Black Female

by Kim J. West

  “So is Mrs. Williams back from work? I’d like to meet her if possible. I’m assuming you are Lena’s cousin?”

  She looked at me strangely for a moment, then burst out laughing. “I’m Mrs. Williams, Lena’s mother.”

  I was taken aback. Lena had made her mother seem like an older lady. This woman was not a day over thirty.

  “Really?” I said disbelievingly. “But you look more like you could be Lena’s sister.” My comment was genuine, I wasn’t trying to flatter her at all.

  “Aw, thank you, Jonathan,” she replied, smiling warmly, with that killer ‘Lena’ smile. “That compliment has just earned you an invitation to dinner, and I’m not taking no for an answer.”

  Perfect; just perfect.

  After my compliment to her, she began to fuss over me, offering me a drink and chatting about everything from the weather to her elderly brother’s Vietnam military career. She bustled in and out of the kitchen from which a delicious aroma was permeating the entire home. My responses to her chatting were polite and short; my thoughts were on the coming meeting with Lena. She’d probably not expect to find me here.

  I surreptitiously sent a message to Jackson to make himself scarce until I called him, then made a quick check of my messages to see if Lena had messaged me. Nothing; of course she didn’t have her phone. I noticed her tablet on the coffee table; perhaps she’d sent an email? As soon as I opened the application, an email from Lena popped up. Nervously, I checked what she’d said;

  “I'll pick up my cell phone at the office on Monday morning. I'm unavailable the rest of this weekend.”

  Okay; clearly my being there was not going to be a welcome surprise when she arrived; but that wasn’t going to stop me. I’d face her; perhaps dinner with her mom would make things better between us and she might even introduce me as her boyfriend.

  I put my phone away and carried on my pleasant chat with her mother, counting down the minutes until Lena came home.

  By the time dinner was served thirty minutes later, Lena still hadn’t arrived. I was beginning to feel my anger rising; where was she? Who was she with? I didn’t want to go psycho on her and have a permanent security detail monitoring her every move, like she was forcing me to do with this behavior. I knew she was hurt with what’d happened, but going out on some wild, promiscuous rampage was not the way to deal with it.

  I dutifully followed Mrs. Williams to the open plan dining room, just steps from the living room area and seated myself on the chair she indicated. She said Grace briefly, then dished a plateful of roast chicken and potatoes for her elderly brother who remained seated in front of the television, then returned to sit opposite me.

  For a brief moment, the mouth-watering food distracted me from my nervousness about Lena’s reaction when she found me there; clearly her mother could cook like a chef; just like her daughter. These women sure knew how to spoil a man.

  I noticed Mrs. Williams was drinking water while she served me with a glass of Sauvignon Blanc, telling me Lena had taught her which wines to choose. She spoke very highly of her daughter; beaming proudly whenever she mentioned her. After the way Lena had described their past and the way they’d bonded once again, I could finally understand why I had to share Lena with her every weekend. At least I could try to control my jealousy now that I knew how much this woman loved her daughter. I had the same bond with my parents despite their faults.

  Thinking back to the way my mother had treated Lena, compared with how her mother was treating me now, made my heart sink. When someone you love does something as awful as my mother did; it’s heartbreaking, because you still love them. It’s hard to reconcile your love for them with the revelation that they have behaved so terribly. I couldn’t reject my mother over this; I had to educate her, be firm with her and hopefully, get her to apologize to Lena in the near future. Hopefully Lena would be magnanimous and accept the apology when it came, then both the women I love would be at peace with each other.

  Just as I was finishing off my first helping of dinner, the front door opened and Lena entered. She looked weary for a moment, then when she saw me, her expression changed to unpleasant confusion. She glanced at us, at her uncle then outside the door, as though scanning the street looking for my car. Good move to have Jackson drive off. For a moment, I thought she’d leave the house again, but she shut the door, and slowly made her way towards us. As she approached the dining room, I stood up politely and she scowled back at me, then gave her mother a withering look.

