Paris Summer

by April Lynn Kihlstrom

  Janine shook her head helplessly, feeling cold. He sighed. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t care how you look. Maybe sometime I can go shopping with you.”

  Janine felt her confidence ebb. It was the gentle kindness in his voice that hurt the most. Sandy stroked her hair. “I didn’t mean to upset you, kitten. You look fine. Get a wrap and let’s go. Honestly, you look lovely.”

  Feeling on the verge of tears, Janine fled to the bedroom. She stared in the mirror. Sandy was right, of course. She would look out of place no matter where he took her. Miserably, she borrowed an embroidered shawl from Rena. It was the best she could do. “Pull yourself together!” Janine commanded herself softly. “You can’t collapse now. Okay, so you don’t know how to dress. Maybe it will help when you tell him you don’t want to marry him. He’ll realize you don’t belong in his world. And remember…no matter what happens, you’ve got to tell him tonight. Otherwise you’re not being fair.”

  Somewhat more composed, Janine rejoined Sandy. At least her Florentine evening bag couldn’t disgrace her. “Shall we go?” she said lightly.

  Sandy smiled. “The Magic Carpet awaits.”

  Momentarily irritated by Sandy’s choice of words, Janine led the way out of the apartment and then locked the door. One flight down, she heard, or thought she heard, the telephone start ringing. “I think it’s mine. I’d better go back and answer it,” she said.

  “Now, Jenny,” Sandy said patiently, “how do you know it’s your phone? And even if it is, how do you know it’s not a wrong number? How many people in Paris want to call you? Besides, it would probably stop ringing before you got there to answer.”

  “I guess you’re right,” Janine said uncertainly.

  “Good. Let’s go,” Sandy said and started down the stairs.

  The telephone was still ringing as they left the building, but Janine no longer heard it. Sandy had borrowed Alan’s car for the evening. As he drove, he refused to explain where they were going. “It’s a surprise,” he said.

  Janine, therefore, was totally unprepared when she saw the name Maxim. She turned to Sandy to protest but he forestalled her. “No objections. You promised.”

  Janine nodded, rather embarrassed. No wonder Sandy had been so disappointed in the way she was dressed! They were seated quickly, though not before one or two people stared at them. With a sinking feeling, Janine noticed their smiles.

  The food was excellent. Well worth the three stars awarded by the Michelin guidebook. The champagne Sandy chose was heady and Janine lost track of how often he filled her glass-particularly since he never waited until it was empty before he refilled it. Nor did Janine notice how little Sandy drank. But she did have sense enough to stop as soon as she felt her head growing light. From then on she sipped the wine slowly, at well-spaced intervals. If Sandy was trying to get her drunk, he would be in for a surprise, she thought.

  They talked about all sorts of things, none of them important. Sandy had forbidden the topic of travel or marriage during dinner. He talked quite knowledgeably about politics and Paris and children. Especially children. He had young cousins, three, five, and six years of age, whom he said he adored. But perhaps Jenny preferred babies? And pets. Sandy had always wanted a dog, preferably a collie like the one Jenny had had as a little girl. They talked over coffee, then over brandy. Perhaps it was the champagne, perhaps it was the lack of confusion about her feelings, but Janine felt completely at ease with Sandy. It was too bad she was going to have to upset him. But then, perhaps he wouldn’t be so upset after all.

  At last Sandy decided it was time to leave. He paid the bill casually though the amount made Janine flinch. She could have eaten for a month on what he had just paid for dinner for the two of them.

  Even in the car Sandy refused to let their talk drift to serious subjects. And Janine was in no hurry to spoil his mood. He drove along the Seine, then back to St. Germain des Pres. He parked in the square by the church and said gently, “I think it had better be an early evening for you. You look tired.”

  “I am… a little,” she admitted hesitantly.

  Sandy kissed her in his usual expert way. “So then,” he said as he still held her, “I’ll go tomorrow and get our tickets. We’ll leave for Switzerland on Friday.”

  Janine pulled away and sat up sharply. She felt as if she had just been slapped. “What did you say?”

  “I’ll get our tickets tomorrow for the trip,” Sandy repeated blandly.

  “I told you. I’m not going with you,” Janine said quietly.

