The Honorable Barbarian

by L. Sprague De Camp

  "What's that?" Kerin asked, pointing.

  The guard shrugged. "The Balimpawang calls it his transporter. With it he once transported my pet mongoose to a place outside the city; frightened the poor creature half to death." The guard paused. "Be it true, Master Kerin, that ye come from the mysterious West?"

  "I suppose so," said Kerin, "though it seems not so mysterious to me. But then, any land seems mysterious until one becomes used to it."

  "Hm! I never thought of it that way. I have read of the West in books." The guard stuck out his chest proudly. "I can read, which few amongst persons of my class can do!"

  "Congratulations! One cannot have too many skills to get through life."

  Back in the chamber of audience, Kerin still found Klung in his trance. After another tedious wait, the magician shook himself and opened his eyes. For a time he breathed in deep gasps, as if he had been running. At last he spoke:

  "I found your princess, Master Kerin; albeit it took a mort of searching."

  "Where is she?"

  "She is a prisoner in the Temple of Bautong."

  "But how—" began Kerin. His voice commenced to rise with excitement until he controlled it.

  "Her uncle hath sold her to Pwana, who means to use her in some rite involving human sacrifice."

  "Why in the name of all the gods should he do that?"

  Klung spread his plump hands. "It took a deal of nosing about and eavesdropping, in Vunambai's palace and again at the temple, to piece the tale together. When Vunambai heard her story, he became convinced that she was no more a virgin, which with brides of her class is a weighty matter. Even if she were, her betrothed would never believe it, what of her having been a captive of pirates and having dwelt unescorted with you on the voyage hither. When he asked her, she foolishly told of the gang rape. That young woman is too honest for her own good, meseems."

  "Did he ask the young man's intentions?"

  "I know not. In view of their class, I am sure the youth would have renounced the bargain, citing damaged goods. It is not as if she were a wench of low degree, amongst which class the questions of lineage and pedigree are of lesser moment."

  "It seems to me that Nogiri has done nought amiss, save perhaps to go on that picnic. Be that the Salimorese idea of justice?"

  "Nay; but lords do as they list. When a young lord reach his majority, his sire gives him a fancy kris, bedight with jewels, the wearing of which by one of lower class would earn the wearer a hundred stripes. Then the youngling sallies forth and often tries his edge, with impunity, on the first wight of lower class he encounter.

  "Furthermore, of all that crew, Vunambai is the most punctilious in matters of rank and procedure. Had he admitted you and ye failed to offer the full obeisance, belike he would have commanded off with your head."

  "Perhaps it's well I saw him not," mused Kerin. "Methinks I must essay to rescue this princess. Where in the temple is she immured? In an underground crypt?"

  "Nay; in a locked room at the top of the tower. But what ye propose is impossible, young man. The tower is lofty, the temple well-guarded. Ye have done your duty in fetching her to Kwatna."

  "I still feel responsible for her, and she's a friend."

  "But ye will accomplish nought, save belike to be thrown to the crocodiles the Sophi keeps in the moat around his palace!"

  "Still, I should be ashamed of myself if I didn't try at least. I was brought up not to abandon a comrade."

  Klung shrugged. "Well, I know not how to rede you. I regret the young woman's death; but it is not my affair, and I should mislike to see a likely youth like you come to untimely cease in a foredoomed adventure."

  Kerin persisted: "What's this deadly spell that Pwana concocts?"

  Klung smiled slyly. "All I know is what rumor doth waft about or is garnered by my familiars. The burden of these bruits is that our noble Sophi—may his virility never flag—finds that selfsame virility not up to the tasks he demand thereof.''

  "Keeps he a harem?""Aye; and that is the trouble. Since his recent accession—ye will note I use not the word 'usurpation,' the breathing of which hath cost more than one subject his life—he hath become the foremost ruler in the archipelago, largely by espousing the female kin of all the lesser rulers. Hence he now rejoices—if that be the word I seek—in a harem of one thousand, two hundred and forty-six wives, at least at last count. Now, a thousand wives may gratify the vanity of a potentate, but where wilt find a potentate who can gratify a thousand wives?" Klung suppressed a snort of laughter. "They say some women have sent out smuggled messages to their royal kin, complaining that Vurkai never performs his husbandly duties with them. Enough of this, and he will find the throne a-rock beneath his royal arse. So Pwana hath undertaken to stiffen the royal—ah—sinews by this goetic operation."

