still hurts, huh?” Hayley said, noticing the gesture.

  “Force of habit by now. The pain is definitely manageable.”

  They walked some more, then Hayley spoke again. “Quills … have you thought where you’ll go when you leave the hospital?”

  Quilla nodded. “Grady and Flori have offered me their guest room for as long as I need to find a place.”

  Hayley sighed. “Good, because I had visions of you renting some tiny apartment on your own.”

  Quilla smiled gratefully at her young friend. “You are so like your sister, sometimes.”

  “Thankfully, neither of us is like our mother, though.,” Hayley rolled her eyes.

  “I hear ya.” Quilla sighed. “I’m going to have to find a new job, though, if I want to get an apartment of my own.”

  Hayley was confused, and then her heart sank. “So, there’s really no chance of you and Jakob …?” Hayley felt tears threatening. She so wanted the couple to find each other again. “He’s been doing really well, Quills, and he’s respected your wishes about staying away. He’s working on the foundation project with Flori and Grady.”

  Quilla was surprised. The foundation had been her and Grady’s brainchild, an arts foundation that would help low-income artists fulfill their dreams of a college degree and mentoring in the art world. She had been talking to Grady about it the day she and Hayley had been abducted.

  “Really? It was just a vague idea, last time I was involved.”

  “Grady told Jakob about it, and Jakob swung into action. I’ve helped out too, in between classes and coming here.”

  Quilla smiled at her gratefully. “Skandar must hate me, stealing so much of your time.”

  “Are you kidding me? Skandar hero-worships you – or ‘she-ro’ worships you, ha, ha—I think if we both went full lesbian on each other, he’d cheer us on. He keeps talking about what he can do for you.”

  “Just keep being him, and always look after you, love you, treat you like a goddess and we’re good,” Quilla grinned. She drew in a long breath. “Lord, I think I need to go back to bed now.”

  Hayley helped her to the elevator and got her settled back in bed. Quilla smiled wryly. “I get puffed walking, but as soon as I get back in this damn bed again, I want out.”

  In an hour, Quilla was asleep, and Hayley kissed her forehead and crept silently from the room. Driving home, she thought about Quilla and Jakob, wishing that she could think of a way to bring them back together.

  When she got home, she met Skandar, returning from practice, in their driveway. Now that Gregor Fisk was dead, they had been able to shed a few layers of protection, although Skandar had insisted on Hayley’s security guards being in place whenever she went out in public. She wouldn’t admit it, but she was grateful for it, and they were so discreet, she hardly noticed they were there.

  Skandar, his skin tawny from playing outside in India over New Year’s, grinned at her. His skin was covered in a fine layer of dewy sweat, his blonde hair sticking up each and every way.

  “Wanna help me shower?” He grinned, and she laughed.

  “Why, yes, I do.”

  In the shower, he kissed her as the cool water ran over their bodies, and she pressed her breasts into his chest. “God, I love you, Skandar Mallory.”

  He picked her up and stepped out of the shower, lowering her to the tile. Grinning, Hayley wrapped her legs around his hips, reaching between his thighs to stroke his hardening cock and Skandar spread her labia with his long fingers, the crest of his cock nudging at her entrance as he fingered her clit. With one long thrust, he took her and Hayley moaned with pleasure as his huge cock filled her, the friction on the sensitive nerve endings of her vagina utter, utter bliss. She never wanted this feeling to end, and she looked up at the glorious, wonderful man above her and felt such an overwhelming love for him, which tears sprang from her eyes. Skandar grinned, knowing they were tears of joy, kissed them away, and gathered her to him as they fucked.

  Afterward, they ordered take-out and sat on the couch in their robes, idly flicking through the TV channels. “I wish I could think of some way to bring Quills and Jakob back together,” she told him, but Skandar shook his head.

  “Not yet, Hays. If it gets to a critical level, then maybe we need a rethink. But at the moment, don’t get in between them. Quilla needs her space, and Jakob is giving it to her. Believe it or not, that’s a good thing just now.”

  Hayley wasn’t convinced. “How can it be? They need to be talking this shit out.”

  “And maybe they will, but us interfering will not help. Just leave it, boo.”