  “You’re coming with me,” Sandy said coolly, “or our engagement is off.”

  “You’re darn right it’s off!” Janine snapped. “There never was one.

  Sandy sighed and said patiently, “You don’t mean that. You’re just angry because I’m making all the decisions. But honestly, someone has to do it. You keep changing your mind.”

  Janine stared at him without speaking. Sandy shrugged and looked out the other window. With an air of resignation he asked, “What’s the matter? Did your mother or Helene tell you it’s not proper for you to travel alone with me? Or to become engaged so quickly?”

  “Sandy, don’t make poor jokes.”

  “Look …what am I supposed to think?” he demanded. “Suddenly you up and tell me you’re not interested in me and you won’t travel with me. Maybe you’ve decided you’re too good for me?”

  Janine flinched. “Not too good…just not right.”

  “Oh? And who would be right for you?”

  It was Janine’s turn to look away. “Someone who likes music and books and museums. Someone who sees women as people, not as dolls. Someone who cares more about people than how much money they have.”

  “Oh? Maybe you’d like a mirror image of yourself?” Sandy asked sarcastically. “That won’t last. And where do you expect to find this paragon? And if you do, how do you expect to get his attention? With your looks and the way you dress…”

  “I’m not worried about it,” Janine said truthfully.

  “Maybe you’ve already got someone in mind?” Sandy demanded. “Mark? Jacques? Has one of them been pretending to be in love with you? And I bet you fell for it. Jacques would figure you’re an easy date since you’re American and you wouldn’t see through his phony French manners. Or is it Mark? He’d think it was hysterical to seduce his fiancee’s sister.”

  “Stop it!” Janine shouted. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Oh don’t I, kitten? One thing’s sure-you wouldn’t have come to this decision by yourself. You know, I bet it’s Mark. Of course! You’ve been seeing him every Sunday. Wait until I get to Switzerland and tell Rena her boy friend is chasing you!”

  “Rena asked Mark to look after me,” Janine said stiffly.

  “He’s doing that, all right!” Sandy snickered. “Just wait until I see Rena. What a .joke!”

  “Don’t you dare say a word to Rena!” Janine said angrily.

  “Frankly, you haven’t anything to say about what I do,” Sandy said coolly. “Since you’ve made it clear you don’t want to have anything to do with me, why should I be considerate? Or have you changed your mind?”

  Without a word, Janine opened the door and got out of the car. She closed the door firmly but without slamming it and, keeping her back straight, started to walk away. She forced herself not to hurry. One block, two, the building was finally in sight. Now the stairs, head up, back stiff. She fumbled for her keys, found them, and quickly shut the door behind her. The scent of roses reached Janine and leaning against the door she began to cry.

  She stopped crying abruptly as she heard a sound in the other room. “Rena?” she called tentatively. No answer. The apartment was dark. Panic gripped Janine. She could hear someone moving toward her. The light snapped on. “Mark!”

  They stared at each other. Mark noted Janine’s wet cheeks. Pressing her back harder against the door, Janine quavered, “W-What are you doing here?”

  “When you
didn’t stop by my office I tried calling you. I couldn’t get an answer. Then, on an off chance, I called Alan. He told me you and Sandy had had a fight. I had a hunch you might need someone to talk to.”

  All the tears Janine had been trying to restrain started flowing. The next moment she found herself in Mark’s arms. He waited a moment, then led her to the daybed. He cradled her head on his shoulder and stroked her hair.

  Later, Janine had no idea when, a box of tissues suddenly appeared. Finally she pulled herself together. She looked at Mark uncertainly. She was afraid of what he might be thinking. Gently he asked, “Do you want to talk about it? It might help.”

  Trying hard to keep her voice from cracking, Janine outlined the events of the day. Once or twice Mark muttered something, but she could not tell what he said. As she finished her confused account, Janine realized she was again leaning against Mark’s shoulder. Forcing herself to sit upright, Janine asked in a more normal voice, “But why are you here? It’s not your problem.”

  Mark glanced away. “Rena asked me to keep an eye on you, remember?” he said in a light voice.

