Sleepless Fate

by Janae Keyes

  “I’m going to sleep in the guest room downstairs,” I sniffed, trying to keep my composure. “Can you take me home in the morning?” Patrick nodded. He took my hand into his. I yanked it away and left him alone in his room.

  I settled into the guestroom, locking the door behind me. I wanted to be alone and I wanted quiet. I sat on the bed and cried into my hands. I wasn’t sure if I should scream or curse God for being unfair. I’d already lost Keaton and now I would be losing Patrick in another way. I’d just found my happiness; I’d fallen in love. Curling into a ball I held a pillow close and cried into it, I only hoped that tonight was a dream, just an illusion and all would be right in the world tomorrow.

  IN THE MORNING, the delicious smells of breakfast foods filled the bedroom. Pulling myself up from the bed, I dragged myself from the room and into the kitchen where I found Patrick talking on the phone in what seemed like it must be German and cooking breakfast. I didn’t say a word to him as I walked to the fridge to get myself a glass of orange juice. I sat at the kitchen table and listened. German wasn’t the most relaxing language, but it was very obvious that Patrick was not happy as he spoke.

  “Auf Wiedersehen,” he growled before slamming his phone down on the counter. I looked out the window and watched a boat pass by on the bay. “I made you breakfast,” Patrick commented to me. I shrugged.

  “I’m fine with orange juice, then you can take me home,” I responded as I tried to keep any emotion from my voice though inside my heart was breaking.

  “Babe, please,” he begged.

  As hard, as I tried, I couldn’t help the sob that escaped me. Patrick’s arms instantly flew around me and he held me close to his chest.

  “I never expected any of this. You know I’m all yours. Maybe saying I would move to Germany was a bit drastic. We will figure something out. I know we will. Brielle, no matter what, we will figure all of this out. I love you too much to lose you.” I nodded and allowed him to press his lips to mine. I felt like I was about to enter a three ring circus without any experience. I had no idea what lay ahead of us at this point. I only hoped Patrick and I would survive it.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Patrick

  I WATCHED BRIELLE from across the kitchen. Things had been different since that night. I knew Brielle was fighting with herself in the decision to stay with me. That day was supposed to be something completely different. I never expected that phone call in a million years, but I got it.

  I remember driving home after getting that call. I couldn’t keep track of the thoughts going through my mind. The first person I thought of wasn’t my baby, Brielle, or my ex-girlfriend, but my birth father. I thought of the day my mom told him she was pregnant with me, what his vile reaction had to be. I thought of how much I didn’t want to be like him and how I was going to be there for my child no matter the obstacles. I even went so far as to decide to possibly move back to Germany, saying that out loud to Brielle wasn’t a smart move. I was afraid she would leave me and that my heart would be emptied of all the love she had given me.

  I bolted across the kitchen to where Brielle was standing, I put my hands on her hips and pulled her close. The worst part about that night was for the second time, she was ready to give herself to me. The look of her in that lingerie set she wore, everything perfection, but I couldn’t, not after that call. Something seemed to come up every single time. When I finally had her, I wanted the night to be perfect. I wanted to give her the perfect experience. I’d been aching to pleasure her for so long, I guess I could wait longer.

  Brielle pulled away from me. My heart immediately felt as though it was being squeezed. I knew this wasn’t ideal for her. She’d been through so much with Keaton and everything, she was actually living a normal existence and here I was ruining that for her with my own life complications.

  “Bri,” I breathed out. She only slightly glanced at me. I saw a tear make its way from her eye. I hated that I was the reason she was crying. I took my hand and wiped her tear. This was all my fault, I felt like the scum of the earth. If I’d only kept it in my pants back in Germany.

  Veronika, my ex, and I had that one last hook up before I left. I was always safe with her even when we were in a relationship. That last time was no exception, we’d used a condom and now she was telling me that she was pregnant. My inability to keep myself from her in that moment was the reason Brielle was crying, I hated myself.

  There of course was the question if the baby was mine or not. Veronika insisted that the baby was mine and the condom we used that night must have broken or had a hole, I didn’t remember any problems with it, but I had been drinking that night. I knew Veronika had a sort of reputation and I’d heard of her sleeping with other guys, that was one reason our relationship was so rocky in the first place.

  We had to wait out the next six months of Veronika’s pregnancy to learn if I was the father. We had to wait until the child she was carrying was born. Telling my mom about the baby was the next hardest after telling Brielle. My mom never liked Veronika and insisted that Veronika was using me for my money, but this kid could be mine and I wasn’t risking any resemblance to the man who was half of my DNA. At this point my mom had no idea that I was having Veronika come out from Germany, that would really send her over the edge and I wasn’t for pissing off my mother.

  “Please Bri, I’m sorry about all of this. You know it. I know the situation isn’t ideal for either of us.” I was begging her to let me love her. Through all of this, I just wanted to be with her, to love her and only her.

  “I don’t like that she is going to be living with you,” she admitted. I sighed, it did make the situation more awkward for myself and for Brielle.

  “Babe, it’s only for a few weeks. I’m getting her an apartment and she won’t be living here. For the time that she is here, you know that I only want you. You have to know that,” I explained.

