Chasing My Forever

by Heidi McLaughlin

  “Are you busy the next couple of days?” I ask her.

  “Besides work, not really.”

  “Do you think your parents will give you a couple of days off? I’d like to drive over and see Sofia before I go.”

  “It’s what, like six hours from here?” Kellie asks, even though she’s looking it up on her phone. “Yeah, I’ll go. Let me text my mom. When do you want to leave?”

  “Now. She has to work, but I figure we can sightsee and meet up with her for drinks.”

  “Go pack. We’re taking your car.”

  It’s always risky, traveling hours to another person’s house without them knowing it, but I didn’t want to risk Sofia telling me not to come because that’s exactly what she’d do.

  Kellie and I made excellent time getting to Phoenix. We found a hotel not far from Sofia’s house, and when I called her this morning, she told me she was off at noon and would call me, so I could tell her all about my date.

  In hindsight, Kellie and I should’ve waited until today to drive over because now we’re aimlessly wasting time.

  “I say we just go over there and surprise her. It’s hotter than Hades out here and the AC in our room is on the fritz.”

  True, we went on the cheap side when it came to finding a room, but showing up unannounced, more so than we already are, will upset my friend. But I give in.

  “Okay, but I’m telling Sofia this was your idea.”

  Kellie brushes me off. “She’ll be fine once we get some tequila into her.”

  As sad as it is to say, I’m really looking forward to a night of drinking. Sofia has a pool and I can easily picture the three of us sitting by it with a drink in our hand, gossiping like we used to back in college. Okay, college wasn’t that long ago, but still.

  Kellie and I enter the subdivision where Sofia lives. My GPS is telling me to turn right, left, drive straight and turn again. When we finally pull into the driveway, I inhale deeply, trying to calm my nerves. Now that I’m here, I’m second-guessing myself. I’m a horrible friend.

  “Someone’s looking out the window.” Kellie points, but by the time I look, the blinds are closed.

  “Well, we can’t sit here. Let’s go say hi to her mom.”

  We make our way to the front door. The landscape here is cacti and other native to the desert plants, and the yard is concrete. No grass.

  Kellie rings the doorbell while my heart has jumped out of my chest and is currently running back to my car and speeding down the road. “I think we’re making—”

  The opening of the door cuts off my words. Sofia’s mother stands there, keeping the wooden structure close to her body.

  “May I help you?”

  “Ms. Tucker, do you remember us? We met in Idaho when you came to visit Sofia? I’m Eleanora and this is Kellie.”

  The woman, with her blonde ponytail and dark makeup apprises us while we stand there. I smile every few seconds, waiting for her to say something. I’m trying not to stare, but her blue eyes, they’re vibrant like Quinn’s and I find myself missing him.

  “Is there something you need?”

  “We came to surprise Sofia,” Kellie tells her. “I live in Los Angeles and Eleanora is about to head back to South Carolina, but she wanted to say goodbye to Sofia first.”

  Ms. Tucker’s eyes go from Kellie to mine. “You’re the one lying to your parents?”

  Busted. “Um… yeah.” Thanks, Sof, for keeping my secret. “We’ll just go.”

  “You can come in and wait if you want.” She pushes the door open and for some reason, before I step in, I look around the room. Creepy, thriller type music should be playing right now because something is telling me to run. Yet, I don’t. I step in and Kellie follows.

  Everything about their living room is odd. The walls are bare. There isn’t a single picture, decoration or book on the mantel or bookcase. Plastic covers their floral couch, making it seem like we stepped back into the sixty’s. Even as I look around, I can feel Ms. Tucker’s eyes on me. She’s watching my every move and it’s starting to freak me out.

  “Would you like something to drink?” she asks, stepping in front of me. I jump back slightly and refrain from putting my hand over my heart to calm it down.

  “Sure, Ms. Tucker, that’d be great.” My throat’s dry, parched. However, I’m far from thirsty.

  “Call me Alicia. Follow me, but please don’t touch anything.”

