by Michael Todd
Baal pointed at the guy, taking a big gulp of his drink. “Uh-oh, watch this asshole. He’s got a shotgun.”
The man pointed his gun at one of the demons and pulled the trigger, taking its head right off its shoulders. He lowered the gun with a smile, proud of himself. Before he could bask in his triumph three demons were on top of him, tackling him to the ground. The man fell back, his shotgun going off. The buckshot flew through the gate into hell, and Baal and Moloch hit the floor as the pellets whizzed over their heads.
Slowly, they climbed back into their chairs. They glanced at each other and burst into laughter. Moloch wiped his eyes and clapped his hands, signaling the demons to retreat. They made a run for it, dragging human snacks behind them and into the gate.
Moloch sighed and slumped in his chair. “Oh, that was good. Two down, four to go.”
He swiped his hand, and the picture changed. The gate was now showing rolling green hills studded with foliage. Bordering a lush forest was a medium-sized town at the edge of a large lake. Baal oohed and sat forward.
Moloch smiled. “This is my favorite. Dobrodošli na Bledu, Slovenija. Or for the less worldly, welcome to Bled, Slovenia. This town is about double the size of the last. It was established in 1004.”
“When?”
“Long ago, by human standards.”
“So?”
“They take that shit seriously. The humans will take this town’s destruction personally.”
“Got it.”
“It’s also considered the most beautiful town in the world. At least, it will be for a few more moments. But my favorite part is that castle right there. It’s situated on a small island in the middle of the lake. Too bad it doesn’t have any protection.”
Moloch rubbed his hands together and gathered hellish energy in them, then pushed them outward quickly. The air around the small village shimmered, and two gates opened simultaneously. One of the gates was right on the shores of the tiny island, pouring six medium demons out. The other was at the edge of the town, this one releasing four demons so large that they trampled the trees as they walked.
Sirens sounded as the six medium demons went to work. They ran through the droves of tourists climbing to the top of the castle to see the panoramic views of the mountains. They tossed humans from hand to hand, ripping their bodies in half just for fun. Four of the demons focused on the people, rending and biting their flesh for their afternoon snacks. The other two began climbing the tall tower atop the castle.
The demons wrapped their thick arms around it and began to sway back and forth. Moloch sat on the edge of his chair, nodding his head wildly. “Yes, yes…and there it goes! Excellent.”
The tower toppled, crashing to the ground in an explosion of debris and dust. People caught beneath the rubble screamed, and the demons did nothing but laugh. On the mainland, the large demons swung their long arms through the village, toppling the old stone buildings. They grabbed any living being they could reach and ripped each in half in their rage. A trail of blood led from the middle of the town to the gate. The demons destroyed everything in their path.
Baal narrowed his eyes. “If I remember correctly, one of the heads of the Holy Roman Empire gifted that place to the Bishop of Brixen. He was an infected member of the church. I loved his sense of style. Torture was so unique back then. He introduced them to so many ways of dismemberment.”
Moloch nodded. “Oh, yes, I forgot all about him. Well, it’s no longer the most beautiful place on Earth. Sorry, bishop.”
Both demons cackled, and Moloch gave the signal for the demons to return to their gates. He closed the gates to hell but frowned and quickly counted the returned demons. One short. He had left one of the medium demons behind. He spotted it easily, thrashing around in a sea of mangled tourists. Moloch shrugged and clenched his fist tightly. The demon grabbed his head in pain and exploded in a shower of blood and guts.
Moloch stood from his chair and did some stretches, readying himself for the last three towns. His talons nearly touched his toes.
Baal wandered back to the table and tapped his claw against his lips. “Hmmm, I really like those wieners. Delicious!” He selected a few more snacks for the next part.
Moloch groaned as he stretched his back. “Thank you. I learned a few things from the old days. All converted to much tastier proteins, of course.”
Baal nodded. “Of course.”
