A Heart of Little Faith

by Jennifer Wilck

  Lily started to push away the covers. Gideon stopped her. “Do you mind if I try something with her?”

  “Be my guest.” She sank onto the pillows. “She’s all yours.”

  He followed Claire. “Hey, ClaireBear, what’s wrong?” He maneuvered next to her bed, where she sat hunched over, her fists bunched and her face sporting a glare worthy of him in his darkest moods. He held back a chuckle.

  “I’m angry!” She turned away from him. Her rounded back illuminated her spine through her shirt; Gideon saw all of her vertebrae, and he ran his finger down each one. Usually, this tickled Claire and provoked at least a giggle from her. This time, though, she didn’t say a word.

  “What are you angry about?” he prodded, when the silence stretched.

  “Mom!”

  “What about your mom?”

  “She always has to get her way. I want to stay up and she won’t let me!”

  He pulled her into a brief hug. Like her daughter, he wanted to spend every second with Lily as well. “Don’t you have school tomorrow?”

  Claire nodded without a sound.

  “You don’t want to be too tired to enjoy it, do you?”

  She faced him. “I don’t care!”

  Gideon sat back. “I think you do. How about you get ready for bed and I’ll read you a story. Is it a deal?”

  Claire remained motionless for a moment. Her body relaxed and she relented.

  “One thing though,” he said and leaned into her. “You have to go say you’re sorry to your mom for yelling at her. Okay?”

  She followed him into Lily’s bedroom, where Lily sat under the covers and tried to read a book. Claire climbed onto the bed and snuggled into her mom. “I’m sorry, Mommy.”

  Lily hugged her and kissed the top of her head, her nose rubbing her soft locks. “That’s okay, sweetie. I missed you so much. I love you.”

  “I love you, too, Mommy.” She hopped off the bed and ran into her room. “Gideon’s going to read me a story!” she yelled from her bedroom.

  “That’s great, Claire,” she called out. Then to him, “Thanks for handling that.”

  His lungs expanded with the knowledge that he was able to do something for the two of them. “No problem. I’d love to put her to bed.”

  Five minutes later, Claire was in her pajamas, teeth brushed and face washed. Her shiny face glowed and she smelled like soap. She held one of her favorite books. Gideon took it, and led her into her bedroom. Claire climbed under the covers and he sat next to the head of the bed and examined the book.

  “Piggy Pie?” He flipped through it and ran his palms over the shiny cover.

  “It’s my favorite.”

  “Okay, well, lie under the covers and get comfortable.”

  Claire snuggled and hugged her hippo as Gideon began to read. He kept his baritone voice mellifluous and soothing and used different accents for the pigs, the ducks, the cows, the farmer and the witch. A few minutes later, he closed her bedroom door and came over to Lily.

  “All set?” she asked.

  “Sound asleep,” he replied with a smile.

  Just then, Samantha knocked on the door. “Hi guys,” she chirped. “My turn?”

  Lily looked from Gideon to Samantha. “You know, it’s not necessary for you to be with me twenty-four hours a day. I can take care of myself.”

  “We know, but we want to help.” Samantha placed a glass of water on Lily’s night table.

  “You’ve helped a lot already,” Lily answered. “Both of you have.”

  “It’s our pleasure,” Samantha said.

  “Now, get some rest tonight and I’ll see you in the morning.” Gideon followed Samantha to the bedroom door.

  “What, no goodnight kiss?” Lily joked. Gideon’s face heated as Samantha choked on a laugh and escaped, leaving them alone. He waited until Samantha had truly left, and then, he came over to the bed.

  “Was that necessary?”

  Lily shrugged, an innocent look on her face. “I didn’t know kissing me was such a chore.”

  Gideon snorted and leaned over. He grasped her face and brushed her lips with his. Relief she was okay flooded through him and he pressed his lips to hers harder. He grasped the nape of her neck and wound his fingers through her hair.

  Lily stroked his neck and slid her arms around him as her lips met his. When they pulled apart, they were both panting.

  “Better?” he asked as he stared at her swollen lips. They begged him for more, and it was all he could do not to grab her and taste her lips again and again and again.

