I shook my head and bit my lip. “I want you to do it again.” He placed his fingers on my hips and pulled me close to him. I felt his breath on my forehead, making my scalp tingle. With his right hand he ran it over my hair. “Sadie, I would like nothing more than to give you what you want.” And he pressed his lips into mine. I fell into him and kept falling, falling, falling, until he pulled away from me and I was breathless.
“Come here, I want to show you something.” He grabbed me by the hand and out to his backyard. It was dark but I could see a pool in the center, and it was a very bright blue.
“Look up,” he ordered. I did. “We’ll go as slow as you want to go, Sadie.” He placed his hand in mine.
The stars were so pretty up here in the mountains. I looked at Nolan, and I couldn’t believe that I had almost been so foolish and lost him forever. I couldn’t imagine not being with him in this way. We could not be friends; we were meant for more.
Without thinking I was pulling off my dress and Nolan’s eyes grew bigger. “What are you doing, crazy girl? I thought we were going slow.”
“Going for a dip.” I was in my bra and panties as I backed from him and turned toward the steps. I could feel his eyes on my body, and I didn’t care. I felt so comfortable with him. I stepped into the pool, and the warm water felt perfect against my skin. “Are you coming in?”
“You bet your cute little ass I am.” He pulled off his shorts and jumped into the water splashing me.
I swam over to him as he rose up out of the water. His lips found mine as water dripped down our faces. We floated like that for what seemed like forever until I remembered Cara sitting down the road waiting for me.
“Oh crap, I left my sister out on the road.” Nolan just laughed at me and shook his head.
“I’ll get you a towel and walk you back,” he said as he got out. I didn’t want to leave; I wanted to stay here all night, sleep in his bed, and wake up to his face next to mine.
“Wait,” I told him. “I’ll just text her and tell her to go home.” I was hoping he would get the hint.
I got out, and he handed me a towel and my phone. Instead of texting her, I called.
“Hey,” she answered. “So, you either calling because he dumped you or you made up.”
“It went well.” Now I just sounded lame. “It was way more than that. I’m just …”
“You’re just so in love that you can’t describe the totally amazing feeling. I get it, Sadie. Trust me. You want me to come get you?” She laughed casually, meanwhile I was nervous.
I swallowed, afraid to tell her I wanted to stay here. “Um, I was thinking that …”
Her loud laugh cut me off. “You’re a hot mess, Sadie. You want to stay there, right?”
“Uh-huh.”
I didn’t want her to think that I would do anything I regretted. I didn’t want to disappoint my big sister who had taught me so much. But after the night I’d had, I didn’t want to spend it without Nolan’s arms around me.
“Listen, little sister, I know you’re smart. I know you’re into him, and he’s digging you. I can tell, just be careful. Okay?”
“I will. What will you tell mom?”
“I’ll tell her you stayed the night at Kyleigh’s. Is that okay?”
I smiled. “Perfect. See you tomorrow.” I hung up and faced Nolan. “Can I stay here, tonight?”
His face froze in shock. “You mean, like in my bed?” He ran his fingers through his wet hair.
“Is that all right?”
Boy, I had done a total one-eighty. I had gone from not knowing how I felt, to wanting to be with him all night. What could I say? I was crazy about him. It took almost losing him for me to see that, but it was better than never seeing it at all and losing him.
He smiled and grabbed my hand. “Of course it is. I just don’t want to move too fast.”
“I don’t either. I just want to sleep,” I explained. “I don’t want to do anything we’re not ready for.”
He bent down and kissed me softly. “We’ll go at whatever pace you want to. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
We walked into the house and the cold air made me shiver. When we reached his room, he turned on the shower for me and handed me a t-shirt. I took it and thanked him. I closed the door behind me and waited for the water to heat up. Once it did, I stepped in the shower and noticed the showerhead was like rainwater falling from the ceiling.
“Spoiled,” I muttered.
