Black Female

by Kim J. West

  Oh shit. I felt heat flooding my face, embarrassed to be privy to this unknown side of my father.

  “I could positively admit that I was in love with her,” he continued. “She was only nineteen when I met her, but by then she was already too wild for me to handle.”

  He stared out over the lake wistfully. “Her method of solving problems was to abandon ship, leaving me shipwrecked because of her endless insecurities.”

  I became still at this revelation; the similarity to Lena’s behavior was unmistakable; shipwrecked is exactly what I felt since she left me, and leaving was how she solved problems. He continued as he turned his attention back to me.

  “She would make me depend on her and need her, then withdraw herself from me; depriving me of her love and attention. I was addicted to her.”

  He came closer to me, making sure I was listening.

  “Son, these type of women make you feel like a man; they challenge you like nobody else would dare to. They rubbish your wealth and position and you realize that none of that matters to them. All you want to do is impress them with the little you have to offer, but it’s never enough. They always find a reason to crush you. So I’ve been there with a black female and know what it’s like to be addicted in this way.”

  I shook my head. “Dad, you say that as though all black women are the same; they’re not. Don’t judge Lena by your own experience when you haven’t met her.”

  “I don’t have to meet her, son. I just have to look at you.”

  I was silenced by his profound statement. He continued.

  “You haven’t been yourself in weeks. Abandoning crucial meetings just to fly back to see her, creating a rift with Baker who’s just like family. You’re unhappy son.”

  “Lena and I were resolving our issues during that period. We had our battles, but we were working things out and most of our differences were my fault.”

  “Son, you’ve taken on some very difficult projects and turned them around and made them profitable. You’ve overseen a number of mergers and acquisitions that will constantly require your management and leadership. A man in your position should only be fighting battles in his work, not in his personal life.” He paused thoughtfully as though remembering something unpleasant, then continued.

  “When your grandfather told me to give her up or he’d disinherit me, I didn’t speak to him for a year. I thank my father every day for putting his foot down.”

  “So you ended it with her because grandpa ordered you to?” I was incredulous.

  “Yes I did and you know what she did when I broke it off with her? She tried to stab me with scissors then slit her wrists in front of me. I was distraught over her. She had dragged me to hell and left me there. Even to this day I still feel something for her.”

  It was all rather unsettling to hear.

  “What happened to her?” I asked.

  “After her suicide attempt, I rushed her to the hospital, then my father sent his handlers to manage her and sent me out of state for a few months. When I came back, I visited some of the places that she used to sing and was told she’d been turning up drunk to several rehearsals and they couldn’t work with her anymore; so she got fired and had since left town. I’ve never heard from her again.”

  “What was her name?”

  “Her name was Simmons; Gina Simmons.”

  “So she never tried to contact you?”

  “I was using my mother’s maiden name back then just to piss off grandpa, so she knew me as Jimmy Barrett, and would never have linked James Carter with the Jimmy she knew,” he ended wistfully with a tinge of regret.

  “Do you ever wonder what happened to her?”

  “Of course I do. But after a few years married to your mother, I realized that it was the best decision I ever made. She brought with her the stability I needed and I’d never have become what I am today if it wasn’t for her.” He didn’t sound as convincing as his words.

  As we packed up and headed back to Atlanta Sunday afternoon, I knew there was nothing I could say to make my parents understand my feelings for Lena. My mother had a totally negative opinion and my father had stereotypical ideas from his own experiences. In the coming weeks, I’d have to make some difficult choices regarding their opinions. I wasn’t giving up Lena for anyone; not even for them.

  Chapter Fifty-Three

  The following week I powered through work, working until midnight almost every day to clear my desk. The next week I planned to be in California, reconciling with Lena. I’d thought long and hard and concluded that I couldn’t live without her. I wanted to marry her. The realization had hit me hard in the middle of another lonely night when I couldn’t sleep. I wanted her in my life permanently and I would make her mine.

  A sales associate from Cartier had come to my penthouse with a selection of engagement rings but none of them matched what I wanted to give her. I didn’t want a traditional diamond ring. I looked through the selection and described to him what I had imagined.

  “The price of the ring you are describing will be around fifty thousand,” he coaxed, urging me towards the six figure choices.

  “It's not about the price for this one,” I explained to him. “It's about her. I can’t put a price to her and I want something sentimental and meaningful. After selecting the design I wanted, I set about making arrangements to be away the following week.

  I tied in a long overdue visit to our LA operations into my trip to see Lena. That way, I’d have something to keep me distracted while I waited for her to come to me.

  Through Jackson’s ingenious set up, I’d manage to secure an interview with Lena in my California condo. It was in the commercial district of Beverly Hills and I knew Lena’s home wasn’t too far away.