  “Much better,” she answered with a smile.

  With a firm grip on his libido, he exited the room. He felt better, too.

  ****

  For the next few days, Gideon and Samantha moved in to take care of her and Claire. Strong and bull-headed as usual, he wouldn’t let her walk for her first two days home. He carried her or got things for her and gave her no privacy at all, except when she forced him to leave the bathroom. Then, he waited right outside her door, as if convinced she’d come to irreparable harm if he left her on her own for more than a minute.

  While Lily appreciated their efforts, she had never been one to languish in bed all day, and by Saturday, she was bored and ready to scream. Tension from her confinement made her head pound and her temper short. They both drove her crazy. Especially Gideon. He mother-henned her so much, she breathed a sigh of relief when he was gone and Samantha relieved him, although she was no improvement.

  “Gideon, this is getting ridiculous,” she sighed in exasperation. “I’m fine. The doctor wouldn’t have discharged me otherwise.”

  “I know you’re fine, but you’ve been through a rough time, you’re still recovering and I’m going to make sure you have a chance to regain your strength.” He came in with a tray piled with nutritious foods—barley soup, whole grain bread and a banana. Lily’s body waged a war against itself – her mouth watered at the appetizing aroma, but her stomach churned at the thought of another meal in bed.

  She took a sip of soup and a bite of banana and reached for the phone as she struggled to swallow. “I have to call Anne and find out what’s going on at work.” Before her fingers could reach it, Gideon pulled the phone away from her.

  “It’s the weekend. Finish eating.” He folded his arms and waited for her to obey him. He reminded her of a rock, and Lily longed for a chisel.

  She glared at him. “What did you do that for? I told you I have to call Anne.”

  “I know you do, and you can. But after you eat. You have to regain your strength, and the only way to do that is to eat well. You’re too skinny.” His gaze traveled from the top of her head to the ends of her pink-painted toes, with a significant pause at the V in her pajama top, and despite her anger, Lily burned under his gaze. She swallowed as she attempted to replace desire with annoyance.

  She wolfed down a few hasty bites, pushed the tray away and jumped out of bed before Gideon could stop her. “The only way to regain my strength is to get moving.” She glowered at him, her fists balled on her hips.

  As they snarled at each other, Samantha entered. “Well, I’m glad to see you two getting along well,” she said with false brightness.

  “Gideon won’t let me out of bed.” Her head swiveled from Gideon to Samantha to the door as she judged the fastest route out of the room. Gideon could definitely overpower her if she ran past him, and Samantha might be able to block her if she jumped across the bed. She gritted her teeth in frustration.

  Samantha stared at both of them for a minute. “Gideon, can I speak to you out here for a sec?”

  Lily and Gideon protested. Loudly. Samantha stamped her foot.

  “Enough!” Surprised at her outburst, both she and Gideon paused mid-yell. “Lily, he is my brother and I can talk to him privately anytime I want. Gideon, when your sister asks to speak to you, you don’t say no.”

  Reprimanded, Lily flounced against the bed pillows while Gideon followed her out the bedroom
door.

  From the bedroom, Lily heard only quiet bursts of whispering. As she sat in bed, her annoyance built to frustration then to anger. Although she’d been relieved to have the room to herself, she hated being excluded. The only thing she hated more was being talked about. She got out of bed and tiptoed to the door. The two were so engrossed in their conversation, they didn’t notice her.

  “…know you’re right,” Gideon whispered and ran his hands through his hair. “You have no idea how scared I was when I saw her lying in that hospital bed.”

  Samantha met his gaze. “Yeah, I think I do.”

  He flushed. “Okay, maybe you do. But you can’t expect me to just abandon her.”

  “Gideon, letting her do things for herself is not abandoning her.” She kneeled and leaned into her brother. “Not everyone abandoned you, either.”

  He stiffened and reversed his chair, dissolving the physical contact between him and his sister. “We’re not talking about me.”

  Samantha stood and folded her arms over her chest. “Okay. But think about how you felt, how you still feel, when people baby you.”

  “But I want to take care of her to show her how much I care about her.”

