The Purple Heart

by Vincent Yee

  “Would you please tell Minami I miss her… and that I love her?”

  Mr. Ito looked down at the sad Hiroshi and said, “I will.”

  As Hiroshi took a couple of steps, Mr. Ito added reassuringly, “Hiroshi, give her a few more days. She’ll come around.”

  But Minami never did come around.

  For the next few days, the same routine was repeated. Hiroshi diligently came to Minami’s barrack, fetched the two pails of water, and walked away without a word to his wife. Minami’s parents tried to convince their daughter to step out of whatever lonely world she was in, but Minami stubbornly refused. Minami insisted that if she relented, Hiroshi would not change his mind.

  When Minami’s parents tried to convince her to talk to Hiroshi, Minami responded with unequivocal anger. Mr. Ito resorted to yelling at his daughter, but when he did, she would respond even more loudly and strongly. But it was Minami’s tears and choked-back emotions that held Mr. Ito at bay. Minami was still his daughter, and he loved her. It pained his heart deeply to see her that way. So he would always back down.

  The reality of the situation was dawning on everyone: Hiroshi was going to be shipped off soon, and everyone’s attention focused on this gut-wrenching eventuality. Hiroshi’s mother carefully packed and repacked her son’s suitcase, holding each of his items with care as she tried to brush away the thought that it may be the last time she would ever pack anything for her son. She became overly attentive to her son, asking him if there was anything that he needed. Hiroshi would always thank her and say reassuringly that the war may be over before he would even enter it.

  Hiroshi’s father was still his quiet self. In the time leading up to Hiroshi’s eventual departure, which was scheduled for early spring, he reflected on the fact that his son was going to be a soldier. A sense of duty and pride that only a father could have overtook him as he reluctantly gave his support to his son. But his heart still ached for him. He could tell that the time of separation from Minami was eating away at his son’s very core. He had thought Minami’s anger would give way to reason, but it hadn’t, and he bitterly blamed Minami for her immaturity. But Minami was now also his daughter-in-law, and he saw her as his very own daughter. He would become frustrated at the entire situation and felt hopeless to resolve it. His daily chats with Mr. Ito bore no additional news on Minami. This left both men frustrated.

  On the day before Hiroshi’s departure, Hiroshi arrived at the back of Minami’s barrack to see Mr. Ito, who was waiting for him.

  “Good morning, Hiroshi,” called down Mr. Ito.

  “Good morning,” replied Hiroshi. “How is Minami today?”

  Mr. Ito sighed and said, “Still the same.”

  Hiroshi looked down at his feet and looked up toward Mr. Ito. “I’ve brought some things with me. I believe most of Minami’s items have been brought back.”

  “Yes, Hiroshi, I think she has most of them,” Mr. Ito replied as he looked over to his right to see Minami sleeping with her back turned to him.

  “I have a few personal items here that I’d like her to have while I’m away. I figured she’s the best person to watch over them.”

  Mr. Ito took notice of the seeming finality of Hiroshi’s tone and his voice reflected a tone of sympathy to the young man who undoubtedly still loved his daughter immensely. “Sure, anything, Hiroshi.”

  “It’s just a few things to remind her of me, nothing much,” said Hiroshi as he lifted up a bag toward Mr. Ito who hauled it up. “It’s my baseball mitt and the bat that I hit the home run with. Tell her that the home run ball that she caught is at the bottom.”

  Mr. Ito looked down at Hiroshi. There was sadness in Hiroshi’s eyes, but he stared right up at Mr. Ito without blinking as silent determination held his tears at bay.

  “And Mr. Ito,” said Hiroshi.

  “Yes Hiroshi?”

  “Tell Minami that I’ll miss her and that I’ll be home soon.”

  There was a pause and Mr. Ito responded, “You will come home soon, right?”

  Another pause, “I will come home.”

  Mr. Ito smiled at Hiroshi’s confidence and believed him. He wanted to believe Hiroshi, and hoped that he would soon come home to his daughter.

  “Oh, one more thing…”

  “Anything, son,” said Mr. Ito.

  “Can you lower me the pail?”