  The wizard looked sharply at Kerin. "Another matter, howsomever, doth concern me. Said ye not ye were on your way to Kuromon?"

  "Aye, sir."

  "How would ye like to make the journey in the wink of an eye instead of a hazardous fortnightly voyage?"

  "What's this, some magical transport?"

  "Aye." Klung lurched to his feet. "Come hither, lad."

  The wizard led the way to the oratory and pointed to the cage. "Behold my magical triumph! It shall redound to mine eternal fame in magical science; it is the unsurpassed advance of the century.''

  "How does it work?" asked Kerin.

  "I place the subject therein, close the door, and perform certain incantations, fumigations, and passes, and presto! The wight is translated to his destination with the speed of light, whatever that be. As ye doubtless ken, philosophers dispute about whither the passage of light be instantaneous or whether it occupy an interval, however brief, of time."

  "But how—"

  "I employ that which none of my predecessors hath succeeded in doing, namely: to harness the entities of the Fourth Plane. These beings are not exactly spirits, albeit sentient non-material organisms. They are not very intelligent; nor can they manifest themselves on the Prime Plane as doth your little familiar. But I have found how to make them seize the creature within the cage and move it instanter to the destination I have chosen, via the Fourth Plane, which permits them to remove it from the cage despite the bars."

  "Does it work?"

  "Doth it work! My boy, I have sent a mouse hence out into the courtyard, and then a mongoose half a league away, to the beach to northward of the city.''

  "How know you the beast arrived safely?"

  "I had stationed Wejo—" Klung nodded towards the guard, "—there on the beach. When the mongoose appeared, it galloped up to its master to be petted and fetched home. Now, could I but send you to Kuromon, my triumph at the forthcoming vote for balimpawang were assured. Thus shall I receive the honor that be rightfully mine!"

  Kerin looked doubtful. "Dost mean it would send me and all my gear—clothes, weapons, money, and so forth?"

  Klung frowned. "A few trifling adjustments are needed ere it will send inanimate objects. Attempts to transport things like a bowl or a knife have not yet succeeded. Certes this is but a temporary check; I shall soon have made the requisite improvements. By the way, art wearing a counterspell against others' magic?"

  "Yea, sir. Is it still effective after all these months?"

  "I could not be sure without tests; but my spiritual senses tell me it be. Of course, I should have to cancel it for my transporter to become effective."

  Kerin thoughtfully replied: "I think not that I care to chance arriving in Kuromon naked, penniless, and without even Doctor Uller's protective spell. That might not bother Wejo's mongoose, but it's not my idea of an auspicious arrival in a strange land. My ship does sail a few days hence. Since I have already paid a deposit, methinks it wiser to adhere to my previous plan."

  "Humph! Are ye sure ye be not simply affrighted by the prospect?"

  Kerin grinned. "Not at all sure, sir."

  Klung sighed. "Ye were a fine subject; but all the
lusty youths to whom I have made the offer find reasons why they cannot. At your age, I should have seized the chance. The younger generation are a spineless lot!"

  Outside the balimpawang's house, dusk was falling. Kerin called: "Belinka!"

  "Here!" said the little blue light, dancing against the darkling sky.

  "Didst learn much?"

  "Somewhat, but not so much as I should have had I remained for tonight's meeting of the Navigator's Guild. I had to return hither to meet you."

  "You know where this guild meets, then?"

  "Aye; I followed the witch. They foregather in an abandoned temple, half fallen down from earthquakes."

  "Well, go back and report to me when the meeting be over. You'll find me aboard the ship."

  The moon, now a narrow crescent, had not yet set when Belinka returned. She found Kerin in the captain's cabin, poring over a booklet of Kuromonian phrases by the light of a candle. He put the book away, saying:

  "I'm glad of an excuse not to wear out mine eyes on these damned scribbles by this feckless light. It gives me a headache. Now tell me all."

