The Purple Heart

by Vincent Yee

  “Thanks, coach, I always appreciate your honesty,” said Hiroshi.

  “Yeah, if you really want to make a difference, son, you and a whole lot of you will have to prove yourselves. Kind of like how you proved yourself when you pitched for me last year,” said the coach.

  Hiroshi nodded as he pondered his words.

  “Son, you take care of yourself and the missus. If you need anything, you know where to find me.”

  “Thanks, coach.” The two men shook hands once more before the captain walked off.

  Hiroshi continued to stand there, gazing once more beyond the barbed wire gate when he turned around to head to block seven. His gaze was distracted as his eyes were drawn up to the top of the flagpole as the American flag waved in the wind. It stood high up and proud. An unexpected sense of patriotism suddenly welled up within him. There was always something about the red, white, and blue, along with the broad stripes and stars. It was a symbol of pride, and it commanded respect. It was truly a flag among flags. Hiroshi then cast his gaze downward and walked away.

  A few nights later, Minami was kneeling on the floor, propped up on one side of the bed correcting her students’ papers when Hiroshi entered. He only had on his jeans and he was bare-chested with his wet towel hanging from around his neck. She watched as Hiroshi crouched down at his suitcase to put away his toiletry items. He draped his towel on a string above. Hiroshi then slipped out of his jeans, folded them, plopped them onto his suitcase, and slipped into his sleeping clothes.

  Hiroshi turned to Minami, who had a sheepish grin on her face. He knelt down along the opposite side of the bed and leaned in to give Minami a kiss.

  “You know, the next time you want to change in front of me like that, you should warn me because I’m all distracted now,” said Minami with a hint of embarrassment.

  Hiroshi smiled back and asked, “How do you know that wasn’t my intent?”

  “You’re a naughty boy,” said Minami playfully.

  Hiroshi chuckled and Minami grinned in response. She went back to grading the papers as Hiroshi simply watched her.

  “You’re really working your students hard,” said Hiroshi.

  “Well, we might be in this prison camp but that doesn’t mean we’re going to let the kids grow up to be stupid,” said Minami.

  “I thought the real reason was to keep all the kids out of trouble,” remarked Hiroshi.

  Minami smiled back, “And that too. Oh, speaking of papers, here’s the questionnaire. Let’s just sign them and be over with them. Your parents are all done as well as my family. Father signed his reluctantly. I guess we’re the last ones.”

  Hiroshi took his copy and the pen that Minami offered him. Minami then reached into her school bag, plucked out another pen and began filling in the questionnaire. Hiroshi did the same and when he got to the questions challenging his patriotism, he paused and with some resentment, he answered “yes” to both questions. He wrote out his name, dated it, and signed it. Minami quietly signed hers, then took away Hiroshi’s questionnaire and placed it on the floor beside her.

  “I have a few more papers to grade, and then we can go to bed,” said Minami.

  “Mind if I watch?” asked Hiroshi.

  Minami smiled and brushed her hair aside and said, “Of course not.”

  Hiroshi watched his wife turned teacher’s assistant. She was so diligent, giving each paper her undivided attention. Her eyes move steadily back and forth as she read to herself. He admired her delicate hands as she wrote notes along the margins. Minami was just so beautiful, he thought.

  Minami finished the last paper and shuffled them into her bag. She turned to Hiroshi, smiled, and stood up. She was wearing a white nightgown with light pinkish vertical stripes that had ruffles along the cuffs and the hem.

  “Time for bed and another day,” exclaimed Minami playfully.

  Hiroshi stood up, looked at his wife, who looked five years younger in her girlish nightgown. He then turned off the light bulb hanging overhead as they slipped into bed. Minami snuggled into Hiroshi’s body as he wrapped his arms around her. She turned toward Hiroshi and gave him a goodnight kiss. They were getting comfortable when Minami whispered, “Good night.”

  Then Hiroshi whispered, “Minami, I decided to volunteer for the army.”