  “Oh, no!” Janine exclaimed, the tears threatening to overwhelm her again. “I forgot! Sandy says he’s going to see Rena and tell her you… you’re …I mean…”

  “That I’m after you?” Mark probed gently. When she nodded he laughed. “Don’t worry. Rena won’t believe it. You know she’s incapable of believing you could take any man away from her.”

  Somehow, this statement was not as comforting as it should have been. Janine felt like crying again. Mark waited patiently, but she couldn’t explain. The flowers caught her eye. She waved a hand at them helplessly. “Sandy brought me these today. For a while he was so nice. Then …now…I almost feel like a heel.”

  Mark, when he finally answered, said dryly, “That’s how he meant you to feel. Has he ever bought you flowers before? I thought not. Listen to me, Janine. It was all a carefully calculated plan to make you feel guilty, to make you feel you couldn’t refuse him. But you did. And Sandy, being Sandy, couldn’t stand that. He had to tear you down, work on your lack of selfconfidence. Or maybe he’s stupid enough to believe what he said. But he’s wrong, Janine. There is nothing wrong with you. Not with the way you look, not with the way you dress. Don’t you know…”

  He stopped abruptly and released her. He got up and walked over to the roses. His back to Janine and his voice casual, Mark said, “Don’t let Sandy get to you. Enjoy the flowers. As for feeling guilty… that’s absurd. Maybe you hurt his pride, but nothing more.”

  “Are you trying to say he never cared for me at all?” Janine demanded. “I don’t believe it!”

  Mark ran his hand through his hair. He sounded frustrated. “Yes and no. I mean, I think he cared for you as much as he’s capable of caring for anyone. But you see, I don’t think that means very much. Sandy is totally wrapped up in himself. He wants a wife but not really a woman.”

  “How did you get to be such an expert on Sandy?” Janine demanded. “You’ve never even met him.”

  “Yes, I have,” Mark’s tired voice answered.

  “When?”

  “A couple of weeks ago. I got curious about Sandy so I went to see him. We spent quite a while talking. Mostly about you.”

  “What gave you the right to pry?” Janine said hotly.

  “Concern. You’re practically my sister, remember?” he replied lightly, his back to Janine.

  “I’m sorry,” Janine said abruptly. “I shouldn’t be arguing with you. It’s just that I feel so depressed. And now you tell me that the only man who ever fell in love with me didn’t really.”

  Then, suddenly, she was crying again and Mark was holding her. “There will be other men,” he said soothingly.

  “Who?” Janine flared. “Ever since I can remember everyone I know has told me that `someday’ someone would fall in love with me. Well, I’m tired of waiting. If it hasn’t happened yet, maybe it’s not going to!”

  Mark laughed. “I see. You’re so very old, then?”

  “It’s not funny.”

  “I never said it was.” Mark was serious now. “If you stopped worrying about it so much and stopped being so prickly, you might have better luck. As it is, you hang out a sign for guys like Sandy that says you’re an easy girl to catch, but everyone else assumes the opposite.”

  “You’re full of analyses tonight, aren’t you?”

  Mark chuckled. “Actually, it’s this morning.”

  Janine glanced at the clock and discovered, to her dismay, that it was two A.M. “Don’t go yet, Mark!” she said anxiously. “I’m afraid of Sandy…what he might do. He’s got a terrible temper.”

  Mark looked at her face soberly and then nodded. “Would you like me to stay the night?” As she flushed, he added, “Here on the couch. If Sandy tries to bother you, I’ll handle him.”

  Janine felt unaccountably shy and she evaded his eyes as she nodded. “Would you? I’d feel so much safer.”

  His voice was almost flippant as he said, “Sure. Give me some sheets and a blanket and I’ll even make my own bed. Then you ought to get some sleep.”

  Numbly Janine agreed. In the bedroom, as she brushed her hair, Janine was grateful Mark had not suggested a stiff drink to calm her. It was better if she cried herself to sleep tonight and got it over with. Once again she prayed that Rena appreciated the man she was getting. Too bad he didn’t have a twin brother!