  Mr. Ito chuckled and lowered the water pail down to Hiroshi. He watched as the solid frame of the young man walked away and felt such a sense of pride for having the opportunity to know Hiroshi, the man who would be a soldier for the United States Army.

  The next day was an emotional one for many families in the prison camp. Like Hiroshi, many young men decided to volunteer. Even though many of their families, like the Satohs, balked at their sons’ decisions, they couldn’t stop them. Even Mrs. Yasuda’s two sons–her older son, who had been taken away for questioning, and the recently turned nineteen-year-old Kenji, who had driven the Itos to the pick-up center, volunteered.

  Many families and friends gathered to wish their loved ones the best of luck. No one wanted to say goodbye because they wanted to be hopeful that their loved ones would return. The pick-up time was scheduled for 11 A.M. Slowly, the crowd grew larger by the main gate. About two hundred young men from the prison camp were going to leave that fateful morning.

  It was 8 A.M., and Hiroshi stood tall and confident as his parents proudly admired him in their barrack. But beneath the calmness, a profound sadness lurked behind every proud thought, every smile, and every laugh. Everyone was trying to be strong for each another.

  Hiroshi wanted to look proper. He decided to wear the navy slacks from his wedding suit. The white short-sleeve shirt was recently ironed with the top button undone. He looked more like he was going to work at some office than going off to war. But he looked strong and handsome nonetheless.

  His father walked over, gently brushed his son’s shoulders and looked him in the eyes, “Be a good soldier, son, make us all proud.”

  Hiroshi nodded confidently and replied, “I will, Dad. I will make you and Mom proud.”

  Hiroshi turned to his mother whose eyes were glazed over with tears. His father then caught Hiroshi’s attention as he gave him a firm look. His eyes looked soulful as he gazed at his son for possibly the last time. He struggled with the words that came out of his mouth, “And remember, a son is not supposed to die before his father. So you come back home soon.”

  Hiroshi’s mother’s composure crumbled as she brought her hands up to her face. Her eyes welled up with tears. Hiroshi’s father’s expression was still firm, but his eyes began to tear up as he reached out for his wife to wrap a reassuring arm around her shoulders. Hiroshi rolled his hands into tight fists, digging his nails into his palms. He wanted to be strong for his parents, for their sake. He clenched down on his teeth and closed his eyes as he felt every muscle strain to hold himself together, but he couldn’t as he reached out to his parents with both of his arms. He held his sobbing parents in his arms, their warmth permeating through him. It had been a long time since he had held his parents, and on that day, he so needed to. He held onto the two people who had watched him grow up and who had been there for him every single day of his entire life. He rested his head against theirs as he sobbed softly.

  Hiroshi’s father stepped back suddenly and unexpectedly blurted out, “We better let you get going, or we’ll soak your clean shirt.”

  Hiroshi’s mother also stepped back and chuckled for a moment as she leaned into her husband. Hiroshi couldn’t believe that his father had just made a joke, but it gave the fraught moment some much needed levity. They wiped away their tears and composed themselves as they prepared to go to breakfast. Minami’s family was supposed to meet them at the mess hall. There was going to be a little farewell for all the young men leaving block twenty. Three hours remained before departure, but the one person that always came back to Hiroshi’s mind was Minami. She still would not see him, and it saddened
him immensely that he may not be able to see her before he left. He was sure that as the departure date got closer, she would change her mind. As his father solemnly picked up his son’s suitcase, Hiroshi looked out of the window towards Minami’s barrack.

  Hiroshi’s mother then softly took her son’s arm into hers and steered him away from the window. He turned away resignedly, leaned reassuringly into his mother and began to follow his father, who was already walking ahead of them with Hiroshi’s suitcase in hand. His gait was slow and deliberate, and it looked like he was leading his son into battle. They stepped out into a cool, sunny morning as sadness lingered in the air.

  Hiroshi heard footsteps from around the corner and his heart skipped for a moment when he saw Minami’s parents round the corner of his barrack. But there was no Minami. Everyone looked up at Hiroshi, and though they were glad to see him, they were also hiding their sadness.

  Hiroshi looked at Minami’s parents and asked, “Minami?”

