Calendar Girl

by Georgia Beers

  Addison was good under pressure. She always had been. In business. This? This was so different. So…unfamiliar. And navigating it was like walking on a cobblestone street in high heels. Every step, she was in danger of falling to the ground in a heap. She sat there under the penetrating gaze of a woman she’d just met and knew her eyes were slightly wider than normal. She could feel them, blinked several times to try and compensate. Don’t have crazy eyes in front of the mom. Do not have crazy eyes in front of the mom!

  This was so not the “grand gesture” she’d hoped for. Not even close. She’d planned to come here, knock on the door—thereby taking Katie by complete surprise—and grovel a bit. Then she was going to whisk her away to someplace quiet and grovel some more, tell her what she’d done, what she could offer, and how much she cared about her, how badly she wanted to give this thing a shot. It was going to be super sweet and devastatingly romantic. What she hadn’t planned on was Katie already dealing with some huge emotional stuff and crying in her arms on the front lawn. What she hadn’t planned on was sitting at a small kitchen table with Katie’s mother, who was looking at her with a face that clearly said, “Go ahead. Give me a reason that will change my mind about killing you for hurting my little girl.”

  Addison stalled by picking up her wineglass and had to resist the urge to take a couple of really large swallows right about then. She was determined to salvage her plan—somehow—and make this work.

  “I think I got it all,” Katie said, entering the kitchen, thank freaking God. She carried the broom and a dustpan very full of shards of glass and colorful bits of what Addison had to assume were shattered and broken Christmas ornaments. She dumped the debris, put the broom and dustpan away, and took the third seat at the table. Wineglass in hand, she looked from her mother to Addison and back and asked, “What’d I miss?”

  “Oh, I was just waiting for Addison here to elaborate on firing you.” Liz gave a smile that didn’t reach her eyes, and Addison’s nerves jangled into even higher gear.

  “Mom. Give her a break. I’m sure she had her reasons.” Katie sipped, then turned her brown-eyed gaze to Addison for the first time since she’d arrived. Both Cooper women stared. Waited.

  Addison swallowed hard. And loudly, which caused her face to heat up; she could feel it.

  “Mom,” Katie said finally, breaking the tense silence. “Could you give us a minute? Please?” A look passed between mother and daughter. Addison saw it, saw the unspoken conversation that happened right before her eyes.

  “Sure.” Liz reached over and squeezed Katie’s hand. “I’ll be right in the other room if you need me.” She said that last bit while looking at Addison with a not-quite-glare on her face.

  Wow. Do not mess with the Coopers. Addison swallowed again as Liz left the kitchen.

  They sat there across from each other. Quietly. Katie had both hands on her wineglass where it sat on the table, and she spun it slowly with her fingers. Her gaze was fixed there, and Addison realized she was having trouble looking at her.

  “Katie,” she said softly, then waited.

  The glass spun.

  “Katie. Look at me. Please.”

  A gentle clearing of her throat, and Katie finally looked up. There was so much in her dark eyes right then. So very much. Pain. Hope. Fear. Exhaustion. Confusion. Desire. It all swirled around, blended together but also abundantly clear, each different emotion. Addison could pick them all out, individually.

  “I’m sorry.” Addison said the words, the words she should’ve said sooner. Much sooner. She felt them and did her best to make Katie understand that. She meant them.

  Katie nodded slowly, her focus turning back to her wineglass.

  “No. Listen to me.” Addison reached across the table, closed her hand over Katie’s forearm, waited for her to meet her eyes. “These past couple of months have been…” She searched for words, actually looked up at the ceiling. Maybe they’re there? This wasn’t like her. Addison Fairchild did not have trouble speaking. She did not stumble and stutter over her words. “They’ve been so many things. Brutal. Painful. Confusing. Scary. Exhilarating. Wonderful.” Her head tilted to the side as she did her best to show Katie what she meant. To make her see into Addison’s head. Into her heart. “Listen.” She retrieved her hand, scratched at a nonexistent spot on the table with her thumbnail, focused on it. “I have made some really poor decisions lately. I know that. I’ve lost focus. I’ve closed myself off. I’ve…gotten away from who I am, and that started long before you entered the picture.”

