Black Female

by Kim J. West

  “Darling,” she breathed as I stood to give her a hug and a kiss.

  “Mother, you look lovely.”

  She beamed a smile at me and began calling for her staff to arrange refreshments for us. I got her attention.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Marvelous,” she said, leaning back in her seat. “I’m sure your father already told you I’m going in for brain surgery on Monday. After that, everything should be fine.”

  Although I was grateful for her positive thinking, I couldn’t help being concerned. Any surgery would be a big deal and I planned to reschedule everything to be by her side; supporting her and my father through the ordeal. I couldn’t ignore the fact at the back of my mind that we had unfinished business about her tantrum over Lena, but now was not the time to bring this up.

  Tuesday evening, I was together with my father by her bedside when she woke from an induced coma. Her Monday morning surgery had been successful and she’d been place in a coma for a day as part of the recovery process. Although her head was swollen, she was thirsty when she woke and almost immediately began making endless demands; ‘a good sign’, according to the neurosurgeon who performed the operation. As I gave her a drink of water, I thought about the fact that Lena had disconnected her number, trying to make it impossible for me to get hold of her. I had tried to call her that morning to tell her what was going on as a way to re-open communication lines; but was disappointed to find she wasn’t using that number any more.

  That week I focused on the hospital visits, the office and my work outs; my mother wasn’t out of danger yet and I’d only relax once she was well enough to be discharged.

  As the week wore on, she became more and more herself; ordering the nurses around like her personal staff so we were relieved when her doctor discharged her a week after surgery. She still had bed rest for another week then new tests would be conducted. In the meantime, we received good news that her tumor was benign and she wouldn’t require any chemotherapy. In all that time, I tried my best to be the perfect son; going to the house every day after work for hours. We never brought up the elephant in the room although I could see we both sensed it was an issue that needed to be discussed eventually. I guessed she knew Lena wasn’t in town anymore; my parents had their own security who acted like the CIA and occasionally clashed with my security.

  By the third week, my mother’s recovery was on track and she was moving about and being her normal self. Her swelling had gone back to normal and the patch of hair that’d been shaved was regrowing. That Tuesday, she got her results back from the doctor which showed no signs of regrowth. We had a celebratory dinner that night as a family, then made plans to go to our Christmas tree farm in Lee County about 200 miles south of Atlanta for a long weekend.

  Knowing my mother was doing well, got my thoughts back on Lena. Surely I had given her enough time? I missed her terribly and wanted her back as soon as possible. By force of will, I hadn’t given Jackson the order to find her yet; I didn’t want to rush to contact her without an approach plan. Coincidentally, Baker, who I hadn’t discussed Lena with since she left, came to my office Wednesday mid-morning, knocking timidly before I gestured for him to enter. He’d been a lot more reserved since my revelation that him and Janice were sleeping with each other.

  “Yes, Baker; what’s up?” I asked, looking up from my laptop.

  “Just a quick question,” he began cautiously. “We’ve had a call from an employment agency in Los Angeles, California, asking us to verify Miss. Williams’ reference.”

  My heart stilled, but I maintained a cool demeanor. I wanted to ask which agency, but didn’t want him to know just how much Lena and I had broken apart if I showed I didn’t know anything about this. I knew office gossip had done the rounds after her sudden departure, but I was too focused on handling my mother’s recovery to care.

  “Miss. Williams was an excellent employee, I don’t see a reason why we can’t give her a brilliant reference,” I replied coolly.

  Baker paused for a moment, seemingly surprised.

  “Anything else?” I asked raising my eyebrow at him.

  “Well, it’s just that… she left abruptly—“

  “Baker,” I interrupted. “I fully expect you to give nothing but a stellar reference for Lena. You know very well that her abrupt departure was personal and I’m probably to blame. I don’t want her career suffering due to me or any staff member at Strauss Carter. Okay?”

  “Yes,” he replied looking quite shaken from my admission.

  “Good.”

  After he’d left, I called Jackson to my office who arrived promptly.

  “I want Lena found,” I said, surprised to see a little smile dancing at the corners of his lips.

  “What’s funny?”

  “I thought you’d never ask, sir. I already have her address and phone number in LA.”

  “Oh,” I exclaimed, not particularly surprised that Jackson had already thought ahead. “She’s also looking for a job and we’ve received some calls requesting references. Do you know the agency?”

  “I can find out sir.”

  “When you do, set up a shelf company and offer her a job through this agency, using the address of my condo in LA.”

  “Yes, sir,” he answered dutifully, as if I wasn’t asking him to do something totally psychotic.

  “I don’t want our subsidiaries in LA to be involved. You know this is personal.”

  “You don’t have to say it sir; consider it done.”

  Chapter Fifty-One

  With our plan to head out to the farm on Friday morning with my parents, I knew it’d be the perfect time to discuss Lena with them. My mother was back to her usual self, the prognosis was good and my father was less stressed. So talking to them about Lena was going to happen. They had to realize they didn’t have to match-make me with their choices of women like Ashley.

