In the Middle of Nowhere

by Julie Ann Knudsen

  I was thinking that seven o’clock was early, even for my mom to be awake on a Saturday. Then I realized why. My mother had to get ready for Brian. I wondered what he told her and how he would convince her to stay away overnight.

  My mom never would have agreed to it in the past, but she was changing lately right before my eyes. James and I seemed less and less of a priority to her. Once again, I missed my dad, knowing he would never leave my brother or me alone for a day, let alone the whole night. My dad genuinely enjoyed being with us kids and it was so tragic that he couldn’t see us growing up, as he would have loved to. Or could he?

  I lay in bed, read a book and heard the doorbell ring promptly at nine o’clock. I heard my mother walk down the stairs, open the door and greet Brian.

  There was some muffled conversation before my mother exclaimed, “Oh, Brian! How could you?”

  My mother raced up the stairs and breezed into my room. She acted like a love-struck teenager walking on air. “Willow, I have a big favor to ask of you.”

  I lowered my book. “Yeah, it’s okay. Brian already asked me.” I forced my phoniest smile. “Have fun.”

  “I will. Thank you dear,” she said before she floated out of my room and back downstairs to her date. I wanted to gag, but quickly realized I hadn’t eaten a thing in forever. All of a sudden I was starving and decided to head downstairs in search of food once my mother’s knight in shining armor whisked her away from the castle for good.

  • • •

  I hung around the house and didn’t do much after my mother and Brian left. I finished a book I was reading and surfed MyWeb for quite a while. Mainly, I was preoccupied thinking about my meeting with Michael. I was both nervous and excited. I tried not to think about five o’clock, but found that the more I tried not to think about it, the more I did!

  After lunch, I took a shower and used my favorite shower gel. I conditioned my hair and was going to blow it dry and straighten it. I wanted to take my time and look my best. When I thought about it, I wondered why I cared so much about how I looked and realized it said a lot about how I really felt about Michael.

  I cranked up the music in my room, as I carefully applied my makeup; not too little, not too much. I wanted to look pretty and natural. My cell phone vibrated on the dresser next to me. I saw that it was Tessa and debated whether or not to pick up. I decided to answer it since I had deliberately avoided her all week long. It was the weekend and I was feeling good. I lowered the music.

  “Hello.”

  “Hey, loser! Whaccha doin’?” I could tell she was smoking.

  “Nothing. What about you?” I felt like I needed to ask, even though I didn’t really care.

  “Just deciding what to wear over to Connor’s tonight. He’s having a big bash. Wanna come?”

  Oh my God! First a party at Rocky’s and now at Connor’s? Two parties in one week! What would Erica and Taylor think now? As tempted as I was, I already had plans, but I didn’t want anyone to know about them, especially Tessa.

  “Sorry, I can’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “’Cause I gotta stay home with my brother. My mom is out of town for the night and I cannot leave him. At all.”

  “C’mon. Just for a little bit. You’ve left him before.”

  I didn’t want to go into the whole explanation of how Brian had slept over and heard me return from the all-nighter at Rocky’s. “Sorry. Not happening. Maybe another time.”

  “It’s your loss.”

  “Well, try to have fun without me.”

  “Don’t you worry,” Tessa said as she took a drag of her cigarette, “I’m sure I will.”

  We hung up. I wished I had asked Tessa what she saw in Connor Finch. Taylor had to have had vision problems, too, because she also thought he was cute. Connor was tall and gangly with a head-full of thick, bright orange hair. Tessa probably liked him because he was on the football and the hockey teams. Like his best friend, Rocky, he was a super jock.

  I could tell that, even though Tessa and Connor weren’t an official item, they still had the hots for each other, ever since the notorious romp in his backseat. I’m sure Tessa would have hooked up with Connor at Rocky’s if he had been there, but he had been home sick.

  I finished doing my makeup and hair and was quite happy with the results. I glanced at the clock. It was four. I slipped on my favorite LE jeans and a pretty pink sweater. I doused myself in my favorite perfume and lastly put on a cute pair of silver hoop earrings.

  I grabbed my North Face and purse and felt completely ready for my rendezvous. Even so, I crossed my fingers as I headed down the stairs, knowing that I still had to barter with my brother.

  • • •

  As I searched for the directions on the seat next to me, I almost drove off the road. I found them and read them; left onto Greenacre and right on Seaview. I wasn’t sure how to turn on the headlights or if I even needed them yet. It was dusk and getting darker by the minute. I decided that I should.

  I had to concentrate on the road and look for street signs. Driving a couple of miles was proving to be a challenge, but convincing my brother to stay home without me, a piece of cake.

