A Heart of Little Faith

by Jennifer Wilck

  This put her in the position she was in today. After zipping through her emails, and jotting some notes, she headed into Anne’s office. Four hours later, she returned to her office for an attempt at a late lunch. After going back and forth with different ideas, and after speaking to both the VP of marketing and the CEO, they faced the prospect of either making this launch work as is, or getting fired from the account.

  Lily rested her head on her desk for a minute. Her phone buzzed and she sprung up again. Ugh. She picked it up. It was a text from Samantha.

  what did u think of the art show

  Images of Gideon’s chiseled features flashed in her mind.

  it was good. not necessarily my taste, but a good chance to get out

  i saw you and Gideon talking

  She shivered.

  yeah, for a little bit

  Lily bit her tongue. The last thing she wanted to do was discuss her brother. All she wanted to do now was go home and disappear into a tub of chocolate frosting.

  i may have to work late tonight. could you pick up Claire up from school for me

  no problem. i’ll keep her with me until you get home

  thanks. gotta run

  Lily put down the phone and stared absently at her manicure as she tried to assuage the guilt churning her stomach. Thanks to her insane client, it would probably be another late night. Sinking dejectedly into her desk chair, she stared with longing at Claire’s school photograph. The bright smile, twinkling brown eyes and ever-present pink outfit drew her in, taunted her, teased her with what she missed out on as she remained at work. Puffing her cheeks out in a balloon, she exhaled slowly and headed into Anne’s office.

  A few hours later, Lily thought she had something.

  “What about ease of use?” she asked, rubbing her eyes. They were gritty and dry as she blinked several times to bring the room into focus.

  “Yeah,” Anne said slowly. “What about it?”

  “Well, we can discuss how easy it is to install and to use. When we release the patch, we emphasize how easy it is to fix errors in the product and that…”

  “…drives our message home!” finished Anne. She whooped with excitement. “Lil, I think your idea just might work.”

  That evening, Anne stuck her head in Lily’s door. “Go home to that sweet girl of yours.”

  Lily grinned. “My thoughts exactly. Dinner and bedtime stories. There’s nothing better than that.”

  “I bet Samantha’s brother could tell you some lovely bedtime stories.” Anne’s cunning grin lingered as she left the office and Lily glared at her friend’s wide back.

  She fumed as she packed the last of her things. “Bedtime stories, indeed,” she muttered. She exited the office in a huff and attempted to ignore the flutter in her stomach at the thought of a deep voice whispering, “Once upon a time….”

  By the time she reached her apartment later that evening, she was close to her breaking point. Subway delays due to police activity, line transfers due to construction, and a sudden rainstorm without an umbrella added an hour to her commute home, leaving her later, wet and more frustrated than ever. Breathing deeply, she took the elevator to the fifth floor, glanced with longing across the hall at her own apartment and knocked on Samantha’s door.

  Samantha opened the door.

  “Sam, I’m sorry I’m late.” The words tumbled out of her mouth as she rushed inside. “Thank you so much for taking care of Claire. You know I can juggle three things. It’s the fourth one that’s the killer,” she rued.

  “I told you not to worry about it, Lil. Claire is fine, and I love having her here.” She shut the door and followed Lily inside.

  A peaceful aura emanated from Samantha’s apartment and Lily could almost feel her muscles relax as she entered and inhaled the potpourri-filled dwelling. Painted in soft lavender hues, the one-bedroom apartment reflected the artistic nature of its inhabitant. Light sisal rugs covered dark hardwood floors, while multicolored tapestries accented comfortable, oversized sofas and chairs. Black and white family photos covered the walls, and green plants and bright flowers provided extra color. Large unadorned windows overlooked Tompkins Square Park in the distance. Although thick, well-insulated glass windows muffled much of the sound outside, it was still possible on a quiet day to hear the traffic from the streets five floors below. Today was not such a day.

  Even before she entered the living room, Claire’s giggle pierced the typical silence of her friend’s apartment, and the telltale popping sound of “Trouble.” Wondering who Samantha had subjected to her mercenary daughter, Lily entered the living room. The sight stopped her dead in her tracks.