  After my arrival in Los Angeles, I’d spent a full day in back to back business meetings, but my planned meeting with Lena was for the following day late afternoon at 4.00pm. On the day of my meeting, the first half of the day was spent working in my home office in the condo, catching up on emails and calls from Atlanta, to make sure my time later with Lena would be uninterrupted. It had been six weeks since I last saw or spoke to her. I wondered what had changed about her. Had she even thought about me? Perhaps she’d even moved on. The thought was unsettling. Regardless of whatever was going on in her life, I was prepared to take my chances with her; to try and win her back. My plan was to dispense with all her obstacles and tell her the truth about everything she wanted to know. I would convince her I’m the best man for her, then seal the deal with a proposal; asking her to marry me. Proposing to her in this apartment wasn’t the most ideal or imaginative way, but I was impatient; there’d be plenty of future opportunities to plan more elaborate and romantic gestures once she was my wife.

  My final meeting with my parents over Lena had not ended well. I’d told them I was seriously thinking of leaving Strauss Carter if they couldn’t support my choice and this had left them terribly upset.

  ***

  Later that afternoon, I was pacing in my 12th floor condo, awaiting Lena’s arrival. She’d confirmed that she was attending the fake interview I’d asked Jackson to arrange in my condo. I momentarily worried that she might know the building well, being one of the tallest buildings in Beverly Hills, but I’d never told her I had an apartment in California and she’d likely never think I’d do something like this. I was aware of the sleaze factor of arranging this, but I was confident it’d all be forgotten about once I convinced her she couldn’t live without me, like I couldn’t live without her. I ignored the fact that she’d deliberately changed her number to avoid me; I told myself that this was because she was hurt by my mother’s insults and the false stories that circulated about Ashley; issues that had nothing to do with what we felt for each other.

  At 4.00pm sharp, I heard a firm knock on the front door. The door was unlocked and I waited out of sight for Lena to enter the condo, with my heart beating erratically. This could go either way.

  “Hello!”
she called out politely as she entered the open plan area. I stepped forward approaching her from behind.

  “Hi, Lena.”

  Chapter Fifty-Four

  I watched her remain still for an awful moment, then she spun around quickly to face me. She was dressed attractively in a light grey pencil skirt and matching jacket, and a white blouse fastened with countless tiny buttons. She was clutching a slim brief case in her right hand and on her feet were sky high blood red heels. She looked a little slimmer than I remembered, but she still had those stunning Lena curves she’d said she could never get rid of. For a split second I let my mind wonder what it’d be like having her legs around my neck in those heels. Her alarm brought me back to reality.

  "Jonathan! What's going on? I'm here for an interview. Why are you here?" she said looking confused.

  "This is my condo, Lena. I called you here," I replied cautiously, walking towards her.

  “So you are conducting the interview?” she asked disbelievingly. I decided the truth was best.

  “I needed to see you, Lena.”

  I watched her process my response and calculating what to make of it.

  “How did you find me?” she demanded.

  “I have my ways.”

  “Why didn’t you call first?”

  Because it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than ask for permission.

  “Because you changed your number, Lena. Once I’d found your new one, I didn’t want to call you from all the way across the country and have you hang up on me before you’d heard what I had to say. This was the only way I could think of to see you.”

  "I just can't believe this," she snapped, heading towards the front door at a brisk pace.

  Shit; she was leaving. Lightning quick, I pursued her and caught her around the waist just as she opened the door. Her briefcase fell to the floor as she struggled out of my embrace. I shut the door firmly while I held onto her.

  "Let go, Jonathan," she screamed, fighting back the tears.

  "Never. I can't let you leave until you hear me out."

  “You lied to me. You’re engaged. Let go right now!" she cried, trying frantically to pry my kung-fu grip from her waist scratching me with her nails. I held her more firmly and began to trail kisses along her ear and neck; pleading with her to stay.

  "I’m not engaged to anybody, Lena,” I said gently. “Please, baby. Don't do this. I came all this way, just give me a chance.” She still clawed frantically at my hands and I knew I had one last card to play; the King of Hearts.

  “I love you." My voice was barely above a whisper. Those three magic words; with Ashley I had said it, but never felt it. With Lena I had felt it, but never said it. If there was nothing else I said to her today, at least she now knew how I felt. I had laid my soul bare with this confession and it felt good to say it. Instantly, she stopped fighting me. She’d heard me. I pressed the advantage.

  "I’m in love with you, Lena. Please stay and hear me out. Just to talk; nothing else."

  “Are you sure you’re not with Ashley?” she asked with trepidation, tears still glistening in her eyes. “I can’t even talk to you if you belong to someone else.”

  “I’m not with her; I wouldn’t be here if I was. Please; just hear what I have to say.” I was adamant in my response. She had to see that I was determined to make her listen to my side.

  As I looked into her moist eyes, watching her contemplating my words, I could already sense the familiar, unmistakable attraction arcing between us. She was trying to fight it, but she couldn’t resist me and I was confident she wouldn’t spurn me if I made a move on her.

  Cautiously, I lowered my lips to hers and gave her a gentle, exploratory kiss, then wiped a stray tear from her cheek with my thumb. I gauged her reaction; she wanted it. I kissed her again; more boldly this time and twirled my tongue with hers, nibbling her juicy, plump, bottom lip like a forbidden fruit. She moaned into my kiss and I knew this is where we would have been six weeks ago if she hadn’t stood me up. The memory of all I’d planned for her that night had me reaching for the single button on her jacket with one hand while maintaining a hold around her waist. A part of me worried she might still bolt and I wasn’t taking any chances. I watched her carefully and when she took a deep breath and shrugged out of her jacket, I knew I was in there.