  I watched Brielle’s facial expressions. She was conflicted. Over the past two weeks I was trying to balance working things out with Brielle and figuring out what to do with Veronika. In the end, I made the decision to have her move here. It took lots of favors with the Department of Homeland Security, but I’d managed to bypass a lot of red tape in getting Veronika’s visa expedited as quickly as possible.

  “I’m just scared. She knows you better than me, hell she might actually be carrying your baby. I’m scared of losing you to her,” Brielle spoke honestly. I liked that she felt she could be honest with me at all times as I wanted to be with her. I pulled her into my arms as quickly as I could. I held her tight, not wanting to let go.

  “I’m not going to let you lose me. I’m going to be right here at all times, holding you and loving you. Things might get rocky and there will be changes, but always, I’m yours,” I looked into her cocoa eyes as I spoke. I wanted her to know I was serious about us. I needed her to know that our lives were going to remain how they should be, together.

  “This is our last real day, just the two of us then?” she questioned as she leaned into me. I nodded. Veronika was arriving tomorrow morning. Life was going to change dramatically for all of us.

  “I’m heading to the airport at around 8 to get her. Do you want to come along or meet her later in the day?” I knew this was an awkward question, but Brielle was going to have to meet Veronika and vice versa.

  “I guess we can get it over with and I will go to the airport with you,” she said with a shrug. I placed my nose into her hair. Brielle was a gift, the best gift. She didn’t have to stay with me or endure this situation with me, but she was.

  “I love you,” I whispered into her hair.

  “I love you, too. I just really hope we can survive all of this, but as long as we are surviving, I’m by your side.” She was a real angel. I didn’t deserve Brielle’s love. I’d presented myself to her as some savior to save her from her pain, but I had now caused her pain. She deserved better than me, I knew it, but I didn’t want to let her go. I was afraid of letting
her go.

  Besides losing Brielle, there was the possibility that I was actually going to be a father. I would be the man this child would look up to for inspiration. I was certainly going to be better at it than my own father, simply by being there. I was going to be on the frontlines of parenthood every single day and all for my child. This child was going to know the love of a father in a way that I never was able to.

  I dreaded what tomorrow would bring. There was so much apprehension and fear. Veronika could be a character and was the complete opposite of Brielle, very high maintenance and demanding. Brielle was easy going and making her happy was so easy. The next six months were going to be the biggest test of our relationship and if this baby was mine, life was going to be different forever.

  Brielle

  I COULDN’T BELIEVE I was here of all places. I felt Patrick squeeze my hand as we stood in the Arrivals area of San Francisco International Airport. Every couple of minutes the doors would swing open with new arrivals streaming through, being greeted by family members and friends, speaking languages from all around the world.

  The last couple weeks had been interesting as Patrick worked to get his ex to the States. He’d decided it would be best to have her move here. I wasn’t completely down with this plan, but the alternative was him moving to Germany. The doors swung open again, my heart flew into my throat. I was so nervous about all of this.

  After a few more minutes the doors opened again, as they had every few minutes. A woman walked out, she had blonde hair and the most striking blue eyes I’d ever seen. Her nose was pointed sharply and she had a look of disgust on her face, but that look seemed to quickly fade as she saw who was greeting her. I realized right away that the person greeting her was Patrick.

  I looked her over as she began to make her way to us. On her arm she carried a Chanel bag and she wore the tallest black heels I’d ever seen. She wore a very tight and very short black and white striped dress, she looked like she was going to the club and not coming here to con her ex into thinking she was having his baby. I did notice a small bump, but I was still skeptical.

  I wasn’t the only one who was skeptical about all of this. Patricia was not buying any of this at all. This had been the ex-girlfriend she told me about. Patricia was set on believing that if there was a baby, it was not Patrick’s. I didn’t know what to think, but right now I was trying to be a supportive girlfriend. I loved Patrick and I didn’t want this to tear what we had apart.

  “Patrick!” She squealed out as she made her way to us. She threw her arms around him and planted a kiss on his lips. Patrick lightly pushed her away.

  “Ronnie, we’ve had this discussion. I have a girlfriend,” scolded Patrick right away. She seemed to sneer at him. “By the way, Veronika, this is my girlfriend Brielle.” I gave her a small smile. Her eyes looked me over and she said nothing to me.

  “Hi Veronika and Welcome to the United States,” I cheered in the fakest way possible. I was trying, that was the best I could do. Veronika turned away from me without a single word and instantly began to speak to Patrick in German. Bitch.

  “Ronnie, I’m setting a ground rule. You need to speak English, especially when Brielle is around. Don’t pretend you don’t speak it. I know you speak perfect English,” Patrick pointed out sternly. Veronika let out an exasperated sigh. I rolled my eyes.

  “Okay, I speak English. Can you get my suitcase for me? It is heavy,” she motioned to the brown Louis Vuitton suitcase she had with her. “And be careful, you know how I love my Louis,” she cooed. I rolled my eyes again. I couldn’t wait for these months to be over with. Though I knew if the baby was Patrick’s, I was going to have to deal with this chick for a long time.

