Sleepless Fate

by Janae Keyes

  Sliding into the water I looked up. My favorite thing about his bathroom was the skylight. Tonight, the sky was perfectly clear and I could see the stars twinkling above me. This was the perfect way to relax after a stressful day. I was blessed to have Patrick in my life. I would still be miserable and depressed waiting for Keaton, who I’d accepted would more than likely not wake up. Speaking to his mother as I did at least once a week, she told me the doctor’s once again offered to take him off of any support. She and Keaton’s dad decided to wait a little longer, they wanted one last Christmas with him before they made any decisions.

  I soaked until the water began to chill, and my fingers were starting to wrinkle. I stepped from the bath and wrapped my body in one of Patrick’s fluffy towels. For once today I felt rested and relaxed.

  Walking into the bedroom I found Patrick sitting on the bed with his laptop. He took one glance at me and instantly closed his what he was working on, before the laptop on the bedside table. I was amazed at how fast he got to me after that. He seemed to cradle my body in his arms as he pulled me towards his bed.

  “Paddy, I need to get my pajamas,” I groaned out playfully as I wiggled in his arms.

  “No pajamas, tonight,” he growled. I looked into his eyes and I knew right away what he wanted. Just the way he looked at me, made me tremble with anticipation because I wanted it to.

  Patrick and I had remained celibate in our relationship as I worked on my closure with Keaton. Though I knew he wanted me in every way possible, Patrick had been patient with me and it was all I could hope for. He laid me on the bed and straddled above me. I inhaled as my eyes traveled down his perfect bare chest and back to his eyes that seemed to be studying me. He bent and began to plant soft and supple kisses on my neck until he hit the spot that made me moan out. I felt his lips curve into a smile. There was no doubt that tonight was going to be the night.

  His hand began to untie the towel that was my one and only layer. I was trembling as I felt the fluffy material loosen and the coolness of the air hit my now completely naked body. Patrick pulled up and took me in.

  “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he breathed. At once, I became self-conscious as I’d never been naked in front of any other man except Keaton. He slowly slid one of his hands from my hip up my body, it was as if he was getting to know every single dimple and curve. “You’re so tense babe, let me help you relax.”

  His hand slid up over and cupped one of my breasts for a moment before he slid his fingers up to my erect nipple. I let out a small gasp as he took the bud between his fingers, I felt a wetness begin to pool between my legs and I wanted so much more from him, I lusted after more.

  Once again, he was planting kisses on my neck and moving to my collarbone taking small nicks as he went while his other hand began to descend between my legs. I moaned as I arched my hips to try and meet his hands. Out of the blue I heard the jingle of my cell phone.

  “My phone,” I sighed.

  “Ignore it,” Patrick insisted. I nodded, knowing it might be my sister with another comment or suggestion and this was not the time for any of that. Right now, I wanted Patrick and everything he was going to give me. Patrick continued to plant kisses until he’d reached my other firm bud and took it into his mouth.

  “Patrick,” I gasped out as I also felt his fingers glide over my wet entrance. Then my phone began to ring again. I let out a disappointed groan. “I should get it. Just in case.”

  Patrick let out a sigh as he moved to the side and allowed me to sit up. I slipped off the bed and made my way to my things that were sitting in the corner of his bedroom. I dug through my purse until I found my ringing phone. I was surprised with the fact that it was not my sister, but April. Looking at the time I realized it was pretty late for April, who normally went to bed quite early. I quickly made the decision to answer the phone.

  “Hey, what’s up?” I asked my best friend.

  “Umm… I’m sorry to call late. Can you meet me at Kaiser Hospital in Vallejo?” It was obvious that she had been crying. I was right away worried about my best friend.

  “April, are you okay? What’s wrong?” I was concerned about my friend and her small family.

  “I need to go to the ER, your mom is on the way to stay with the girls for me. Nate is away on business and I just want someone with me,” she sniffed.