  “What are we supposed to touch?” I mouth to Kellie as soon as Alicia turns her back on us. All Kellie and I can do is look at each other. Alicia Tucker is odd and wasn’t like this when she visited Sofia. When we met her last time, she was funny and the life of the party. Today, she’s acting like she’s a distant relative of Hannibal Lector.

  Kellie and I find our footing and walk into the kitchen. Alicia is flittering around, looking through cabinets, opening and closing the refrigerator, and I’m standing here wondering what she did in the few seconds we weren’t right behind her. Did she pull a knife out of the holder and hide it? I look for one on the counter but don’t see one.

  “Do you know what time Sofia will be home?” Kellie asks.

  Alicia stills, and looks out the kitchen window. “Twelve thirty-seven.”

  Not twelve forty or one o’clock. Right now, I have never wished so hard for my phone to ring, for Rhett to call and bug me or for Williemae to call and tell me something adorable that’s happened to my niece. Nope, nothing but pure silence.

  Alicia sets two plastic cups on the counter. “I just… you should go outside,” she says, brushing past us to open the sliding glass door. Kellie and I don’t hesitate. We grab our cups and step out onto the patio. I expect Alicia to follow us, but she doesn’t. The door slides shut and the pit in my stomach grows.

  “What the hell did we just walk into?”

  “I don’t know, but I have a feeling that door is locked,” I say, refusing to look behind me.

  I don’t know about Kellie, but I’m scanning the yard for an escape route. The fence surrounding the backyard is at least eight feet high with cacti plants everywhere, making it near impossible to climb over.

  Kellie’s the first one to move. She takes a seat on one of the chairs near the pool.

  “I’m not going in there,” I tell her. “It’s probably filled with acid or something to kill us.”

  “And I’m not drinking this either, but I don’t see a place to dump it and it wouldn’t surprise me if she has video cameras set up everywhere. Seriously, what the hell did we walk into?”

  “I don’t know, but I’m texting Rhett.” I pull my phone out of my back pocket and type out my message. “No service.”

  “How is that possible?” Kellie asks. She takes her phone out and finds the same issue. “Do you think she has a block on her house?”

  I shake my head. “How is Sofia so normal with a mother like that?”

  “I don’t know, but she needs to hurry up and get home because every worst-case scenario is going through my mind right now.”

  “Mine too,” I mutter back. Despite Sofia posting a picture of her brother the other day, this confirms everything. There is no way the Quinn I know is related to this woman, and he definitely doesn’t come here to visit. Sofia on the other hand, I really don’t understand how my best friend is so normal compared to her mother.

  The both of us watch the time on our phones tick by. Second by second, we count down the minutes until Sofia is due home while keeping our minds open to our surroundings. Alicia doesn’t grace us with her odd presence or ask if we need anything else to drink or if we might have to use the bathroom. If she’s planning on killing us, she’s waiting until her daughter is home, so she can help hide our bodies.

  A car pulls up and seconds later a door slams. I can hear Sofia’s voice, but Alicia must be whispering. I’m watching the sliding glass door, waiting for my friend to appear. The door opens hastily. Kellie and I stand, my legs shake causing my knees to knock together.

  So
fia marches toward us, her face distorted from anger and vengeance. I open my mouth to tell her we’re sorry for showing up unannounced, but something tells me my apology will fall on deaf ears.

  “What are you doing here? I don’t remember inviting you to my house. Since when is it okay to show up to someone’s house without their knowledge. You both need to leave and never come back.”

  “Sofia, we’re—”

  She holds her hand up, stopping me. “Get out. Don’t ever come back. If I wanted you here, I would’ve asked you. You’re not welcome.”

  “Let’s go, Eleanora,” Kellie says, reaching for my hand. “If you could show us a way out that wouldn’t require us to go by your mother, we’d appreciate it.”

  Sofia walks away. I’m not sure if we’re supposed to follow her or not, but Kellie does and she’s pulling me right along with her. Sofia stops at the section of fencing that’s attached to their garage. She lifts a gray box, pushes some numbers and the gate opens. The realization that we were trapped starts to set in.

