Paris Summer

by April Lynn Kihlstrom

  Janine nodded. “Definitely.”

  Mark ran his hand through his perpetually rumpled hair. “I’m sorry, Janine, I…”

  He looked so much like a small boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar that Janine laughed. “Sit down and I’ll be ready to go in a minute,” she said, getting up. Then, “It’s my fault for asking questions that are none of my business.”

  Mark released a sigh of relief. “Where shall we go today?”

  Janine looked at him wryly. “You mean that for once you don’t have some specific place in mind?”

  He grinned. “Well, I was thinking of the Rodin museum. We haven’t been there yet.”

  Janine smiled. “Okay. And don’t worry, I’ll be ready right away.”

  In the bedroom, Janine stopped to check her reflection in the mirror. She was wearing a dress she had made herself It was a sleeveless cotton lavender print that flared subtly at the hips, emphasizing her figure. Best of all, the dress had pockets so she wouldn’t have to carry a purse. She wore her usual comfortable white sandals and tied her hair back with a scarf. The effect was one of young innocence rather than sophistication, but Janine had learned long ago that it suited her best.

  “Two and a half minutes, actually,” Mark said with a grin when she indicated she was ready.

  Janine made a face. “Where is the museum?”

  “Rue de Varenne, just before the Hotel des Invalides. It’s not far. I think we might as well walk.”

  Janine’s first reaction was that the museum was beautiful. The place had once been Rodin’s home and the grounds were well cared for. Statues were interspersed among the flowers and trees. There was even a pond. Janine’s second impression was that it was the most crowded museum she had ever seen. “Very big with Americans,” Mark explained.

  They spent several hours wandering through the museum, but Janine barely noticed what she saw. She was thinking about Sandy. He wanted her. Janine admitted to herself that he was hardly perfect, but then neither was she. And Sandy would give her security and even luxury. And he wanted her. It always came back to that, didn’t it? Janine was afraid of never finding someone to love and care about and live with. And, after all, were there any men better than Sandy?

  Janine glanced at her companion. Well, yes, there were. Mark, for example. He was more intelligent and, she felt, more to be depended upon in a crisis. The question was, was he unique? And even if he wasn’t, would that sort of man ever be interested in her? Not if Mark was any indication. He had made it pretty clear that even if Rena had not existed, he would not have wanted anything more serious than a brother/sister relationship. Well, what were brothers for, if not to ask advice? Maybe he could help her sort out how she felt. She thought she was in love with Sandy, but how could she be sure? Was it really too much to expect, to expect bells and whistles?

  If Mark noticed her preoccupation, he said nothing. He seemed satisfied with her noncommittal responses of “oh” or “I see.” Perhaps he was preoccupied himself. He only reacted after she had replied, “That’s interesting,” to the announcement that the museum was closing. He snapped his fingers in front of Janine’s eyes. “Wake up,” he said, “they’re closing.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I guess I was daydreaming,” she said with embarrassment.

  “I gathered that,” Mark responded dryly as he took her arm and gently pulled her toward the exit.

  Mark’s apartment was on rue Galande, at the back of a courtyard on the third floor. It was a small studio for which he paid an exorbitant price but, as he put it, “I’m paying for the neighborhood.”

  Ancient maps and pages of old manuscripts that Mark had collected hung on the walls. And an interesting assortment of books filled the small bookcase that came with the room. The bed, two chairs, and a small table were the only other pieces of furniture. Even so, the room seemed full. As Mark unlocked the door, Janine made an effort to shake off her reverie. “Well, what are we having for dinner?” she asked.

  “Lasagne. Homemade.”

  “What can I do to help?” she asked.

  “If you cut up the onions and mushrooms and sautee them, I’ll do the rest,” Mark said promptly.

  Janine liked cooking with Mark. He enjoyed experimenting as much as she did and they always shared the work, including washing dishes.

  Over dinner, Mark said, “All right, what’s bothering you, Janine?”

  Suddenly she felt defensive. “What makes you think anything is bothering me?”