  I LAY ON Patrick’s bed with my iPad. He was busy showing Veronika her room. He’d set her up in the guest bedroom downstairs and already she was having issues with everything. I needed to relax and a good book on my iPad was what I needed. Reading the pages of the book, I found myself de-stressing and trying my hardest to let things go. Looking up from the screen for a moment I saw Patrick enter the room looking exhausted. He came to the bed and joined me before pulling me into his arms. I inhaled his scent of cinnamon and smiled. I still had him and that was all that mattered to me right this second.

  “I’m still so sorry, about all of this. I can see you are trying very hard to be supportive and I love you so much more for it,” he whispered into my hair. I looked up to him and gave him a weak smile. I was doing my damndest to be supportive, but it was tiring, now more than ever since she’d arrived.

  “Maybe, next weekend we can go away. Monterey or something. Just the two of us.” I suggested. I wanted to escape all of this, even if it was only for a couple days.

  “We’ll see,” he commented. I let out a sigh. None of this was going to be easy, but it seemed to me that Patrick was more than worth it. “Are you hungry?”

  “I was going to head out soon and pick up lunch on the way to the hospital,” I explained to him. It was Thursday, I was going to visit Keaton as it has been three weeks since my last visit.

  “I’d forgotten. Well, I will see if Ronnie wants anything to eat. I’m sure she might, being pregnant and all,” he murmured before pressing his lips to mine. His kisses seemed to make all the crazy stop and just for a moment it was quiet. “I love you,” he whispered against me.

  “I love you too,” I whispered back before pressing my mouth back to his. I needed the quiet, even for those tiny moments.

  “Patrick!” Called out a voice in a thick German accent. I groaned out of frustration. My quiet was over just as it had begun. Patrick let me loose from his grip as he got off the bed and left me alone in the bedroom. I slipped from the bed and put my iPad into my bag before picking up my purse and throwing it over my shoulder.

  Leaving Patrick’s bedroom behind I went downstairs and spotted him talking with Veronika. She was holding one of the pillows from her bedroom in her hands and frantically spoke to him in German. Patrick looked up at me and gave me a weak smile.

  “You’re leaving already?” Patrick asked me at once. I gave him a nod and he let out a sigh.

  “Patrick, I need new sheets,” demanded Veronika. I couldn’t figure out why she needed new sheets. Patrick had his housekeeper put all new sheets on her bed and stocked her closet with new sheets and towels.

  “Okay, Ronnie we will talk about this more in a minute. I’m going to walk Bri out,” he growled in her direction before making his way to me. He pulled me into his arms and in that moment I saw Veronika scowl at the sight of us. I made a note to myself to up the amount of PDA with Patrick, just to piss her off. Patrick laced his fingers with mine and walked with me out of the house and to the driveway where my silver BMW was parked right behind his Porsche.

  “Will I see you later?” He asked me right away as he put his hands on my waist and held me close.

  “I don’t know,” I uttered. As much as I wanted to be around him. I knew time with him meant time with Veronika also. “What was that about her sheets?”

  “Apparently, they are not soft enough for her and scratch her skin.” Patrick rolled his eyes as he spoke. She was already driving him nuts and had only been here for mere hours. I tried my best to not react. Luckily, she wasn’t going to be around too long, Patrick was looking to get her an apartment. I knew that I would feel better about the situation once she was no longer living with him.

  “Have fun with that. I will call you. I promise that,” I said to my sweet boyfriend. He was really a good guy and I loved that fact about him, but this fact was what had us in this uncomfortable predicament.

  DRIVING ON THE highway down to the hospital, I had April on my speakerphone. She was just as irritated as I was with Veronika’s arrival. I was irritated about the whole sheet dilemma. The sheets on the beds at Patrick’s place were not cheap and very soft. He only bought sheets that had a thread count of over a thousand, but somehow the sheets scratched her skin.

  “What’s she lik
e though?” April’s voice asked.

  “Hella annoying and bitchy. I welcomed her and she wouldn’t say anything back to me and she just wants to get as much time with Patrick as she can. Like this shit over the sheets. I’m not amused with her presence,” I explained as I gripped at the steering wheel.

  “What’s she look like?”

  “That’s the thing, she is really pretty and blonde. Like, Blake Lively pretty. I swear people at the airport thought Patrick was picking up his second mail order bride. He was already standing there with me, this black girl, and then this blonde in hooker gear comes out to him.” I heard April snicker.

  “Does she even look pregnant?”

  “She had a little bump, but right now that could have just been a food baby. That dress was so tight on her.”

  “And she refuses all of the paternity tests that can be done while pregnant?” I let out a sigh at this fact. Because Veronika was refusing any paternity tests that could be done while she was pregnant, we had to wait for the baby to be born.

  “Flat out refuses. At this point it is too late for the CVS test. The next option is an amniocentesis, but she refuses. Only if the doctor says she needs one for any reason. I’m stuck for 6 months with her,” I told her. I prayed that Veronika’s doctor would ask for genetic testing so we could get this over with faster. Surviving this for 6 months was going to be a challenge. The part that I hated the most was the possibility of the baby not being Patrick’s and having his heart crushed because despite everything, I knew he was excited to be a dad.