  Minami bolted from his arms, hopped off the bed, and turned on the light. Hiroshi quickly sat up and squinted for a moment before focusing his eyes on Minami, who looked bewildered. The string from the light bulb swayed back and forth behind her.

  “You’re going to do what?” she blurted out incredulously.

  “Shhh… everyone is asleep,” admonished Hiroshi.

  “I’m not going to ‘shhh’ until you tell me what you meant by that comment!” yelled Minami.

  Multiple “shhhs” came from the neighbors from within the barrack, and Hiroshi suddenly saw the light flicker on from his parents’ side of the barrack. He heard the unmistakable sound of feet slipping into slippers.

  He looked back at Minami, who was staring back at him with a frenzied look. He hadn’t known what to expect. He just didn’t know how to tell Minami and wasn’t really sure if there was a proper way of telling her. He had actually made up his mind a few days earlier and always found a convenient reason to delay the inevitable. However, with the signing of the Loyalty Questionnaire, he felt compelled to tell her. Now he deeply regretted the way he told Minami. But it was the mounting pressure and his self-induced anxiety that made his words tumble out the way they did.

  Hiroshi’s father poked his head into the unit and asked if everything was okay.

  “Tell him! Tell your father what you told me!” Minami said to Hiroshi.

  Mr. Satoh was taken aback by Minami’s raised voice and agitated posture. With the blanket partition still wrapped about his neck, he turned his head toward his son. Hiroshi didn’t want to break the news to his parents this way, but Minami’s unexpected outburst gave him no choice. Hiroshi let out a sigh and then said, “Dad, I’m joining the army.”

  “No,” said his father in disbelief as his eyes widened in alarm. Before Hiroshi could respond, he pulled back his head and disappeared. Hiroshi heard his father talking to his mother, then heard her slipping into her slippers and shuffling over. Hiroshi looked over at Minami, who simply said to him in an accusatory manner, “Now look at what you’ve done.”

  Hiroshi turned his head and saw his mother’s head peering through the blanket partition. She looked at Hiroshi and asked, “What did you say to your father?”

  For the third time, Hiroshi said, “I’m joining the army.”

  His mother’s eyes widened in surprise as Mr. Satoh pushed her through the blanket partition and she abruptly tumbled toward Hiroshi. Hiroshi caught his mother and steadied her as an expression of concern washed over her face.

  “Hiroshi, you don’t need to join the army. They’re only looking for volunteers,” she said.

  Hiroshi looked over at Minami and then he looked at his parents. The thoughts that he had kept to himself for the past few days, the reasons for his decision started to solidify in his mind. Hiroshi ran his right hand firmly through his hair as he averted his eyes from his family. For a moment, there was a look of consternation on his face, then he looked up with a firm expression and spoke. “I look all around me and I see thousands of Japanese Americans who have been taken away from their homes and locked away on this damn prison. The unfairness of it all is just unforgivable. I’ve tried to justify it from their point of view and I can’t, because I know that I’m an American. No matter how they try to justify it, they can’t take away what I know is true in my heart, that I’m an American. I then look at you, Mom and Dad, I think about how unfair this is to the two of you. You were taken away from your home and had your lives stripped away. You didn’t even have a say in the matter. And then I look at Minami and how loving she is, how wonderful that she is my wife. But I ask myself, is this the way a new husband is supposed to start off a marriag
e? Is this the way that he’s supposed to support her and care for her? Are we going to live out our lives on this damn prison?”

  Hiroshi paused as he arched his neck back and then continued, “And I’m so frustrated that we all allowed this to happen! I mean, we were so willing to go along with this and why? I don’t get it. But now that we’re all here, it’s like we have to prove that we are Americans, even when we shouldn’t have to. But ultimately, I want something better for all of you. I don’t want you to live the rest of your lives on this goddamn prison!”

  Minami rushed over to Hiroshi and wrapped her arms around his waist as tears slowly streamed down her face. She was shaking her head slowly into his chest. Hiroshi held her and stroked her hair, feeling its silkiness against his skin. He inhaled deeply and continued, “And my thoughts always go back to my loving wife, whom I love so much and I say to myself, she deserves better than this.”

