What I Need

by J. Daniels

  “Well, he is a lot smaller than you.”

  “He can walk up the stairs. He does it all the time.” Nolan sighs and kicks at the deck. “Did my dad tell you I got a girl now?” he asks, peering up at me.

  My mouth twitches. “Oh yeah? What’s her name?”

  “Ryan. She’s my age. I send her pictures I draw.”

  “Sounds serious.”

  Nolan nods, a heavy breath leaving him. “Yeah. I’m a wreck.”

  I chuckle, head turning. “I feel ya, man,” I say, watching Riley take a wipe out of the pack on the table and clean off Chase’s hands.

  “Nolan, come get washed up,” Mia calls from inside the house. The little guy walks around me. “Luke, CJ, can you grab some of this stuff so we can eat?”

  I set my beer down on the corner of the table and step through the slider.

  Mia hands me a bowl of potato salad and a plate of cut up tomatoes, gives Luke two things to carry, and then grabs some serving spoons. “Here.” She sets them on top of the cellophane. “Tell everyone to start eating. I’ll be out in a second,” she informs us before ushering Nolan down the hallway and into the bathroom below the stairs.

  Tessa moves around the counter carrying a serving tray of mac and cheese, grinning at me like she’s in on some big secret.

  My eyes narrow.

  Yep. I fucking knew it. Riley has definitely been talking. And the fact that Tessa knows means I’m about to get all kinds of shit right now.

  That’s how she operates, especially if she’s happy for you.

  “How’s it going?” Tessa asks me, stopping close.

  “Fine,” I grunt.

  “Ha! Yeah, okay.” She glances outside. “The new guy seems nice. Very friendly . . .”

  My mouth hardens.

  “Babe,” Luke warns.

  Tessa ignores him and gives me a wink. “Good luck out there, Tully,” she says. “We’re all rooting for you. Well, maybe not Reed.” She smiles big before moving away and stepping through the slider.

  “Unbelievable,” I mumble. The new guy seems nice? So much for friends. I look to Luke.

  “She ain’t wrong,” he offers. “He seems like a good kid. And you two should get along good, considering what all you got in common.” A grin slowly spreads across his mouth.

  I glare at him. Luke’s grin keeps spreading.

  “Shut the fuck up,” I growl. “And move your ass already. I’m starving.”

  Throwing his head back with a laugh, Luke follows his wife outside.

  The table is rectangular, with four chairs on each long side and one on each end. Ben is seated at the head of the table with Chase in his lap. Reed is next to him, then Beth and Riley, leaving one chair vacant on that side.

  My chair. That’s where I’m sitting, and I don’t give a damn who’s got something to say about it.

  “Where’s Mia?” Ben asks.

  I step up to the table and set down what I’m carrying. “She’s getting Nolan cleaned up. She said to start,” I tell him, head lifting when movement catches my eye.

  Grayson slides out the seat next to Riley and claims it.

  My nostrils flare.

  What the fuck? Am I going to have to kill this kid?

  “We’ll wait,” Ben announces, letting everyone know not to take a bite until his wife gets out here.

  I kick out the chair next to Luke and slump down in it, planting myself directly across from Riley.

  Ben and Reed start talking about baby proofing or some shit like that. Tessa chimes in. I don’t pay attention. I’m watching Riley. She’s smiling at Grayson, being polite and keeping their conversation going after he initiates it. I having no fucking clue what they’re talking about though. Blood starts rushing in my ears when Grayson throws his arm on the back of Riley’s chair. I hear my heart beat and the muffled voices of everyone around me, that’s it. Then Grayson leans closer to Riley and laughs at something she says. Seeing that, I look over at Reed, thinking he should open his fucking mouth and say something to this kid for looking comfortable with his sister, but instead, he starts filling up his plate while keeping conversation with Ben.

  My eyes narrow. Really? I so much as look at Riley and Reed’s got a problem.

  Asshole.

  Luke and Ben go about filling up their plates too, and to keep myself from tossing Grayson off the deck, I do the same, scooping out helpings of sides and fixing up both of my burgers.

  The slider opens and closes behind me. Nolan runs outside and climbs into the chair at my right. And when Mia finally claims her seat at the table, sitting directly across from Ben, everyone starts eating.

