Sorrow's Muse

by Colt, Shyla

  Julian collapsed back onto his pillows and caught his breath. This crush was getting out of hand. He rolled over to his side, grabbed a shirt he’d discarded on the floor, wiped off his hand, and forced his sleep-deprived body out of the bed to plod to the bathroom. After a quick shower, he tossed his dirty shirt into the hamper and crawled beneath the covers.

  The last time he’d had sex with another person had been a hasty encounter in a darkened room over a year ago, when one of the gold-digger types who was friends with Paul’s fiancée who attempted to worm her way into his graces. He hadn’t fallen for the ploy, but he let her ease the ache and push the loneliness at bay for a night.

  He groaned and rolled onto his stomach. It felt like he was back in high school, rubbing one out to daydreams of the hot girl in school who would never give him a second chance. He clenched his eyes shut and willed sleep to come.

  * * * *

  Julian gripped the mug of coffee in his hands and peered out the window, down at the lawn where Colette painted. His sleep had been sporadic at best because of this woman. He took a sip of the dark roast and peered over the rim. She was a mystery. He had a million things he needed to do for work in his studio upstairs, yet here he stood. He scowled. Ridiculous. It infuriated him that after all this time, he still hadn’t learned his lesson. He didn’t get the same opportunities as other people.

  Colette’s head tipped up, and she beamed when she spotted him at the window. She placed her paintbrush on the easel, waved and beckoned him with a crooked finger.

  He nodded. What else could he do now that he’d been caught in the act a second time? It was best to play it off as though he’d been trying to catch her eye. Can I do it? Damn, I wish I’d never run into her at the grocery store. He held up an index finger to give the universal signal for ‘give me a minute.’ This woman either had superhero-like senses or he needed to learn how to be stealthier.

  Julian walked into the bathroom and peered into the mirror. He did have a bit of a tan, which always made the scarring look less gruesome. He wore a pair of black jeans, a gray, long-sleeved button-down he’d rolled up to his elbows and a black vest with gray pin stripes He looked good.

  Opening his medicine cabinet, he pulled out a bottle of Play, and gave himself two squirts. This was about as much swagger as he ever mustered. It’s time to go get this train wreck over with. He took a deep breath, turned from the mirror, and made his way out of the house. The breeze from the ocean did nothing to soothe the heat covering his body.

  His Converses slapped the pavement as he walked the short distance to her house. Funny, they’ve never made so much racket before. He came to a halt a few feet away from where she stood.

  She glanced up. A spark of happiness flickered in the depths of her dark brown eyes and she grinned.

  He felt weak in the knees and dazed. Is this really happening? He didn’t get reactions like this! Let alone from a woman like the one in front of him. His stomach twisted. Could she know who he was? No, that scenario was unlikely. Perhaps she’s just a nice lady looking to make friends. Why she’s barking up his tree was beyond him. You are the closest neighbor she has.

  Did she expect him to start the conversation? They studied each other for a heartbeat that stretched out for an eternity before she spoke.

  “It’s about time we got together somewhere other than Albertsons.”

  The musical tone of her voice hit him like a bolt of lightning. He wanted to close his eyes so he could savor every word. The rolling lilt sounded like a siren’s song luring him in like something he’d heard before—perhaps in a dream. This is why you need to get away from her. Getting attached is just asking for trouble.

  She delivered a playful wink meant to ease the awkwardness.

  Julian struggled to remain polite. He could play nice for the next five minutes. “Yeah.” He gave a nervous chuckle and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. I probably sound like an idiot. “I—uh—saw you painting and I couldn’t keep myself from sneaking peeks and trying to capture a glimpse.” He motioned toward his house.

  She took a step back and gestured to her canvas. “You’re welcome to look. Unlike some authors, I don’t mind sharing.”

  She seemed so nice, it made it impossible to snub her without feeling like an asshole. Being mean to people who were actually nice to him wasn’t his style. He’d been on the receiving end of nastiness too many times to do that. Instead, he kept them at a distance. He moved around to stand beside her and almost gasped.

  Her work was picturesque. It looked as though she’d taken a snapshot of the view of the ocean and the sky littered with clouds.

  “This is beautiful.”

  “Thank you.” She ducked her head.

  The shy action intrigued him. It seemed at odds with the saucy greeting which labeled her as bold and outgoing at the grocery store. Interesting, his mystery woman has layers.

  When she spoke to him, her eyes remained locked with his. No small feat, considering.

  His confidence rose just a bit as he continued to monitor her for negative responses. “You’re welcome. I’m sure you’re sick of hearing this, but where are you from?”

  “Originally, Greece. I’ve been in the States for quite some time. I used to be roomies with my big sister, but she wanted to go home and I wanted to stay. So here I am, trying to figure out of if the arts are what I truly want to do with my life.”

  “You certainly have the talent for it.”

  “Thank you. Can you give me a rundown on our neighbors?”

  “A lot of trust-fund kids and independently wealthy types who keep to themselves. We’re the only artistic types.”

  “Oh, what do you do?”

  “I compose music.”

  “Wow! That has to be an interesting job.”