They both got situated back in their chairs, and Moloch swished his hand, bringing up the next location. It was beautiful, with lush green grass and stone cottages with thatched roofs. A gentle river ran straight through the center of the village. The whole scene was perfectly manicured, and the residents were all out enjoying one of the few sunny days.
Moloch smirked. “Bibury, England. It’s one of those places I can’t wait to wipe out of existence or at least cause considerable damage to.”
Baal considered the town. “Crappy little place with crappy little houses. What’s your beef?”
Moloch groaned. “In the 1000s, late I think, a book was written about this town. Or at least the town was in the book. It was called the Domesday Book. I wrote the original Domesday Book, but that bastard William the Conqueror got hold of it and ended up using it to gain enormous power over much of medieval England. I’m still bitter. Anyway, this town was in it.”
Moloch waved his hand and rested his chin on his fist. The gate opened outside the small medieval town. The demons poured into Arlington Row, sniveling and snarling. People, both residents and tourists, began screaming and running. The demons jumped and dove over old stone walls and onto thatch, taking the roofs off the houses. They burst from doorways and tackled people in the center of the streets. Moloch chuckled as a stream of blood ran down the main street, trickling into the River Coln.
Baal clapped his hands. “The streets will run red with their blood. Take that, William the Shithead!”
Moloch looked at Baal and chuckled. The demons ripped through the small town quicker than Moloch had thought they would. He raised his head, realizing they were doing more damage than he wanted. He snapped his fingers and sent the demons back toward the gate, shutting it quickly behind them. He leaned forward as he scanned the remains of the town, satisfied with what he saw.
Baal grabbed one of the guinea pig sandwiches and tossed it at him. “Hey, wake up. We’ve got two to go, and I’m enjoying myself much more than I thought. You did your deed and wreaked havoc on England. What’s next?”
Moloch picked his nose thoughtfully, trying to remember. Finally, it came to him, and he smiled. “Let’s do these two simultaneously, shall we?”
Moloch swished his hand to the side and opened a second window. The one closest to Baal showed a wide-open plain with lush green grass. Perched atop a tall hill was a domed palace with a gold roof and cylindrical yellow towers. Moloch chuckled. “This was one of Lilith’s favorite playgrounds centuries ago. It is Sintra, Portugal, and is known as the Moon Cult City. They worshipped the moon goddess Cynthia, and when Lilith arrived there, she used her demon powers of persuasion to make them all believe she was the goddess in the flesh. It was actually pretty funny to watch. I chose this place because I know it will chap her ass.”
Baal laughed. “You’re asking for trouble by picking on Lilith. I like it.”
Moloch snarled, “That bitch is going to know she messed with the wrong demons. If she likes Earth so much, she can watch me destroy it piece by piece. I will take down every beautiful place she loves. Besides, there is no damn moon goddess. We all know that. The people are a bunch of nutbags running in the streets, throwing flowers and lighting candles. It’s ridiculous.”
Baal smirked. “Am I sensing a bit of jealousy? Perhaps because there are no cities for you?”
“No. Besides, when I take Earth, all the cities will be for me. If they don’t worship me out of desire, they will out of desperation.”
Baal was silent for an awkward moment. “Okay, then. Where’s the other place?”
“Giethoorn in the Netherlands, also one of those places close to the bitch’s heart. During one of her quarter-life crises, when she was trying to figure out who she was, she lived there. She thought it was quaint and sweet. It’s one of those places that doesn’t have roads. You have to get everywhere on foot or by boat through the little canals. It’s a fucking joke. Supposedly, she fell in love there, but Lucifer found out and ended up filleting and frying the guy in the pits of hell or something.” Moloch tried to look bored at that point, but Baal knew he was trying to cover his spite.
“So you selected these two to pick a fight with Lilith?” Baal asked.
Moloch shook his head. “No. I selected these two to get under her skin. By the time she finds out they both will be ravaged, and there won’t be a damn thing she can do to save them.”
Baal thought about that, looking carefully at Moloch. “And don’t you think that will bring her wrath to your doorstep?”
