Carbon Life

by HR Ringer

  Traynor had snacked a bit before coming to meet with the captain and XO, enough so the edge had been knocked from her appetite, but she was still quite hungry, so loaded her plate and commenced to tell the pair of her adventures on Cartagena Station as she enjoyed the food and wine.

  Just as she reached the part concerning the pirate she’d hung from the ceiling of the interrogation room, they were joined by Griffen Buchanan. Having had his many injuries treated by Doctor Jakira T'Lana, he had cleaned up and changed clothes. Captain T’Lori poured him a glass of Elasa and had him sit next to Traynor, who continued her tale, with additional input from Griff.

  It didn’t go unnoticed by XO Shoni that Sammy had, whether by accident due to the interruption caused by Griff’s arrival or on purpose for whatever reason, apparently left out most of the details concerning her elimination of the batarian pirate. Looking at Sammy’s face as she told her story, Traeria felt sure the specialist was keeping something to herself concerning that particular batarian’s death. Surreptitiously studying the human over the rim of her glass as she sipped Elasa, she thought, ‘That one is hiding something… something that troubles her… is eating at her soul. I must find out what the conflict is… she needs to release what she’s keeping hidden.’

  As Sammy’s narrative reached the final fight with the batarian dock workers, Griff took up the telling of the tale, describing Sammy’s hand-to-hand abilities in glowing terms to their asari hosts. Traynor fell silent, content to allow Buchanan to sing her praises. Both asari were impressed with Buchanan’s account, asking for clarification and retelling here and there, as they looked at Traynor with open admiration, comparing her to the best of the Ionsaí’s commandos.

  When they had finished eating, Captain T’Lori had staff bring in and serve Kaffe to everyone, after which Sammy and Griff left to return to their own quarters – Sammy left the figurine in the care of the Ionsaí’s captain, having no desire to be in charge of such a priceless artifact. As the humans left, T’Lori slowly, almost reverently, placed the figurine in the small pack Sammy had brought with her. “This will go in the ship’s valuables locker under our thumbprints and iris scans. I do not want knowledge of this to get out… it is too valuable, and cost much to retrieve.”

  XO Shoni agreed. “That cost very well may have been too much for one person in particular, Captain. Samantha Traynor has not told us all that transpired, for reasons that I suspect are tied to her relationship with Ms Yuán. I hope to talk to her again before we reach the home world.”

  Agana looked at her XO with a raised brow marking. “If she needs anything, please let me know, Traeria. That young human has seen… and caused, by her own admission, a lot of death, close up and personal, just as our commandos see it. By asari standards, she is only a child. I would not want her experiences on our behalf to cause her mental harm.”

  “Soon as I learn something, I will inform you, Captain.”

  * * *

  Samantha Traynor had been growing increasingly moody as Xiùlán continued to recover from injuries received during their mission on Cartagena Station; Sammy had taken to spending most of her free time sitting in a massive reclining chair located in the Ionsaí’s observation lounge. Staring out the massive viewport at the passing stars, the vastness of interstellar space only served to sour her mood further.

  She kept thinking about what she had done to the batarian pirate responsible for the polonium-coated hammerhead round buried in Xiùlán’s left thigh… her lover curled on the deck in a near fetal position… the nearly invisible bastard wearing Griff’s shield generator, standing over Xiùlán with heavy pistol still in hand, gloating at the helpless female writhing in agony on the cold steel deck aboard a batarian-run space station.

  She had launched herself at the center of mass in the middle of the shimmering distortion, knocking him onto his back, thumbs gouging out a pair of eyes as she repeatedly bashed his head against the metal floor. Once she had Xiùlán and Griff safe in a nearby supply compartment, she had gone back out to deal with the threat this batarian now posed to the three of them.

  In her mind, she could easily justify killing him, as had been necessary when she’d killed a dozen or more of his kind later while attempting to get a rescue shuttle on its way to pluck them off the station. What she was now having trouble with was the memories of how she had taken his life… this one pirate’s death. It had been nearly ten minutes, dying by her hands… six minutes of downright torment with a bullet shattered left thigh; the coup de grâce had been an omni-blade up into his lungs and diaphragm, leading to a painfully slow death by suffocation.

