Loving Rowan

by Ariadne Wayne

  “If ‘that girl’ is Rowan, it has nothing to do with me. Entirely Dad. Maybe he’s realised she’s a lot more capable than you’ve allowed her to demonstrate so far.”

  “I didn’t need help for this project, let alone from a girl,” he growled. I was pretty sure the throbbing vein on his forehead was going to pop as he spewed his venom.

  “Oh, is that what your problem is? A newly graduated young woman is smarter than you are?” I put on the most innocent face I could as he stormed off. I laughed as he disappeared around the corner. Dad must have really upset him for him to be so open in his disdain for Rowan.

  That answered that question, though. He must have not been happy with Dad’s hiring decision. She’d done the work he couldn’t do, and he wanted rid of her. Dad’s decision had thrown him enough to lose the plot. Good job, he deserved it.

  If anything I had a bigger smile on my face when I delivered Rowan’s coffee. She looked up, raising an eyebrow at me. “What’s going on?”

  “Why do you ask?”

  “Because you look like the cat that got the cream. What are you up to?”

  “Nothing, pretty lady. Just love you heaps, that’s all.”

  She grinned, shaking her head. “I guess I can let you have that one.”

  ~

  She leaned cross-legged against the doorframe, and I was so focused on what I was doing, I didn’t notice her at first.

  “Ahem.” She cleared her throat, grinning as I looked up.

  “Hey. What’s up?”

  “So I need an excuse to come and visit you now?”

  I laughed. “Come here, and I’ll show you how happy I am to see you.

  She crossed the room, and I turned back from my desk as she straddled my legs to sit facing me.

  “You are very forward today, Miss Taylor,” I said, pulling her down for a kiss.

  When we broke apart, her eyes were closed, her face showing the simple peace we both felt being together.

  “I finished my report for your father. Just delivered it. Three days of constant work has driven me a bit crazy, but I’m free now.

  I hugged her tight. “Well done.”

  She shrugged. “I voiced my concerns about a few things. Ross hasn’t screwed up too much yet, but I do worry that he will.”

  “It is what it is, sweetheart. If you ask me, he’s jealous of you. Young and talented. You’re destined for bigger things, Rowan, and he’s stuck in his ways.”

  She clung on round my neck, and I closed my eyes, just breathing her in. We’d not had many chances for intimate moments since we’d gotten back, and this wasn’t the time or the place, but I didn’t know if I cared.

  “Do you want to come to my place tonight?” she said, leaning back again.

  “I would love to. As long as you’re not going to fall asleep on me.”

  Rowan shook her head. “I worked hard to get the report done so we could relax together. I’ll cook dinner, and we might even open a bottle of wine. Though you’ll have to sort that bit out, as I know nothing about it.”

  I laughed. “I think I can manage that.”

  She bent her head for another kiss before leaping from my lap.

  “Oh, you mean I don’t have to work all afternoon with you sitting there? I was kind of enjoying the view.”

  Rowan smiled shyly, rocking side to side. “Maybe you can have more of a view tonight.”

  I cocked an eyebrow at her words. “I look forward to it. Have a good afternoon.”

  ~

  She was a great cook, just like her mother, and I pictured her learning to cook in that big, old, kitchen. Her only frustration was using dry pasta to make her spaghetti dish. Apparently her mother made her own. That didn’t lessen the taste, and the food was infused with basil and oregano, smelling great and tasting amazing.

  “You can cook for me any time,” I said, laughing.

  “Happy to,” she said proudly.

  I reached across the table, grabbing her hand in mine and squeezing. “This is perfect. I love you.”

  “I love you too. Sorry I’ve been so busy.”

  I laughed. “I know how focused you can get, and I knew once you were finished, you’d be all mine.”

  She smiled. “I am.”

  When we’d finished eating, she cleared the plates. I could hear water running from the kitchen. I moved behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “Washing the dishes.”

  I kissed her neck, and she sighed, her body relaxing against mine.

  “I just want the kitchen to be tidy,” she grumbled.

  “Plenty of time to do that. I want you on the couch with me. We can snuggle while watching TV and see where it leads us.”

  Her breathing grew heavier as she leaned back against me.

  “Rowan,” I whispered, pulling at her waist until she turned and looked at me. Eye to eye, we looked at each other for a moment, before I leaned forward, grazing her lips with mine.

  She nodded, leaving the dishes in the sink and following me into the living room and sitting on the couch. I picked up the remote, flicking through the channels until I found a movie that looked good. Not that we were really going to watch it.

  I leaned back, pulling her into my arms and lifting her chin with my finger to look into her eyes. What she couldn’t say with words, I could see in her face. I kissed her, finding her tongue with mine, her body relaxing as our kiss grew more intense.

  Laughing softly, I moved to rest my head on the arm of the couch, beckoning her to lie beside me. She pounced, grinning as she snuggled in.

  Squeezed together on the couch, this was it, finally she was all mine. I would take her to bed and make her forget anyone else she’d ever looked at sideways. We would be everything to each other, and I would explore that gorgeous body of hers so slowly, she would moan at the thought of my touch.

  Her eyes lit up when I stroked the hard nipple through the fabric.

