Black Female

by Kim J. West

  Chapter Forty-Three

  After working steadily for about an hour, and making arrangements to go to New York earlier than I’d anticipated, Lena called me out of my office to eat lunch.

  I headed to the kitchen where delicious aromas of salmon, ginger and honey intermingled from the oven. Lena had cooked again although she knew she didn’t have to. I gave her an appreciative kiss.

  “Babe, I could live like this forever, having you to come home to every night,” I said casually, heading for the wine cooler and choosing a white Pinot Noir to serve with our meal. I noticed her pause from laying out the plates on the kitchen counter; she had to know I meant it.

  I’d just begun pouring Lena a glass of wine when my private elevator dinged, indicating the arrival of someone on my direct access list. Since the drama with Nadine, I’d whittled that list down to my parents, Rosanna the housekeeper, George the concierge, Jackson and Lena. I was almost certain my parents wouldn’t be showing up on a Saturday; they always called first. Puzzled and wondering if it was Jackson coming up again, I headed to the elevator to see who it was.

  Just as I rounded the corner, I watched my mother stepping out of the elevator. My heart stopped as I headed towards her.

  “Darling!” she exclaimed, opening her arms to me.

  “Mother, what a surprise,” I replied, lowering my head to give her a kiss on the cheek.

  “How are you feeling?” I asked, concerned.

  “I feel fine,” she exclaimed. “You and your father worry too much.”

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, wondering how she was out and about in her condition.

  “Don’t be silly, darling,” she replied swatting the air in my direction. “I’m here to see you, of course. I have great news.”

  Last I spoke to her was a few days ago when I discovered she had a brain tumor and now we were waiting for news on the scan results.

  I led her towards the sitting room, but she sniffed the air, scenting the delicious aroma of Lena’s cooking.

  "It smells glorious dear,” she said walking towards the kitchen. “Since when do you cook?"

  I tried to slow her down. The way I knew my mother, I’d need time to break the news to her about Lena. She became hysterical if any women I dated weren’t from her preferred circles.

  "Mother, now is not a good time...” I began, but she cut me off.

  "I'm your mother darling; it's always a good time to check on my son."

  As she rounded the curve ahead of me, she came to a sudden stop, noticing Lena standing in my kitchen. Unexpectedly, she smiled.

  "Oh, Jonathan," she scolded. "I knew you wouldn't be cooking. So you have new cooking staff?"

  Oh hell, no. I had to correct that idea urgently or Lena would have my balls.

  My mother didn't wait for a response from me, addressing Lena directly.

  "Hello there, I'm Mrs. Carter; and you are?"

  Lena glanced at me nervously but she was smiling graciously, then headed confidently towards my mother to shake her hand. I had to step up.

  "Mother, this is Lena Williams, my girlfriend. Lena, this is my mother, Adalie Strauss Carter."

  My mother immediately dropped Lena’s hand as though it had burned her, then looked at me in shock. Her eyes fluttered as though she was struggling to believe what I’d just said, clutching her purse strap for support. In spite of my mother’s awkward reaction, Lena surprised me by responding to her.

  "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Carter," she said nervously, looking from my mother to me.

  My mother’s bottom lip quivered as it did when she was close to losing her temper, then she turned to face me. I watched in shock as she raised her hand and smacked me across the face. I had seen her hand coming and could have avoided it, but I knew it’d have made her more furious. She stormed off angrily and I turned to glance apologetically at Lena, thoroughly embarrassed by my mother’s reaction. Lena’s hands were both covering her mouth; clearly she was in shock at my mother’s behavior. Now I was in shit with the only two women who meant something to me. I followed my mother to try and talk sense into her.

  “Mother,” I called after her, tugging at her arm gently. “Why on earth would you do that? That was totally unnecessary.”

  She rifled in her purse for a tissue and dabbed her eyes.

  “How could you?” she shouted, her bottom lip quivering.

  “Mother, what’s wrong? Why are you behaving like this?” I wondered if perhaps it was the tumor talking. She turned and looked at me squarely.

  “How could you do this to me after what I told you? How could you do this to your father? You’re our only son! This is going to kill your father. You are all he has."

  I knew her tumor diagnosis was troubling her far more than she let on, but as far as I was concerned, I was not trying to hurt them in any way. I’d simply fallen in love, and for her to imply that this would kill my father was a stretch. I argued with her quietly, hoping Lena couldn’t hear this atrocious discussion.

  “No, that’s not true and you know it. You and dad will always have me. And I didn’t do this to spite you.”

  Just then, I spotted Lena coming around the curve while my mother continued to berate me.

  "You’re always on those awful TV shows with too many lovers. This time you have gone too far,” she scolded, dropping a few tears.

  “Mother, stop this now,” I chided gently. “I’ll come to the house tomorrow and we’ll talk then.”

  I saw her glare angrily at Lena as she continued.

  “I’d come to tell you good news that your fiancée, Ashley, the love of your life is back from Texas. She came here to surprise you but she was told you were out of town so she came to stay over at our place for a few days, and this is what I find here?"