  Conversation carries on between the group, minus me, while Grayson keeps hitting Riley up with questions. He’s interested in her. That’s for damn sure. Smiling. Keeping his arm on her chair instead of using two hands to eat.

  Who the fuck eats a burger with one hand? There’s something wrong with this kid.

  “Hey.” Luke nudges me with his elbow. He’s talking low.

  “What?” I grunt, not turning my head.

  “You might wanna ease up on that fork. I think it belonged to Mia’s mom or some shit.”

  I look down at the fork in my hand and notice my thumb pressing the handle into a bend.

  Shit.

  Dropping my hands to my lap, I straighten the silver so it’s no longer curved.

  “Relax,” Luke mumbles.

  “You relax,” I mumble back. I toss the fork next to my plate.

  Relax. Right. That’s not happening. Now I know how Reed felt last year when I was making a play for Beth in front of him at game night. He sat there looking ready to rip my head off. And I am right there watching this kid with Riley. This fucking sucks.

  Luke shakes his head before looking away and taking a pull of his beer.

  Like he wouldn’t shoot a motherfucker for even looking at Tessa. Fuck him.

  Riley laughs at something Grayson says, getting my attention again. She’s being friendly, that’s all she’s doing, I know that, but it still pisses me off.

  I glare at the two of them while I sit forward and shovel food into my mouth. Minutes pass. I don’t talk much, except to Nolan when he shows me the Legos he has in his pocket, wanting my opinion on the figurine he built. Other than that, I don’t engage. And when Riley eventually glances across the table at me, assessing my reaction to the shit I’m having to witness, the shit I’ve been having to witness, I don’t hide it from her. I keep my eyes hard and narrowed. If she’s expecting a smile and a thumbs up, she’s not getting one. Riley can know how much this is bothering me. I don’t care. What the fuck is she expecting me to do? Be okay with this?

  Her face burns hot seeing my reaction. Then she looks away, turning back to Grayson when he speaks.

  “Do you want to like, work in the OR? Have you decided what you want to do after you graduate?” he asks her.

  “She’s specializing in pediatrics,” I answer, voice firm and loud enough it cuts into the conversations going on around me.

  Riley’s head snaps in my direction. Her eyes flicker wider in surprise.

  Yeah, baby. I’m listening. And I fucking know you well enough to answer every goddamn question he’s asking.

  “Oh.” Grayson’s brows lift. “That’s really cool,” he tells her.

  “I didn’t know that,” Reed throws out, leaning forward to look at Riley. “When did you decide?”

  “Just recently,” Riley answers. “I hadn’t really told anyone yet.”

  “You told me,” I say, smirking when I get her eyes.

  Riley’s blush creeps down to her neck. Beth quietly congratulates her while Riley drinks the rest of her water.

  Grayson gets to his feet. “Do you want another?” he asks, pointing to her bottle. “I’ll grab you one.”

  “Sit down,” I growl.

  Everyone goes fucking quiet. Even Nolan, who’s been talking to himself while he walks his Lego knight around his plate, and Chase, who babb
les constant nonsense. Nobody speaks. I feel ten sets of eyes on me but I’m only focusing on one. Riley looks like she might pass out—the color drains from her face. She knows I’m pissed.

  As for everyone else, if it wasn’t already obvious I got a problem watching someone hit on Riley, it’s obvious now. I’m pretty sure Chase is even aware.

  And you know what? Oh fucking well.

  I shove my chair back and stand as Grayson slowly lowers himself into his seat, blinking at me. “I’ll get it. I’m getting up anyway,” I explain, snatching up my plate and empty beer bottle. I carry them with me inside, disposing of them in the trash and recycling bins underneath the kitchen counter.

  Do I feel bad for exploding like that? Not one fucking bit. They’re lucky it didn’t happen sooner.

  Lifting my head after closing the cabinet door, I look out the window above the sink.

  Everyone is back to talking and eating, except Riley. She’s picking at her burger bun and looking down at her plate.

  Do I feel bad now? Yeah, okay. Maybe.

  Grayson leans forward to look at her. He tucks her hair behind her ear to see her face.

  “Motherfucker,” I snarl, lips curling against my teeth.