  “Of course, you know I’m there. I’m leaving Patrick’s place now,” I said right away. April had always been there for me through everything and rarely she call me for help, I knew without a doubt that I had to be there for my best friend.

  “Thank you,” she said softly before the call ended. Without any thought, I began to pull clothes out of my bag to get myself dressed as fast as possible.

  “What’s wrong?” Patrick asked right away as he came over to me.

  “I don’t know. April said she needs me to meet her at the hospital. I don’t know what’s wrong…. umm…” I was lost at what to expect and afraid.

  “Be careful on the road. Text me when you get there and keep me up to date,” he insisted and I nodded in response as I worked to get my clothes on. I pulled my shirt over my head and Patrick looked at me clearly concerned for not just April’s well-being, but mine as well. “Stay calm for yourself and for April. I love you.”

  That was the first time he’d ever said those three words to me. I gave him a weak smile because I knew he meant it. I could tell by the look in his eyes, there was a conviction that spoke louder than any words.

  “I love you, too.” I said softly before throwing my purse over my shoulder. I gave him a soft smile before I turned to leave the room.

  SITTING IN THE emergency room, I looked over to the bed where my best friend was sitting. All the color had seemed to drain from her face and she sat in her hospital gown looking defeated. I took a breath before taking her hand into mine. She gave me a weak smile. April had experienced a miscarriage at exactly 12 weeks pregnant. April was one of the strongest people I knew, and right now she was at her lowest point, and I knew it was time for me to be strong for her.

  “I’m sorry I had to call you so late. You must be so tired from getting the baby shower together,” she mentioned.

  “It’s fine and you know that. You for sure don’t need to apologize,” I insisted right away. April was so used to being strong for everyone else around her that she didn’t know how to let other people be strong for her. “You are my best friend and you’ve seen me through some crap and now it is my turn to repay my debt. You know night or day, I’m here.” At once my cell phone made a jingle. I looked to see a text from April’s husband who was in Los Angeles on a business trip. “It’s from Nate. He missed the last flight up here, but there is a flight at 4:45AM and he is already at the airport. He also says to tell you that he loves you very much.” I saw a big smile appear on April’s face.

  April and Nate had planned to announce the pregnancy this weekend. She’d spent half the day at the office before going home to her girls. After putting the girls to bed, she started to have some light cramping, but that turned into heavy cramping and heavy bleeding. My heart hurt for my best friend. She didn’t deserve this, she was a great mom to her girls and this new baby would be the icing on top.

  “You feeling alright? Do you want something to drink?” I asked her, feeling as if I needed to care for her and take care of all her needs.

  “I’m okay. A little bit in shock is all. I will survive. I’ve been through worse, “she said as she gave me a shrug. April was for sure a strong woman and I looked up to her strength. “Nothing for now. I’m going to try and rest a bit. Tell Anam I won’t be coming to the shower, but I love her and her babies.”

  “Okay, I’ll let her know, I know she will understand. You know I’ll be here,” I reminded and she nodded. I stood and turned the lights low while she lay down and pulled the thin hospital blanket over herself. I looked down at my phone and put it on silent before texting Patrick.

 
ME: April is resting and doing okay. When Nate arrives, I will go to my house to sleep. Call me around 10:30 to wake me. Then I’ll head back to your house.

  I assumed that Patrick would have fallen asleep, but I was wrong as I saw a text come in from him right away.

  PATRICK BAILEY: Will do. Glad April is okay. Send her my love. I’m going to bed now. I love you.

  I smiled down at those three words that we’d said to one another for the first time tonight. I was very much in love with him. He made me happy and he showed me the most compassion, tenderness, friendship, and companionship, I’d ever had. I knew my life would never be the same after loving him.

  I FELT A kiss on my cheek and I groaned, rolling over in my bed, I jumped up as I realized I should be at home alone. I opened my eyes to see Patrick sitting on the edge of my bed. He gave me a soft smile and ran his hand over my arm. Since I’d just woken up I was drowsy and confused about his presence. I’d spent all night at the hospital with April until Nate was able to make it home and she was discharged not long after that. I went straight to my place and fell right asleep.