  “Couldn’t you find another way to show her?”

  The raw emotion in his voice tore through Lily, tamped down her anger and made her feel guilty for spying on his private conversation. She shut the door and hopped into bed to consider his words. She raised her head as he returned.

  “I’m sorry I’ve been bossy,” he said as he approached the bed.

  “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’m just bored with lying here and I want to get up and do something.” She wasn’t used to lying in bed and being taken care of.

  “I know. And I don’t mean to coddle you, either.” He smiled at her. “More than anyone, I should know better.”

  She held out her hand. “Hello, kettle, I’m pot. You’re black.”

  They shook hands with silly grins on their faces, and the tension evaporated. She stifled a yawn.

  “Did I tire you out?” Concern etched his face. “I can’t believe how thoughtless that was of me. Here you are recuperating and…”

  Lily covered his mouth. Gideon’s eyes flashed in anger, but then he licked her palm. She pulled her hand away quickly.

  “That’s what you get for trying to shut me up,” he replied.

  “I wasn’t trying to shut you up,” she retorted. “I was trying to end the self-flagellation barrage.”

  “The what?”

  Lily sat. “I’m fine. I was sick, but I’m not anymore, and you have to stop treating me like I’m an invalid. I think I’m quite capable of deciding what I can and can’t do. I appreciate your taking care of me, I do, but I’m not a piece of china.”

  “I know.” His voice got hoarse. “You scared me though. When I saw you lying on that bed, something inside me just…” He cleared his throat and stroked her face. “I’m sorry for treating you like a child these past few days.”

  Lily bit her lip. “Well, I don’t know if I’d describe it quite that way.”

  Gideon hugged her. “Good thing. Seriously, I’m sorry.”

  “Me too.” They hugged again, but the slam of Lily’s front door interrupted them.

  “Hello? Everyone decent in there?” Samantha called out as she entered the apartment.

  Lily met Samantha in the living room.

  “So, everything okay between you two?”

  “Just fine,” Lily answered as a blush crept up her cheeks. “You know, you don’t have to stay with me tonight. Claire’s asleep and I’m totally fine.”

  “Mmm hmm,” Samantha smirked. “You lookin’ for some alone time with my brother?”

  Lily rolled her eyes.

  “All right, I’ll leave you alone. In all ways.” Samantha started to leave. “Tell Gideon I’ll talk to him tomorrow.” The two women hugged, and Lily went to check on Claire as Samantha left the apartment.

  She bent and lightly kissed Claire on the cheek. Claire smelled like sweat and sleep, and Lily inhaled. She’d missed her baby. She adjusted the sheet and left, bumping into Gideon outside the door.

  “Is she asleep?” Gideon asked as he reached out to steady her.

  Lily sighed. “This late, I’d hope so.”

  “I’d better go. I don’t want Claire waking and finding me here.”

  “She wouldn’t think anything of it, especially after the past few days.” They’d gelled, becoming like a team, or even a family.

  Gideon took her hand and kissed it, his gaze warm. “I know, but I think it’s better if I go.”

  Chapter 23

  Sunday evening, two weeks later, Lily put the finishing touches on dinner as she inhaled the paprika scent. Tom was due to arrive any minute and she had made stuffed cabbage, an old family recipe and one of Tom’s favorites. When the doorbell rang, she licked a spot of brown sugar off her thumb, wiped her hands on the dishtowel, called to Claire and raced to the door. She opened it, a wide smile on her face.

  “Tom!” she squealed. She wrapped her arms around him. On tiptoe, she could barely reach his neck. At 6’4” and approximately 220 pounds, he dwarfed her. Bushy brown hair, mustache and trimmed beard made her think of a bear, a characteristic driven home as he scooped her in a huge hug. His familiar sandalwood scent carried her to Philadelphia and her heart pounded.

  “Lily, it’s great to see you,” he rumbled in his deep voice. His blue eyes twinkled as he examined her. “You look gorgeous, doll, you know that?”

  She covered her confusion with a punch to his arm. “Your empty flattery hasn’t changed, I see.”

  “With you, it’s sincere.” He followed her into the apartment. “Nice place you have. Where’s Claire?”