  Gideon. Of all the men to meet while I look like this, it has to be him.

  “Claire,” she whispered, but neither Claire nor Gideon heard her. Her daughter was too busy giggling uncontrollably. Her brown curls bobbed as she bounced around in excitement. Lily’s mouth dropped at Claire’s ease around Gideon. Since her father died, Claire’s contact with men was limited. Lily rarely dated and Claire tended to be shy around strange men. Not so with this man. Hmm.

  He turned around and nodded at Lily. “Hello.”

  The sound of his voice, that one little word, made Lily’s stomach go all jiggly inside and she swallowed as Gideon’s gaze roved from her wet, raggedy hair to her water-sloshed shoes.

  “Hi there.” She couldn’t deal with him now. Not in front of Claire. She took a deep breath and tried not to panic. Lily found Samantha standing behind her, smiling.

  “Lil, can I get you something to drink?” asked her traitorous friend.

  “No, Claire and I have to get home for dinner, and we’ve imposed on you and Gideon enough,” she said. “C’mon, Claire, we have to go.”

  This time, Claire heard her. “Oh, Mom, let me just finish this game, please?”

  “Why don’t you stay here for dinner, Lil? It’s no imposition at all.”

  Lily rolled her shoulders and shook her head. After the day she’d had, she could not face another sparring match with Gideon. “Thanks, but I’m exhausted and just want to get home and put my feet up. Maybe another day. C’mon, Claire. Finish the game quickly so we can go.”

  She followed Samantha into the green-accented galley kitchen. A Venetian ceiling fan provided light and air flow. Boxes of herbal teas sat on the counter, and Samantha boiled water for her favorite: green tea with ginseng.

  “I didn’t realize your brother was over.” Lily asked, shaking her head no when Samantha offered her a cup. “I hope I didn’t ruin any plans you two had.”

  “He was coming for dinner, so I invited him over early when I heard I’d be watching Claire. He loves kids. They’ve been playing all afternoon.”

  A sexy man who loved kids. Now her insides were even more jiggly. Maybe she’s somehow stumbled on the right man. “Oh wow. I’d really better go rescue him.”

  “Leave them be, Lil. Seriously, they’re fine. He’s having a ball with her.”

  Lily entered the living room and despite her misgivings, smiled. Claire danced around waving her arms in the air, while Gideon groaned, supporting his head in his hands. Lily sympathized. Six-year-olds had neither empathy nor tact when it came to winning. She should know. The two of them spent hours every weekend playing this latest passion. “Claire, honey, what are you doing?”

  “I’m beating the pants off Gideon, Mommy,” she yelled with a grin.

  Gideon stared with amusement at the little girl. “Oh yeah, this is the fourth game, and she’s beating me again,” he affirmed as he put the game away, keeping his head down.

  “I hope she behaved well. Claire, you were a good girl for Samantha and Gideon, right, sweetie?” She leaned and kissed the top of her daughter’s brown head, inhaling the sweet combination of fruity shampoo and sweat. She reveled in its scent.

  “Yes, Mom,” she answered in an exasperated six-year-old voice.

  “She was great, Lily,” Gideon replied. “We had a good time, didn’t we, ClaireB
ear?”

  “You bet!” Claire ran over and hugged him. Lily stared in surprise. “Thanks for playing with me.”

  “Next time, I’m going to beat you!” he taunted.

  “No way!” she yelled as she headed toward the door. “C’mon Mom, I’m hungry.”

  “Coming, baby,” Lily responded. “Thanks again for playing with her. Bye, Samantha.”

  As the door shut, Gideon heard them discuss what to cook for dinner. The apartment stilled and he stared after them. In the background, the faint sounds of car horns and bus engines on Avenue C wafted into the apartment. Samantha patted his shoulder and he jumped.

  “She’s a great kid, isn’t she?”

  “Yeah, she is. And smart too. You should have heard the things she told me.”

  “Her mom is sweet too. They moved in a few months ago. She lost her husband in a car accident in Philadelphia three years ago. It’s sad, she—”

  “Enough, Sam, I know where you’re going and you can stop right now.”