  She did not feel the tears that seeped from her eyes to coalesce into a pair of rivulets running down her cheeks, nor did she hear ship’s XO Traeria Shoni enter and take a seat in the recliner next to her. “You appear to be rather upset, Ms Traynor,” Shoni quietly observed. “Is there anything you would care to share with me?”

  Traynor roughly wiped her face with both hands as she turned away from the perceptive asari. “Just… thinking about my actions on that space station.” She added with a sniffle, “I lost track of the number of batarians I had to kill to retrieve the artifact and get us off that station.”

  “Yet that is not what truly bothers you, is it?”

  Sam replied, “You are quite observant, Traeria,” before lapsing into silence.

  The asari could see that she would need to prompt the human a bit more if she wished to hear the entire truth of the matter. “Talk to me, Ms Traynor. I am entirely ready to listen to whatever you have to say.” At a quick, unhappy glance from the human, she quickly added, “I will not judge you, and your words will not leave this compartment… I swear it by the Goddess.”

  Traynor drew a long, shuddering breath as she thought about what to say. After a pause marked only by the whisper of airflow from the HAVC and the muted noise of distant equipment, Traynor cleared her throat and whispered, “The batarian I told you of… the one that shot Xiùlán? I had to kill ‘im, and I did it in the most pain-filled, torturous way I could think of.”

  The asari nodded her head as Traynor started speaking, then cocked it slightly to one side as she opened one silver and copper-flecked eye wide in a questioning look. “Go on, Samantha. What did you do?”

  Speaking slowly, as if recalling a nightmare, she replied in a voice filled with pain. “After hanging ‘im by his wrists from a ceiling hook – which is what they’d done to Buchanan – I toyed with ‘im, Traeria… kicked ‘im in ‘is crotch, once… then again… hard as I was able. His attitude was…” she looked down at herself as she brought trembling hands up to cover her breasts, “… he kept staring at my chest, even went so far as to say I might enjoy being the recipient of his mating urge.”

  “He suggested he’d like to have intercourse with you?”

  “Yeah… putting it bluntly, he said he wanted to fuck me, to…”

  Traynor went silent again as a fresh bout of tears began trickling down her cheeks; she pulled her lower legs into the chair and wrapped her arms around them as she rested her head on her upraised knees. Without any prompting from Shoni, Sam tilted her head to look at the asari and asked, “Are you familiar with the human term for forced intercourse?”

  “I don’t believe so,” came the quiet reply.

  “I don’t know what the batarian word is, but on my world that word is rape. It’s virtually always done by males to females, for many reasons, most of which do not have anything to do with ‘having sex’. It’s mostly done as a way to proclaim domination, or control, or punishment.” Traynor sighed as she wiped her face. “I was raped when I was in college, back on Earth… I won’t go into the details, except to say I will never allow it to happen to me again. And that batarian? His attitude really pissed me off!”

  Traeria didn’t say anything… simply waited for Traynor to continue.

  “Before I shot him in the left thigh as payback for what he did to Xiùlán… I scared the living ‘ell outa mysel
f… saw a darker side of me I never would have believed existed.” Traynor’s face twisted with disgust as she continued, “I wanted to… I felt a need… to use my blades… to slice him into tiny pieces for what he did to Xiùlán. I went so far as to drag the point of one of my knives across his chest and down to his side… leaving a blood trail in its wake. I had the point pressed hard against his side, Traeria! I had every intention of opening ‘im up on both sides and making soup of his organs. I was poised and ready… it would have been so easy, to press my blade just a bit harder. All I needed was that one… final… push.”

  The distraught woman abruptly stood, paced back and forth in front of the massive viewport for a few moments before stopping to stand with feet apart, forehead against the spotless clear panel. “But I couldn’t bring myself to do it! I could not become that merciless killer, Traeria.” Sammy paused to rein in her emotions. “I don’t want to become an assassin with no conscience… such that I’ll stop at nothing to make a point or gain revenge. As it was, I caused him even more pain when I shoved an omni-blade up into his chest.” Traynor turned her head to look at the asari over her shoulder. “I came so close, Traeria… so damn close to simply torturing him to death! What kind of person am I that I can harbor such thoughts?” Traynor shuddered at the memories, still raw after being rescued by commandos from the Ionsaí.