  “Babe, what are you doing here?” I questioned with a yawn.

  “I know you said to call and wake you, but I knew you’d be sleepy and I really didn’t want you driving to my place while drowsy. You can get what you need to stay at my place for the night and I will drive you,” Patrick explained. He was entirely too sweet and most days I had a hard time believing he was real. I really considered the thought that I might be hallucinating and everyone around me was just going along with it to keep me feeling sane.

  IT WAS AMAZING how a Quad White Mocha from Starbucks could wake a person up. Patrick had gotten me coffee and drove me back to his place where my mom had arrived and we finished getting everything ready for the party. Coming downstairs, I spotted the few people who had shown up already including my cousins Clarissa and Marissa. The two of them were twins, but easy to tell them apart as Clarissa wore glasses while Marissa didn’t. They both had beautiful dark chocolate skin that seemed to glow.

  “Hey CeCe and Mar!” I said to them happily as I approached them and hugged each in turn.

  “Is this really your boyfriend’s place?” Clarissa asked as she looked around. I nodded.

  “Does he have a brother?” Marissa asked with a giggle.

  “Or two brothers?” Clarissa added. I just laughed at their questions. I seemed to get that a lot. Everyone wanted a piece of the pie.

  “No, he is an only child. Sorry,” I maintained with a shrug.

  “Ooo, there he is now… he is hella fine.” Marissa commented. I turned to see Patrick walking through the kitchen. I turned from my cousins and jogged back into the house to my boyfriend who looked amazing in jeans and a light purple button up.

  “I’m heading out so you ladies can enjoy the party,” he commented as he pulled me close by the waist. I nodded and allowed him to press his lips softly to mine. “I’m going to meet a buddy in San Mateo. Just text me when everything is done here.”

  “Okay, sounds good,” I said before I allowed him to kiss me one more time.

  “I love you.”

  “I love you, too,” I echoed. I could hear my cousins awwing in the background. I allowed Patrick to let me go. He gave my mom a wave. “Have a good one mom,” he said to her. She managed a wave to him before he disappeared out of the front door. I loved that he and my parents had become close in this short amount of time. Right away, he was calling my parents mom and dad. Keaton always called them Mr. and Mrs. Elliot from day one and that was it, always so formal, but Patrick was instant family from the first moment.

  I smiled to myself before going into the kitchen where my mom was putting together the last of the food. It wasn’t going to be a family event without my mom cooking up a storm. I was particularly excited about her homemade and traditional Chicken Biryani.

  “You and Patrick seem to be getting very serious,” my mom mentioned casually while I snuck a spoon of her Biryani. “I saw that. I already put a tub of some in the fridge for you and Patrick.”

  “Awesome!” I cheered happily. I heard my cell phone alarm beep. I walked to my purse on the counter and pulled out a small round plastic disk. I opened it and popped one of the pills out before putting the disk back in the purse. I poured myself a glass of punch and swallowed the pill with one big swish. I looked to see my mom watching me.

  “Back on them?” She questioned. I knew she was referring to the birth control pill I’d just taken. After Keaton’s accident, I’d stopped taking my pills as there was no pregnancy to prevent.

  “Just being safe. We haven’t done anything yet, but I don’t want to take chances,” I admitted. Though I wanted a bright future with him that could possibly involve kids, right now wasn’t the time to start that future. Right now I wanted to be carefree and in love, just the way I was.

  “I’m happy with where you are. You look amazing Bri. You’ve gained some weight and you look vibrant. Love really brings a glow to you. A glow I’ve never seen you have before,” she seemed as if she had tears in her eyes as she spoke. I could only smile. “He’s good for you. You are always happy, never upset and anxious. You were always on edge when with Keaton. I didn’t like the way he made you feel about yourself. Making you feel special one minute and putting you down the next. I hated it, but now you’ve found someone who treats you with the respect you deserve.”

