A Heart of Little Faith

by Jennifer Wilck

  “I’d like that too,” she murmured. He exhaled.

  ****

  Lily paused outside the community center the next evening. It was only five thirty, but for once in her life she wasn’t late. If she’d stayed at her apartment with Tara and Claire, she feared she’d have difficulty leaving. Since the two of them were involved in an activity, she’d slipped away. She’d debated browsing in the bookstore until six o’clock, but it seemed silly to go for a short time. By the time she got there, she’d have to leave again. Hopefully, Gideon wouldn’t mind her arriving early. Gideon. Giving him a second chance was scary. So many times he’d pushed her away, thrown up walls and yelled at her for no reason. But there were chinks in his armor, and through those chinks she’d seen the man he kept hidden. And that man? That man was worth a second chance.

  She opened the door and a cacophony of noises assaulted her—children yelling, whistles blowing, music blaring. She drank it all in. Nothing like the exuberance of kids to relieve her daily stress. As she crossed the main lobby, she peeked into the gymnasium. A bunch of boys played basketball, the sounds of rubber against polyurethane muted through the fire doors, but Gideon wasn’t with them. She moved on to the game room, where the pings, squawks and beeps of video games kept kids’ eyes glued to the screen. Still nothing. As she entered the study hall, the sounds of pen scratching greeted her as some kids did homework while others watched TV. Tony sat at a desk monitoring the kids and finishing paperwork.

  “Hey Tony, have you seen Gideon? We’re meeting for dinner, but I’m a little early.”

  “Last I saw him he was at the pool.” He stared at her. “Things between you are okay now? Last night…”

  She nodded. “We had a long talk.”

  “I hope you gave him hell,” he said. “I certainly did.”

  She circled round the desk and hugged him. “Thank you.”

  He patted her back. “You’re welcome. Pool is down the hall to your left—follow the chlorine smell. You can’t miss it.”

  Lily huffed and waved before following Tony’s directions. She did indeed smell chlorine as she walked down the hall. Children’s artwork—some of it well done—hung on yellow-painted cement block walls. Three doors down, past the girls’ and boys’ locker rooms, she found the pool entrance. She pushed open the door, stood there and waited to adjust to the change in temperature. It had to be eighty-something degrees, and in her pantsuit and jacket, she started to sweat. Not the best thing to do before a date. She pictured her hair frizzing in the humidity. She removed her jacket and folded it over her arm then scanned the pool area.

  Colorful buoys and ropes bobbed in the water and divided the Olympic-sized pool into swim lanes. A board on the wall at one end of the pool listed swim team members and their times. At the other end, a raised area housed a hot tub. Signs posted around the pool reminded swimmers to shower before entering, not to run and not to dive in the shallow end. The bleachers, like much of the pool, were empty. In fact, there was only one swimmer in the pool, using lane three. He wore black swim trunks and goggles and swam freestyle from one end to the other without stopping. She instantly recognized Gideon, and stared at him.

  His hair was a deep honey color when wet. His body was long and lean; the upper body strong and powerful. Muscles bulged as he sliced his arms gracefully through the water. In the pool, he moved with a grace and fluidity he couldn’t attain on land and Lily got a glimpse of what he must have been like before his accident. Her heart ached for him, but she was also proud of the man he’d become. He swam several more laps, and although she’d made no noise nor drawn any attention to herself, Gideon looked up before beginning the next lap. He swam over to the edge of the pool, pushed his goggles on his head and folded his arms on the edge.

  “Hi. Am I running late?” Water dripped down his face and shoulders and his eyes lit up.

  “No, I’m early,” Lily squatted and rested her elbows on her knees. “I hope you don’t mind.”

  “No, I just hope you won’t be bored.” He rubbed his face.

  She raked her gaze over his muscular, glistening body and smirked. “Oh, I won’t be.” Not at all. It took all her strength not to lick her lips.

  He reddened as he said, “Let me finish my laps and shower. I should be ready in about twenty minutes. Is that okay?” There was a softness about him, an ease she hadn’t seen before.