  I do that. I tuck Riley’s hair behind her ear. I throw my arm behind her and talk real close and make her laugh. Not this guy. Not anyone else.

  Me.

  Fuck feeling bad and fuck this.

  I spin around and prowl to the fridge, nearly ripping the door off the hinges I throw it open so hard.

  I’m getting back out there and taking that seat. I don’t give a fuck. Let Reed say something to me, I will straight up knock his ass out. He hasn’t said shit to Grayson about being all over my girl and he’s on the verge of fucking proposing.

  I grab another bottled water for Riley and a beer I see hiding behind the milk for me. Might as well. I’m going to need it. When I turn to head back outside, the slider opens and Riley steps through it.

  She closes the glass door and stares at me from where she’s standing on the other side of the counter, telling me she’s sorry with her eyes and her frowning lips, but she’s saying something else too. I know that look. Goddamn, I know it. That heat in her eyes, blue flames burning `cause she needs me and doesn’t care where we’re at right now or who could possibly catch us.

  Her chest starts heaving.

  Mine goes fucking tight.

  Riley doesn’t say a word before she starts moving. She takes off down the hallway, sneakers smacking against the wood, and as soon as I set the bottles down on the counter, I’m following close behind. I don’t even look to see if anyone’s coming in the house. I don’t care.

  We climb the stairs. I don’t know where the fuck she’s taking us. I’ve never been up here. I’m letting Riley lead.

  She stops at the first door she comes to when she’s finished climbing, puts her hand on the knob and glances back at me—for encouragement, for me to stop her, I don’t know. If Riley’s expecting me to be the one to have sense in this situation, she’s shit out of luck. I want her. All the time and right now, so fucking bad. I’ll take her right here if she doesn’t get us somewhere private.

  Reading that on my face or deciding for herself, Riley twists the knob and steps inside.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispers when I grab her face and kiss her hard. I kick the door closed and slam her against it. She gasps and moans, purring deep in her throat. Her leg curls around the back of my thigh. “CJ . . .”

  “I don’t want him touching you,” I growl. Riley starts whimpering I know I know I know. She’s breathless. “I don’t want him looking at you, thinking he has a chance. Thinking you’re fucking his to take.” I shove my tongue inside her mouth, slant her head with my hand and kiss her deeper. “I can’t sit there anymore and act like I don’t give a shit. I can’t. You’re mine, Riley. You’re fucking mine. He needs to know that. I want him knowing, you hear me?”

  “Yes . . . yes,” she pants.

  My other hand works frantically between us while Riley kisses the shit out of me—sucking on my tongue, my lips. Biting. Licking. Acting like she’s never been this turned on before and just hearing me say she’s mine is getting her there. I undo my shorts and free my cock. Her hand slides down my stomach and wraps around me, squeezing hard. We both groan.

  “Fuck.”

  “CJ . . .”

  “Are we doing this?” I ask while I pop the button on her shorts, while I shove them down her legs and pull them past her Chucks. I don’t give her time to answer and she doesn’t ask for it. Riley jumps up, hitches her legs around my hips, grabs hold of my neck with one hand and pulls her panties to the side with the other, slanting her pelvis to take me.

  “Yes,” she whispers, nodding quickly. “Please, do it. Please now please . . .”

  I stare at her begging lips and those big blue eyes and fuck, I can smell her. How wet she is. How much she’s wanting me. Wanting this to happen, right here and now, where anyone can find us.

  I forget about consequences—getting caught. Reed finding out. This shit exploding in our faces. I forget about the condom I have inside my wallet or the fact that we haven’t even bothered to lock the door. I only feel—Riley’s nails digging into my neck and her legs tightening, drawing me closer. The precum beading up on my dick. I don’t think. I don’t fight this.

  I grip her ass, hoist her up higher on the door and push in, groaning as her tight walls grip me.

  “I’m bare,” I tell her, kissing her hard. Growling. Jesus fucking Christ. “Fuck, Riley, if you don’t want this . . .”

  She moans when I bottom out, loud enough I have to cover her mouth with my hand to keep anyone else from hearing her.

  “Baby.” I lean back to get my answer. I need to know . . .