  He laughed. “You’re very transparent. Especially when you draw your eyebrows together slightly and twist your mouth to one side and don’t say a word for twenty minutes at a time. And you hunch your shoulders.”

  Janine grinned and forced herself to relax. “I see. Well, I was going to confide in you, anyway. It’s about Sandy.”

  She sketched the events of the previous evening quickly for Mark, and then the phone call this morning. “And you see,” she concluded, “I just don’t know what to do. One of these days Sandy is going to expect an answer and I just don’t know whether I want to marry him or not.”

  “Helene and Jacques seem to feel you should say no,” Mark pointed out.

  “Yes, but I don’t think they’re objective about it. I mean, Sandy was at his worst last night and they don’t really like most Americans anyway. Besides, I think maybe Jacques is not objective because… because…”

  “Because he’s attracted to you?” Mark asked. “You may be quite right about that. Anyway, since he doesn’t know you very well, his advice isn’t necessarily best.”

  “You know me better,” Janine said. “What do you think?”

  Mark leaned back, silent for several moments. At last he said, “There are really two questions. Are you in love with him and vice versa? Second, whether you are or not, would he make a good husband for you? I can’t answer the first and I think the second is more important anyway. You’re an independent and intelligent woman. You’re going to need someone who is at least as smart as you are and someone who understands your need for freedom. I also suspect that behind that quiet, respectable facade, you’re an extremely passionate woman. Marriage to a man who sees women as pretty much interchangeable and simply wants someone to run his household and have his children would never satisfy you, no matter how much you thought you loved him. Now I don’t know Sandy…you do. You’ve got to decide how he stacks up against what you need. And if you’re thinking of marrying him because you’re afraid no one better will want you, forget it! Make sure he’s what you want. Some women could live with less in their marriage, but you’re not one of them. Believe me, you’d be happier single than with the wrong man!”

  Janine stared at Mark and nodded slowly. “You’ve given me a lot to think about.” She sighed, “I hate to burden you with my problems, but I really did need an objective opinion.”

  Mark glanced away. “Objective opinion… yeah, well, that’s what I’m here for.”

  Despite his promise, Sandy did not call on Monday. Alone for once, Janine spent the day along the quaff, buying postcards and writing to friends. She even forced herself to write a long letter to her mother, mentioning Sandy lightly. She tried not to be angry over the latest letter from home with her mother’s comments on Phil and Sandy.

  …If he’s another Phil, forget it! I won’t have him in my home. You’re so naive about men that I wish Rena were there to take care of you…

  In spite of herself, Janine grinned. Really! In some ways her mother was so naive about Rena. Rena might be more experienced about men, but Janine was not prepared to admit her sister was any wiser about them.

  In this way the day passed pleasantly enough. It was a relief to spend an hour over tea at a cafe without wondering if one’s companion was getting bored. Occasionally, Janine wondered why Sandy hadn’t called. But she always concluded he must have had something else to do. Or perhaps he just needed time by himself, perhaps to think. Or maybe he felt she needed time by herself and he was being tactful.
That evening, for once, Janine had no trouble falling asleep.

  Janine was preparing to leave for Jussieu when the phone rang. “Allo?”

  “Hi, kitten. It’s me, Sandy. Did you miss me yesterday? How are you?”

  “Fine.”

  “Good. I couldn’t see you yesterday because I was running around to tourist offices and seeing travel agents. But now I’ve got everything arranged. If you tell me what city Rena is in I can settle the last few details and get the tickets. We could leave as early as Friday if you want,” Sandy said exuberantly.

  Janine felt a chill. “Sandy…what are you talking about?”

  “Our trip around Europe. You said you wanted to go, starting with a visit to Rena. Oh, I get it, you want to know exactly what arrangements I’ve made. Tell you what, it’s a beautiful day. Meet me at the boat pond in the Jardin du Luxembourg and I’ll show you what I’ve got planned. Then we can go to the travel agency together. See you in fifteen minutes, love.”

  For several moments, Janine stared at the now silent receiver. Was Sandy crazy? One thing was sure, she was going to miss the seminar at Jussieu. This had to be straightened out right away!