  “Don’t worry about me.” Lily rose and approached the bleachers, as she continued to stare at him over her shoulder. She sat and observed as he completed five more laps. He got out of the pool, grabbed a towel, climbed into his chair and wheeled into the locker room.

  Seventeen minutes later he emerged showered and dressed and met her in the lobby. She checked her watch. “Wow, you’re punctual.”

  “I don’t like to keep ladies waiting.” He held the door for her as they exited the center together. Already, things were improving.

  ****

  As promised, the Amici’s soufflé was amazing, as was the rest of the meal.

  Between courses, Lily and Gideon teased each other. She was amazed by the easy repartee and comfort level, and desire and relief washed over her. This was the Gideon she’d hoped for. After a dinner of filet of sole, veal Française, salads, wine and two chocolate soufflés—Lily refused to share—Gideon suggested a stroll toward the park. Hansom cabs trotted by. Well-dressed people entered and exited fancy apartment buildings. She invented stories about what she thought they were doing. Gideon embellished them, and incorporated different tones and accents. After laughing until she got a stomachache, they headed the way they’d come.

  “Thanks for dinner.” Lily paused in front of the restaurant. She pointed and flexed her foot and smoothed the front of her clothes.

  “You’re welcome. I had fun.” His attitude had an easygoing charm to it, a new-found confidence Lily found appealing.

  Lily smiled. “I did too.” Her skin tingled from the surprise.

  He took both of her hands in his and stroked them gently. The tips of his fingers glided over her skin and mesmerized her. She shivered. He traced slow circles up and around her wrists. He raised her fingers to his lips and when she could wait no longer, he kissed her. He tasted like chocolate, and she pushed her tongue against his, wanting more.

  He stroked her body, making her ache. Her pulse quickened as his kiss deepened and her breasts strained behind the fabric of her blouse. He continued downward. The span of both hands almost reached around her waist, and he rubbed his fingers in a circular motion at the base of her spine as she opened her mouth and their tongues met. He squeezed, pulling her closer to him. Her breathing grew harsh as their kiss deepened and she caressed his shoulders, along his back, up to his neck. She closed her eyes as his lips pressed against hers and she brushed the strands of his hair. He plunged his tongue inside.

  She opened her eyes. The glare from a street lamp made her blink and returned her to reality. “Wait,” she said. What had she done? He paused and she pushed away from him.

  “Lily, what’s wrong.” His shoulders heaved, his hair was mussed and his eyes behind his frames were dark with desire.

  Her pulse pounded and her body was hot from his embrace, but this was the first time they were kissing on a date. The first time she was dating since Daniel. She didn’t know what to do. It was new and different and her chest tightened. Guilt washed over her—guilt about Daniel and Gideon. She stood and straightened her clothes, her thoughts running in a million different directions. “I told Tara I’d be home by ten.” She couldn’t tell him the real reason. He wouldn’t understand.

  “Lily, what’s wrong?” He repeated the question, concern oozing from him.

  “I…I’m sorry. I can’t do this right now. Thank you for dinner.” She needed a chance to catch her breath.

  A cab approached and Gideon opened the door for her. She hated herself for the insecure look he gave her. Inside the cab, Lily let out a breath as tears poured down her cheeks. This man, so differ
ent from Daniel, could elicit such strong responses from her body. Was she betraying Daniel’s memory if she let herself enjoy them? If she let herself, she could fall completely for him, could love him with her entire heart. As much as she’d wanted a relationship with Gideon, was she ready for one?

  It wasn’t fair to start something until she could answer that question.

  Chapter 18

  A rustling noise interrupted Stella’s concentration. She saw bags shuffle toward her. Lots of bags—there were at least three plastic garment bags from Bloomingdales, several shopping bags from Barneys, and a black leather purse. She tipped her head to the side and managed to glimpse bits and pieces of a woman—slim ankles, dark hair, a manicured hand. With a grunt, the bags, purse, ankles, hair and hand stopped in front of her desk.

