How to Be Your Dog's Best Friend
Page 11
Our approach to dogs at New Skete places the main emphasis precisely on fostering the relationship between dog and owner. As we begin to teach the basic obedience exercises, it is important to underscore this principle: training is always intended to serve that relationship. A healthy relationship comes from a thoughtful and respectful stance toward the dog, in which we as caretakers combine solid understanding of dogs and dog behavior with our deeply felt love for them. Yes, good technique is important, but not for its own sake. It always takes a secondary role, supporting the overall quality of the relationship. In our experience, such an attitude on the part of the caretaker frees the dog to respond with a natural willingness and over time nurtures a profound level of loyalty and dedication, despite the fact that there are many valid methods of training a dog. This is the fertile soil out of which so many famous dogs (Lassie, Benji, Rin-Tin-Tin, etc.) have developed: a sound relationship with the trainer.
This comes as a surprise to many people. There is so much emphasis on technique within our culture that we habitually presume that if only we can get our position correct, the timing of the leash pop precise, the tone of our voice at such a pitch . . . everything else will follow. There is more to training than that. Our attitude is equally important in effective training, in communicating and building the relationship you envision with your dog. Training is a challenge because it involves two living, conscious parties: you and your dog. In our experience, most dogs act fairly predictably, according to their personalities. However, we human beings are often less predictable. It is all too easy to be unconscious of yourself and bring into the training process many kinds of contentious, negative attitudes that are counterproductive, that dump on the dog, and that ultimately hinder any progress. This happens, for example, when the dog receives the aftershock of the fight you had with your spouse, the reprimand you received from your boss, or simply the bad mood you happen to be in that day. Your dog has no way of understanding these attitudes beyond the immediate message your behavior is communicating: you are displeased with him. Not only is it unfair to you and your dog, it is not even really true.
The good trainer has to be so aware of both him- or herself and the dog that he or she can respond immediately to whatever the circumstances may require, cleanly, without any unrelated emotional "baggage." To do so requires a ruthless honesty and disciplined introspection that make you aware of your state of mind as you prepare to train. This awareness helps you identify and deal with your own personal emotions in advance, which can affect your training. Far from being artificial, amazing things begin to happen once you bring these healthy characteristics to your training. Not only do you have a clearer focus and better presence of mind toward your dog (which helps the dog learn in a much more efficient manner), you also carry these qualities over into your human relationships as well. The two spheres are intimately related. We have a saying here at the monastery: you can't become a better trainer without becoming a better human being.
From this perspective, obedience training can be allied with spiritual discipline both to train your dog and to train yourself. The difficulty with many approaches to training is that they focus entirely on the dog and not on the trainer. In such a context of unreflective behavior, all that really matters is the particular technique and the end result it achieves. The trouble is, such overkill has a profound effect on the relationship. "Whatever works" is an excuse used to justify training techniques that, when looked at closely, not only lack sensitivity but are ethically questionable. For example, "hanging" a dog for an obedience infraction may seem to get results, but at what price? How does the dog now perceive you? As a tyrant worthy of fear? What other issues in your life are coming out in your anger and frustration toward your dog? Is it really worth it?
We believe there is a better way, one that combines a genuine respect for the dog and how he learns with good technique and a consciousness of the actual interior state of the trainer. It is important to realize that this inner dimension can be worked on and acquired by most of us. We are not fans of "the Saint Francis syndrome," the notion that some people simply have a way with dogs while others, no matter how hard they try, will never be able to learn. Though it is true that some people intuitively sense what is helpful, it is always possible with effort and reflection to improve one's attitude and training skills.
This is not a book on religion, and we have no desire here to go the unwise route of mixing religion with animal care. At the same time, we would be remiss if we did not observe and clearly reveal that there is a deep spiritual connection between dogs and human beings, which can be enhanced and developed when your relationship with your dog is grounded in some form of personal, spiritual discipline. Meditation is valuable in any human life, because it teaches us how to be calm and fully conscious of what we are thinking and feeling. This experience and personal knowledge enables us to be more appropriate and effective in our communication and behavior. This is of crucial importance in dealing with a dog.
For example, dogs are highly sensitive to human emotions and are equally perceptive in reading our body language. It is difficult to disguise a bad attitude with a dog. Attitude comes through loud and clear and affects the dog. No matter how good our technical training skills, if we are angry, whiny, impatient, lacking in creativity and spirit, the dog perceives and reacts to it, and our training suffers. To avoid this, it is of extreme importance to create a genuinely positive, encouraging attitude in working with your dog.
First sit down and be quiet for a few seconds. Focus and center yourself by taking a few deep breaths. Let go of any tensions and anxieties you may be harboring and move your attention onto your dog. Become aware of the actual concerns you have for your dog and let that be the foundation from which your training proceeds. When you feel clear, calm, and relaxed, try to visualize the session you intend to have. Recall what you had difficulty with in the previous session and then go through the exercises one by one in your imagination, trying to anticipate possible scenarios that may take place, as well as the response you would hope to provide in each variation.