  Sandy was waiting when she got there. As always, Janine was struck by how handsome he was and how welldressed. His hair never looked as though it needed combing. Janine was calm again, her spirits restored by the walk. It had to all be a simple mistake.

  Without speaking, Sandy kissed Janine. “What was that for?” she asked.

  “Because you’re you,” he answered, “and because I missed you yesterday.”

  Taking a firm hold of Janine’s elbow, Sandy started down one of the paths, apparently walking aimlessly. But perhaps it wasn’t so aimless since within a few minutes he led Janine to a rather secluded part of the park. When they were seated on a bench, he said, “Now. Tell me what this is all about?”

  Feeling herself a coward, Janine hedged, “I’ve decided not to visit Rena. According to a letter she wrote Mark, she wants to be alone for a while.”

  “All right,” Sandy said patiently, “we won’t visit Rena. All that means is we have more freedom to plan our trip. Now, I’ve got some brochures with me…”

  Sandy took the various folders out of his jacket pocket and handed them to Janine. She nervously flipped through them. Janine hated scenes and she was very much afraid they were going to have one. At last she said, “I’m not sure it’s a good idea to travel together. I mean, the hotels I’d want to stay in and the ones you’d want…”

  “Now, Jenny, if it’s money you’re worried about, you know I’ll pay for whatever you can’t afford. I’d even pay for everything if you’d let me.”

  “I couldn’t,” she said stiffly.

  “Aw, kitten-” Sandy paused as though startled, then his voice changed tone, sounding slightly triumphant. “We’ll have separate rooms. After all, we’re going to be married when we get back to the States, aren’t we?”

  “Are we?” Janine asked. “I’m not as sure as you are of how I feel. I’ve told you that lots of times.”

  “Well, then, this trip is a perfect chance to find out how you feel,” he answered patiently.

  Janine braced herself “I think a better idea would be for us to be apart for a while to see how we feel.”

  “For goodness’ sakes, Jenny, don’t you think I’m in a better position to decide that than you? How many times have you been in love? I’ve been in love three times and I think I know a little more about it than you do!” Sandy snapped.

  “I don’t!” she snapped back. “Oh sure, you know what’s good for you, but you don’t necessarily know what’s best for me.”

  Sandy looked at her incredulously. “After we’re married you’re going to have to improve your attitude a little. I’m going to wear the pants in our family. Even if you don’t think so, I do know what’s best for you.”

  “And I tell you, I’m not sure there will be a wedding. And I’m getting less sure all the time!”

  “All right, kitten, calm down,” Sandy said patiently. “We’ll talk about it after we get back from our trip. Sooner if you bring the subject up. Wait until you see the Alps or go swimming on a Greek island. And I’ve arranged for us to spend two days in Florence. It’s full of the kind of museums you like.”

  Janine forced herself to speak calmly and quietly. “Sandy, I am not going to travel around Europe with you.

  “Will you at least look at the arrangements I’ve made?”

  “They won’t change my mind.”

  “All I’m asking is that you look at them.” Sandy sighed.

  Janine gave in. Sandy had certainly been efficient. With his schedule they would visit eight countries in a little over a month and the accommodations in each city were in new, comfortable hotels. Travel was by plane, first-class train, or Mediterranean cruise ships. It was the sort of trip Janine might have chosen for herself if she had been rich. “Very nice,” she said.

  “Then you’ll come?” Sandy asked eagerly.

  Janine sighed. “No. I just want some time alone.”

  “All right then. You go on this trip by yourself. I’ll pay for it,” Sandy offered.

  “No!” Janine said hotly.

  “Why not`? Is it the money? I’m not trying to buy you, if that’s what you think. I just want you to have an idea of what life will be like married to me. No more third-class hotels and second-class railroad tickets,” Sandy explained.

  “I’d have plenty of time to find out after we’re married!” Janine responded.

  And I wonder, she thought, how far I would get before you showed up saying you couldn’t bear to be without me.

  “All right,” Sandy was saying quietly. “I give up. Have it your way. We’ll separate. I’ll travel and, at the end of a month, we’ll meet back here in Paris and see how you feel. Will that make you happy?”