  "The navigators were enjoying a supper when I arrived, sitting in a circle on cushions and served by Twelfth Plane demons."

  "How many navigators were there?"

  "Seventeen when I arrived, and one more came in later. Then they called the meeting to order. After the tedious preliminaries—minutes of the last meeting, report of the treasury, and so on—Janji, who is treasurer, brought up your visit to Kuromon. The thought of that navigating device did stir them deeply. They spake of giving you a mortal thrust in the tripes; others favored hiring a pawang to blast you by magic. Janji said a maleficent spell might not penetrate your counterspell. Another objected that to attack you were unethical; another, that it might get the guild in trouble, and so on. One progressive wight proposed that they embrace the new device and learn to use it instead of their spells, but they howled him down.

  "An aged member argued to move cautiously. After all, you might never reach Kuromon, the hazards of sea travel being what they are. If you did get there, the Kuromonians might thwart your efforts to filch their secret or punish you for trying. Some of their punishments are most unpleasant, such as staking you out and causing one of the Emperor's elephants to tread upon you. If you got the instrument despite all odds and survived the voyage back to Kwatna, that were time to lay an ambuscade. They ought to assign the members in rotation to keep awatch on Kuromonian ships and to scout such ships by their familiars whilst they be still at sea."

  "What was the outcome?" Kerin asked.

  "I know not, for I was compelled to flee. Janji's bir, or hantu as they call them here, returned from a tour of the drink shops, where he had been stealing a few drops from each drinking vessel. Still furious over my broken promise, he chased me forth. Had he not been so drunk, I could not have lost him."

  "Let's hope the cautious elder's advice prevails," muttered Kerin. "And now, another task. I wish you to examine the Temple of Bautong from capstone to crypt, taking careful note of its structure so I can draw an accurate plan."

  "But Master Kerin!" protested Belinka. "The balimpawang—the other one, that is—will have familiars at his command! They will assail me, or at least alert the wizard to my presence."

  "Not necessarily. He said he had dismissed his spirits when exiled, and belike he hasn't yet replaced his spooks. In any case we must chance it; so go!"

  "But wherefore this sudden interest in temple architecture?"

  Kerin sighed. A familiar spirit might be handy to have, but not one who argued every step. "My princess is imprisoned in the Temple of Bautong, where Pwana means to sacrifice her in some abominable rite. I'm told Nogiri is in a chamber atop the tower. To get her out, I must know the structure's plan."

  "Master Kerin, you are mad! I'll not permit it! If you succeed, you will have been untrue to Adeliza; if you fail, you will have thrown away your life!"

  "Belinka," said Kerin sternly, "I have made up my mind. So go study the temple!"

  "I will not! You cannot compel me!"

  "If you don't, I'll go myself and try to break in. I shall probably be slain; whereas with knowledge in advance, I shall at least have a better chance. Which shall it be?"

  "I said I won't—"

  "Then here goes." Kerin rose, strapped on his sword, and fumbled in his bag.

  "Oh, you pig-headed monster!" cried Belinka. "I'll go, since you force me. But you shall rue your contumacy! If I suffer scathe, it will be all your fault!" She zipped away into the darkness.

  Kerin settled himself to think. Jorian had warned him: Ere you begin any perilous emprise, take time to think. Imagine what every step along the way will entail and formulate a plan to cope therewith. Then imagine what could go wrong at every step, and make alternate plans for such events. The only thing worse than entering upon an adventure with no plan is to go in with a plan you have become so fond of that you cannot bear to change it, even if it leads you to destruction.

  Fortunately for Kerin, he was not one whom such advice repelled. While not altogether free of youthful impulsiveness and recklessness, his character leaned more towards the prudent and judicious.

  First he had to gain access to Nogiri's room. Locked doors and windows offered no great obstacle, thanks to Jorian's picklocks, whose use he had practiced. But first he had to get to the chamber. If he went up inside, that meant evading the guards and priests, or somehow rendering them harmless, as by a drug or spell. If that would not work, he would have to ascend outside. Having no wings or flying broomstick . . .