Moloch shrugged. “Meh, who cares? What’s she gonna do, come back down here and do her ice queen magic? What is this, fucking Frozen on tour?”
Baal was obviously apprehensive about taunting Lilith, but Moloch quickly changed his mind. “Go on, Baal. Be my guest. You can open the gates to both of those. It’s not often that you get to do the fun part. I’m tired anyway. You know how opening a gate takes it out of me.”
Baal smiled and jumped up. He cracked his fingers. “Don’t mind if I do.”
He closed his eyes and began to sway back and forth as if a symphony were playing. He brushed one arm to the right, opening a gate at the top of the hill where a castle stood. He waved his left arm, opening a larger gate in the middle of the small village of Giethoorn. Moloch chuckled as Baal danced around, his large feet shaking the ground beneath them.
In Sintra, tall ogre-like demons poured out of the gate carrying all manner of weapons. Three of them immediately attacked the castle, bashing their spiked clubs into the stone walls. Chunks of buildings fell, and people began to run. The ogres squashed them right and left with their large horned feet. One of them stomped down on the walkway, killing at least a dozen humans. He bent over and picked up a screaming woman, staring at her with his big red eyes. She screamed even louder, and he grimaced, quickly biting off the top half of her body.
The other ogres ran down the mountain, taking boulders and trees down with them. They picked up the large stones and rolled them at the city below like bowling balls. One smashed into several houses and then proceeded through the center of the town, rolling right through a church where service was being held.
Moloch threw his hands into the air and cheered. “Strike! Eleven more to go for a perfect game.”
Baal was relieved to see Moloch coming out of his bad mood. He pointed at the Giethoorn window, laughing. “Look at them swim!”
Several of the people ran from their homes, screaming as demons chased them out. They dove over the wooden bridges into the canals and began to swim as fast as they could. Little did they know that demons didn’t mind the water at all. The water boiled as though it was infested with a swarm of piranha, and soon the canals ran red. The water calmed suddenly. The only thing that came back to the surface was a dress shoe and a clump of hair.
Terrified people ran in all directions as demons piled out of the gate. It was a grand finale to the European Tour of Horror. Beautiful towns all across the continent were just pawns in Moloch’s game. They had captured the imagination of humans everywhere, and their destruction would strike a deep blow. Their destruction would move humanity to fight back. It would draw the mercenaries from their homes. It would even bring Katie from hiding. Moloch was getting really tired of her. He hated to admit it, but he was actually afraid of her. He was ready for change, and only he could make it happen.
By the time Moloch stepped in and called his demons back to the gates, the beautiful landscapes of Sintra and Giethoorn were covered in blood and gore. The streets were empty, and the only sounds that could be heard were the moans of the wounded and the echoing cries of the orphaned. Sirens blared, but no one came to help. The terror had been real and poignant, albeit short—exactly what Moloch and Baal had been trying to achieve.
Moloch waited for the gates to shut before waving away the windows, and a smile moved over his lips. He collapsed into his chair and gazed at the volcanoes and moaning souls of hell. An explosion in one of the lava rivers shook him from his trance. He clapped and put his large feet up on the table. Baal laughed jubilantly, still shoveling food into his mouth.
Moloch yawned and stretched his arms over his head. “That was a beautiful trip, don’t you think? Though I am disappointed ger bay and a helip I didn’t come back with any souvenirs.”
Baal nodded with a mouthful. “I think the highlights for me were the rolling heads, the drowning humans, and…that one pub guy in Scotland who had the shotgun.”
Moloch nodded. “Hmm, yes, those were good. Personally, I would say the pub owner was definitely on the top of the list. I also like the way that castle in Bled came down, the beauty of the falling stones crushing the bones and limbs of the people below it. I love watching history crumble. People get so emotional about it, as though the buildings hold meaning. It’s pathetic.”
Baal laughed. “Maybe we should start naming some of the places here with historical references and let the idiot humans come to us. It would save Lucifer a lot of hard work. Just let the souls collect themselves.”