  "Honey, where have you been?" her mother scolded her. "We had to start dinner without you. I invited Jonathan to stay for dinner, so sit down and join us."

  As I sat back down, I noticed Mrs. Williams seemed oblivious to the tension between Lena and I and continued fussing over us like mothers do; making sure we were eating and checking on her elderly brother. Lena’s glare at her mother showed she wasn’t pleased. Nevertheless, she sat down obediently beside her and poured herself a glass of water. I decided to try getting an indirect conversation going.

  "This is delicious, Mrs. Williams," I said, keeping my gaze on Lena.

  "Oh I didn't cook,” she replied. “It was my Lena. Ain't she a great cook?" Her mother was clearly proud of her, and I could personally attest to her cooking prowess.

  "She certainly is ma'am," I agreed, stealing another glance at her.

  Lena dished a tiny morsel for herself then proceeded to push it around her plate, avoiding my stare. I realized she wasn’t going to introduce me and I felt a twinge of disappointment, but kept my composure. I had high hopes that coming to find her all the way in Rockdale County might make her realize how much I wanted her, but it wasn’t working. I put on a brave face as Mrs. Williams chatted away, while I listened and responded politely.

  After my second helping, I declined another offer of more food.

  “Mrs. Williams, I truly enjoyed the meal, thank you very much for inviting me to dinner,” I said in my most charming Southern drawl. She responded graciously, then I turned my attention to Lena.

  “Lena, this meal was to die for; thank you.”

  She nodded quietly, looking in the opposite direction from me. I had over-played my hand; I felt I’d better make my apologies and leave. I turned my attention back to her mother.

  "Mrs. Williams, I’ll be leaving now, it was a pleasure and an honor to meet you ma'am," I offered, standing up to go.

  "We hope to see you again, Jonathan," my mother responded, looking from me to Lena. I noticed Lena shaking her head as if it would never happen ever again. I felt slightly panicked as I headed to the front door accompanied by her mother, giving a single wave towards her uncle who gave me a nod in response.

  At the front door, I noticed Mrs. Williams giving her daughter the Southern mother’s death stare which I recognized from my own mother. I guessed she’d finally taken notice of Lena’s less than pleasant behavior. That God-given glare was enough to get Lena to get up and come towards us.

  "Thank you for bringing my phone," she said, still refusing to meet my gaze.

  "You're welcome, Lena.” I responded. This was my chance. “Can you walk me outside? Jackson is just around the corner."

  She didn’t answer but stepped outside ahead of me. I turned back to give Mrs. Williams a kiss on the cheek, said my final goodbye then headed down the steps of the porch while Mrs. Williams shut the door behind us.

  Chapter Forty-Six

  I phoned Jackson to come and pick me up, then turned to Lena.

  “You left your birthday gifts behind when you left me earlier,” I began, trying to understand why she’d do something so vindictive and unnecessary.

  She snorted, rolling her eyes. “I’ve changed my mind; I can no longer accept them.”

  I was still upset about the returned gifts, but I knew I had to acknowledge her hurt and anger by beginning with an apology.

  "Lena, I'm sorry about what happened. We have to talk about this." She was looking at me now and I searched her face for
any signs of relenting. Her gaze was blank and non-committal.

  "I'm done talking. There is nothing left to say," she responded firmly.

  “Lena, you can’t break up with me over this. No-one said it would be easy. We have to fight for this. Please, baby.”

  “I can’t fight your family for you, Jonathan.”

  I was adamant that she couldn’t break up with me over something another person had done; she herself had pointed out a number of obstacles that we had to overcome. But now, at the first sign of trouble, she was bailing on me. I faced her so she could see my determination.

  "We’re going to work things out, Lena. You can’t run from me every time we face a challenge."

  “I’m not willing to face a challenge that involves you and your family being ashamed of me.”