  Friday morning we were headed south in my Merc, with my parents’ security detail following behind since I’d sent Jackson to California to make arrangements for me to see Lena. A couple of household staff from the mansion had already gone ahead the day before, to prepare everything for our arrival. Whenever I went down to the farm, I preferred to be alone and doing everything myself, but my mother wouldn’t have it any other way; being attended to was what she was accustomed to from childhood.

  The drive as always was scenic, filled with the dense vegetation of the State of Georgia and several small towns that we passed on our way. We drove mostly in silence, each of us wrapped up in our own thoughts. It was a comfortable silence, but with a touch of anxiety for me, because of the talk I was planning to have that night with them. I wanted the issue resolved before the weekend was out.

  By noon, we were driving up to the family cottage about nine miles from the main highway. It was a large, three bedroomed cottage built entirely with logs from the property. While the outside was rustic, the inside was luxurious due to my mother’s input and had all the amenities available. Running water was pumped and filtered from a lake on the property and our staff brought in drinking water. We’d given in and installed electricity after a few attempts with solar power hadn’t worked too well. Several secluded cottages on the property were available for staff or guests.

  Pinewoods was originally a plantation that’d been converted into a Christmas tree farm in the 1930’s. The trees were supplied all across the south east and in the past, a tree or two from this plantation had graced the gardens of the White House. Though it was profitable making a few million a year, we were not in the business to make money. My grandfather had bought the land as an investment. My father had since stocked the land with a few deer and other native species, and we had heard from our farm staff that a couple of bobcats and a black bear had been occasionally spotted on the property.

  After we had a cold lunch, I took off for a hike around the property while my mother settled in, and my father spoke to the farm staff; looking at various things being worked
on.

  Hunting was not my thing, but I always went for my hike at the farm with a hunting rifle in case of emergency, if I happened upon a bear or other predator. I remembered coming here as a child and saving so many injured or orphaned animals; the local department of wildlife and natural resources staff, knew me by name back then. I’d saved skunks, birds, squirrels and even tamed a coyote pup. As I walked through the pine forest squeezing between saplings, I wondered if Lena might like the place. Perhaps I could look around for a nice camping spot in a natural clearing and bring her down someday. I was sure she’d like sleeping in a tent with me out here one day; or perhaps go out with a professional tracker to see if we could spot the mythical bear; what’s not to like?

  Later that evening, after my two hour hike and a hot shower, we had dinner in the kitchen with my parents talking about developments and needs at the farm. As the conversation wore itself out, I knew now was the time to have our discussion.

  “I need to talk to you two,” I began, feeling the tension already creeping into my voice. My father was calm and expectant and I saw my mother nervously fiddling with her mug of hot chocolate. I continued.

  “Dad, we never got the chance to discuss this further, but I’m sure you recall that mom met my girlfriend Lena at the penthouse.”

  I saw my parents glance at each other; they’d definitely discussed it. My mother answered for him.

  “Darling, I thought that was over with; didn’t you break up with her?”

  “Well, yes and no,” I began to explain. “She broke up with me and left town, but I fully expect to get her back and I’m working on it.”

  “Darling,” she said anxiously. “Just leave that young girl alone. She can’t fit in with your life. It’s very cruel of you to be selfish and not think of what’s best for her. She deserves to be with someone more suitable for her.”

  “Nice try, Mother.”

  “I mean it; being different backgrounds and cultures will make things unpleasant for you both in the long run.”

  “I am in love with her.”

  “You’ve been in love before; with your first love Ashley and—“

  “Not like this,” I said firmly. “I’m still upset that you treated her so badly.”

  “Darling, Ashley needs you; like I needed your father. She can’t manage all those business decisions she will have to make when she inherits her father’s wealth. And you need the right kind of woman to be by your side. Her mother and I spoke about this. Think of your children together and how your combined assets will be a great legacy for them.”

  I let out a short laugh. My mother had thought too far ahead.

  “I can’t believe I’m hearing this. My future children certainly don’t need Ashley as a mother or Maddock money. That’s totally ridiculous.” I added scornfully.

  My father interrupted. “Listen, son. I think your mother wants what’s best for you and we both want you to be happy.”

  “If you want me to be happy then you need to stop interfering in my love life and accept my choice,” I replied tersely.

  “Your father and I sacrificed for you to have the life you have now,” my mother snapped. “And now you’re going against what this family stands for.”

  My father tried to calm her down. “Adalie, just give him time; and please calm down.”

  My mother stood. “This is becoming a most unpleasant weekend,” she declared, her voice shaky. “I’m still recovering from my illness and I think I’ll go to bed.”

  With that, she walked out, leaving me in an awkward silence with my father. After a long pause, he stood up then spoke.

  “Son, I understand how you feel, but you have to think about more than your feelings and think of everything as a whole.”

  “Dad, I don’t think you have any idea what I feel about this girl.”

  “Actually, I do, son. Don’t see your old man as some ignorant, old fool.” I noticed the twinkle of humor in his eye as he said this.