  “You must be Stella,” the woman holding the packages said as she plopped the bags onto the empty chair next to the desk. The lovely young woman dressed in a gray business suit and heels stretch her neck and shoulder muscles in relief. She looked like a Gemini—friendly but superficial. Stella gritted her teeth and waited. The last thing Gideon needed was superficiality.

  “I’m Lily.” She glanced over her shoulder at the now buried chair and ducked her head. “I hope you don’t mind, but I’m going to fall over if I have to carry this stuff any longer.” She held her hand out to Stella. “I think we’ve spoken on the phone a few times.”

  Stella kept her face expressionless as she greeted Lily. She hadn’t required the introduction. She’d recognized the velvet voice with the girlish lilt as soon as she’d heard it. This was the woman Gideon was smitten with, although he hadn’t come out and said as much to her. But she’d heard him soften when he spoke to Lily on the phone, witnessed a hopefulness come over him, and could tell he’d lost his heart. She’d listened to his stories about Lily’s daughter and admired the colorful crayon drawings he’d brought to his office, pictures the little girl made for him.

  Stella should have been giddy with delight. She had waited for this moment for years. Three years, two months and four days, to be precise. Lily was the first woman Gideon showed any interest in since his accident. Her heart ached whenever she remembered how she’d listened to him, delirious with pain, cry out after Elaine and beg her to stay with him. She’d never let him know what she’d heard; instead she’d kept his awful secret to herself, as he isolated himself from anyone in a skirt.

  She’d suggested numerous times he go out with different women, but he’d never shown any interest or expressed any desire to open his heart again. Until now. But a Gemini? If she had anything to do with it, no woman would hurt Gideon again. For years, Stella ensured business annoyances didn’t disturb Gideon. Now she would prevent personal disasters from hurting him as well. She’d read his tealeaves to see if this woman was right for him, but when he’d caught her, he’d taken the cup away and thrown the leaves in the drain. He hadn’t talked to her for a week. She loved him like a son. If he thought she’d give up that easily, he didn’t know her very well.

  “Yes, I recognized your voice,” Stella finally answered. “You’re the one with the daughter.”

  Stella pinned Lily with her stare, trying to read her thoughts, or scare her away. Instead, to her surprise, the woman pasted a smile on her face and confronted her head on. “Yes, that’s right. My daughter’s name is Claire, and she is in love with your boss.”

  Stella softened. “I think the feeling is mutual, if Mr. Stone’s descriptions are to be believed. He thinks that girl of yours is the brightest, most beautiful girl ever created.”

  Lily smiled. “Oh it is, believe me. She positively adores him.”

  Stella nodded toward what was once a chair. “Shopping?”

  Lily blushed. “Gideon invited me to his friend Tony’s wedding. Actually, it’s Tony’s sister’s wedding. It’s been a while since I’ve been to a wedding, so I went shopping for a dress, and as you can see, I’m a little out of practice.” She shrugged. “I couldn’t decide which dress I liked better. I thought I’d let Gideon pick. And of course, I bought purses and shoes to match each one. So, here I am with all this stuff—I feel like such a girl!”

  Stella began to relax and her lips lost some of their disapproving pucker. This woman who stood in front of her liked Gideon. Possibly as much as he liked her. Why else would she go to so much trouble to find an outfit to wear? The woman was gorgeous; it wasn’t as if anything would look bad on her. No, she went to this trouble because she wanted to please Gideon. Maybe she wasn’t a Gemini. She acted more like a Sagittarius. Not like that Elaine he’d dated before the accident. That woman was a Scorpio—a true control freak. She’d gone and picked out Gideon’s clothes for him, as if she were afraid he’d embarrass her if left to his own devices. No, she didn’t know this Lily well, but so far, things were good. Maybe she’d sneak another try and read her tealeaves sometime.

  “So he asked you to the wedding?”

  “He did. In his own fashion, of course.” At Stella’s confusion, Lily continued. “Well, he asked me as part of our arrangement, then he tried to get out of it, then he agreed if only to make me happy, as if I was the one who invited him in the first place.” Lily snorted. “Men!”

  “Obviously you said yes,” Stella said, as she drew Lily out.