  Oh shit. Ashley was back? For what? I thought to myself quietly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lena’s footsteps falter as she listened to my mother’s words. I had not told her about Ashley and this would not be well-received. I was waging an internal battle between whether to keep handling the curve ball my mother had thrown or rushing off to Lena to reassure her. Before I could say another word, she’d stepped around me to focus on Lena who was headed towards her bags.

  “You!” she snapped, wagging her finger rudely at Lena. “Stay away from my son. Do you hear? Now get out and go back to wherever you came from.”

  “Mother, that’s enough,” I snapped more tersely, taking her arm and pulling her firmly away. I watched in horror as Lena began gathering her bags. I took a step towards her to stop her from leaving, only to hear my mother suddenly begin sobbing out loud, distracting my attention.

  I was torn; my mother was upset and had this terrible diagnosis, while Lena was about to leave me. I figured it was best to handle my mother and get her on her way, then talk to Lena who couldn’t leave because she’d need me to help her get home in her new car.

  I went towards my mother and pulled her to my chest, hushing her gently.

  “Mom, please. It’s not necessary for you to cry over this.”

  “I’m afraid I’m going to lose you and you’re making a big mistake,” she sobbed.

  “That’s silly, you are not going to lose me and I’m not making a mistake. Besides, I’m coming over to your place tomorrow and we’ll discuss everything.”

  “You’re coming? You promise? Last time Ashley came over you didn’t show up for days.”

  "I promise, mother. I’ll be there," I said soothingly. I’d deal with the Ashley issue later.

  That was enough for her to dry her tears and try to compose herself. I knew I’d been a little manipulated but I didn’t want to stress about it. She was my mother, she was unwell and there was nothing I could do. I’d have to deal with Ashley once and for all, and explain to my parents about Lena; if they cared about me at all, they’d support me without reservations.

  I led her to the elevator, knowing her chauffeur would be in the basement where he always waited when they came over. So
I didn’t need to escort her down. I had to face Lena.

  As soon as she’d left, I called out to Lena, heading for the living room. As soon as she spotted me, she stood, giving me a blank look. I pulled her into my arms but she pushed me away, picked up her purse and small suitcase and headed towards the elevator. She didn’t look angry or even upset. She had an emotionless expression on her face. This was far worse than the fury I’d expected because if she was angry, we could fight; if she was upset, I could comfort her. But if she was blank like this, then she was done. I ran my hands through my hair frustrated with how to bring her out of this state; I couldn’t let her leave until I’d made her hear me out.

  "Baby, I'm sorry. I don't even know what to say." I tried, as she pressed the call button for the elevator. No answer, no acknowledgement that she’d even heard me. I was losing her.

  "Please, Lena,” I begged, “don’t leave. Stay and let’s fight about it. Hit me; anything. Just don’t go like this," I pleaded, stepping as close to her as I dared. I hoped she’d come into my arms. But she took a step back and silently held up her hand.

  The elevator opened and without a word or a backward glance, she stepped in and left me.

  Chapter Forty-Four

  I leaned my forehead on the side of the elevator, wracking my brains. How was I going to solve this and make things right? My mind replayed the whole episode, from when she surprised me in my office and got lunch ready; all of that making me feel like a king. Then the sudden change to feeling like a total shit after my mother treated her badly. I was fucked.

  As I contemplated my next move, I heard the elevator ding right beside me. My heart jumped; surely she’d come back; even of it was just to ask me to drive her home. I’d think of something on the way over there. I waited for the doors to open; nobody. My attention was drawn to the floor. And there they were, all the gifts I’d given her; the Visa card, the Mercedes key and the canary diamond pendant. She’d returned all her birthday gifts? Who does that? I thought, feeling my anger replacing the shame I felt. I headed into the elevator and rushed to the basement. No sign of Lena. Jackson emerged from the shadows.

  “Jackson, where is Lena?”

  “I saw her head towards the regular elevators, sir,” he replied.

  “Well why the hell didn’t you at least offer her a ride home?” I snapped.

  He shifted uncomfortably on his feet. “I’m sorry sir. Shall I follow her?”

  I sighed deeply and ran my hand through my hair. She’d probably gone to the hotel lobby where cabs were easily available. I knew that by now, she’d probably already left. And now I was taking it out on Jackson; he had nothing to do with this mess.

  “Never mind, Jackson. I’ll handle it.”

  ***

  I headed back upstairs and straight for the liquor cabinet. I poured myself a double and headed for my study. What the actual fuck had just happened? I thought. I knew my mother was anti most women I was associated with except for Ashley, but her behavior had gone beyond anything I’d ever seen before in my life. Whether or not it was the tumor talking, she’d behaved atrociously and I realized now that I hadn’t done enough to deal with it there and then, while Lena was still there. Of course Lena was angry. She’d have felt humiliated and disrespected.

  But as she very well knew, any relationship is bound to face lots of challenges and it was no reason for our relationship to be permanently affected. I didn’t want to think about any possibility that she might have left for good. She loved me, didn’t she? I was willing to fight for her and deal with my parents if only she’d hear me out. Yeah, sure the Ashley thing was another curve ball, but once I explained to her who Ashley was, then it should be a non-issue. She had a past and so did I; but we couldn’t let our former lives affect our future.