  “Kyle,” she whispered, but didn’t move my hand away.

  I grinned. “It’s okay, baby. We’ll go as slow or as fast as you want.”

  “Slow,” she whispered, rolling on top of me, grinding her pelvis against mine. I was so damn hard, it was a miracle my pants were still in one piece.

  “Anything you want.” I kissed her, tasting her tongue. Her body pressed hard against mine, I wanted to savour every inch. Her neck tasted just as good, and she moaned, running her hands down my back as I took tiny nips of her skin.

  “God, I want you so bad. Always did,” I murmured.

  I felt her jump as the phone rang beside us. “You have got to be kidding me.” I laughed, kissing her on the nose.

  A moment of indecision crossed her face. “Rowan, if you need to answer it, just do it. I’m not going anywhere.”

  She smiled, reaching for the phone. “Sorry. No one ever calls. It might be important.”

  I nuzzled her neck as she rolled off me to answer, before I sat up to watch her.

  “Hi, Mum.” She rolled her eyes at me, waving her hand as if trying to speed up the conversation. I went back to her neck, planting kisses up toward her ear as I tried my best to distract her.

  She gasped, and I sat back up again. She shook, tears welling in her eyes, and her mouth hung open as she sat in silence, listening to whatever her mother was saying.

  “Rowan?”

  “I can’t believe it,” she said into the phone. “Not Charlie.”

  Now I was worried. Something had happened.

  “I’ll be okay. Kyle’s with me. Thanks, Mum.” Her voice shook. She hung up and just stared at the phone.

  “Rowan? What’s wrong? What’s happened?”

  She looked up at me, her eyes filled with tears. They ran down her face, leaving a trail behind them. I just wanted to kiss them away, but first I needed to know what was causing them.

  “Charlie’s dead.” She struggled for breath as she sobbed the words out.

 
“What?”

  “She … she had an asthma attack. A big one. It had been so long. Mum said they got her to the hospital, but it was too late.”

  I ran my fingers through my hair. This was unbelievable.

  “Shit. Oh, sweetheart, come here.”

  She threw her arms around my neck, clinging to me as she sobbed. I held her as tight as I could, stroking her hair as she let it all out. My poor girl; she had already been through so much and now, as she had come out the other side and found happiness with me, she was back in that hole she had dug herself out of.

  If I knew her at all, I knew she’d feel guilty at being envious of Charlie, at falling out with her, at feeling left out at the wedding. None of that was fair because they hadn’t been fair to her. The trick was making her see that.

  We sat, entangled in each other until she fell asleep in my arms. Tonight had been the night we were going to make love for the first time. Instead, I carried my devastated girlfriend to bed, where I placed her gently between the sheets before stripping down and climbing in beside her.

  When I put my arm over her, she nestled into me. She snuggled up so close, and all I wanted to do was kiss her and take her pain away. I watched her sleep until I was too tired to keep my eyes open. This was going to be tough to get through, but whatever she needed from me, it was hers.

  ~

  In the morning, she was still asleep when I woke, and I traced a pattern through her freckles until her eyes flickered open. She smiled at me, still half-asleep. “Good morning,” she murmured.

  “Good morning.” I kissed her tenderly, and she wrapped her leg around mine, pulling me towards her.

  I laughed, raising an eyebrow. “What are you up to?”

  “You’re warm.”

  Her face changed as the memory of the night before hit, and I could see the grief in her eyes as she lay there, just looking at me.

  “It really happened, didn’t it?”

  I nodded. “It did, sweetheart.”

  “I just can’t imagine a world without Charlie in it. And on their honeymoon. Andrew must be devastated.”

  I put my palm to her cheek. “I’m sure he is. Come here.”

  She moved into my arms, and I kissed her deeply, her hand stroking my hair.

  “I’m glad you’re here,” she whispered, kissing my chest.

  “I wouldn’t be anywhere else right now. Rowan, whatever you need, I’m here.”

  She looked up at me. Her eyes were so sad and I just wanted to kiss the pain away. “I just need you.”

  And then she began to cry again.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Rowan

  I felt empty. Like there was nothing left to feel inside; I’d used up all my emotions and had nothing left to give. My life had gone from this joyous discovery that Kyle loved me, and that we were going to be happy, to the depths of depression as my heart broke with Charlie’s death.

  Poor Kyle. We were so close to making love for the first time, and that phone call had changed everything. But how could it not?

  My Charlie was dead.

  The time I’d spent with her before the wedding meant all the more to me now. We had renewed our friendship, even if I’d felt left out at the event itself. She cared enough to ask me my opinion when it mattered to her, and now she would never be able to return the favour.

  I was lost in a sea of grief, and the only person who truly understood was Andrew. He was as broken-hearted as I was, and we started spending time together as we both recovered from our terrible loss.

  Kyle stood by me through the funeral. He held me when I cried, and loved me, even though there was more distance between us than there was when we’d first met. This was as hard on him as it was on me, and our relationship came to a grinding halt rather than advancing as it had been.

  We would get through this together. Despite everything, our love had grown all this time, and was solid enough that nothing could shake it.

