The Honorable Barbarian

by L. Sprague De Camp

  "Nay; the temple is shielded by potent counterspells."

  "Could you then make me invisible, as Pwana did to himself when he left us?"

  "I could; but then ye were bounden to strip naked lest your garments seem to enter the temple by themselves; and for the same reason ye could not bear any weapon. Besides, the counterspell would cancel your invisibility as ye neared the temple. Furthermore, I could not so ensorcel the princess whilst she were in her chamber and I on the ground outside."

  "Then, methinks, I must invade Nogiri's chamber from the outside, if I can get up there."

  Klung pursed his lips. "It would take a monstrous ladder to reach the third story. I warned Pwana that so tall a building invited the wrath of the underground dragon whose twitchings, they say, cause earthquakes. But Pwana scoffed; his vanity insisted upon the tallest structure in Kwatna. The setting up of the ladder would surely arouse those within. Couldst climb the wall, using the decorations as handholds?"

  "I might, if the decorations were ornate enough all the way up; though I haven't seen such intricate masonry on Salimorese buildings. But even if I could, I doubt if Nogiri could clamber down by the same route."

  "She could cling to your back."

  "I doubt that even more. Not sure am I that I could find holds for hands and feet, and a hundred-odd pounds on my back would render the task hopeless. Hast no flying broomsticks, such as the mightiest Western magicians use, like Sir Fendix of Othomae?"

  Klung shuddered. "I have heard of such utensilabes, but we have none in the archipelago to my knowledge. I am told their use be most exhausting, leaving the flier fordone for days."

  "Not so bad as that—"

  "Besides," said Klung firmly, "I am not fain to risk my aging, gorbellied self by swooping through the empyraean astride a slender stick. The mere thought fills me with horror.''

  "Well then, have you one of those magical ropes, animated by a Second Plane entity to spring upright on command? My brother once escaped execution by such means."

  Klung pondered. "Aye, now that ye remind me, methinks such a device doth indeed lie amid the clutter in my storage room. I have not used it for many years. For one thing, only a handful of houses in Kwatna have more than one story; for another, I am not the lithe young athlete I was forty years ago." The balimpawang smiled reminiscently. "When I was a lusty, lecherous youth, I employed the rope to offer my—ah—services to ladies fair in lofty quarters." He sighed. "But I have long been respectably wived, and . . . Master Kerin, art wed?"

  "Nay, sir."

  "Had ye been, ye'd understand why I would not roil domestic tranquility for amorous adventures."

  "If the rope be so long unused, wouldn't you have to recharge its spell?"

  "Aye; the entity would long since have leaked out and decamped. But think ye simply to march into the temple grounds, set up the rope, and climb without causing attention? If I know Pwana, he will have the grounds patrolled."

  "Then," said Kerin, "let's devise a distraction. Couldst ignite a magical fire or something of the sort?"

  Klung tapped his chin with his forefinger. "Methinks I can do better. My stable of spirits includes an Eighth Plane entity. I can compel it to take on your aspect and make a disturbance at the door, or as near to the door as the counterspell allows."

  "A doublegoer, as we call it? What's needed to evoke such a being?"

  "Evocation is easy; the hard part is teaching it to play the role of Kerin the Novarian convincingly. Oh, Wejo!" he called.

  "Aye, Master?"

  "Tomorrow I shall not be available for consultations. For the benefit of clients who can read, write a sign telling them to return anon, and turn away any who present themselves. For emergencies, refer them to my colleague Pawang Banting; I shall send him word to cover for me." He grinned slyly at Kerin. "I should never have let you lure me into this birdbrained scheme, but the chance to do the accursed Pwana one in the eye were too seductive to resist."

  "One thing more," said Kerin. "I still have Malgo's little ship and some of's loot. How does one sell them at the best prices in Kwatna?"

  "Why not hire your own crew and sail the ship to Kuromon and back?"

  "I am not expert enough. 'Tis by the grace of Psaan, our sea god, that I sailed her hither from Kinungung with no worse disaster than a temporary stranding. So how best to dispose of her?"

  "Ye need an auctioneer. In my youth, ere I entered my present profession, I apprenticed at that trade. Belike I could manage your emprise—naturally, for a commission."

  "How much?"