The water felt fabulous. I was so happy that I lost my buzz. I didn’t like the way it made me feel. I liked being sober and feeling things the real way. It felt better to be experiencing things like Nolan’s kiss while clear-headed. I could say that I remembered everything about it.
I used his shampoo to wash the chlorine out of my hair, and now realized I smelt like him. Studying the bottle, eucalyptus shampoo, and I realized I would need to buy it because it smelled amazing.
I finished up in the shower and towel dried off with his fluffy grey towel. I put on the shirt, and the fabric was so soft I was instantly exhausted. Feeling so comfortable, I was ready for bed.
When I came out, Nolan sat on the bed with the covers on. He was watching a movie and turned to look at me in his shirt.
“I’m so happy that I can finally tell you that you look so sexy in my clothes,” he confessed with a serious face. “I wanted to tell you before, but I couldn’t.”
I got it. We were just friends then.
“Well, thank you.”
I climbed into bed with him and laid my head on his chest, feeling it rise with every breath he took. He ran his fingers through my hair and whispered, “I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than I want this right here. Now go to sleep, and I’ll be here when you wake up. I love you.” He loved me too. I sighed heavily and fell into a deep, restful sleep.
Nineteen
The next morning came too soon, and I stretched lazily in an empty bed. Sitting up I looked around for Nolan, but he wasn’t in the room. I slid off the bed and heard voices from outside, so I headed out quietly onto the balcony―below stood Nolan and his father. I held my breath and slid back into his room. I didn’t want his dad to see me in his son’s shirt with no pants. Even though nothing happened between us, he wouldn’t know that.
“Nolan,” his father said in a deep voice. “I want you to come home. You’ve been spending way too much time here.”
“What, dad? It’s not like you or mom even notice if I’m gone. What difference does it make that I’m here? I like it here. It makes me happy being alone.”
“Son, your place is at home, not alone. And don’t be so melodramatic. You know your mom and I want you around. We’re just busy.”
I wasn’t the only one with family issues, I suppose. Every family had their problems, and this must be Nolan’s. I felt bad for eavesdropping, so I ducked into the bathroom to get dressed. I found my dress from last night hanging on the shower. I begrudgingly took off Nolan’s shirt and slipped my dress back on. I found a brush on the countertop and ran it through my hair. Luckily I was always, as my mom says, “Fresh faced.” It made not wearing make-up easier.
I heard the door to the bedroom open, and I stepped out of the bathroom. Nolan stood there looking around, and when his eyes settled on mine, he walked toward me, scooped me up, and kissed me. He didn’t even care about my morning breath either. Maybe this was love.
“You okay?” I asked him when he pulled away.
“You heard, huh?” I nodded. “Yeah, I guess I should go home. I’ve been here the whole summer.”
“Why are you hiding out?” I asked him, grasping for his hand as he backed away. He looked so sad all of a sudden. “Nolan, talk to me. I’m your …” friend.
“You’re my what? Girlfriend?” He smiled widely now.
“Am I?”
I wasn’t anyone’s girlfriend before. I wasn’t sure what that felt like. Do you have to be officially asked before you refer to yourself as that?
“Yes. I mean, to me you’re more than just a girlfriend now. You’re a partner.” He pulled me close again.
“Okay, I’m your partner. Now tell me why you’re hiding out here.”
“Because,” he whispered, “I don’t belong there with them.”
This saddened me to hear. All this time I had no idea Nolan had felt this way about his family. I was too busy worrying about myself than to even ask him these important questions. Now that I was here and was able to help, I would. I looked at the clock and realized I needed to get home before my mom woke up and wondered where the hell I was.
“Come on, let’s go for a drive,” I said. “You talk and I’ll listen. No interruptions.”
I knew the drive to my house would give us plenty of time to talk. I even knew the long way there that would give us more time together and a beautiful view.