  Marley was working late again. It had been a long week, but now she was looking forward to going home and enjoying a weekend with Ran. She flicked off the lights in the lab she was working in and walked slowly back to her car, half reading some notes she had just completed. When he spoke, she jumped violently.

  “Hey, Marley.”

  Jakob. “Shit, Jakob, you scared me half to death,” Marley put a hand on her chest, breathing deeply.

  “Sorry.” He grinned sheepishly. He was dressed casually in jeans and a T-shirt and looked healthier than he had for months. “Come to think of it, I shouldn’t really be skulking around a parking lot, but I was trying to get up the courage to talk to you. Sorry if I scared you; I didn’t mean to.”

  Marley shot him an annoyed look, then laughed softly. “Don’t worry about it. Look, why don’t we go grab a quick drink and talk. But, Jakob, I warn you, I won’t try and persuade Quilla of anything she’s not ready to do.”

  “That’s fair.”

  They went to a small bar on 7th. Both of them were driving, so it was soda for Jakob, sparkling water for Marley.

  “How’s my pops?” Jakob asked, obviously nervous. Marley smiled to herself.

  “He’s great, thank you.”

  “You make him happy, you know? I like that.”

  Okay … “Jakob, why don’t you just tell me what you need?” Marley took a long sip of water and waited.

  Jakob fidgeted nervously. “Obviously, I wanted to talk about Quilla, but don’t worry; I just need your advice.”

  Marley nodded. “Go on.”

  Jakob sighed. “I love her, and I miss her every day, but I know I messed up. I know what I have to prove.”

  “Sometimes, Jakob, people just need some time apart to see things clearly.”

  “I know, and believe it or not, this separation has been good for me, too. Cleared my head. Shown me what I want.”

  “Which is?”

  “Quilla. I want to make a home with her, have kids, dogs, cats, pet snakes, even. I want to work hard at my job; I want Quilla to achieve the success she deserves in her work. I’ll be a stay-at-home dad, if she wants, no problem. Anything.”

  Marley studied him. “Why do I feel there’s a ‘but’ coming?”

  Jakob grinned sheepishly. “But I don’t know how to prove all that to Quilla. At the moment, it's just words and I wouldn’t blame Quilla for never trusting me again. I didn’t protect her—it was my actions, albeit twenty- odd years ago—that kickstarted Gregor’s psychosis. I cheated with Padme, then left her to Gregor’s mercy.”

  “I know all this and yet you’re here, asking for my help.”

  “No, not your help, that�
��s the thing. I know this has to be all me. Your advice would be welcome, though.”

  Marley considered for a few moments. “What you don’t want to do is control what Quilla wants to do, or what she does when she leaves the hospital. I know you’ve been working on the Foundation, but don’t take it over. Make sure Quilla knows it’s just being set up for her and that she can change anything she wants within the organization or even not go ahead with it at all.”

  Jakob nodded, his eyes looking more alive. “That’s good; that’s good stuff.”

  “The important thing is to do the work but don’t take the credit. Just be the investor, which you would have been if Quilla had had the chance to set this up before she was taken. Let Grady or Flori make any public announcements. Be the foundation stone, but be invisible.”

  “I got it. Man, thank you, Marley … but there is one thing. I want to make sure people know that it was Quilla’s idea without me going on TV and gushing—she’ll see right through that. Any ideas?”

  Marley gave him a smile, her expression soft. “Actually, I do.”

  “And you’re sure you feel up to it?”

  Quilla smiled down the phone. Parker had called three times to make sure she felt okay to leave the hospital. “Honestly, Parker, I feel good. It’s not like I’ll be running a marathon when I get out of here. Flori has already told me she has box sets and snacks for us both.”

  Parker chuckled. “Well, okay, then. Look, Asia and I will be up to Seattle soon to see you all.”

  “Can’t wait.”

  Grady and Flori were accompanied by a very excited Hayley. She hugged Quilla. “Marley says she’ll be over to see you later, unless you’re feeling too crowded. I said you’d send her a text message.”

  At Grady and Flori’s apartment, Flori showed her the guest room. “All new furniture and a flat-screen,” she muttered to Quilla, “I still can’t get used to this ‘money is no object’ thing’”