  “And who are you, Addison?” The question lacked sarcasm. In fact, it seemed genuine, and Katie’s expression had gone from shuttered to open as Addison met her eyes.

  Well, if that isn’t the million-dollar question.

  “I used to know,” Addison said honestly. “I was always sure. Always certain. I rarely questioned anything in life. I was in control, had my hands on the steering wheel. But…” She inhaled slowly, took a small sip of wine for strength—dealing with one’s own inner demons could always benefit from a little liquid courage—and talked to Katie more openly, more truthfully, than she’d talked to anybody in a very long time. “Somewhere along the line, I confused my worth with my work, if that makes sense. I don’t know exactly when it happened, but I started to base my own value on how well I did my job.” She held up a hand. “Wait. No, that’s not true. I do know when. I think, while it’s always been a bit of an issue for me, it turned into a real problem when my mother announced last year that she was stepping down to retire and one of us would take over.”

  Katie nodded. “I remember hearing about that. When does it happen?”

  “It happened last weekend.”

  “And when do you start?”

  “I don’t.”

  Those dark eyes widened in obvious shock. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean she chose Katrina to take over. Not me.” There. She’d said it out loud and the world hadn’t crumbled around her.

  “But…you’re the oldest. The most dedicated…” Katie’s voice trailed off as she seemed to search for the right thing to say. “Oh, my God, Addison.” It was Katie’s turn to reach across the table, close her hand over Addison’s. “I’m so sorry. I know you wanted that. In fact, I kind of assumed it was yours.”

  “Yeah, so did I. That was a mistake.”

  “So…you weren’t sick this week.” It was a statement, not a question.

  Addison shook her head. “No. I was sulking.” A sarcastic chuckle escaped her lips.

  “Of course you were. I would’ve, too.” Katie gazed toward the window, her mouth a tight line.

  Somehow, those words made Addison feel just the slightest bit better, and that gave her the strength to push forward. “So, here’s the thing.” She waited until she had Katie’s attention again. “Katrina knows what she’s doing. And if I’m going to be honest, she’s actually a great choice. She balances work and home life much better than I do. She always has. I spoke to her before I came here today and…I have some things to say to you.”

  Katie’s expression was suddenly unreadable, and Addison wondered if she meant it to be that way. If she was protecting herself from whatever words Addison might send in her direction. But she kept eye contact, stayed focused on the conversation, even as she continued to slowly spin her wineglass in her fingers.

  Addison took a deep breath and continued. “I have worked my ass off at the expense of the other parts of my life. And by the time I realized I was doing it, I’d already pushed away almost everybody important to me. For a while, I thought that was fine. I didn’t really need other people. I’d just work more. So I did, which, of course, helped nothing as far as those other parts of my life went. And after a little more time, they weren’t just empty, they were dusty and filled with cobwebs.”

  The corner of Katie’s mouth tugged up in a half-smile.

  “But I was okay with that. I had my job. My work. I didn’t need anything else. I was good. Eve
n after my hospital scare and finding out I have an ulcer, my stress level was through the roof, my blood pressure was too high. Didn’t matter. I was good.” She paused, wet her lips, surprised at how nervous she’d suddenly become. “And then you came along.”

  Again with the half-smile, but this one had an edge of hesitation to it. Still, Katie remained quiet and seemingly enthralled.

  “It didn’t take long for my attraction to you to surface. And I fought it.”

  “Me, too,” Katie said softly.

  “In fact, I had just fired somebody for fraternizing not long before your arrival. My mom’s big on not even a hint of impropriety at Fairchild Enterprises. She prides herself on it. So you were off-limits, plain and simple.” The lump in her throat was unexpected, and it took two attempts to swallow it down. “But I couldn’t. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t resist. There’s so much about you to like, Katie Cooper. So much. I just couldn’t keep myself from crossing that line. And while I probably owe you an apology for that, I don’t regret it. Not for one second.” A snort. “Maybe I owe you an apology for that, too.”