  Me being ashamed? She was the one who didn’t want people to know about us; she’s the one who didn’t tell her mother who I was to her. I angrily turned on her.

  “And what about you, Lena?” I snapped. “You’ve not introduced me to your mother as your boyfriend, maybe because you’re ashamed of me. Will you walk with me hand in hand on this street? Proud to show everyone that you’re with me?”

  "How dare you come to do this here?" she snapped back, bristling with rage.

  "Coming here was the only way I could see you after what happened. You came here to hide from me,” I retorted angrily.

  "I have nothing to say to you, Mr. Carter. I don't want anything more to do with you. This whole relationship was a mistake and it should never have happened. I’ll be resigning from the company as soon as I can. Please just leave." Her tone and words ended all further arguments. She was done.

  Just then, the lights of the Tahoe lit the surroundings as Jackson arrived at the house.

  I ran my hand through my hair in frustration contemplating the way forward. Perhaps she needed time; I was sure after a few days she’d come to her senses and hopefully miss me if I gave her some space. Besides, I had work to do back in New York; a great help since I wouldn’t be able to stalk her if I was away working. I turned to her once more with my new plan.

  "There is a crisis in New York, so I’m going back there on Monday and I’ll be back Thursday afternoon. Come to the penthouse, Thursday night at seven. After that I won't bother you again. Please?" I was anxious as I waited for her response. I was determined to get my chance and I wanted her agreement to my suggestion before I left.

  "Fine,” she said, finally. I knew she probably just wanted me to leave, but at least I had something to look forward to and I’d live to die another day.

  "Thank you,” I said not hiding my relief, “I'll call you."

  I gently squeezed her arm and tried to kiss her, but she averted her face and offered her cheek instead. At least I’d tried. I gave her one last look, then headed to the car and left without looking back.

  ***

  Sunday morning, I woke up with a massive hangover. It’d been a long time since I’d gone on a massive bender, consuming copious amounts of alcohol. Last night my ride home with Jackson had been in silence while I replayed all that’d happened, from our beautiful weekend on the island to the bad ending with Lena rejecting me. At least she’d agreed to see me in a few days, but the stress of this had me opening a brand new bottle of Tequila then taking countless shots before passing out on my couch. I could handle business stress because I could be cold and impersonal when dealing with corporate decisions. But I was useless and inexperienced with matters of the heart; who had I ever loved this way?

  Thinking of my past love life reminded me that Ashley was in town. Remembering I’d promised my mother I’d visit, I headed upstairs to my suite and sat on the bench in Lena’s shower while water cascaded over my head. I don’t know how long I was in there, I only stepped out when the water became cold, forcing me to turn it off reluctantly.

  The cold shower and oatmeal afterwards helped enormously. I wondered about Ashley showing up out of the blue to visit and staying at my parents’ house, hoping she wasn’t actually here just for me.

  I finally got to look at my phone at noon, seeing missed calls and several messages from my mother, checking if I was coming to lunch at one o’clock. I sent her a text back, informing her I had work to do and would only make it later in the afternoon. There were no calls from Lena. I switched my phone off to prevent further interruptions and headed to my home office to prepare for my New York trip, calling my staff and lawyers to discuss strategies for the way forward. I worked steadily all afternoon, trying not to think about my mess. I had to compartmentalize it and deal with it all later.

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  By five o’clock I was headed to my parent’s home. I’d be in time for an afternoon drink and perhaps an early evening dinner, make my apologies and leave. I keyed in the code to the electric gate and drove up the driveway, then staff let me into the house.

  They led me to my parents’ favorite patio in the back garden where they were seated enjoying snacks and drinks in the warm afternoon. I walked slowly towards them and stopped briefly when I caught sight of Ashley. She was looking very attractive in a light blue summer dress. She’d always been very slim, spending the majority of her life eating lettuce and working out with two personal trainers. I remembered the few times we’d gone on vacation and I’d beg her to allow herself a few extra calories to enjoy the exotic treats. It’d always be hell for the next few weeks and she’d re-double her efforts to lose the five pounds gained. The sight of even a slight curve would disgust her, leaving her upset and doing hours of cardio until she went back to her preferred weight of 109 pounds.