  In the distance a phone rang. Janine fought to wake up, knowing she should answer it. Then the ringing stopped and as she drifted back to sleep she had the oddest notion. She thought she heard a man’s voice. It sounded like Mark, but of course that was absurd…

  Later, sunlight streaming into the room this time, Janine woke again. Her head ached and her throat was sore. Gradually she remembered… Mark! He was sleeping on the couch. Hurriedly Janine thrust her feet into slippers and pulled on a robe.

  But Mark was already gone. On the daybed sat a pile of neatly folded sheets and a blanket. On top was a note.

  Dear Janine,

  I left early since I suspect you might want to be alone this morning. Don’t worry about Sandy. He called and I told him you would be with me all day and that I wouldn’t let him speak to you. So I doubt he’ll try to call or come over. If you need me, just telephone and I’ll come right over.

  Mark

  Janine smiled. Dear Mark! Was there ever anyone so tactful? She had heard the phone, she recalled now, and she wondered just what Mark had said to Sandy. She even chuckled at the frustration Sandy must have felt. Then she was abruptly sober. It had been very early when Sandy called. Knowing Sandy, there was only one conclusion that he would draw from Mark’s presence. If he carried out his threat to see Rena …Janine sighed. Unless Rena was unusually understanding, Mark was going to have an awful time explaining. Though if Mark were right, Rena would consider the tale absurd and simply assume Sandy was trying to get even with her for jilting him. Which, of course, would be the truth.

  Suddenly Janine felt like shouting. She was free! Free of Sandy once and for all. Never again would she be so stupid about a man! Spinsterhood was infinitely preferable to the wrong marriage.

  Humming softly, Janine went out for croissants, smiling at everyone she passed. She had coffee at Les Deux Magots and relaxed as she watched the people hurry by. Guilt, that’s what had kept her chained to Sandy. The fear of being unfair and hurting him. And the fear of being lonely. A young man asked to sit at her table and Janine nodded. Happily she flirted with him in her bad French. Then, when she finished her coffee and he wanted to follow her, Janine mischievously told him, “Non. Je dots aller et rencontrer mon maxi.”

  It was a lie, but otherwise the young man might have been persistent. Janine decided to spend the day shopping. Not that she needed anything, but she might see something she liked. And she could be sure she wouldn’t encounter Sandy in a department store! At the thought of him, Janine shuddered slightly. For all her brave thoughts,
she hoped she wouldn’t have to see him again. She didn’t want another scene. Janine stayed in the stores until it was time to go home and fix dinner. Her euphoria evaporated by that time, and she decided to treat herself to a steak to boost her spirits. A large steak. She could cut it in half and have enough for two meals. Or enough if Mark should drop by. But, of course, he wouldn’t. Responsibility to one’s sisterin-law only goes so far. Well, she could always go to Shakespeare and Company and spend the evening browsing. Sandy certainly wouldn’t go there, only…

  Neither Mark nor Sandy were waiting at her door, but Jacques was. “Jacques!” Janine exclaimed. “Quelle surprise.”

  He regarded her gravely. “Comment ca va?” he asked.

  Opening the door, she responded. “Ca va. Et Helene?”

  “Bien.” Jacques was still watching her seriously. He spoke slowly so that she could understand his French. “Mark telephoned me. He told me about Sandy. He seemed worried about you.”

  Since Jacques remained standing, Janine did also. Puzzled at his tone of voice, she replied, “Well, you were certainly right when you said I should not marry Sandy. Last night I learned a great deal about him. I was…upset. Naturally, I cried. I think Mark is not accustomed to women crying.”

  “So,” Jacques said, taking a deep breath, “you do not need anyone to talk with. Or anyone to be with?”

  He turned as if to go, and Janine reached out a hand to stop him. “No. That’s not true. Jacques, could you stay for dinner? I would appreciate it.”

  Suddenly he grinned. “Certainly, ma petite.”

  The apellation startled Janine who, at five foot ten, was not used to being called ma petite. Particularly by a man who was shorter than she was. But she smiled, understanding what he meant.

  As Janine prepared the food, Jacques talked about Helene, his work, and the weather. Only when they began to eat did he begin to discuss Sandy. “I was not sure if you would want to see me,” Jacques began. “Women are often strange and since I did not like Sandy…” He shrugged. “And when I am here and you do not seem unhappy, I thought I was not needed.”