  Katie shook her head, that half-grin still in place. When she opened her mouth to speak, Addison held up a hand.

  “Wait. Let me get through this and then you can talk for the rest of the day as far as I’m concerned.”

  Katie’s smile grew and she nodded but said nothing.

  “When my mother announced—at a family business dinner in front of several people, which still stings, but whatever—that she’d chosen Katrina instead of me, I immediately assumed it was because of you and me. The way we left the gala.”

  “Yeah, we weren’t exactly subtle, were we?” Katie asked, with a grimace.

  “No, but that wasn’t your fault. That was all on me. And I would do the exact same thing all over again. I know that now.” Addison had never spoken truer words in her life.

  Katie blinked at her, her eyes uncertain.

  “I talked to my mother last night, got all her reasoning, most of which centered on my health, but a little tiny bit did focus on you and me. And instead of listening to my heart, I went with my head, went with what it would take to get my mother’s approval in the situation, which has been my default for way too long. It’s what I’ve always done: what my mom would want. Thus, letting you go. But I need you to know something.” Addison paused there, let the words hang in the air while she caught her breath, tried to slow the pounding of her heart and the rushing of her blood. Again she reached across the table, took Katie’s hand. “The second you walked out my office door today, I knew I’d fucked up. Royally. In the biggest way possible. That’s why I’m here now. I want to make it up to you.”

  There. It was all out. All the cards on the table.

  Well. Almost all of them.

  Addison took in as much air as her lungs would hold, then let it out slowly. Being nervous was such a foreign feeling for her; she didn’t like it. She didn’t like the way her heart hammered in her chest, loud enough that she’d be surprised if Katie couldn’t hear it. She didn’t like the way the odd and uncomfortable wave of warmth coursed through her, like her blood was slowly simmering. She didn’t enjoy the thin layer of perspiration that coated her palms…

  She pushed on.

  “I have a proposition for you.”

  Katie’s eyebrows rose. “Okay.” She drew the word out, her hesitation clear.

  “Since I wasn’t the one who hired you, I didn’t see your original application, so I called it up. You have a degree in business administration and you started on your master’s but dropped out. I’m assuming because your dad got sick?”

  Katie nodded, and it was obvious from the look on her face that she wasn’t quite sure where this was going.

  “You had a job at a tech company but left it a couple months before you started working for me.”

  Katie’s voice was soft as she explained, “They wouldn’t let me work part-time, and I needed to so I could help my mom out.”

  “So you found the nanny position.”

  “Right. Not what I wanted to do, but the hours were flexible enough for me to look for additional employment, and I love kids, so…”

  Addison nodded. “And it pays well?”

  “Not as well as working for Fairchild Rentals.”

  “Touché. You like the nanny job?”

  Katie seemed to think about it, tipping her head one way, then the other. “Yeah, it’s okay.”

  “What if you had a job with a reputable company, that was in your field, paid you more than nannying, allowed you to have a flexible schedule so you could be available to help at home, and had opportunity for advancement and continued education?”

  “I’d say that would be a dream come true.” Katie cocked her head and narrowed her eyes. “What are you getting at here, Addison?”

  They sat at that kitchen table, directly across from each other, gazes held tight. For the first time since they’d begun talking, Addison could hear the TV from the other room, somebody shouting excitedly about something—she imagined a very large fish. Without breaking the intense eye contact they were sharing, she sat up straighter, lifted her arms, put them on the table, and folded her hands.

  “Katrina would like to hire you.”

  Katie’s eyes widened. “What?”