This does two things. First, it directs all your inner energies toward the session, frees you from distraction, focuses your attention, and makes you alert and ready to work with your dog. Second, it helps you familiarize yourself with exactly what you are going to do. Training is dramatically more effective when it flows naturally, when the timing of corrections is precise and you don't have to stumble over your own thoughts and actions. Many athletes use exactly this same technique before competition. Mentally going over what they hope to do in the coming event prepares their bodies to act naturally.
Think positively, and the dog will respond positively to your overall demeanor, inner and outer. In the past it was assumed that dogs respond obediently in a training situation but not in real life simply because they recognize the setup. By removing the possibility of non-compliance (for example, using a rope with a long-distance recall), the dog understands that resistance is futile and thus will come. However, another hitherto unacknowledged aspect enters in here: the handler's relaxed attitude during the setups. Because they are not worried that the dog won't obey, handlers usually relax in a way that isn't the case when the dog is free. The dog immediately picks up on this and is more likely to respond obediently to the handler's confidence. This is a crucial dimension that realizes its fulfillment once the dog is fully trained and the owner confident that the dog will be obedient: the relationship naturally manifests that sense of trust and harmony.
A truly positive approach to training is holistic in character, conscious of and addressing the psychological, spiritual, and technical dimensions present in the dog-human relationship. Paying attention to these elements together is what moves the relationship to the next level. The owner assumes a position of informed responsibility for the relationship and views training from the perspective of communication, how best to help the dog understand.
A good attitude does not mean th
at there won't be limits set or consequences for undesirable behavior. Just as with human relationships, human-canine relationships, by their very nature, are not one-dimensional. They involve the healthy and constructive use of correction and guidance, practice and play, companionship and periods of being alone. Being aware of all these dimensions is the first step to integrating them into the relationship. These elements mirror pack relationships in the wild, and their cumulative effect is to accent the positive, to motivate by encouragement and patience.
However, such relationships are founded on healthy respect. As we have learned in our own monastic life, true obedience involves mutuality and reciprocity. It is not simply the dog that obeys. The root meaning of the word obedience is "to listen." When applied to training our dogs, obedience involves as much our listening to the dog in order to discern what is needed as it does the dog's responding to our commands. It involves laying aside our burdens for the moment and entering fully into the relationship here and now so that our word to the dog will be simple, clear, and free of emotional or physical static.
Environments
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Canine Environments
There are four basic types of canine environments: the city, the suburbs, the country, and outdoors. Each presents a different lifestyle for the dog, and each holds the potential for problems. Contrary to popular belief, there is no ideal setting for each and every dog. The myth that no dog can live happily in a large city is being debunked daily as thousands of dogs manage to coexist with smog, skyscrapers, noise, pollution, and the lack of space. The reverse myth that a dog can find true happiness on a farm certainly doesn't apply to all dogs, since country dogs are presented with a different set of problems.
We do not pretend to point out every pitfall in each particular setting, but we do want to identify some of the main problems specific to each. Some dogs spend part of their lives in all four settings, and others move dramatically between city and country, even in the course of a year. No matter where they live, smart dog owners avoid the temptation to blame the locale for their dog's problems and behavioral quirks. Though different environments may trigger idiosyncrasies, training can usually help your dog overcome them.
Don't be afraid to have a dog simply because of where you live. Dogs can be happy almost anywhere if their lives are properly structured and if they are conditioned to the particular environment and its demands. Finally, owners must take a hard look at their canine's environment and try to make it as healthy as possible.
15
City Life
Is it impossible to own a dog in a large American city? Apparently, the answer is no, as thousands do just that. They own dogs of all sizes and breeds, not just the typical apartment dogs. As the crime rate increases in some cities, many people purchase large dogs with a "protection image." German shepherd dogs, rottweilers, and Doberman pinschers have become popular in urban areas, and poodles and other smaller breeds have been living there for years. The fact is, some of the best-cared-for dogs attending our training program over the years have been owned by clients who lived in large cities such as New York or Boston. Because of the challenges involved, they have had to be utterly serious and realistic about the commitment required to care for a dog in the city. Their example convinces us that it is possible to have a happy dog in a large city — but it takes time, dedication, and money.
One of the most obvious problems is providing your dog with a balanced amount of exercise every day. If you are in the city and own a dog, you need to commit yourself to a program of two, and preferably three, exercise outings each day. For owners who work, midday walks by professional dog walkers make this possible and have a marked influence on the dog. The length of the walk depends on the breed. These walks should entail more than simply time outdoors for the dog to eliminate. They must be exercise outings in which the dog is walked at length or allowed to run. The walk itself should be taken on leash, since almost all cities have strict leash laws. Your dog needs to go out every day, fair weather or foul, summer and winter. If you live in an upper-floor apartment, there is no convenient way for your dog to go out and come back in on his own: the animal's access to the outdoors depends on someone. There's no way to avoid the responsibility of taking the pet out.