  “I never knew you felt that way,” I commented out of shock. April had made comments every now and then when Keaton wasn’t on his nice side with me, but my parents remained silent.

  “Your dad and I hated it. I never wanted to see my baby girl down and out because the man she chose to love didn’t know how to treat her with respect. So many times your dad wanted to give him some words, but I always told him no. I knew we would lose you in the process and I wasn’t going to allow that.” Tears were flowing from my mom’s eyes. I went straight to her and hugged her. I only wish my parents had said something. I respected any wisdom and advice from them. I was blinded to what was actually going on, I needed them to tell me. “All that matters now is that you are happy and that Patrick treats you like a queen.” I smiled, thinking of how amazing Patrick was to me and how vastly different it was compared to all my years with Keaton.

  “Mom! Bri!” Came my sister’s voice. I rolled my eyes. I was already excited for this shower to be done with. I wiped my eyes and put on my shower face.

  “Now, to get your sister on some birth control… Lord Jesus, babies 4 and 5,” my mom grumbled. I held back a laugh as the two of us started towards the back yard where the main party was set up.

  I FELT SEXY as I looked at myself in the mirror. After the party, my mom and I cleaned up. Once my mom left, I texted Patrick and went right to getting everything into place. I was now dressed in a silky champagne colored robe. Under my robe I only wore a perfectly sexy lace champagne bra and panty set. I’d lit candles all around the house and I wanted tonight to be perfect. We were so close the night before and I was definitely ready.

  My body buzzing with anticipation, I heard the front door open. I slipped my feet into my heels and opened my robe before making my way towards the front door. I saw Patrick rubbing his head and looking bewildered.

  “Paddy, is everything okay?” I asked him right away.

  “I need a drink,” he mumbled as he walked past me, without batting an eye, and right to the bar in his kitchen.

  He pulled out a glass and a bottle of whiskey. I watched him drown a shot of the brown liquor before he poured himself another one. I walked to him urgently and put my hand on his arm. He looked at me, for the first time since he came home, he really looked at me as I stood there in lingerie, ready for him.

  “Fuck! I want you so bad, but I can’t right now. It is all so messed up,” he continued. I had no idea what was going on and I needed to know.

  “Whatever is going on, you know you can tell me Paddy. I want to help. Please Babe, tell me,” I begged of
him. He drowned down his second shot and let out a sigh.

  “My ex, from Germany called. She says she is pregnant and is sure the baby is mine,” he explained and everything right there seemed to freeze. I felt my body go into shock. I swear I didn’t just hear him say that. I replayed that sentence over and over in my head for a few seconds.

  “She’s pregnant, and she thinks it’s yours?” I questioned, trying to clarify the situation. He nodded as he poured himself another shot. “What are you going to do?”

  “I have no fucking idea. I thought about it the whole ride home. I’ve got to be there for my baby. Maybe… I don’t know… Maybe move back to Germany. I can do my job from the office there.” I just stood there. He just said he would move back to Germany. Moving meant he would be leaving and leaving me behind. I didn’t want to make this situation about me, but in the end I was involved. Everything we had was perfect, more than perfect, and now it was all crashing down on me.

  “I need to go,” I said, trying to process all of this. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to scream and cry. I didn’t know what I wanted to do. All I could think of was Patrick leaving me. Going up to his bedroom I tore off my robe and threw a dress on. I was putting my things in my bag when I realized that I didn’t have my car as Patrick had drove me here. I could call a taxi or an Uber, but that would cost me too much, and my family lived too far. I was trapped here.

  “Babe!” I heard Patrick call. I had tears starting to fall as Patrick entered the bedroom to find me standing there crying with my bag in my hands. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to do. I never expected this. She just sprang this on me. She and I always used protection. We had this on and off relationship. We hooked up right before I moved back out here. We used a condom then, like always. Maybe it was defective, maybe she tampered with it, I don’t remember seeing a tear. I don’t know what to think about any of this. I just have no clue what to do right now.”