  Addison nodded. “In her new job, she’s going to need somebody she trusts. Her current admin wants to stay where she is, so Katrina is looking for somebody new. But she doesn’t just want an admin.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “She wants somebody with business savvy. Somebody who will shift and grow along with the business, because she’s got plans. If you start here, you’ll have lots of chances to advance up the ranks of Fairchild Enterprises. In addition, my mother has always been a big advocate of education, and I know she expects that to continue on even in her retirement. So, I’m sure there would be plenty of opportunity to continue toward your master’s degree.”

  “Addison, I…” Katie shifted in her chair and gave off the appearance of being both excited and uncomfortable. “I feel like you engineered this to make up for firing me, but…I’m a big girl. I don’t need charity. Or a consolation prize. No matter how ideal it is.”

  “Oh, I’m not just doing this for you,” Addison said, allowing a small smile as she tread carefully forward. “I have some selfish reasons.”

  “Such as?”

  “Well, I’ve just kind of poured my heart out telling you how I feel about you.”

  A slow nod from Katie.

  “And I’m plowing forward even though I’m not sure if you feel the same.”

  “Mm-hmm.”

  Yeah, she’s not going to help me at all here. Addison had to admit she kind of admired Katie’s toughness, even if she was the recipient. “And if you work for my sister at F.E., you’re not working for me.”

  Katie’s eyes narrowed.

  “Which means you’re not my subordinate anymore.”

  Addison saw the exact moment Katie understood and her smile grew wide as Katie’s eyes did the same. “Which means we could date, and it wouldn’t matter,” Katie said, her pitch raising to a higher note. Addison chose to believe that was caused by excitement.

  “Which means we could date, and it wouldn’t matter.” Addison waited a beat while the facts hung in the air between them. She could almost see them hovering over the center of the table, and she cleared her throat. “I mean, if you want. If you’d want to. Date me. Totally up to you. Totally.” She cleared her throat again, mortified by her utter lack of finesse when it came to Katie. She sighed and said, with only a slight whine in her voice, “You know, I really am smoother than this. I don’t know what you do to me, Katie Cooper, but…” She turned her hands palms up and shook her head, letting Katie know she was at a loss.

  Katie’s gentle laugh was like music, melodic and happy. “So, is the stoic and poised Addison Fairchild asking me out on a date?”

  The reality of their situa
tion struck Addison then, and she couldn’t help the chuckle that bubbled up. “She is. Since we did things completely backward, I thought maybe we could go back to the beginning and start where we should have. With a real date.”

  “A real date, huh?”

  “A real, actual date. Katie Cooper, would you have dinner with me?”

  There was a beat of silence before Rhonda’s booming voice startled them both with, “Girl, if you don’t go out with her, I will!”

  And then there was laughter. Addison and Katie and Rhonda and Liz all broke into peals of happy laughter. Addison couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so warm. So comfortable. And while she didn’t want to wait any longer for Katie’s answer, she was also sad to let this moment end.

  “Yes,” Katie said softly then. That rich, brown gaze of hers snagged Addison’s and held it. “I would love to have dinner with you.” She lowered her voice, let her head drop a little toward the table as she added, “And maybe after that, we can go back to your place.”

  Addison feigned a gasp, pressed her hand to her chest in mock horror. “Why, Ms. Cooper. What kind of woman do you take me for?”

  It only took a split second for Katie’s expression to turn absolutely serious. Addison saw it happen. “I take you for the kind of woman I could have a future with.” Then her eyes went wide and she stage-whispered, “Oh, God, was that too much too soon?”

  Addison’s heart melted—she was certain she could feel it—at the cutest face of worry she’d ever seen. “No,” she said with endless affection. “Not even a little bit.”

  “Oh, good. Okay, stand up.” Addison did as she was ordered. Katie stood as well. “Come over here.” Addison rounded the table until she stood face-to-face with Katie, whose voice dropped to a whisper. “I don’t know what this is exactly or where it’ll go, but I’m willing to hop on and take the ride. Are you?”

  Addison nodded, her heart filled to bursting, and reached out to lay a hand against Katie’s face.