  Ever since his accident, his sister had been after him to date. No matter how often he resisted, she always pushed. And now, she was going for the jugular. It didn’t matter how perfect Lily and Claire might be, Samantha wasn’t going to succeed in setting them up.

  “The only place I’m going is into the kitchen,” she countered airily over her shoulder. “What do you want for dinner?”

  Gideon followed her into the kitchen, but he couldn’t get the Claire or her mother out of his mind.

  Chapter 2

  Friday night, Lily sat in front of her mirror, applied her makeup and brushed her hair. It had been three days since she’d last seen Gideon and her stomach was fluttery.

  “You look pretty, Mommy.” Claire watched every brush of blush, stroke of hair and pat of powder. She mimicked Lily’s movements. “Can I have some?”

  “Of course, sweetie.” Lily sat Claire in front of her and swept light blush on her smooth cheeks. “Ooh, look at you.”

  “I’m a princess!” Claire pushed herself off Lily’s lap and twirled around the room. Lily wished Daniel could see her. He would have loved to watch his daughter grow up. Claire reminded her of Daniel more as she grew older. She had his smile, his sense of humor, his intelligence and his nose.

  Willing her thoughts in a different direction, she thought about tonight. Samantha had invited her to go to the movies with her and Gideon. She’d been reluctant to infringe on their time together, but Samantha had insisted. It had been a long time since she’d seen a movie without a cartoon character, and she was giddy. Or maybe it was the idea of spending time with Gideon. He threw her off balance, like a sailboat that listed in the wind. What started out as enjoyable banter the other night quickly disintegrated into contentiousness, and Lily’s face heated at the memory. Yet, when she remembered how his hair fell over his forehead, the spicy scent of his aftershave, the deep gentleness of his voice and his rapport with Claire, her blush deepened. This is ridiculous. He paid more attention to Claire than to me. It’s a night at the movies with Sam. She applied a deep pink lipstick, pressed her lips together and answered the door for the babysitter.

  “Hi, Tara. Come on in.” She opened the door wide for the teenager in front of her. “Claire, Tara is here!”

  “Please don’t go out Mommy. I want you.” Claire rushed over and hugged her so hard Lily could barely breathe.

  She gently pried her away. Claire’s pajamas were cottony beneath her fingers, which belied the vice-like grip she held around her waist. “Honey, I love you, but I’m just going out for a little while. You’re going to bed in a few minutes and won’t even know I’m gone.”

  “Yes, I will,” Claire pouted. “What if I have a bad dream?”

  “That’s why Tara’s here.” Lily threw the babysitter an apologetic glance as her daughter flounced into her bedroom, her footsteps pounding out her disappointment. She felt a pang of guilt. Claire wanted to spend time with her, something she hadn’t been able to do lately. With a sigh, Lily paused in Claire’s doorway and rested her cheek on the cool, hard wood. “How about we do something special this weekend, just the two of us?”

  Claire grinned, all traces of her disappointment magically erased. She hugged Lily, but not as hard as before. “Will you come in to check on me when you get home?”

  Lily ruffled her curls and kissed the top of her head as she took one last sniff of her daughter’s fruity shampoo. “Absolutely.”

  “Promise?”

  “I promise, Claire.”

  “Hey, Claire, I brought the nail polish I told you about the other night,” Tara interrupted. “Do you remember?”

  “Oh yeah. Mommy, can I wear it?” Her voice was high and breathy.

  Lily nodded. “But just remember you have to listen to Tara, okay?”

  “Okay, Mommy.”

  “Tara, she has to be in bed by eight. And I should be home by ten or so, if that’s okay.”

  “Sure, Ms. Livingston, no problem.”

  “Mommy, are you going out with Samantha tonight?”

  “Yes, honey, we’re going to a movie.”

  “Will Gideon be there?”

  Lily blinked. “Um, yeah, he will be,” she answered, surprised Claire asked. She hadn’t realized he’d made such a big impression on her.

  Claire’s grin was blinding. “Tell him I say hi, okay? He’s really nice.”