  “I haven’t told Xiùlán. She needs to be further along her own path to being healed. I need to hold her when I tell her of the method I almost chose to end the life of the person that shot her in the leg.” Traynor gulped and swallowed. “And I’m afraid to tell her, Traeria… I’m afraid she’ll think me a monster and won’t… she won’t wish to be with me… any longer.” Voice hitching in sorrow, she cried, “I don’t know how she’ll be able to forgive me… ‘cause I don’t think I can ever forgive myself!”

  Traeria rose from her chair to stand behind Sammy. With hands on the distraught woman’s shoulders, the asari spoke softly in her ear. “But you did not take that path, did you? You pulled yourself from the edge and refused to let evil take control of you. That person – the one who does not wish to do evil – is who you are… and is the person Xiùlán is in love with. Perhaps, since in the end you made the correct choice and did not torture this batarian who did such harm to your loved one, you are being too hard on yourself. Looking back, if everything could again be as it was, would you make the same decision once more… travel down that same path?”

  “I could not torture someone to death, Traeria.” Samantha surprised XO Shoni by turning to face her; tears running down her cheeks, she coughed and stammered out, “I’ll confess my actions to Xiùlán… beg her to forgive my near total lack of control in that moment. She may not completely understand this aspect of my mind, but I do not believe she will abandon me… abandon what we have together.” Taking a shuddering breath, she wiped her face and thanked the asari before asking to be escorted back to her quarters.

  Sam had calmed down considerably by the time Traeria stopped outside Traynor’s quarters. Sam opened the hatch, then turned and threw her arms around the asari, hugging her tightly.

  Initially taken aback by Traynor’s actions, Traeria brought her own arms up and embraced the human, returning the hug. “I do not know what I did to deserve such from you, Specialist, but thank you.”

  Traynor, chin on Traeria’s shoulder, pulled back slightly and kissed a blue cheek. “No, thank you… for caring, Traeria. It means more to me than I can say.” With that, Traynor released the asari and walked slowly into her compartment, leaving Traeria in the passageway, disbelieving about what had just happened, even as she touched her cheek in wonder.

  * * *

  Chapter 27: Thessian Rhapsody

  When she lowers her eyes she seems to hold all the beauty in the world between her eyelids; when she raises them I see only myself in her gaze. – Natalie Clifford Barney

  * * *

  Inamorata – A woman with whom one is in love; a female lover (Italian)

  Wǒ ài nǐ – Hanyu Pinyin (Mandarin) for I love you[我愛你]

  * * *

  * ASARI CORVETTE IONSAÍ – EN ROUTE TO THESSIA *

  Doctor Jakira T'Lana smiled as she turned off the dermal generator and repositioned the application head towards the ceiling. “I don’t think you’ll even have a scar to show for your time on that station, Serviceman Traynor. Not much more than a scratch, really – not deep in the tissue. It would appear the Goddess was smiling upon you.”

  There was a touch of sadness behind Sam’s smile as she replied, “It was little enough to endure compared to Xiùlán’s suffering. I would have traded places with her in a heartbeat if it had been possible.”

  “I believe your friend will recover just fine, Serviceman. Your first aid was exemplary… made all the difference in her survival and in our ability to save her from an amputation.” The doctor’s hand came up, gently gripped Sam’s jaw and turned her head slightly as she inspected the skin on her cheek. “Physical scars are relatively easy to fix… mental scars, not so much. XO Shoni tells me you’re carrying a great deal of guilt about what happened to Ms Yuán.”

  Traynor closed her eyes for a moment before focusing on those of Dr T’Lana. “I nearly turned into a soulless assassin… it’s something I need to reconcile with Xiùlán, when she’s better… when I can hold her as I tell her. I just hope she’ll forgive me.” Traynor looked away for several moments, then changed the subject, asking, “The scar on Buchanan’s face… it appears to be greatly diminished. Will you be able to completely eliminate it?”