  Eyes wide, she looks at me, nodding frantically while her breaths burst hot against my palm. “Please,” she mumbles. “I want this with you. Fuck me, Cannon.”

  Pure adrenaline slams into me. My name, goddamn, when she says it . . . If there was anything stopping me from continuing on with this, one shred of sanity or clear thinking, that shit just went right out the window.

  I cup her ass harder and drop my head beside hers, keeping my hand on her mouth. “I want to be all over you, darlin’,” I say, sliding my cock through her pussy, in and out. Tiny thrusts that drive her wild. She gasps in tempo. “I want you fucking smelling like me when you go back outside. He wants to lean close to you, I want him knowing I’ve been here.”

  Riley whimpers against my hand.

  I thrust up harder, steadily pounding into her. Her pussy is so wet I can hear it and feel it dripping onto my balls. “I want everyone knowing what we were doing,” I rasp, pressing my lips to her cheek. “What we have. What you’re giving me. `Cause you’re giving it, baby, aren’t you? You’re giving me this sweet pussy to come in.”

  “Yes,” she moans, eyes pinching shut. Nostrils flaring with her breaths.

  Heat spreads underneath my ribcage. Hearing Riley tell me she wants me to fill her with my cum, Jesus, I’ve never . . . I can’t hold back.

  Muscles flexing, I buck into her like a wild animal, slamming her ass and the back of my hand against the door. Thwap. Thwap. Thwap. I’m grunting. Sweat beads up on my brow. My face is buried in her neck and I’m telling Riley how good she feels, how much I want her. Need her. “So much, baby. So fucking much.” And she’s crying out and whimpering and panting against my palm. Her heels digging into the back of my thighs and her nails cutting deeper, deeper, deeper. So deep.

  “Fuck,” I pant. My legs burning. “Riley, I need to come . . .”

  She moans and starts tightening around me, as if she was waiting this whole time, waiting for me. Her eyes roll closed. Her pleasure moves through her. I feel her lips open against my palm and then . . .

  The doorknob rattles and something pushes against it, but with our weight pressing in, it won’t open.

  “Hey,” a little voice mutters.
>
  Nolan.

  I lift my head and turn it, gaging the room we’re in for the first time since we stepped inside. Dragon posters cover the wall. There’s toys on the nightstand. A twin-sized bed . . .

  Jesus Christ. We’re in his fucking bedroom.

  Riley squeaks as her body tightens up. Her eyes flash open and meet mine in panic but she’s coming, she can’t stop it. Nolan’s calling out for Mia and rattling the knob and Riley’s crying out against my hand, saying my name and soaking my dick.

  I gasp and slam her body against the door. Pleasure grips onto me like a vise, and I thrust two, three times before I’m groaning into Riley’s neck and coming deep inside her.

  We’re both panting, her against my palm and me into the soft skin of her shoulder. Chests heaving and hearts racing and mine, fuck, mine holding so much love for this girl. More than I’ve ever felt. More than it’s held for anyone.

  I am so goddamned fucked.

  “Oh, my God,” Riley whispers when I slide my hand off her mouth and onto her cheek. She doesn’t say it out of worry. She doesn’t say it out of panic, either. Her limbs are still wrapped softly around me. Her fingers are feathering through my hair, not pulling. She’s not tense. She loves what we just did. “CJ . . .” her voice cuts with a gasp and her body jars against mine when the door tries to open.

  “Mommy! My door is stuck!” Nolan yells. “I can’t get to my stuff!”

  “Shit,” I growl under my breath. I blindly find the lock on the doorknob and secure it before setting Riley on her feet. “What do you want to do? What are we saying?” I ask her as I tug up my boxers and shorts.

  The doorknob rattles again.

  “What the crap!” Nolan whines. “Mommy!”

  Riley bends down and steps into her shorts. “I don’t know,” she whispers. “Um . . . maybe one of us hides?”

  My brow furrows. “What? I’m not hiding. What if Ben finds me? I don’t want to be caught hiding out in his kid’s room. That’s fucking weird.”

  “Well, what if Reed comes up here to help Nolan?” Riley asks. She buttons her shorts, looks to the door and lets her hand fall heavy against her thigh while the other grips the back of her neck. “Crap! What are we going to do?” she whispers.