  Kyle was so sweet and understanding as I spent more time with Andrew, helping him adjust to a life without Charlie.

  But that had to end; Andrew had to take care of himself. I had my own life to get on with.

  ~

  Three weeks had passed since Charlie had died, and I still couldn’t reconcile my thoughts. We’d had our ups and downs, but I still loved her. In the end, I always would.

  Being busy at work helped keep my mind off things, but when I got home, I’d wallow in self-pity, or go and see Andrew, who was suffering so much.

  Kyle and I would catch up over coffee in the mornings, and he brought the only sunshine into my life. His frustration was obvious, and I was painfully aware there had to be an end to his patience, but I was in such a black hole, the other side was to hard to see. I had to shake it off somehow, and yet it was just so hard. Dad always said I felt everything so deeply, and this was the most difficult thing I’d ever been through.

  When Kyle didn’t turn up for coffee, I went looking for him. He was so punctual, so attentive, it worried me that he hadn’t come.

  He sat in the lunch room, laughing at something that Angela, the hot sales rep, had said. I watched as she sat across the table, flicking her hair through her hands as she flirted with my boyfriend. A searing hot pain stabbed my chest, as I watched. What if he was no better than any other man? My heart in torment, I wanted to run away, but something kept me there, mesmerised as this beautiful woman teased and joked with the man I was in love with.

  Turning away, I took a deep breath. I want to go back to my office to cry. That’s how I would have handled it before Kyle, but now? I exhaled, closing my eyes and summoning the courage to enter the room. He was worth fighting for; we were worth it.

  He turned as I came in the door, and the smile in his eyes told me everything I needed to know. I was panicking over nothing.

  “Hey, beautiful,” he said, his entire focus on me. Angela stopped mid-sentence, staring at me with such disdain that my torment turned to satisfaction. He was mine.

  “I went to make our coffee, but the machine needed to do its cleaning cycle first. It’s just about finished.” He reached for me, pulling me towards him and wrapping his arms around my waist. My heart pounded as I bent to kiss him.

  “What have you been doing this morning?” he asked.

  “Taking a look at an update for the new system. I’ll be putting it in place after everyone goes home,” I said.

  He grinned. “We can talk tonight. I’ll make dinner if you want to sample my cooking. I hear it’s pretty good.”

  “Let’s get coffee and go back to my office.”

  “Anything you want.” His eyes were fixed on me as if I were the only person in the room. Angela sat, forgotten on the other side of the table, and just looked awkward, as if she were interrupting something.

  I carried the coffee back to my office, placing it on the desk so I could hug Kyle. In his arms, I felt safe, all my earlier fears gone as his love was on display, right in front of me.

  “I’ve missed you,” he whispered. “Meeting for coffee isn’t enough.”

  “I know. The past few weeks have been so tough, but I’m not going to make myself better by neglecting you. Not when I love you so much,” I said, squeezing him tight.

  “I just needed to hear those words.” He smelled so good, that musky scent of his aftershave so familiar, I just wanted to lose myself in him. Now we could get back on track, and that would finally happen. It felt like we’d been waiting forever.

  “So, dinner tonight?” he asked.

  “Yes, but a bit later than normal dinnertime, if that’s okay. Once I get this update out of the way.”

  “You could show up at midnight and I’d be ready and waiting for you,” he said, laughing. “I just want us to get our shit together.”

  “I just want to get back to how we were. I never meant to neglect you.”

  Kyle lifted his hand to my face, stroking my cheek as I closed my eyes. “I love you, Rowan. More than I ever thought was po
ssible. Through everything, I know I can depend on you, that your heart belongs to me.”

  I nodded.

  “As mine belongs to you,” he whispered, lifting my face to kiss me. I opened my eyes to his. They were smiling, and telling stories of his love for me.

  No more words required.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Rowan

  I ended up working later than I’d expected, as everything went so slowly. I kept calling Kyle to update him, and he sounded more and more tired, but was so understanding.

  Finally, I got out just after 10pm, and raced to his place. He wasn’t answering his phone, and I assumed he’d left it somewhere random. It wouldn’t have been the first time. I knocked on the door, and when there was no answer, I unlocked it with the key he’d given me.

  He was fast asleep on the couch, snoring softly. I shook my head, smiling. He looked so comfortable, I couldn’t bear to wake him. I shook my head, remembering how I’d fallen asleep on the way home from the wedding. He’d taken care of me then, as I would take care of him now.

  I went to his bedroom, and grabbed a blanket from the bed. It smelled of him, and I held it up, inhaling his scent, and smiling as I placed it over his body.

  Maybe tonight hadn’t worked out how we’d planned, but there were plenty of other nights to come. Dinner was already in the refrigerator; it would keep until tomorrow when I made it up to him. I fished a pen out of my bag, found a napkin and wrote him a note to let him know I had shown up. For a moment, I tossed up whether to just hop in his bed, but I was tired and wanted to shower, not to mention that all my clean clothes were back at my apartment. At least it wasn’t far to go home.

  I hadn’t been home long when there was a knock on the door. I grinned, thinking of Kyle waking and reading the note. Maybe he couldn’t wait until the morning.