***
The drive was so serene. We took the mountain road down through the canyon and around the backside of Laurel Lakes. While I drove his car, he talked about everything he could get off of his chest. How he hated football, something I already knew, and how his family pressured him about playing again even after the tumor. His dad was never home, and when he was, it was all about football and nothing else. His mom owned her own company that she called Personal Shopping, which was basically shopping for a living. Granted, it was for other people, but geez the woman got to shop, everyday!
“Don’t even get me started on Nash,” he went on. “It’s like we don’t even share the same DNA. We’re so different.”
This I knew first hand. Nolan was sweet and honest, and Nash, well, he just wasn’t. “He loves the game as much as Dad does. So Nash is Dad’s pride and joy while I’m just there, ‘ya know. Just there floating around the house, and no one sees me. Want to know how long I’ve been at the cottage until they came to get me?”
I nodded. “Three weeks, Sadie. They didn’t even show up to my doctor’s visit to get the final results.” That made me so sad to hear. How could they do that? He made a fist and hit the dashboard, not hard, but enough to make himself feel better.
I placed my hand on his and squeezed, letting him know I was here and I wasn’t going anywhere.
“Do you ever feel invisible?” He asked looking out the window.
I laughed. Did I ever. My mom worked so much I hardly ever saw her, and my dad wasn’t home anymore. Cara was off to college, and she just thought of me as the silly kid sister. No one at Ridgeline knew I existed, even though I passed them in the halls every day. But instead of giving him that answer, I gave him the one I really felt was true. The one that I felt right then in that moment.
“Not anymore.” I turned to look at him, and he met my eyes at the same time.
***
Fall
Summer gave way to autumn and I welcomed it with open arms. The summer heat was still in the air, but the trees were starting to turn the rich colors I adored about fall. I watched the trees shed their leaves as Nolan drove me to school. Today was our first day of senior year, and he insisted on driving me to school and picking me up. He said that it was essential that he saw me in the morning. Our class started at the same time at the college, so it just made sense to drive together.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked, breaking my concentration on the leaves.
“I’m actually not thinking, for once.”
“So, you’re not at all thinking about Lily?” Nolan knew me too well. He knew that I was scared about seeing her today. Lily and Oliver were still together. They had made it past the summer phase part of their relationship. While I had hoped she would see the light and end it, she decided to stick with the jerk. I could only hope that she was still safe. We still never talked, even after the end of the summer party.
Kyleigh said that Lily will see him for what he is once it’s right in front of her. I hoped so.
“Yes,” I answered Nolan. “But I’m also excited for our class.”
I reached across the seats and wrapped my hand in his. He squeezed it hard and caressed my finger with his thumb.
His day was equally as stressful. He quit the football team and would be telling his coach today. He was nervous because football is huge in Laurel Lakes, not a pastime, a tradition. And he’s giving it up. He knew he had made the right choice, but no one else understood, least of all, Nash. He took it the hardest.
We pulled into my school, and Nolan passed the U-shaped drop-off zone and pulled the car into the senior parking area. I didn’t ask how he knew where to pull; I just grabbed my bag from the backseat. When I sat up, everyone had stopped walking and watched me get out of Nolan’s BMW. Ridgeline had their rich kids, but not like this. Not Nolan freakin’ Rylan.
I didn’t realize how important the Rylan’s were to the teen social scene until I told Kyleigh that we were officially a couple. She screamed and danced first thing because she was happy for us. A while later she told me how they were like gods in Laurel Lakes, and that every girl wanted to date a Rylan. “They prefer Nash, but they’ll try for Nolan too,” she began. “They’re like royalty here. The princes of Laurel Lakes, if you will. Kind of like William and Harry.”
”So if they couldn’t get Nash, why didn’t they try for Nolan?” I was confused.
“Because Nolan doesn’t date, Sadie! Ever. I told you this. Don’t you remember?”
I remembered a little from the party, but not much. I shook my head.