  “To say the least.”

  She laughed.

  He waited for her to ask whom he’d worked with and if she knew any of his compositions, but she moved on—his involuntary infatuation and appreciation grew.

  * * * *

  I can’t believe I just pulled that off! Colette was on cloud nine. She twirled around in a circle as she reached her room. She’d managed to talk to Julian without making an ass of herself and unless she was misreading things, he seemed to be warming up. She’d been confident, flirtatious and if the Fates were in a giving mood…interesting.

  The wary look in his eyes faded a smidge more every time they talked.

  She dashed into her room to contact Dite. She’d want to hear all about how her hard work had paid off. She sat down at the vanity bench.

  The mirror rippled to reveal her big sister, Calliope. Her amber eyes flashed. Her lips were pinched and the brow of her heart-shaped face looked furrowed. The time of avoiding her was over.

  “Hey, big sis.”

  “I cannot believe you did this, Colette!” Calliope crossed her arms under her bust, which heaved with every deep breath she took as her nostrils flared.

  Colette cringed. “I had to.”

  “No, you wanted to. There’s a huge difference.”

  “He’s my soul mate.”

  “You can’t know that for sure! Is this one human worth risking everything? Julian is balanced just on the cusp of being hopeless. The odds aren’t good for the two of you. What were you thinking? His career is all he has to keep him grounded!”

  “Calliope, it’s not a given that I’ll go insane if he chooses his career over me.”

  “Your connection to him is what got you here in the first place. Can you really tell me it wouldn’t bother you to see him choose his music and forget you exist, or worse, sink so far into the darkness, he can’t come back?”

  Her stomach plunged. Her left eye twitched at the thought of him harming himself or turning to drugs or drink.

  “See what I mean! You’re young and you haven’t really learned how to separate yourself completely. I get that. We’ve all had humans we care too much about. This isn’t the answer.” Golden-b
rown curls flew as Calliope shook her head from side to side. “You need to stop while you’re ahead. It’s not too late to come back home. One word and we can make him think this was all a dream.” Her eyes were wide and hopeful.

  The sincere concern etched on her sister’s face made Colette want to agree to walk away, but her stubborn heart wouldn’t let her. “No! I can do this. There’s always been a bond between us that surpassed that of a Muse and her human. You know that!”

  Calliope shook her head and sighed. “For your sake, I hope you’re right.” She glanced over her shoulder. “I have to go, but we’ll be in touch.”

  The mirror returned to its normal state and Colette slumped. The conversation had been a huge buzzkill. Doubts she’d buried, floated to the forefront of her mind. Damn you, Calliope! She twisted a thick lock of hair around her finger as she chewed on the inside of her cheek. Her sister might have lacked tact, but her concerns were very real. What if this didn’t go the way she’d envisioned?

  I’ll just have to make sure that doesn’t happen.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Julian rang the doorbell to Colette’s condo. He tried not to fidget as he waited for her to answer. Somehow, their daily conversation yesterday had led him to coming here now. The woman had him breaking all the rules he’d set in place to keep what was left of his heart intact.

  I think her voice has the power to cast spells, at least over me. What is so special about this girl?

  She seemed sweet enough. Her humor made him laugh and her skill inspired creativity. It should’ve been a win-win situation, but it made him wary. He’d be a fool to get caught up in his crush and think she wanted to be anything more than friends.

  How did I get myself into this?

  * * * *

  “What other passions do you have, other than painting?” Julian asked.

  “As cliché as this is going to sound, music. It’s such an amazing venue for really expressing what you’ve been through—in this universal format everyone can understand. Songs and albums have captured everything, from moments in time to heartache and reaching rock bottom. To me, music that comes from the gut, the soul is like an oral history.”

  “Exactly...” he whispered. “That’s why I do what I do. What kind of music do you like?”

  “All kinds, as long as it moves me in some way.”

  “Good answer.”

  “I actually have a vinyl record collection. Maybe you could stop by and see it sometime.”

  He knew his eyes must be bugging out. Is this Be Kind to the Weird Neighbor Week? Someone should have told him. “Oh, I wouldn’t want to bother you.”

  “It could never be a bother. Time spent with a fellow music lover is a privilege. Besides, aren’t you supposed to make friends with your neighbors when you move to a new place?”

  He smiled. She had him there.

  “If you’re sure, I’d love to.”

  “Good. I should get back to painting now, but I wondered if this Friday would work for the vinyl records.”

  “Sure, I’m free.”

  “Around noon?” she asked.

  “I’ll see you there, Colette.”

  “Wonderful! I’ll see you then.”

  “Bye.”

  * * * *

  The door swung open and he was pulled out of his memory and inside the condo by a grinning Colette.

  “I’m so glad you’re here.”

  She hooked her arm in his and guided him inside her place. Her breast brushed against the side of his arm and his desire grew. The aloofness he’d planned to invoke was shot to hell. Even if this is a pity friendship, he would enjoy it while it lasted.