  “No… the knife wound was completely healed, meaning the skin on either side had stretched slightly to accommodate the scar tissue. I can make the scar less noticeable, maybe even to the point it will be difficult to see unless the lighting is just right, but the trace will always be with him, I’m afraid.”

  Traynor chuckled. “Somehow, I don’t think he’ll be bothered by that.” Standing from the exam chair, Traynor said, “Thanks, Doctor T’Lana. I appreciate you taking the time.”

  “You’re welcome, Serviceman Traynor. Go with the Goddess.”

  * * *

  * PRESIDIUM – ASARI COUNCILOR’S CHAMBERS · 0255 LOCAL *

  Councilor Raesia Tevos had been sleeping quite soundly, which made her more than a bit aggravated at the sudden activation of the comms unit; an incoming call lit up the monitor as the low volume trilling from the device gradually became louder.

  Sitting up in her bed, she quickly pulled on and fastened a dressing gown before standing and moving to the small desk on which the device was sitting. Applying her index finger to the DNA scanner to unlock the terminal, she made an effort to school her expression while attempting to put a name to the face looking back at her from the screen. “This is Councilor Tevos. What may I do for you at this early hour?” – The implication in her statement that whatever it was, it could have waited a few more hours.

  “Councilor, I’m Agana T’Lori, captain of the Ionsaí, the corvette assigned as the support vessel for three operatives. Please accept my sincere apologies for disturbing your rest in the middle of the night; as I am unable to guarantee the security of this connection, I can only speak in generalities. We are currently en route to Thessia to deliver an object only recently recovered from a person or persons unknown. My orders were to inform you of this as soon as I could do so without drawing undue attention.”

  Understanding dawned on Tevos at the mention of the three; if the Ionsaí was heading to the home world with a recovered object, the mission had been mostly successful. As Tevos considered the numerous possibilities, she could only hope it had not come at too high a price and hesitantly questioned, “What of the three operatives, Captain T’Lori? Are they well?”

  T’Lori did not answer immediately, perhaps attempting to formulate words that would convey the serious nature of injuries to the team. “All live, though two were injured, one seriously so.”

  Tevos sat back in her chair, thinkin
g before replying. ‘It would seem the human operatives had succeeded in their mission where no one else could. The ‘object’, undoubtedly the figurine stolen by the batarian pirate and sold to the Blue Suns, was on its way to Thessia. That the humans were being taken there as well spoke to how severely the one must have been injured – standard procedure would have been to meet with and transfer the injured party to an Alliance vessel for treatment.’ "Just how serious is this injury, that you would take her to Serrice rather than immediately return them all to the Alliance, Captain?"

  "Extremely, Councilor." Agana's expression was grave as she continued, "I realize we provided the humans with numerous medical capability upgrades as part of our initial negotiations when we accepted them as Council allies, but our hospital facilities simply remain light-years ahead of theirs. If we return Operative Yuán to the Alliance, they will most likely take her leg; they will give her an artificial limb or she will end up a cripple. We, however, are capable of saving her real one... and I strongly believe we owe her that outcome for the tremendous service she has provided to the Asari people."

  Tevos smiled at the vehemence with which the captain spoke. "This human woman has earned your respect, has she not?"

  "That obvious, is it?" Agana chuckled quietly before continuing, "Yes, Councilor, she has; they all have. They are warriors as worthy of the designation Huntress Infiltrator as any I have ever seen, even without considering their lack of biotic ability."

  Tevos' brow rose in surprise. "That is high praise, indeed, Captain." She didn't need to think about the decision, issuing her response without pause. "Proceed with your plan and feel free to invoke my authority to guarantee Operative Yuán receives the necessary treatments, as well as ensuring her compatriots are made comfortable for the duration of their stay. Thank you for the information and please... update me once you arrive on the home world and everything is successfully placed into motion, Agana.” She smiled and nodded as she terminated the connection, rose from her chair and walked to the balcony.