  Klung pursed his lips. "One quarter of the price."

  "Oh? Back in Novaria, the going rate is ten per centum." Kerin knew something of auctions from his experience in the family clock business.

  "Belike," said Klung, "but this is not Novaria. Save that I like you, I should ask half or at least a third."

  Kerin did not altogether trust this genial if vain and garrulous magician, even though Klung had shown more candor than was usual in his secretive profession. On the other hand, he might run a worse risk with any other Salimorese. As a lone foreigner in a strange land, he was somewhat at the mercy of anyone with whom he did business. Besides, the Tukara Mora would soon sail; so he ought to take what quick profit he could and get out.

  "Agreed, twenty-five per centum," he said.

  Next morning, assured by Belinka that Nogiri was still in the tower chamber, Kerin remained aboard the Benduan long enough to examine the loot in the hold. He picked out an especially fine kris, with a jeweled hilt; probably the one Malgo had worn. Kerin, who had been warned that such a weapon was forbidden to lower-class persons, found its balance quite different from the swords he was used to. Having only a blunt point, it was intended purely for cutting.

  Still, he coveted it as a souvenir of his journey. So he wrapped it in a fancy cloak and shoved the bundle into his bag. He also sequestered a gaudy silken sash with a pattern of red, green, and yellow stripes. There seemed to be no such thing in Salimor as a pair of trews with loops for a belt to hold them up. The Salimorese made do with a sarong, a wrap-around skirt or kilt held up by the friction of the rolled overlap or by a sash.

  Thinking of the discomfort of his woollen trousers in this steamy, sticky climate, he took them off and donned a sarong and the sash over them. Thus clad, he hoped to be less conspicuous. Not wishing to draw attention to the package hung round his neck, he kept his shirt on instead of baring his thorax like most Salimorese.

  Then he went to Klung's house and persuaded the balimpawang to start work on the auction of his surplus properties. Klung conducted the auction with dispatch that afternoon, while Kerin moved his baggage to the Tukara Mora.

  The following morning saw Kerin seated on a cushion in Klung's oratory, surrounded by the dull-gleaming brass of cryptic magical devices. Standing at a table laden with apparatus, Klung strove to make the Eighth Plane entity into a proper duplicate of Kerin. The entity, a manlike shape, shimmered and wavered in the pentacle. Klung said:

  "Rise, Master Kerin!" Then to the undulating shape in formal Salimorese: "Behold thy model! Assume its aspect!"

  The shape slowly solidified and took on Kerin's appearance from the turban, which Kerin wore to look more like a local, down to the sea boots.

  "Turn!" commanded Klung.

  When the shape did so, it resembled Kerin only in front. The back was a smooth, brownish surface, into which the clothing merged. It was as if someone had made a mannequin of Kerin designed to stand with its back to a wall, so that only the front could be seen.

  "Idiot!" shouted Klung. "Thou shalt replicate Master Kerin all the way round. Turn, Kerin!"

  Kerin thought this a little unfair to the entity, since it had seen only his front; but it was not for him to interfere. He obeyed, and gradually the entity's impersonation became more exact. When Klung was satisfied with the being's appearance, he asked Kerin:

  "What think ye to say when ye confront Pwana—or rather, when your simulacrum acco
sts the rascal?''

  Kerin thought. "Something like: 'Doctor Pwana, where is Princess Nogiri? What have you done with her? I demand to see her forthwith!' Not that I expect him to yield to my wishes."

  "Good enough." Then to the entity: "Repeat after Master Kerin: 'Doctor Pwana, where is . . .' Nay, thou must needs speak with his foul foreign accent."

  "That is unfair!" protested the entity in a thin, reedy voice. "The last time I served you, ye insisted I speak your tongue like a Salimorese lord. Now ye ask that I distort it as doth this round-eyed foreigner. There be too many accents to learn them all!"

  "Just do as thou art told!" shouted Klung. He fiddled with his magical apparatus, causing the entity to yelp. "And lower thy pitch!" added Klung. "Master Kerin speaketh in the middle register for males, compared to which thy speech is as the twitter of birds."

  As the day wore on, the entity's imitation of Kerin became more and more convincing. Klung insisted on going over every detail of clothing, every word, and every gesture, until the entity had it just right.