  After a few gulps of brandy, I tried calling Lena. The phone rang in unison with a song playing somewhere in my apartment. I headed out of my office to find the source of the music. Had Lena left her cell phone behind? I tried to call her number again, and followed the soulful singing to the kitchen. I vaguely remembered the song from several years ago; ‘Don’t Let Go’ by a girl group I couldn’t recall the name of. She’d left her phone behind, plugged into the charger. Without wasting any time, I ran upstairs to get dressed; I would go to her place on the pretext of returning her phone and work my way in from there.

  I took my Porsche and headed over to Lena’s place. After knocking on her door for some time and ringing her doorbell repeatedly, I wondered if she was in there and just wouldn’t come to the door. I went back downstairs; her car was missing.

  So she’d left; there were many places she could be, but I knew every weekend she went over to spend time with her mom in Rockdale County. Just as I was wondering about that, Lena’s phone began to ring. The caller identity was “Mom”, but I decided not to answer it. If Lena’s mother was calling her, then perhaps she didn’t go there. Well where did she go then? An old boyfriend? Meeting some other man and getting over me? I couldn’t stand the thoughts running through my mind. I’d go back to the penthouse and get Jackson onto this; I wanted her found tonight.

  I called Jackson to accompany me upstairs to discuss how we could find Lena.

  “Well it’s likely she has gone to her mother’s,” he offered.

  “I don’t think so,” I replied, my rationality distracted by the idea of her being comforted somewhere by a loser like Gerry or someone else. “Her mother tried calling her, so she can’t be there.”

  “I’m pretty sure she has gone over there, sir. I have studied her movements for a while now. Shall I find the address and go to the place in Rockdale to find out?”

  I never made a big deal of what Jackson knew; he had my back and made it his business to find out any information that might be necessary to me. I took out Lena’s phone and scrolled to her mother’s missed call. I copied the digits of her mother’s number into my phone and dialed. After a few rings, a voice so similar to Lena’s came over the phone.

  “Hello?” she answered. My heart was skipping stupidly.

  “Hello, Mrs. Williams?”

  “May I help you?”

  “Yes, my name is Jonathan Carter; I work with Lena.”

  “Yes?”

  “She left her phone behind this afternoon and I’m certain she needs it. Do you know where she is or how I can contact her?”

  “Oh of course, she’s staying with me for the night. I’ll let her know as soon as I get home; I’m just finishing my shift now.”

  Good... I’d go find her, right there in her hiding place.

  “Well, perhaps I could drop it off, what’s your address?” I said, grabbing a pen and my notepad. Mrs. Williams gave me her address which I scribbled down quickly.

  “Are you sure it’s not too much trouble?” she asked with concern in her voice. “Lena could always pick it up from you instead.”

  “No ma’am,” I replied quickly. “It would be no trouble at all. I’ll be there around 6?” I asked checking the time on my phone.

  “See you later,” she answered and we ended the call.

  Deep down I knew that this daring plan could go either way. Either Lena would be furious, or she’d realize just how much I was serious about her. I’d also get to meet her mother in person. If she decided to introduce me as her boyfriend, I wasn’t sure how her mother would take it, in light of my mother’s reaction. I was willing to risk whatever unpleasantness was waiting for me over there in Rockdale County; I was doing this for Lena; for us.

  Chapter Forty-Five

  I didn’t have to ask Jackson twice to head over to Mrs. Williams’ residence. He had relatives there and was familiar with the area. After a forty minute ride, I noticed that the houses were a little more humble than Buckhead but that didn’t concern me at all.

  We got to the house that Jackson identified and he parked off street while I walked up the path onto the porch. I knocked on the door and waited. Someone came to the door, fumbled with the locks and op
ened the door.

  The sight that met my eyes nearly took my breath away. Standing before me was a breathtaking woman in her thirties; a replica of Lena. I was momentarily confused; Lena had talked about a cousin so perhaps this was her. She was barefoot, dressed in white leggings and a long, flowing printed shirt, making her look very chic and relaxed. For a moment she looked alarmed, then she shifted on her feet. She was looking at me quizzically, waiting for me to state the reason for my visit. I wondered if perhaps she’d been expecting someone else.

  “Howdy ma’am,” I began, tipping my imaginary hat. “I’m Jonathan Carter, Lena’s co-worker. I have brought her phone over.”

  The stunning lady smiled kindly and opened the door wider.

  “Of course, come on in,” she said politely, ushering me into the neat, tiny home.

  I had a brief look around; though the decor was dated and the furnishings humble, it felt homely and welcoming. I noticed an elderly man sitting on a large single couch directly in front of the television. I greeted him and he simply nodded and carried on watching his show.

  The lady seemed uneasy as she offered me a seat. “Lena has just popped out, but she asked that you leave the phone behind if you are in a hurry?”

  So Lena knew I was coming and had run off? She clearly did not know me.

  “I can wait a while if you don’t mind?” I offered.

  “Of course, you may,” she replied kindly. We were silent for a few awkward seconds while she appeared to be contemplating something. I broke the silence.