  “Oh, Sandy!” Janine said with relief, turning to smile at him. “You do understand.”

  Sandy looked at her sourly. “Then will you do me a favor? Go out with me tonight? To a restaurant I choose? No objections allowed?”

  “Of course,” Janine said, relieved to have everything settled so easily.

  “Great. Then go home and fix yourself up and wear your fanciest dress. And I’ll pick you up at seven o’clock.”

  “Okay.” Janine smiled.

  Sandy grinned. “Then scat! Go get ready.”

  Relieved, Janine got up and started down the path. When she glanced back, Sandy was still sitting on the bench, looking thoughtful.

  Back at Rena’s apartment, Janine spent some time deciding what to wear. Not that she had much choice. She only had one dress that could even be considered for what she guessed Sandy had in mind. The problem was, how to dress that up more or should she even try? At last she decided to forego all jewelry except the emerald drop earrings her grandmother had left her, the only real jewelry she had.

  Then Janine forced herself to have some tea. She was still tense after the meeting with Sandy. She knew now that she could never marry him and wondered how she could ever have thought she would. Somehow she must tell him. She couldn’t have him traveling around Europe expecting to come back and marry her. Best do it tonight. How she hated scenes! Maybe she should dress down to convince him she wasn’t really suitable. No, it would just rob her of selfconfidence and she would need all she had tonight. Besides, Sandy would just decide that in the future he should choose her clothes for her.

  Really! The nerve Sandy had. How could she have been so blind? Helene was right about one thing-he was like Phil. Maybe it was a good thing that had ended so quickly. Janine’s trouble was that she was in love with the idea of being in love. Well, no more. Janine could stand being on her own for a while with no men to complicate her life. Give her a nice, peaceful brother/sister relationship with someone like Mark any day! Or someone like Jacques, for that matter.

  A warm shower relaxed Janine as the tea had failed to do. If she had had a better voice, Janine might ha
ve started singing. But, all things considered, she wouldn’t inflict that on the neighbors. Janine was still soapy when the phone rang. And rang. And rang. “Oh, no!” Janine muttered, shutting off the water and grabbing a towel. “If that’s Sandy calling to say he’ll be early…”

  But the phone stopped ringing before Janine could get to it. “Darn it!” she said, dripping on the bedroom floor. Then she shrugged. “Probably a wrong number. I’m getting a little tired of those.”

  Her mood spoiled, Janine finished her shower quickly. She took unusual care with her makeup, but still was ready well ahead of time. She surveyed herself in the mirror, pleased with what she saw. Her dress was a simple yellow halter top that was gathered slightly above the waist, then flowed to the floor. The coloring was perfect with her tanned shoulders and sunlightened hair. Almost dry now, her hair was curling of its own accord. And Janine’s Italian sandals completed the effect one of innocence. It suited her perfectly. Sandy should be pleased, she thought. It was the way he said he liked her to look. Half an hour to wait. Janine curled up on the daybed with a magazine that Rena had left lying around.

  She was in the middle of an article when the doorbell rang. Janine jumped, startled, and felt her heartbeat speeding up. She forced herself to walk slowly to the door, trying to calm down. Sandy was wearing a beautiful velvet blazer over a turtleneck. But Janine did not notice. Her attention was on the armful of flowers he carried. Roses. Long stemmed. She stared, openmouthed, as he handed them to her. “S-Sandy,” she stammered.

  He eased himself into the apartment, forcing her to back into the living room. “A memento of all the beautiful times we’ve had and will have,” he said earnestly.

  Janine glanced at him and quickly glanced away. His eyes were watching her. When he laughed, the face was boyish, but when he was serious the face could be dangerously handsome as it was tonight. To cover her confusion, Janine filled a vase and began clipping the roses to prepare them for water. Sandy waited patiently as she worked. Twenty roses. Twenty! They filled one vase and threatened to overflow a second. The scent of roses began to pervade the room. Sandy’s first words when she finished startled Janine. “Don’t you have anything else to wear, kitten?”