  "Pwana may be the biggest villain unhung," he explained, "but none hath accused him of stupidity. He will be on watch for any betraying incongruity. Dost plan your emprise for tonight?"

  "I'm unsure. I must warn the folk on the Tukara Mora, so that when we arrive in haste there shall be no delay in boarding."

  "Why all this preparation for boarding a ship?"

  "Because most captains draw in their gangplanks at night, to foil the harbor thieves. Armed guards walk the deck and, if a stranger rush aboard unannounced at night, are wont to strike instanter and question anon." Kerin stood frowning. "I know! I'll ask my familiar to scout the Temple of Bautong, to see if any preparations for the great and grisly sacrifice go forward. Whilst she's about it, I shall see to quarters for Nogiri." He went out and called: "Belinka!"

  "Here, Master Kerin. Hast finished your business within?"

  "Not quite." Kerin gave Belinka her orders.

  "Ugh!" she said. "I hate to enter that temple; it hath an evil aura, and the counterspell that envelops it makes the passage through it seem like flight through syrup. And you know what I think of your brown barbarian."

  "Just go like a good sprite!"

  On the Tukara Mora, Kerin hunted up Purser Zummo, explaining: "I shall bring a woman with me after all. What accommodations can you give her?''The purser looked dubious. "This person sold our last double cabin today. Some of our passengers have a spare pallet, but I know not if your woman would care to sleep with a strange man."

  "I'm sure she would like it not."

  The officer fiddled with his thin fringe of whisker. "Unless perchance one of those who have a double cabin but occupy only one bunk would trade places with you. . . ."

  "Master Zummo," said Kerin, "this woman is a princess. Have you no single cabins?"

  "Oh, that is different. Aye, there are two, for persons of rank. Number Two is free for the voyage."

  "How much?"

  Zummo named a figure substantially higher than the total cost of a double cabin. Kerin winced at the bite it would take from his remaining funds. After hesitation he said:

  "Pray, could I hold that single cabin with a deposit whilst I ask the lady for her preferences?"

  "Aye, that you can do."

  "May I see this splendid single cabin?"

  The single was larger than any of the doubles and, moreover, had a substantial bed instead of a mere pallet on the floor. The bed was secured to the floor by wooden pins. The cabin was otherwise more impressive, also, with black and crimson dragons writhing along the walls. Kerin sighed and paid his deposit, saying:

  "We may arrive in haste, pursued by ill-wishers. Could I count on your leaving your gangplank in place for most of the night, so that we can board without delay?"

  "When is this furtive arrival to be?" asked Zummo.

  "Tomorrow night, methinks."

  " 'Twill cost you extra, since we shall have to work one of the marines overtime, to guard the plank."

  When Kerin returned from the Tukara Mora, he found the balimpawang seated at a little table bearing victuals. "Aha, Master Kerin! Sit ye down; Wejo shall fetch your repasture."

  In the course of the meal, Klung said: "A rumor doth agitate the navigators of a secret compact betwixt the Emperor of Kuromon and the King of Kings of Mulvan. It is said that an envoy will travel from court to court, bearing some token—perchance a missive, perchance a gem, amulet, talisman, or other object of worth and power. For this, the Kuromonians will give the messenger something to bear back to Trimandilam. Kennest aught of this?"

  "Why, there was a young Mulvani—" began Kerin. He bit off his sentence, remembering his imprudent outburst the first night on the Dragonet.

  "Yea, ye were about to say?" probed Klung, looking keenly at Kerin.

  "Nought much. There was a young Mulvani on my first ship, who boarded at Janareth; but he left us at Akkander. So I doubt he had aught to do with any secret treaty."

  Klung: "Ah, well, perchance there be nought to the tale. The navigators wet their sarongs with anxiety, lest the Emperor hath sold the secret of their navigating device to the Mulvanians."

  Then Klung dropped the subject. Kerin was glad that, at the moment, Klung's hantu was not scrutinizing him for veracity.

  Kerin was finishing his meal when he heard Belinka's squeak: "Master Kerin! Master Kerin! Come out, pray!"

  Outside, Kerin asked: "What found you?"

  "N-nought; all is dark and quiet in the temple. Your giglot remains in her tower room."