  Six weeks without sex must have been some kind of record for me and had left me a hair trigger short of desperate. Impatiently, I fumbled with the countless buttons on her blouse for a few seconds before giving up and just ripping it open. Lena gasped as the tiny buttons scattered across the floor.

  My focus was on her heaving chest and the lacy bra cupping her delicious breasts. I quickly unzipped her skirt and helped her step out of it, then Lena surprised me by reaching for my white T-shirt and pulling it over my head. I consciously tense my body and abs, knowing I was rocking the sculpted look; I’d worked out intensively lately, knowing this moment was coming. Her eyes roamed over my torso with evident desire, while I looked her over, impatient to strip her out of the sexy white lingerie she was wearing. I pulled her into my arms for a kiss, touching her, feeling her, squeezing her. I was nervous as my hands explored her body.

  Had she let any other man touch her like this? I wondered as my hands stroked her round ample butt with both my hands. Without warning, I placed one arm behind her knees and the other behind her back and picked her up like she weighed nothing. She placed her arms securely around my neck as I carried her through the condo, headed for my bedroom.

  After I laid her on the bed, she watched me nervously while I quickly stripped all her underwear off her body, leaving her naked, except for the red heels. I stood back to admire the view of my beautiful Lena laying there, waiting for me to make love to her.

  “You are so beautiful,” I whispered as she bit her lip, watching my every move.

  Keep those heels on," I commanded as I stripped off my shoes and jeans, instantly freeing my painfully hard cock. I came over her, straddling her on the bed.

  "Did you miss this, baby?" I asked her, unashamedly displaying and stroking my dick in front of her.

  "Yes," she answered, her voice filled with need and desire as she watched me pleasuring myself. I lay beside her on the bed facing up and pulled her to me. It had been too long; I didn’t have patience for finesse.

  "Come baby, sit on my face and suck me off," I demanded.

  She obeyed my request immediately, carefully straddling my face, placing her knees on either side of my head. The minute I saw her sex, already glistening with arousal, I couldn’t wait. Forcefully, I gripped her hips and leaned up, pulling her sex onto my lips, tunneling a warm, moist tongue through her slit. The sudden onslaught had Lena crying out her enjoyment, while I worked her with my tongue; frenzied and impatient. With the tip of my tongue, I fluttered over her swollen clit and my lips tugged at her pussy lips with unrelenting focus.

  "Baby, I've been dreaming about this large clit for weeks. You’ve denied me for so long," I gasped, wondering how I'd survived all this time without this. My appetite for her was voracious; I was hungry and thirsty for her and when she tried to shift to control my ferocity, my grip on her hips tightened and I increased the intensity; I knew I had to eventually bring my need for her under control. I sensed her glancing down at me as her breaths came in sharp pants, trying to contain the experience.

  "Please, Jonathan don't stop," she begged.

  I had no plans to stop as I pushed her head down to my thick cock, craving the feel of her lips engulfing it.

  The first thing I felt was her tongue, lapping the tip of my throbbing cock. I thrust into her mouth and felt her hands gripping my cock securely while she began to lick and suck eagerly, her groans and moans vibrating along my shaft. The incredible sensation had me pausing as I tried hard to contain my arousal for a few moments. I resumed my assault on her sex, spreading her thighs wider and tongue-fucking her more deeply, reaching my tongue back to tease the sensitive area between her sex and as
s, then back to her clit, rolling it and circling it.

  Lena gently twisted her tongue into the tip of my throbbing shaft, quickly lapping the pre-cum that oozed. Then without warning, she engulfed my dick with her mouth so deep into her throat, I could feel her swallowing around its head.

  With that incredible sensation, I couldn’t hold back any longer; my cock thickened and swelled then the electric jolt traveling from my core had me spurting hard and repeatedly into her mouth, while I thrust my hips upwards without volition.

  She took it all as I continued eating at her, groaning hard from my orgasm. She sat up directly on my face and rocked her hips, riding my flattened tongue and guiding herself exactly where she wanted it, giving little squeals of delight. I’ve never seen hips move so sinfully like that; so fluidly mind blowing.

  When I could sense she was close to coming, I grabbed a hold of her ass and put constant, gentle suction on her clit. Within seconds she was jolting hard as she came spectacularly, crying out loud. I didn’t stop until she stopped moving and collapse beside me, panting breathlessly.

  I’d been dreaming of making love to her for weeks and I was only just getting started.

  Chapter Fifty-Five

  "I'm not finished," I said to her, helping her get up from the bed. She was a little unsteady in those heels but I wanted them on for my pleasure. I pulled the comforter off the bed and threw it on the floor.

  "On your hands and knees," I commanded, pointing to the comforter. I wanted to fuck her hard on a firm surface; to make her feel everything I had to give her. She quickly complied, crawling onto the floor on her hands and knees, with her magnificent ass sticking up, while resting her elbows on the floor. I stood for a moment to take in this delicious sight.