  God, I’m sad. But she’s so enchanting and sincere. She radiated warmth and compassion. If being too close to her singed him in the end, it would be worth it. Other than his sham of a relationship with Beth in high school, the only thing he’d ever had with women were casual friendships, or fumbling hands and unsatisfying sex in the dark. It felt good when he found his release, but it never went any further than that. This has the potential to be so much more. Even bitter, he recognized that. They got each other on a level that wasn’t easy to come by. It sounded great in theory, but the idea of opening himself up made him balk. Keep it light and casual, so this won’t steamroll you when it all goes to hell and crashes and burns. Soon, she’ll have other friends and you and this...whatever it is will be a distant memory.

  He gave what he knew might look like a strained smile and switched the direction of the conversation. “So, where are those records?”

  “Up in my room, beneath my record player. I like to keep the things that mean the most close to me.” She glanced at him from beneath her lowered lids.

  Julian gulped. He cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the strange vibe that permeated the area. “I can understand that.”

  She rolled her eyes and tugged him toward the stairs. “Come on.”

  It felt almost too intimate seeing her bedroom. When they cleared the stairs and headed to the left, he found himself taking a large gulp when she twisted the brass knob on the white wooden door and pushed it open.

  A large king-size bed sat in the middle of a room identical to his own in setup, but completely different otherwise. The light blue bedspread offset by the white furniture with pink floral accents.

  “Come over here by the window.” She led him to two comfy chairs with a standalone record player between them. “Have a seat.” She gestured toward the tan chair, releasing his arm and he sat down. She took the seat on the other side of the record player. “When I can’t get inspired, this is where I turn to. What kind of music do you want to start off with?”

  “Your choice.”

  “Hmm.” She riffled through the albums. “How about I choose one of my favorites?”

  “Sounds good to me.” He relaxed into the seat as she put the record on and the strains of Cheap Trick’s “I Want You to Want Me” reached his ears.

  * * * *

  She searched his face for a flicker of recognition when she played her fourth song. If “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel didn’t make him think she was interested, nothing would. Colette sighed. She wasn’t sure if he was clueless or flat-out stubborn. She glanced over at him and smiled. At least he seemed relaxed in her presence now. it’s progress, even if it was minimal. A part of her wanted to do something bold, like kiss him, but she knew it’d be the worst thing she could do.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  “Yeah, it’s just such a good song. It’s been a while since I’ve listened to it.”

  “Songs like this one are timeless. It’s amazing how well he captured this moment. It takes you to that sensation of unrequited love.”

  “Have you ever felt that way about someone?” she asked.

  “Oh yeah, dozens of times when I was young. How about you?”

  “Once.”

  “Wait, what? What man in his right mind wouldn’t notice you? Or was it a woman?” he asked. His face flamed.

  She chuckled and shook her head. “No, a man—a wonderful, witty, sexy, talented man who doesn’t know I exist. Mostly, because he doesn’t give himself enough credit. I don’t think he believes he’s my type.” Their gazes locked and he shifted in his chair. She willed him to understand the hypothetical person was him.

  He cleared his throat. “Well, I hope it works out for you. You deserve to be happy, Colette.”

  “So do you.”

  He tensed and she knew she’d pushed him as far as she dared. “What should we listen to next?” she asked.

  The mood in the room lightened as talk returned to music

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  “She’s gorgeous, Jay. Where in the world did you find her?” Paul asked.

  “I’m not antisocial all the time,” he said.

  Paul shot him a skeptical look.

  He chuckled. “She lives two condos down.”

  “This is the neighbor woman you’ve been hanging out with?”

 
; “Yeah.”

  “Why the hell didn’t you mention she was gorgeous with a body for days?”

  Julian shrugged. “I guess I never really thought about her like that.” Liar! It’s because you didn’t want him to start sniffing around. The thought shamed him. Paul really is a good guy. He’d never cheat on Gina, but he’s a huge flirt. Julian liked having Colette to himself. Pitiful.

  “You like her, don’t you!”

  “Shh!”

  Paul leaned in and lowered his voice. “Are you thinking of making a move on her?”

  “What? No? Why would I ruin what we have now?”

  “Because, I’m pretty sure she wants you too. Haven’t you noticed the way she looks at you?”

  “Like I’m her only friend in the neighborhood and we get along well?”

  “Umm, no.” Paul shook his head. “That twinkle in her eyes is attraction.”

  “Remember the last time we thought that?”

  “You have to let the Beth thing go. Most people aren’t that shallow and callous.”

  “My experience with people says they are.”

  “You can’t really believe that, Jay. Not with the music you write.”

  “Those songs are concepts. They’re how I hope the world can be one day. I’m not naive enough to believe we’re there yet.” He knew he sounded like a Danny Downer, but he had to make Paul see where he was coming from. It wasn’t easy to put himself out there and the last time he’d been persuaded to had been a lie. Given, Colette was nothing like most women.

  He glanced through the sliding door of the balcony where Colette was making an impromptu buffet for their lunch. She lifted her head and flashed a warm smile when their gazes locked.

  He gave a flicker of an answering smile back before he turned to Paul. “I got so distracted with introductions I forgot to ask you why you were here.”