  Minami choked back her tears as she answered, “What I deserve is you being here, and we’ll face whatever challenges that lie ahead of us together.”

  “What you deserve is a husband who is willing to fight for our freedom so that we can be truly together.”

  “Fuck freedom! I don’t want you to go! You don’t have to prove anything to me. I love you!” Minami exclaimed as her voice rose to a crescendo.

  Hiroshi wrapped his arms tighter around Minami, trying to reassure her as he began to hold back the tightening of his throat. He leaned his head into Minami’s ever more affectionately as a flood of thoughts rushed through his mind. He never intended to see his wife so hurt. Her tears began to soak through his nightshirt.

  “Hiroshi, listen to us and to Minami. You don’t have to go,” said Hiroshi’s mother. “They’re only looking for volunteers and signing that questionnaire doesn’t mean you have to go.”

  Hiroshi turned to his parents, who stared at him with worried faces. What just transpired was never his intent. But he must have been naïve to think that his parents or Minami would have just accepted his answer without protest or worry. Hiroshi inhaled deeply and then simply said, “I’m going.”

  Minami suddenly dug her fingertips into Hiroshi’s lower back and stomped her feet several times as she shouted in defiance, “No! No! No!”

  Hiroshi held her even firmer trying to soothe her and then said, “I’ll be back, I promise.”

  Suddenly Minami pushed back from Hiroshi, breaking the embrace. She stumbled backwards and then just looked at Hiroshi. Her eyes were red from the tears and her face was flushed. Wet strands of hair were pasted on her cheeks, and there was an intensity in her eyes that Hiroshi had never ever seen before.

  “You can’t promise that! You’re going off to fight some stupid war!” screamed Minami.

  “If not me, then who will?” responded Hiroshi.

  “Then someone else! There’s always someone else! You don’t have to go, we’ll survive, Hiroshi!”

  “That sounds really selfish. If we don’t do it, then who will?”

  Minami’s face flushed with anger as her eyes narrowed in Hiroshi’s direction. “Selfish? Selfish! You want to talk about being selfish? You didn’t even discuss this with me, and I’m your wife! I didn’t marry you so that you can go off to war to prove something that’s not necessary!”

  Hiroshi was unprepared for Minami’s response, but determination and strength coursed through him as he yelled back, “I’m doing this for you! I’m doing this for our families so that we can show to America that we are American and that we are willing to fight for America!”

  “But it doesn’t have to be you! You’re leaving me, Hiroshi!” Minami broke down and started to sob.

  Hiroshi stepped forward but her face flared up with formidable anger and with a forbidding wave of her hand. “Stay where you, don’t come any nearer!” she cried.

  Hiroshi froze. There was such ferocity in her voice that he had to momentarily collect his thoughts so he could try to reassure her. In a softer, collected tone he spoke. “Minami, don’t worry. I’ll ask to be in some tank so that I won’t be hurt.”

  Minami’s face crumbled. The mere thought that Hiroshi may be shot at or killed so tore at her that she impulsively turned toward the blanket partition and ran out. Hiroshi started after her, but his parents held him back. “Minami!” he screamed urgently after her. Hiroshi’s eyes welled up in tears at seeing her so angry and hurt. Hiroshi’s mother stepped in front of him. Although she looked clearly worried, she was still in control of herself. She looked up at Hiroshi reassuringly. “I’ll go after her. You stay here and think about what you just said.”

  Hiroshi felt hopeless as his composure started to fade. He nodded to his mother, who stepped through the blanket partition just when they heard the door to the barrack slam shut. There was a great deal of commotion coming from the neighbors. No one dared confront the situation, but the exchange between Hiroshi and Minami loudly echoed the very thoughts they had been pondering. Hiroshi’s father sat his son down and quickly stepped through the blanket partition.