  Mr. and Mrs. Ito looked at one another. Mrs. Ito put her head down and Mr. Ito spoke, “No Hiroshi, no Minami.” In a disappointed tone Mr. Ito continued, “We thought we had just about convinced her into coming out today. She was up and about, even washed up but when we mentioned that we were going to see you, she went back to bed. We had to leave because of her screaming, and we didn’t want to miss you.”

  Hiroshi nodded in sadness. Hiroshi’s mother prodded him gently and whispered, “Maybe she’ll still come out, there’s still time.”

  They had taken a couple of steps when Hiroshi stopped and all eyes turned on him curiously. “I can’t leave it like this,” he said as he looked about him until he focused his eyes on his mother.

  Then his mother said encouragingly “Then go to her, Hiroshi.”

  Hiroshi felt emboldened and nodded. “I’ll meet you at the mess hall for breakfast.”

  Everyone encouraged him to go, to try one last time to get Minami to come to her senses. No one wanted Hiroshi and Minami to leave each other like this. It was excruciatingly painful to watch their marriage deteriorate as it did. Hiroshi turned back to the barrack when a thought went through his mind: “The pail!” Instead of running around the barrack, he went back into it, which drew confused looks from both the Itos and Satohs.

  Hiroshi ran to the back of the barrack and parted the blanket partition. He looked at the opened window in front of him and then at the empty pail. He raced to the pail, grabbed it by its handle and jumped out of the window. His feet landed on the dry ground as puffs of dirt rose up, and then he sprinted to Minami’s barrack.

  Minami was half-asleep in her bed. The blanket was pulled up, partially covering her face. She felt bereft of life, and she lacked the will to go on. She had spent the last few weeks in a state of depression. Thoughts of abandonment, betrayal and deceit ran through her mind. The dark thoughts penetrated her very soul, robbing her of any energy. Her family was intimidated by her morbid brooding, but she withdrew from the world by sleeping away as much as possible. She tried to forget what she ultimately couldn’t.

  “Minami,” yelled Hiroshi from outside of the window. Hiroshi had arrived at Minami’s barrack, but decided to talk to her instead. Confronting her would be too overwhelming. He called out to her again: “Minami!”

  Minami didn’t answer him. Her eyes quickly widened in fear and anticipation as anger raced through her, only to be met by an unknown sense of guilt. She quickly pulled the blanket over her head, but she couldn’t block out Hiroshi’s voice.

  “Minami, I know that you can hear me,” Hiroshi called. “And if you won’t see me or talk to me, then you can at least listen to me. I’m leaving today.” Hiroshi paused as he placed the pail down in front of him and let out a deep sigh. He placed both of his palms against the wall, sunk his head down for a moment and looked up at the empty window.

  “I know I hurt you that night and for that I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t think that you would react the way you did. I knew you would be upset, but I didn’t think about how upset you would be. Just as much as I know within my heart that I love you, I know that my decision to join the army is the right decision. I know that it’s not fair, Minami, and I don’t know what more I can do. I hope you understand that I’m doing this because I love you and when I get back, we’ll leave this damn prison together and be happy again with our freedom. I’ll prove to everyone, that we’re just as American as everyone else!”

  There was still nothing at the window and Hiroshi then looked down dejected and kicked one of the upright supports of the barrack. “Damn Minami! Why won’t you understand? I remember everything about you, every moment we spent together. I remember your eyes, your nose, your lips, your hair, your scent… you’re just the most beautiful woman ever. I even foolishly brought the damn water pail with me thinking that maybe we could get water together. I got it right here and it stands here empty, like me because I’m empty without you. I never cared about the damn water, Minami. I only cared that we were together!”

  Hiroshi then looked down at the water pail as he squeezed his eyes shut in heart-wrenching anguish. A tear gently slid from his eye and fell into the pail, splattering itself into a small drop of tear. Hiroshi looked up once more and spoke, “But I guess it was foolish for me to think you would come out and get water with me. So I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll leave the pail here, right here! So that when I do come back, we can go get water together once more, like we used to. Minami, I love you!”

  Hiroshi pushed himself away from the wall hoping that Minami heard all his words but he couldn’t be sure. He turned away from the barrack, wiped away his tears and walked back to the mess hall.