  “I don’t understand, Sofia.”

  “Leave,” she says. “Don’t ever call me again.”

  Kellie doesn’t think twice about it. We have to step through two cacti plants, scraping the skin on our arms and legs as we pass, and we all but run to my car, where Alicia is standing. I try to smile, but I know for a fact it’s nothing more than a grimace.

  We get in. I start the car and don’t even worry about putting on my seat belt. One last look ahead, I find Alicia standing there, waving.

  23

  Quinn

  I knew joining a band would be time-consuming. What I hadn’t banked on was being so tired at the end of the day, which in band life, is the early hours of the next morning, resulting in me neglecting the important things in life. For instance, I’d really like to take a shower, at least one that lasted longer than five minutes. Shaving would be nice, but instead, I have this nice beard coming in. I’ve never been a fan of them but removing it any time in the near future doesn’t seem to be on my to-do list. My mother would like to have lunch, or at least, see me because talking to my sister to get to me is not enough proof that I’m still alive. Calling Nola or responding to one of her text messages would also be nice. I’m sure by now she’s made the assumption that I’m a total douche and wants nothing to do with me, which honestly, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. As much as I like her, starting a relationship while this band is getting off the ground probably isn’t the best idea. Most of my time is going to be tied up with my new “family” and I’m sure Nola has better things to do than to wait for me.

  I’d also like to grocery shop, clean my apartment, and sleep. All of which have gone by the wayside.

  Right now, it’s circle time, just like we had in kindergarten. It’s actually our daily meeting where Elle encourages us to open up, get to know one another and air our differences so that there’s nothing creating a wedge between any of us. I suppose now is the time to tell Ajay that I’m completely jealous of how good he is on the drums and my dad dotes on him or tell Elle that I think she’s turning into a massive diva.

  Nope. Instead, I sit here and keep those thoughts to myself because they’ll make me look petty and childish. I’m already struggling with this envy thing that I have with Ajay and my father, and I don’t want to drag the rest of the band into it. Honestly, it’s not something that can be fixed by anyone but myself. I don’t want my dad to stop mentoring Ajay, and I definitely don’t want to hurt Elle’s band.

  That’s all we are right now, Elle’s band or this band she’s put together. We haven’t decided on a name. Hendrix, who I have grown to love, suggested we have “experience” at the end of whatever we decide on. Elle vetoed it, saying we’re not a Jimi cover band. The dude looked pretty dejected, but I agree with my sister.

  “Quinn, do you have any ideas on a band name?” Elle asks.

  I shake my head. “Sorry, I don’t.” It’s one of the reasons why being a solo artist is easy. I don’t need a band name. I can just be Quinn James and I’m good to go, or I could be Quinn, like Prince or Bono, although, both of those men were part of a band.

  Elle sighs and runs her hand through her hair. She’s doing that a lot lately, tugging and pulling on her hair. This band is stressing her out, and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. I know she wants us to be successful, but at what cost? The gig coming up at the Roxy is huge. We’re opening for our dad’s band and that in itself, is monumental. Everyone we know will be there, and while my sisters and I are used to being in the background when they play, this will be different.

  Our no named band is expected to mingle, to visit with the record executives and the media. Elle demands it. She wants us to be personable, and at the ready. I get it. My sister doesn’t want us to be one of those bands that takes years to get off the ground. That’s how much faith she has in us.

  “Distraction,” Ajay blurts out. Elle turns sharply to him.

  “Keep going,” she says. “Because I like that, but that’s not it.” She stands and starts pacing. Her hands are clasped, then they’re in her hair again, and then she’s biting her finger. I’ve never seen her like this. This focused and determined.

  “Envy,” Dana says, but Elle shakes her head.

  “Easy?” Keane asks.

  “No, that’s not it. There’s a word I’m thinking of, but—”

  “Sinful,” Hendrix blurts out. Elle’s head pops up and she narrows in on him. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think my sister just marked her prey.