  Then, supposing he got the princess out of the temple, they must needs flee to the Tukara Mora. So he would have to make sure that, first, the gangplank was out and the crew warned of his arrival; and second, that his possessions were already aboard, since he would have no chance to go back for them. And Nogiri would need accommodations. . . .

  Next day, Kerin came to Balimpawang Klung's door with a roll of paper. It had taken him hours to locate a source of paper, since the Salimorese were not a highly literate folk and there was little demand. When he located a source, it turned out not to be the familiar rag paper but a brown local product made from palm fronds cut and glued together in a press. As before, Belinka remained outside when Kerin entered the house.

  "Here," Kerin told Klung, "are the plans of the Temple of Bautong. Here is the chamber wherein Nogiri is immured, over thirty feet above ground."

  "Interesting," said Klung, "but why bringst these plans to me?"

  "Because I shall want your help in getting her out ere Pwana slay her."

  "My dear young man! I mind not helping a worthy youth in everyday matters, but ye ask me to interfere with one of the deadliest sorcerers our fair land hath produced. Why should I endanger myself for you or Princess Nogiri? It is not as if ye had put me in your debt. If anyone owes you a favor, it is Pwana, for fetching him from his isle. But ye ken how much succor to expect from that source. Certes, for a Sophi's ransom I might consider it; but I misdoubt ye have enough wealth to tempt me from the path of prudence."

  Kerin pondered. "I doubt if the money I fetched from home will last me out the journey, be I ever so thrifty. But perchance I could be useful to you in other ways."

  "How so?"

  After another pause, Kerin said: "Belike I could help you at the forthcoming election in your guild. I've seen how such things are done in the Republic of Vindium, and in mine own Kingdom of Kortoli we elect a House of Burgesses to control public expenditures. My father served a term as a burgess."

  Klung shook his head. "Salimor is no republic, like those I hear of in the Far West, where candidates for office harangue the rabble from street corners. Ye would only antagonize the members by exhortations, being not only a nonmember but, in their eyes, a mannerless foreigner to boot."

  Kerin pondered. "Know you of the Kuromonian navigation device, which the Navigators' Guild so fears?"

  "I ken somewhat thereof. What is your connection
therewith?"

  Kerin told of his troubles with Janji. "Come to think, those Kuromonian ships in harbor must bear the device. Has none sought to buy or steal it?"

  "Yea; but the Kuromonians keep it locked up in a secure part of the ship, whereto only the captain and a few trusted officers have access. Well?"

  "If I smuggled such a device to Salimor, wouldn't it be of value to you?"

  "Why? No sailor, I."

  "But if the navigators so fear it, wouldn't it augment your power amongst the guilds?"

  Klung took time to answer. "Now that ye mention it, belike it would. It hath been proposed to choose a single superbalimpawang over all the guilds affiliated with mine own: the Navigators', the Diviners', and the Healers'. The guilds' balimpawangs oppose the change, fearing diminution of their power. Had I this device, methinks I could swing at least the navigators; or belike get the navigators and Irapat, the head of the Merchants' Guild, bidding against each other for it. . . . I'll do it! Present the device on your return from Kuromon, and ye shall have mine unstinted aid in rescuing your lass."

  "But sir!" cried Kerin. "I may not be able to return thence until long after the lady have been offered to Pwana's dark deities!"

  Klung sighed. "Ever some fribbling difficulty! Had ye some vasty treasure to leave as security. . . ."

  After an hour's haggling, they agreed that Kerin should sign an agreement making him Klung's bondservant for one year in case he returned from Kuromon without the navigating device. Klung wrote the contract in both Salimorese and Novarian. Knowing that Wejo the guard was literate, Kerin insisted that Wejo read off the Salimorese version, while Kerin followed the Novarian version to make sure that they were equivalents.

  "Now for details," said Kerin. He spread out the sheets of palm-leaf paper on which he had drawn plans of the temple. "Here's the princess. Inside, Belinka tells me, all corridors are guarded, especially the stair that winds up the tower. Could you cast a spell of immobility upon these men, or drug them?"