Moloch shook his finger. He stood up and grabbed one last bite of the stew. “I like the way your evil little mind works, Baal. Though I’m pretty sure His Majesty loves his job. The look on those poor bastards’ faces when he arrives to bring them to hell. They always wonder what they did to deserve it.”
They both laughed. Moloch snapped his fingers, and several of his demon servants appeared. “Clear this out and take the leftovers to Baal’s home. I’m not going to want any more of this stuff.”
“So, what is our plan now?”
Moloch put his arm around Baal and walked with him across the molten stone. “We wait and see what happens next. You know I always have a trick or two up my sleeve. Lilith will get word very soon, and so will the rest of the world. They will wake up to carnage, and unlike you and me, they don’t enjoy that. It’s going to be a shit show for certain, one I cannot wait to see.”
10
Pandora was fidgety, and she was transferring that restlessness straight onto Katie. Not that she didn’t mean to do it. Rise and shine, sunflower. It’s a new day and a new chance to eat donuts, kick ass, and…eat more donuts.
Katie grumbled and turned over in the bed. She was trying her hardest to push back against Pandora, ignoring the rush of energy that was starting to flow through her. Her legs were starting to tingle, a jolt running from her toes up to her hips. Katie kicked out petulantly but only succeeded in winding her legs up in the blankets.
Pandora chuckled. Try all you want, but you have yet to master the ability to ward off my energizing vibes.
Katie took her pillow and slammed it over her head, wishing it would somehow stop Pandora’s constant chatter. Is that an option?
Pandora sighed. No. But it’s a nice thought, isn’t it? Come onnnn. The sun is up, the birds are fucking chirping, and one just landed on the windowsill like you’re Cinder-fucking-ella. I’m not going to remind you how many chores you have to do.
Katie yanked the pillow off her head and turned in bed. She opened her eyes wide, hoping that Pandora could feel her icy stare. I thought we had a damn agreement.
Pandora tsked. No, we didn’t. We know we love each other, and we know I love to get up early. That is the compromise.
That’s not a compromise. That’s you getting what you want.
It is? Weird how that happens.
You suck at friendships. And relationships in general. You know that, don’t you?
Pandora shrugged. So I’ve been told. But I’ve also heard ‘a happy demon, a happy life.’
&nb
sp; Katie sat up in bed and pulled the covers up to her chest. First of all, that is not how the saying goes. It’s, ‘Happy wife, a happy life.’ I am not your wife, and my life is not very happy when I have to wake up at the ass-crack of dawn. Why can’t you just sleep or doodle or something?
Doodle? On what? Your liver?
It might be better than this medieval torture. Seriously, I think you do it to make your mornings brighter.
Pandora thought about it for a moment. On a normal basis, I might agree with you. In fact, on most mornings, I would agree with you wholeheartedly. This morning, though, there’s actually a purpose.
What? You want donuts? You smell bacon? You’re thinking about men? You have an itch? What is so important that you have to wake me up this early in the morning?
Pandora snickered. Good lord, relax. Your blood pressure is shooting through the roof. I’m trying to talk to you and control you from stroking out at the same time.
I was relaxing, then you woke me up!
The truth is, I’ve got more to tell you.
Katie picked up her head and looked around. Really?
Yes! Now get up and dress for war!
Katie sighed but pulled herself out of the bed. She went to her closet and pulled out a fresh outfit of black spandex and a low-cut top and got dressed. She strapped her guns on her hips and rolled her shoulders. A twinge in her neck spiked, then became warm, then was gone. That was Pandora. Thanks.
I’m a licensed masseuse.
No, you’re not.
I’ve massaged some crazy stuff. Stuff I should either get a license for or get arrested for.
Now, where are we going?
Pandora whistled in excitement. I’m pumped about this. Jump out, do your wing thing, and head north out of the city. Just find some nice, quiet place out of the way to chill.