  “I will. Now, have fun with Tara and I’ll kiss you goodnight when I get home.” Lily blew her a kiss as she waved goodbye and walked over to Samantha’s apartment. She took a deep breath to relieve her tension and knocked on the door.

  “Hi, Lil, come on in. I’m almost ready.” Samantha held the door open and Lily entered. Samantha finished packing her purse and grabbed her coat. “Gideon’s meeting us at the Landmark. Let’s go.”

  At the theater, Lily’s senses went into overload as the buttery aroma of popcorn, the squealing teenagers and the bumping crowds overwhelmed her. She and Sam searched the crowd for Gideon and found him near the ticket booth, talking on his cell phone.

  When he saw them, he waved, finished his conversation, and hung up. “Sorry about that. Hi, Sam. Hello, Lily.”

  “Hey.” Samantha leaned to kiss him. Lily waved.

  “I bought the tickets.” He handed them to Samantha.

  “Thanks,” Lily said and took the one Samantha offered. She addressed Gideon. “How much do I owe you?”

  “Don’t worry about it now. You can get my coffee later and we’ll figure it out then.”

  “Okay. Oh, before I forget, Claire says hi.”

  “Tell her hi back. She’s sweet, you know? And funny, too.” As Gideon described Claire, his face lit up, and the hard lines around his mouth softened.

  “Yeah, I do. She takes after her dad. It’s all I can do sometimes to keep from laughing at the things she says.” Did Gideon have a sense of humor? And if so, what was it like?

  He headed toward the theater, and she and Sam followed behind. Gideon and his chair acted like Moses parting the water for the Hebrews as they escaped Egypt. The crowds parted conspicuously for them and they made their way unencumbered into the theater.

  Inside, they chose a row toward the middle that could accommodate wheelchairs. Samantha squeezed in first and suggested Lily sit between them. Gideon shot his sister a stern glare and wheeled his chair next to the row. He clenched his jaw and stared straight ahead.

  Lily didn’t want a replay of the other night. Instead, she chatted with Samantha quietly.

  A few minutes, and several deep breaths later, Gideon leaned toward her. “Samantha tells me you’re in PR?”

  Lily tried not to lose herself in his hazel eyes. In the dim lights, framed by wire rims, they were coffee colored—deep and rich. “Yes, I work with tech clients. An annoying one in particular right now.” She ignored the twinge of guilt from speaking ill of a client in public.

  “Annoying, how?” he asked as he leaned toward her.

  She explained the curren
t mess at work, taking care not to give too much away. He nodded with a smile as she described the impossible situation. “Apparently, we’re supposed to be magicians,” she said, conscious of his deep-throated sound that made her insides tremble. She continued, her speech slightly higher than normal. “Abracadabra, zippity zoo, we say the software’s secure, so it must be true! I think we’ve finally convinced them, though, and hopefully everything will work out by Monday.” Her chest started to tighten from the stress of thinking about her client. With a concerted effort, she changed the subject. “Sam told me you’re in pharmaceuticals?”

  “Yeah, I’m a marketing executive with a pharmaceutical company. That was one of my associates on the phone back there. I don’t often take my work home with me, but we have a new drug we’re introducing next month, and there are still some details to work out.” He shifted slightly. “Samantha said you’d recently moved here from Philly?”

  “I grew up in this area, but I moved back here from Philadelphia.” As the theater darkened, the previews began. Lily made quiet comments about them, which made Gideon chuckle. The sound reverberated low in her belly and she shifted in her chair.

  After the movie, they crossed the busy street to a nondescript coffee shop. It smelled of grounds, grease and garlic, but somehow, the combination was not unpleasant. Muted sounds of patrons’ conversations provided background noise and they found a table toward the back as they flagged down a waitress and motioned for coffee.

  They talked about the movie, and Samantha reminisced about events and stories from their childhood. Gideon drummed his fingers on the cool Formica table as Samantha’s stories dragged on. He glared at her, but it had less effect than Lily’s laughter, which seemed to encourage her. He cleared his throat, but Samantha offered him a glass of water and continued.