  She took his jacket, her fingers feathering the soft wool, and called to Claire again. “She’s in her room playing.”

  Just then, Claire came out. “Hey, Claire, do you remember Tom?” Claire nodded wide-eyed and rushed over to her mother.

  Tom kneeled to her level. “Hi, Claire, you’ve gotten big since I last saw you.” He held out a candy bar. “I know I’m a little late, but happy Halloween.”

  Claire smiled, and took the candy bar. Tom stood, sniffed the air and his eyes lit up. “Do I smell what I think I do?” His long legs ate the space between the foyer and kitchen. Lily and Claire followed him.

  “Stuffed cabbage, just for you,” Lily said.

  Tom picked her up and twirled her around. Lily shrieked as the room spun, while Claire giggled. As he joined in, Tom focused on Claire. “Your mom makes the world’s best stuffed cabbage. Do you know that?” Claire shook her head.

  “Put me down, you big oaf,” Lily yelled. Once on her feet again, she informed Tom that her daughter didn’t like stuffed cabbage. Tom’s look of shock switched to one of glee.

  “Too bad for you, but that means there’s more for me.”

  “You can have it all,” Claire agreed. The three of them sat and ate.

  While Lily did the dishes—despite Tom’s offer to help—she listened to Claire and him talk in the living room. Although slow to warm to him, now Claire told him about school, her friends and Halloween. Tom’s profession intrigued her, and she asked about how he helped children and what he would do if someone came in with a cough, or a cold or a fever. Tom answered all her questions.

  “What would you do if someone couldn’t walk?”

  Tom tipped his head to the side. “I’d probably send the child for an x-ray. Do you know what an x-ray is?” His deep voice purred, like it did when he examined a frightened child, and Claire leaned in closer to him.

  She nodded. “Yeah, it’s a picture of your bones.”

  “That’s right. I’d examine the x-ray, find out where the broken part of the bone was and put a cast on it.”

  “Would the person have to sit in a wheelchair?” Claire asked.

  “Maybe at the hospital, but you use crutches when you have a broken leg.”

  �
��Oh, well, I have a friend who sits in a wheelchair.”

  “Is she in your class?”

  Claire giggled. “She’s a he, and no, he’s not in my class, he’s a grown up.” She rushed ahead. “He’s really nice, and he loves to play games with me and we draw together and he even coaches a basketball team at the center. He brought me there once and it was fun. I got to meet all of his kids and I’m going to go back there again soon.” Lily’s stomach tightened.

  Tom rested his elbows on his knees, splayed fingers pressed together, and smiled. “Wow, he sounds nice.”

  “He is, and Mommy likes him, too. They talk on the phone a lot after I go to sleep, and he comes over on weekends to see her and to play with me.”

  Before he could respond, Lily came in with a plate of cookies, a cup of coffee for Tom and tea for herself. Her face was hot and palms were damp. Tom and Daniel had been best friends. What would he think of her dating someone? She’d dreaded this moment from the first time she’d spoken with Tom on the phone. Now it arrived, and she covered her discomfort in mom mode. “Claire, it’s time to get ready for bed, sweetie.”

  “Moooommmmm, please? Can’t I stay up a little later?”

  “No, honey, tonight is a school night. Let’s go get ready for bed. Tom, will you excuse me for a moment?” He waved goodnight to Claire. They left and ten minutes later, Lily returned.

  “So you’ve got a boyfriend.” Tom put down the magazine he’d been paging through and smiled at her. His eyes bored into hers as he spoke, filled with curiosity. “That’s good Lily, real good. He sounds great.”

  Lily’s face heated as a weight lifted. “It’s complicated.”

  “So when can I meet him?”

  “I’d love for you to meet him, only, maybe it would be weird. I don’t know, maybe it’s not such a good idea. You really want to meet him?”

  “Of course I do. I need to check him out, make sure he’s good enough for you.” Lily swatted him with the magazine. Tom grabbed her cold hands between his hot ones. “Now that was uncalled for. Here I am, trying to look out for my best friend’s gorgeous wife, and what do I get?” They laughed.