“You really can’t handle alcohol. No one has been good enough for him to settle down with. They go for Nash because he’ll date anything.”
If they were like the British princes then Nolan was my William. He was a genuinely good person and would do anything for you. He was nerdy, yes, but he made nerdy look hot. Nash was the rowdy Prince Harry. Totally out of control.
I looked out at the crowd of girls drooling over Nolan and said quietly, “Not today, bitches. This prince is mine.”
“What?” Nolan asked with a smile, totally clueless that all these girls were chomping at the bit to get a chance with him.
“Nothing. Have a good day, but not too good.”
I leaned over and kissed him gently. “I’ll miss you,” I confessed. Nerves rumbled in my belly. I had spent the summer with him by his side, and now we would be separated.
“I’ll see you in a short three hours, that’s all. I’ll pick you up right here,” he said kissing me on the forehead.
I opened the door and got out reluctantly. Not wanting to see him driving away and leaving me for Alcott, I didn’t turn back and watch him go. Instead I looked forward and followed the crowd of people in the doors.
After I entered the school, everyone stopped staring and started moving to first period. I tried to shrug off the annoyance of the whispers around me, but it was hard. “What did she do to land a Rylan?” “She must have slept with him. It won’t last.” “Who is that girl? Is she new?”
I had to remind myself of why I was with Nolan―because he loved me and I loved him. It wasn’t the best start to a relationship, but we had one advantage; we were friends first. None of these people knew the Rylan’s like I did. They thought they were royalty, but in reality they were just like everyone else. They had their share of problems just like normal teens. They were rich as sin, but that didn’t make them better than anyone here.
The bell rang overhead, and I hurried to my first period class muttering to myself, “Three hours. Three hours. Three hours.”
I found my seat in my history class and watched the students file in. They were dressed in their finest clothes and their skin tan from days spent at the lake. I missed summer so badly at that moment. Soon it would be cold, and I would be shopping for a new coat. I did look forward to winter with Nolan though. Nights spent on his couch sipping hot cocoa sounded really nice.
“Hey, you’re Sadie, right?”
I broke my glance from the doorway and found Mike Sturbridge staring at me from the next seat over. I smiled and nodded.
�
�I’m Mike.”
I knew very well who he was. I had spent all of freshman year crushing on him, watching football practice after school in hopes he would notice me in the bleachers. Not that he would have any reason to notice me, I was a wallflower to guys like him.
“Hi, I know who you are. And yes, I’m Sadie.” I pulled my notebook out of my bag, and he leaned over and swiped it from me. “Hey, I need that.”
“I just need one page,” he said as he ripped a clean sheet out. He wrote something on it then handed me back the book and the paper that had his phone number scrawled on it.
“That’s just in case you want to go out sometime,” he said nonchalantly.
Me? Go out with Mike Sturbridge? He was Ridgeline royalty, and he was asking me out. I smiled, but inside felt shocked. Where was he junior year?
“Well, Mike … I have a boyfriend,” I said proudly. “But thanks.”
He tossed his curly hair back and looked at me with the most smoldering eyes ever and said, “People break up all the time. So save that just in case. You don’t want to miss out on this.” He winked at me, actually winked, then went to the seat at the back.
The first thought that came to mind was: Gross!
I took the number and folded it up neatly. I knew exactly what to do with it.
Twenty
Finally lunch time and that meant I could see Nolan again. I practically ran from my Spanish class to my locker, I was so excited to be getting out of school early. But before I left the school, I had one thing to do. I pulled out my books, slammed the locker shut, and came face to face with Hailee Spencer. She looked pissed.
“Hailee, what’s up?” I didn’t have time for her bullshit. She was the creator of drama at our school and was notorious for starting fights for no reason.
“What’s up? Are you kidding me?” She placed her hands on her thin hips and jutted out her chest. She looked like an angry baboon.
“No. I’m not kidding,” I said trying to get around her.
“I heard you were talking to Mike. My Mike.”
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