  Hiroshi ran his fingers through his hair with both hands, attempting to massage away the throbbing emotions that had built up against his temples. He looked down at the floor and tried to reflect on his exchange with Minami. He began to tell himself that she would understand soon enough. Hiroshi’s father stepped back through the blanket partition and stood in front his son.

  “Hiroshi, when did you make this decision?” he asked.

  Hiroshi was still looking down at the floor, “A few days ago.”

  “And you didn’t bring it up until now?”

  “I wanted to, but I never found a good time to tell you. I thought a right time would come up,” replied Hiroshi.

  “Well, you certainly picked a good time tonight,” said Hiroshi’s father flatly.

  Hiroshi wasn’t sure if his father was making a joke or was being serious. After wiping away the hot tears, he looked up at his father.

  “Hiroshi, you don’t need to go. You have responsibility here. You just got married. Think about how unfair this is to her.”

  “Dad, this whole thing is unfair. And my decision to join has everything to do with her.”

  “Hiroshi, you don’t need to prove anything, just be a good husband to Minami…”

  “That’s why I’m doing this!” Hiroshi interjected. “What kind of husband would I be if I can’t free my wife and our families from this prison because some white people say that I’m not American in their eyes!”

  At that moment, Hiroshi’s father could tell that his son had made up his mind. He didn’t want to see his son go to war. Hiroshi was his only child, and the thought of losing him carried too great of a weight to think about just yet. But he saw his son confused and alone, and he wanted to let his son know that he would support him in whatever decision he made, even if he personally didn’t agree with it, and no matter how sad it made him feel.

  “Such strength, such determination,” said his father. For a moment, he admired something he had never before seen in his son: Courage.

  He knelt down in front of Hiroshi and placed a warm hand on his son’s strong shoulder. He spoke reassuringly, “Sleep on it, Minami will be back.”

  He was wrong.

  * * *

  Minami ran all the way back to her parents’ barrack barefoot. The jagged pebbles in the ground did their damage; she left a bloodied trail behind her. She burst into her parents’ side of the unit, alarming them with her uncontrollable sobs and incoherent choked words. Her mother cradled her daughter gently in her arms as Miho tended to her bloodied feet. Hiroshi’s mother recounted the night’s event to Minami’s father. He nodded at every single main point.

  After a while, Mr. Ito looked at his wife, who looked up and whispered, “She’s finally asleep. She’s exhausted.”

  Mr. Ito nodded and then looked down at Miho, who looked back up at him. “I did the best I could, Dad. I’ll help her tomorrow when she wakes up.” There was such an expression of worry and concern
on Miho’s face that Mr. Ito gave her an appreciative nod. He turned to Mrs. Satoh, thanked her for watching after his daughter, and walked her back to her barrack.

  Minami began to sleep away, withdrawing herself from the world. Attempts by her parents to get her to talk to Hiroshi failed. She stubbornly refused to talk to him unless he changed his mind. But Hiroshi didn’t.

  Minami felt utterly betrayed and abandoned. She was so happy at one moment with Hiroshi and then all of sudden, he took that away from her with his decision. He was her husband, and his first duty should be to her. She felt herself questioning her marriage to Hiroshi.

  A couple of days later, Hiroshi came to Minami’s barrack. Out of respect for Minami and her family, he went around to the back and whispered her name, but it was her father who swung open the window. Hiroshi didn’t know how Mr. Ito would react. But he was surprisingly calm.

  “How is Minami?” Hiroshi asked with a concerned look on his face.

  Mr. Ito replied flatly, “She’s sleeping.” Hiroshi turned away in heartbroken frustration.

  Hiroshi brushed away his emotions and out of duty than anything else, he asked Mr. Ito for the water pail. Mr. Ito lowered it down to him, and Hiroshi walked away to fetch the water. When he returned, he lifted the filled water pail to Mr. Ito, who thanked him.

  Hiroshi then asked of Mr. Ito a favor.

  “What is it, Hiroshi?” asked Mr. Ito.