  “What did you say?” she asks.

  “Sinful. Sinful Distraction,” he says again.

  “Why? What’s your reasoning?” Elle walks toward Hendrix. The rest of us lean closer, waiting to hear what he has to say. He looks scared. I don’t blame him one bit, but my sister is harmless… for the most part.

  Hendrix looks around and from where I’m sitting, I think he’s looking at Dana. “She’s my distraction,” he says, pointing at her. “She’s sinful in ways no one will ever know about.”

  “Until I start dating again.”

  “God, no, woman!” Hendrix hangs his head and covers his ears.

  I look over at Dana. She’s looking at her fingernails and ignoring Hendrix’s antics. He really must be in love with her, after all these years.

  “Sinful Distraction. Sinful Distraction,” Elle continues to say this over and over while she walks around the room. We all watch her, turning on our stools, waiting for the light bulb moment. “I like it.” She nods. “No, I love it. It’s perfect.”

  “Looks like we have a band name,” I say, trying to be helpful. “We’ll need a killer logo.”

  “You’re right. I’ll get the team on it.”

  “We have a team?” I question.

  “Of course. Ben’s great with graphics. He has your website all set up, he’s just waiting for the name. This is perfect. I need to go make some phone calls. You practice. The Roxy is going to eat you alive if you’re not perfect. Sinful Distraction, I love it,” she says as she walks out of the studio.

  Not a second later, the intercom comes on. “You guys ready?” Tyler asks. He doesn’t wait for a response. We get up and take our spots. We have to nail one more song for our demo, which Elle wants to have ready for our gig.

  My dad, along with my uncles and my bandmates are setting up for tonight’s gig. 4225 West is helping Sinful Distraction. I call it more like babysitting or trying to have their hand in our cookie jar. I know they mean well, but I’m subjected to more of my dad and Ajay talking shop than I care to listen to.

  “How are things?” Liam asks.

  “Fine, I guess.”

  “Still okay with your decision?”

  I shrug. I’m not sure that I am. I miss my life, the one I was trying to have. Yes, it was boring, but it was perfect for me. “You didn’t mention how stressful and busy I’d be. I can’t remember the last time I ate.”

  “I remember those days. It’s imp
ortant that you take care of yourself. A healthy body is a healthy mind. You don’t want to cloud it with drugs.”

  “I’m not going to turn to drugs,” I tell my uncle. He and my father have always tried to keep a clean image, but I know there was a time when they faltered early in their career. Liam doesn’t talk about it, but he’s always been on us while growing up, about how messed up we can become once we start. I’m high on life as far as I’m concerned.

  Keane comes over with JD in tow. “Keane, this is Liam Page.”

  “It’s so nice to meet you,” he says, shaking Liam’s hand.

  “You too. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

  “You have?”

  Liam nods. “Elle’s my niece. My band has sort of been guiding her along the way. I hear you have a daughter.”

  “I do, she’s in the back room.”

  “Great, my daughter, she’s a bit older, but she’ll be here in a few minutes with her mom, will keep her company.”

  “Aunt Josie’s coming?” I ask.

  “And my missus and Eden,” JD adds.

  “The whole family, huh?”

  Liam and JD laugh. “Do you honestly think any of them would miss your big debut with a band?” Liam asks.

  “No,” I say, shaking my head. “I know they wouldn’t, I just hoped they would.”

  “Would what?” my dad asks as he joins us. Ajay is standing next to him. I try to ignore the bitterness I’m feeling. Having my dad here is great for the band, and Ajay’s good. He’s really good. I need to get over this. Maybe he and I need to go out and have some beers, shoot some pool and just be bros or something. Anything I can do to not want to rip his head off.

  “Liam was just telling Keane that Betty Paige will be here later, so she can sit with his daughter and I was saying how surprised I am that everyone’s coming.”

  My dad’s hand rests on my shoulder. Somehow, this feels reassuring, as if I needed him to acknowledge me. Truth is, I did. “Your mom wouldn’t miss this for the world, son.”