The exercise problem is one of the most obvious challenges to keeping a dog in the city, and yet it's not all that bad. No matter where a dog lives, he needs the same amount of exercise and needs to go out to eliminate. The major difference in the city is that these activities must be regulated on leash, both when you are home and when you are at work. Many people find it helpful to set up a daily schedule fitting in some kind of exercise for themselves along with their dogs. In New York, for instance, joggers hold their dogs on leash as both run around in parks. In some large cities, groups of dog owners have cooperated in installing large dog runs or dog parks where dogs can be brought for exercise, play, and elimination purposes while the owners read or chat. For a dog with the right temperament, these are wonderful areas where they can romp and play with other dogs off leash. Make sure, however, that the run is well supervised and that the dogs playing are good with other dogs before allowing your own to romp. While he is playing, keep an eye on your dog so that he, too, stays within acceptable bounds with dogs and people. For those with large or extremely active breeds, a program of roadwork (see chapter 26, "Keeping Fit for Life") provides the dog with exercise even if the owner cannot walk along. But in the city roadwork is most effectively accomplished with a springer attachment. This piece of equipment attaches to your bike and allows your dog to trot alongside on a nylon line. Such roadwork can be done safely and easily in a city park where traffic is minimal. Lastly, if you Rollerblade well, you can also teach your dog to move at your pace, whether on heel or out in front in a controlled manner. Simply understand that with the latter two exercises, it may take a little bit of time for your dog to adjust, so take it easy.
One of the most important skills you can teach a city dog is to fetch. Ten minutes of fetching can provide a hearty exercise session for most dogs and utilizes many more muscles than merely walking. A fetch session should be on the daily agenda of every city dog; however, make sure to use a long rope or nylon line that can trail behind your dog as she runs after her "prey." This ensures that you are always in a position to enforce your dog's recall should she start playing "catch me" games with you. Bring the rope with you in a canvas shoulder bag along with something to fetch. Frisbees, sticks, or a deflated football are objects that can be located more easily than a regular ball after a throw. Every big-city park must be strewn with an assortment of balls intended to be retrieved by dogs but eventually thrown too far and lost. Young people discovered Frisbees in the sixties, and they are extremely popular with dogs now; in some places Frisbee catching has become an organized competitive event.
Professional Dog Walking in the City
Increasingly seen in large cities these days are groups of dogs being walked by a dog walker (occasionally with an assistant). Such "pack walking" can involve as many as ten to fifteen dogs, and although it looks pretty impressive, people should understand its dangers. While we vigorously support the idea of dog walking, we recommend that the number of dogs being walked at any one time not exceed four, unless a larger number are from the same household and have been trained properly. The only bonus in walking a greater number of dogs is to the dog walker, in the form of more profit. The risks are far more serious:
The more dogs being walked, the greater the possibility of your dog getting loose. In such an event, the walker would be unable to chase the runaway because of the other dogs he is walking.
Pack dynamics can lead to aggressive behavior. The more dogs, the greater the chance for aggression both within the pack and toward another dog the pack happens to come upon.
Dogs are often tied up alone on the sidewalk when the walker is fetching the next dog to add to the pack. Dogs that are being walked should not be left unattended.
These caveats aside, a reliable pet walker or pet sitter is invaluable to maintaining a healthy dog in the city. With such a professional you can leave your pet in her own secure, familiar space when you are away, either during the workday or for longer periods, such as vacations. Like people, pets are creatures of habit, and by staying in their own home, they are able to follow their normal eating, medication, and exercise routines. Such familiarity contributes to the happiness and health of your pet. There are other advantages as well. When using a pet sitter, for example, you minimize the possibility of exposing your pet to illnesses she may come in contact with at a kennel.
Use common sense in choosing such a pet-care person. Solicit referrals from reliable sources, such as your veterinarian, local animal shelter, and neighbors who may be acquainted with (or use) such individuals. Set up an interview and ask the person to provide some references. If the interview involves dog walking, ask how many dogs will be walked at once and, if you are hiring through a service, find out whether the service is bonded and insured (a nice bonus if it is). During the interviews, pay attention to the prospective walkers' general demeanor, the questions they ask, and the way they interact with your pet. Watch how your pet responds to them. Do they ask specific questions about your pet, or do they seem more intent on simply selling themselves? Be clear about the projected length and responsibilities of their work, as well as the costs involved. Dog walking is for at least half an hour, more probably for an hour. Inquire about how they would handle an emergency, what steps they would take, and whom they would contact. Ask if they are open to beginning with a trial period, which would allow you to get an idea of how your pet is handling the service. Finally, take a walk together with your dog to observe how the walker handles your dog. This will help your pet relax and adjust to the dog walker.