  “Obviously. I haven’t been this excited in a while.” Lily fingered the bags and bit her lower lip. Seeing her look of approval, Lily blushed. “I’m not sure he knows I think it will be fun, but I plan to convince him.” She leaned forward and whispered. “We went on a date the other night and the ending, well, it was a little rocky. But it was my fault and I plan to make it up to him. I know you hardly know me, but please don’t say anything to him about our conversation; I don’t want to scare him away.”

  This one’s a keeper. Anyone who cared for Gideon as much as she obviously did, who looked out for him as she did, was definitely someone who was good for him. As Lily said, whether he knew it or not was a different story.

  “He told you about the arrangement, right?”

  Stella agreed. “For such a smart man, he can be dense.” She’d heard about the arrangement. At first, she’d thought it was ridiculous, but then she thought it was a good method for Gideon to get his dating feet wet again. Her eyes watered when she’d overheard him on the phone asking Lily to a function, and saw how tense and nervous he was. At the time, she hoped whoever this Lily was, she would recognize how difficult this was for him and go easy on him. As she listened to her now, she could see her fears were unfounded.

  Lily grinned. “Isn’t that the truth? But whatever the reason, he asked me and I want him to love the dress I wear. Is he available?” Lily peered over Stella’s shoulder into Gideon’s empty office.

  Stella sat up with a start. She’d been so intent on interrogating Lily she’d forgotten all about Gideon. “He should be back any minute. You can sit here and wait for him if you want.”

  ****

  Ten minutes later, Gideon arrived. “Lily, what are you doing here?” After their kiss the other night, the last thing he’d expected was a surprise visit from her. He frowned at Stella and hoped she hadn’t bothered Lily. She tended to get possessive over him. “Please tell me I arrived before Stella read your horoscope,” he pleaded as he searched in vain for teacups.

  “Oh, you shush,” Stella snapped, but tempered it with a laugh that sounded like church bells chiming. Lily loaded all of her packages into her arms to follow Gideon into his office.

  “Good lord, did you leave anything for anyone else?” He grabbed a lap-load of bags and led the way.

  “A few things, I think, although not much in a size six,” she grunted. They entered and shut the door.

  “What is all this stuff?” And why was she bringing it here?

  “Hello to you, too,” she countered and dumped everything onto a chair in his office.

  “Hello. Now what is all this stuff?”

  “Well, I went dress shopping at lunch and I couldn’t
decide what dress I should wear to the wedding. I thought I’d let you choose. Of course, it won’t be the same on the hanger, but if there’s anything you hate, I can return it right away. The rest I can try on for you later.”

  Gideon frowned at her packages in confusion. “Whatever you pick is fine, Lily.”

  She took a deep breath and slowed down. “I want you to like what I wear to the wedding. I want to make you happy. And I want to apologize for the other night. It wasn’t you. I got scared.”

  For the first time since the kiss, he relaxed. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  “You didn’t. It’s just…” She paused and bit her lip. “You’re the first man I’ve been with since Daniel died and…”

  “And you got scared.” He squeezed her hand. She was the first woman he’d been with since Elaine. He understood her fears better than she knew.

  Lily swallowed. “Yes. I’ve thought about you often, but that kiss, it made it all real. I needed time to process it.”

  “And have you?” He rubbed his hands along his thighs.

  “Yes. And I’m ready for you. Now please look at this stuff. I want to make you happy.”

  He couldn’t contain the grin that stretched his cheeks. “You make me happy regardless of what you wear.”

  “Gideon.” Her face reminded him of how his sister used to flare her nostrils when he refused to do what she wanted. He bit the insides of his cheeks. If she had any idea how cute she was when angry… He shook his head to clear his thoughts. Although he’d never admit it, he loved her annoyed expression—all hot and bothered, blowing short bursts of air at her bangs in an effort to move them, and possibly the annoyance itself, out of her way. His fingers itched to feel the silky texture of her bangs on her soft skin, and… He sat on his hands. Suspecting more than words would come next from her, and not trusting his own reactions, he relented and studied the three dresses she held up.