  “Look, why don’t we go fishing down to the lake early tomorrow and talk about this man to man, huh?” he offered, finishing the contents of his coffee mug.

  I nodded my agreement and after we wished each other a good night, he followed my mother to their suite. After he was gone, I stepped out onto the porch with another steaming mug of coffee and inhaled the night breeze that smelt of pine needles and fresh air. Everything was quiet, except for the natural sounds of night birds and frogs croaking in the distance. I heard a distant howl, knowing it was probably a coyote somewhere on the property. No sounds of city traffic or high beam lighting disturbing my star-lit sky. It’d have been perfect, if Lena was beside me enjoying this evening with me.

  Chapter Fifty-Two

  The next morning, began uncharacteristically cool, with a slight mist descending over the cottage. I couldn’t see beyond the tree line, but I knew my father would be ready with all our fishing supplies to head out to the lake a mile away. By the time I went to the front porch, he was already out there with all our gear and a flask of coffee prepared for a couple of hours fishing, before we headed back in time for breakfast.

  We’d installed a fishing pier over the right side of the lake so we could fish in deeper water without needing a boat. Last summer, we’d also populated the lake with some bass and trout which were ready for harvesting. Jumping into the open jeep that was parked at the farm, I drove carefully down the misty, dirt road to the lake. We headed for the pier and cast our rods while sipping our coffee, hoping not to catch any frogs like last time we were there.

  I’d been anxious to talk to my father since last night and was relieved when he finally turned to me.

  “When you were a little boy, do you remember how many injured animals you would rescue and nurse back to health?”

  I nodded.

  “I remember how you would never give up on them. Even when the vet said nothing could be done, you would fight on and nurse them back to full health. There was that squirrel that had been bitten by a wolf and lost a whole limb but you refused to let it die and fought for it to live.”

  I listened as he went on.

  “Son, way before your mother found out about your companion, I’ve been aware that you were seeing this young lady for some time now and I know she has created some friction in your life.”

  I looked at him a little unsettled. “What are you saying, dad? You’ve been spying on me?”

  “I’ve been looking out for you son, because I want what’s best for you. I hoped you’d get through this… phase and it would be done with. But now, I see you are struggling to let go and I want to help you and give you advice as your father. It’s your character; to want to heal the broken, the injured and the insecure, like you did for those animals.”

  “She’s not an animal, dad.”

  “I didn’t say she was. Look at how you have cared for that sad Russian girl, Isabella.”

  “She’s Czech.”

  “My point is son, lately you are drawing people into your life who are not going to make life better for you. You are being drawn to difficult women, and a man of your standing has a corporation to run and cannot be dealing with an unstable personal life. It’s a hard decision, but it has to be made.”

  “Dad, if only you knew what she has done for me.”

  “You need someone stable like Ashley, son.”

  “I don’t want Ashley anywhere near me,” I snapped. “Lena is real. She’s loving, she doesn’t care about my money. I admit she’s insecure sometimes and we’ve had big fights but I feel alive when I’m with her.”

  “Relationships founded on drama wear themselves out eventually.”

  “I don’t think I can ever make you understand.”

  I turned and walked away from him, annoyed that he wasn’t getting it.

  “I was in love once,” he called out, pulling off his fishing vest and placing it on the camping chair.

  I paused mid-stride; he had my attention. He continued.

  “When I was in
my late twenties, the year after graduating with my masters; I met a girl. She was a colored girl.”

  I turned back to face him, shocked at this unexpected revelation. “You mean she was African American?”

  He nodded. “Here in the south, we still called them coloreds those days; in the mid eighties.”

  I slowly walked back towards him; I really wanted to hear this story.

  “She was a lounge singer and we met when I went down to a jazz bar with a black friend I’d met in college and invited home for the summer. The first time I saw her singing on that stage, I knew she had me; hook, line and sinker. I remember it like it was yesterday; she sang ‘I Put a Spell on You’. She looked right at me as she sang that song and I knew I had to have her.”

  I shifted uneasily, not sure how to take this confession from my father. He’d never talked about any intimate relationships he’d had; the only woman he’d ever talked about being in love with, was my mother. I listened as he went on with an air of nostalgia while he periodically checked his rods.

  “She had the big hair and the bad attitude. After she finished her performance that first night, I begged the back stage security to let me meet her. She rudely dismissed me, treated me like I was nothing. She said something unrepeatable about how I was just another white man after a black woman for... you know.” He looked embarrassed but I could deduce the unspoken and nodded.

  “I’d just gotten a new Cadillac as a graduation gift and thought I’d wait until the night was over and impress her with that. She came out with an air of superiority and I stood like a fool in the parking lot waiting for her and she dismissed me again. I’d always been able to impress girls easily, but not her. She was waiting for a cab and when it didn’t show up, she finally agreed to let me take her home. We had a year long relationship filled with terrible fights and emotional reconciliations. She was uncontrollable. Her idea of a good breakfast was champagne in bed so you can imagine how it was between us.”