  Minami did hear every single word, despite her efforts to block them out. But his words only reopened the painful emotions that had consumed her over the past few weeks. She wanted to avoid them at all costs. She curled herself into a little ball, hoping that the tighter she pulled herself together, the better she’d be able to squeeze out those emotions. She started to sob deeply and found that she couldn’t breathe while choking back her tears. She heard Hiroshi’s words but each time he proclaimed something, she cast it off as another lie from him. If he really loved her, he would not leave her.

  Her body had no choice but to force her to sleep, to calm her down from her mental exhaustion. As sleep came over her, her body regained control from her broken heart and began to relax once more.

  Minami’s eyes fluttered open a little later as the torrent of emotions faded away, at least temporarily. She wasn’t even sure if her memory of Hiroshi professing his love to her was real or a cruel dream. But she was exhausted and her body ached from being in bed for so long, so she reluctantly pushed herself up into an upright position.

  She rested her face into her hands and felt her tangled hair brushing up against them. She looked up, reached for her brush and brushed her hair a few times before casually throwing it onto the pillow as it tumbled silently onto the bed. She wiped away her tears, took in a deep breath as thoughts of Hiroshi entered her mind. It wasn’t her imagination. Hiroshi did come by, and he spoke to her. His words of a false love pained her.

  Then she felt the warmth of the sun upon her back as she turned around to look at the open window. A small breeze entered and swirled about, then disappeared. It was almost as if the window beckoned her. She slowly rose up. She had even changed that morning, as her parents almost convinced her to go see Hiroshi. But at the last minute, she adamantly refused. She didn’t want to see him. She didn’t want to be reminded all over again that he was abandoning her.

  She strolled over to the window and allowed the warmth of the sun to massage her. It was a beautiful morning. Minami knew what day it was: It was the day that Hiroshi was leaving her. But she had believed strongly that Hiroshi would not leave her if he really loved her, and she stubbornly held onto that belief. She wrapped her arms around her body and looked out once more. Then a singular thought entered her mind, “What if Hiroshi did leave?”

 
; Hiroshi’s determination and his sometimes-defiant nature were what she liked about him. He had spirit, and she felt as though he could take her away whenever he wanted to. The reality, though, was that they were locked up in a prison, and he couldn’t really whisk her away to some star in the night sky. A smile then crept over her face as she thought about the time when she pointed out the constellation Aquarius to him. She laughed to herself when Hiroshi realized that Aquarius was the water boy. She knew then that Hiroshi truly understood her. Finding a man who could empathize with her like that would be close to impossible.

  Her thoughts flashed back to Hiroshi’s surprising proposal. That moment of absolute perfection would have convinced any girl to say yes. He actually did bring a star to her when he couldn’t take her to one. She had held back those happy thoughts for a long while.

  Then she looked down and suddenly spotted Hiroshi’s empty pail on the ground. It hadn’t been a dream. He did come to the barrack, but the thought of him brought tears to her eyes. She placed both of her hands on the windowsill to steady herself and lowered her head to compose herself. As she held back her emotions, a solitary tear escaped and streamed down her face. It dripped from her jaw and raced freely downward into the pail and landed directly on top of Hiroshi’s. Though his teardrop had almost dried up, her teardrop revitalized it as they melded together into one.

  Minami then spotted a young couple leaning up against the wall of the barrack next to hers. The man leaned into the woman and kissed her. They embraced affectionately, and Minami couldn’t help feeling happy at this romantic sight. The man then pulled back, looked at his watch and his expression turned to one of alarm. He quickly placed another kiss on his girlfriend’s lips and pulled her away as he exclaimed, “The bus, I’m going to be late!” They raced off together and vanished from sight.

  Minami asked herself why she couldn’t have that kind of happiness–but then a voice of reason entered her head and reminded her that she did. But she didn’t believe that voice. “A man who is married wouldn’t leave his wife,” she said. But she felt a deep sense of guilt as she looked at her left hand. The diamond ring glistened for a moment. She had told herself she would cherish it forever, but now, she was no longer so sure. In frustration, she gripped the ring with her right fingers to pull it off, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She tried once more. Maybe throwing the ring away would make her forget everything about her husband–but she still couldn’t do it. She sighed loudly and looked down at the ring. “I’m still his wife.”