  As I approached them, my mother stood and came towards me to give me a welcoming hug and a kiss. My father approached me as well while Ashley stood beside my mother. She looked slightly nervous as she waited for my attention. She was indeed a beautiful woman, but I’d lived with her and knew her well. Worst of all, I recalled the day I caught her cheating on me back in Texas; a fact we’d kept from my parents. After greeting my father I turned to her.

  “Hello Ashley.”

  “Hi Jonathan.” Her voice was small and she was twiddling her fingers together nervously. My mother intervened.

  “You two haven’t seen each other in a while, I expected you to rush into each other’s arms.”

  We stood there awkwardly, then I gave her a peck on the cheek before stepping away. My parents stood watching us hopefully for a moment before my mother spoke up again.

  Your father and I will let you two become reacquainted while we go and rest for a while before we get ready for dinner. I watched as they headed off into the mansion, then I pulled out Ashley’s chair for her to sit, pouring myself a glass of homemade lemonade from a large, icy jug on the table.

  “So,” I began glancing at her, “how have you been?”

  “I’ve been good,” she replied, flipping her long, blonde tresses over one shoulder.

  “I’m glad to hear it.”

  “I’m disappointed you haven’t been returning my calls.”

  “I’ve been busy with work. So what are you doing in Atlanta?”And Lena.

  She looked slightly offended. “I came here to see you, Jonathan,” she said with a slight frown. “Your mother thought it would be a good idea for me to pay you a visit; she thinks you miss me.”

  I should have known my mother had orchestrated this.

  I took a sip and set my glass down.

  “See me for what, Ashley? Is something wrong?”

  There was no way she was here to see me about anything to do with our former relationship; that was done with.

  “No, nothing is wrong...” she hesitated for a moment. “I guess… I guess I have been thinking about you; about us.”

  “Ashley, I’m not sure I understand you,” I said reaching for my glass again. “You and I have been over for almost three years.” Then I figured it out. “Is this about the way we ended, when I caught you cheating on me? Do you want closure? Because if it’
s that, then I need you to know I’m doing great and I have long since let that go.”

  She looked down, clearly ashamed. “Jonathan, I never apologized for that and I should begin by saying I’m sorry.”

  “Apology accepted.”

  “No,” she said reaching quickly for my hand. “I’m not only apologizing for the childish way I behaved in trying to make you jealous, I want us to put it behind us as though it never happened.”

  I looked at her for a long moment. She was being sincere and I had to give her the benefit of the doubt. I sighed and placed my other hand on hers.

  “Fine, it’s behind us then. Don’t think about it anymore because I don’t.”

  She looked relieved. “Thank you, Jonathan.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  We had a pleasant discussion about our families and all the events that had been happening since we last saw each other. She told me about her race horses and their family’s ranch back in Texas. I avoided asking her about her love life until she asked me about mine.

  “So I heard you were engaged to some European model, but your mom says it isn’t true.” She’d begun nervously playing with her fingers again as she asked me.

  “Is that why you were calling?”

  “Maybe,” she admitted with a shrug.

  “Isabella is just a really good friend,” I assured her, which made her smile brightly as though she’d just gotten the answer she wanted. I was debating whether or not to tell her about Lena but until I’d resolved my issues with her the following week, I decided to leave it for now. Just then, the household manager appeared.

  “Mr. Carter, Miss Maddock; the dinner reservation is for 7.00pm. Perhaps you would like to get ready?”

  “What dinner reservation?” I asked confused. “Aren’t we having dinner here?”

  “No sir. Mrs. Carter thought everybody might like to dine at the Grey Goose tonight.”