  Inside, Kerin reported to Klung what Belinka had said. "So, I take it she's safe for the night?"

  "Think ye the sprite told the truth?" asked Klung.

  Kerin frowned, pulling at his new beard. "Now that you mention it, there was something odd in her manner. She sounded excited, like a mortal out of breath; but why should finding nought excite her? Couldst visit the temple in your astral form, as you did before?"

  "No need; I shall dispatch my hantu. The task were well within his modest ability. Oh, Sendu!"

  "Aye, my lord?" said the voice of someone hovering invisibly above the remains of their dinner.

  Klung gave his command; the sprite replied: "I hear and obey!"In a quarter-hour the sprite was back, saying: "There is a hubbub in the temple, my lords. Pwana and his folk are robing themselves in brilliant hues, whilst others move magical furnishings about in the crypt below the altar."

  "As I suspected," said Klung, "your familiar lied for jealousy. If ye go thither on the morrow, ye will find the princess already slain."

  "Then we must chance it tonight!"

  "We shall see," said Klung. "Sendu! Was Princess Nogiri still in her chamber?''

  "Aye, my lord."

  "How is her room furnished?"

  "As best I can recall, a bed, a chest of drawers, two chairs, and a wash stand."

  "Doth her door open inward or outward?"

  The sprite hesitated. "I examined the hinges not, my lord; but methinks it open inward."

  "Then return thither and tell the princess, if she value her life, to pile all the furniture against the door." Klung turned to Kerin. "Take the coil of rope. Art sure ye remember how to activate it?"

  Kerin ran over the spell, moving his lips and gesturing. "Is that correct?"

  "It will do. Shog along!"

  VII

  The Temple of Bautong

  The silver sickle of the lunar crescent hung in the western sky, above a horizon whereon the blue-green gloam of sunset was fading, when Kerin, Klung, and Kerin's double approached the Temple of Bautong.

  Kerin wore his everyday shirt and breeches, with his Salimorese turban and his scabbard, in Salimorese style, thrust through the back of the fancy sash from the loot. This arrangement proved less comfortable than suspending the sword from his baldric. But he thought that, first, it made him less conspicuous and, second, that it was less likely to swing about and bang things as he climbed.

  The temenos
or sacred enclosure filled a lot in Kwatna over a bowshot across. Around the borders ran a ten-foot wall of stone with broken crockery set in mortar along the top.The gate in the wall had been locked, but Kerin brought out his bag of picklocks and soon had the portal open. The temple, softly gleaming in the light of the quartermoon, rose amidst the grounds. Unlike most fanes of Salimor, the temenos was rather bare of vegetation. There were flower beds and a few trees, standing well away from the temple; but nothing like the jungle of greenery crowding most temple grounds.

  Klung motioned to crouch behind the scanty screen of a spray of flowers. Kerin whispered: "Why so bare?"

  "Pwana fears lest some foe miche up under cover of plantings, as we do now. He lays out his grounds so there be nought for an ill-wisher to hide behind."

  "Then how shall we approach unseen?"

  "I shall command your simulacrum. Whilst he holds the cullions at the door in play, hasten beneath the damsel's window. . . . Quiet! There goeth the sentry."

  Dim in the moonlight, a figure paced into view around a temple corner. Although Kerin could not make out its features, he could see that it wore a Salimorese jacket and skirt and bore a heavy kris, like the one that on his arrival in Kwatna had almost deprived Kerin of his head, upon its shoulder.

  As the figure plodded on its circuit until it showed its back to the watchers, the balimpawang whispered to the phantom: "Carry out thine orders!"

  The pseudo-Kerin rose and marched determinedly towards the temple. When, small with distance, it reached the door, Kerin heard its voice raised, though he could not discern the words. The sentry, sword in hand, bustled back around the corner. The door opened; figures appeared. Voices rose in dispute.

  "Now!" breathed Klung. "Go yonder, crouching, until ye be out of sight of the front door; then cut in to the wall beneath your sweetling's window. Run!"

  "Where will you be?"

  "Here, unless compelled to flee. I know a little spell, from a Twelfth Plane demon, to make people overlook me. I should be useless where a clean pair of heels must be shown. Go, whilst the entity hold the priests' attention!"