  I couldn’t believe that I was actually driving my mother’s car, any car, for that matter, because I had never driven before. Tessa had done it so many times, I figured how difficult could it be. Plus, I didn’t want to spend the money on a taxi as originally planned, especially because my mom wasn’t home and would never find out anyway.

  I had to carefully sneak the car keys off the hook by the front door so James wouldn’t know what I was doing. When I had looked back behind me before I left, there sat my brother, oblivious and preoccupied as usual.

  I had one last right turn to make, which put me onto Shoreline Drive. I had to follow it for two miles before reaching my destination, or was it my destiny? I was getting more and more nervous by the second, nervous about seeing Michael almost forgetting that, technically, I had stolen a car.

  I drove slowly and carefully. The clock on the dashboard read 4:55. I had less than a mile to go and five minutes until the meeting. I was tempted to make a U-turn and head back home. I started to shake, anxious about being with Michael alone, at his house, with no one else around. What would we say to each other? How would I feel being near him?

  The mailbox to the left of me was clearly marked “161.” I knew this was the driveway that would lead up to the house where Michael was waiting for me. I put my left signal on, but couldn’t bring myself to turn the wheel. I sat there in the middle of the road until a car horn blared from behind me and snapped me out of my daze.

  I had no choice but to pull up the drive and head toward the house. I slowly snaked up the driveway and could make out the silhouette of a very large home at the top.

  There were no other cars in the driveway, except mine, and the house was completely pitch black. It seemed like not another soul was there, but I knew I had the right house for sure. Then it hit me. What if Michael hadn’t even shown up? What if I drove all this way, like an idiot, and he decided not to come after all? That wouldn’t be so unusual for him. I felt like a complete fool.

  I stopped the car, put it in reverse and started to turn it around. I wanted to flee the scene and get outta there as fast as I could. Before I turned the car completely around, I glanced behind me, once last time, toward the dark and lonely dwelling.

  Just then the front porch light flicked on and someone walked out the door. I had to strain to see who it was. The person waved their arms wildly and motioned for me to stop. I put the car in park, rolled down the widow and stuck my head out so I could see better. Michael stood on the front stoop and smiled that heart-melting smile at me. I smiled back. He wasn’t a “no-show” after all.

  CHAPTER

  TWENTY-FIVE

  I parked the car, right where it was and turned off the engine. This was it. There was no turning back. Michael saw I was there and I had no choice but to go up to the house an
d meet him.

  I stepped out of the Jeep and thought I would faint. My legs were shaky and I had to hold onto the car door for support. Michael walked off the porch and down the walkway. I was so nervous and had so many butterflies in my stomach; it actually felt like a flock of birds.

  Michael smiled as he walked toward me. I did, too. I was genuinely happy to see him.

  “You found it!”

  “Yeah, it wasn’t too hard. I’m beginning to realize it would almost be impossible to get lost on this tiny island.”

  Michael stood next to me and stared at my face. Finally he spoke. “I guess wishing on a star worked after all.”

  I was confused. “Huh?”

  “I wished it upon a star that you would come here,” Michael beamed, “and you did.”

  It was cold outside and, instinctively, I wrapped my arms around myself. “Can we go inside?”

  Michael continued to study my face before he answered. “I just want to gaze upon your beauty under the moonlit sky.”

  Embarrassed, I looked away.

  “Don’t be embarrassed.” He read my mind. “It’s true.”

  I looked into Michael’s eyes. They were the still the same expressive eyes as before, both intense and sensitive. He looked the same since the last time I saw him except that his thick, long hair was clipped very short, almost a buzz cut. Because his locks no longer shrouded his face, I could really see his features, with his perfect nose, full lips and cute little dimpled chin. His face wasn’t as pale as it had been. His cheeks had a nice, rosy color to them.

  Michael looked older than the last time I saw him, more mature, actually. If it was even possible, he was more handsome, now, than he had ever been.

  The longer I stared at him, the more anxious I got and he knew it. “C’mon. Let’s go inside.”

  Michael Cooper gently took my hand and led me up his driveway, into his house and, finally, into his life.

  • • •

  Michael’s summerhouse was as impressive as Tessa’s. I couldn’t believe that to some people, these were just part-time homes. I would give anything to live in a place like this, year round. If I did, I was sure I would never leave the premises, just stay home all day long and soak up the beauty of my surroundings.

  Michael led me past the expansive foyer and into a very large family room situated at the back of the house. The house was beautifully decorated, much more elegant than Tessa’s house with its gold-leafed mirrors and gilded framed portraits. A huge painting of hunters on horseback, flanked by crystal sconces, hung from above the ornate stone fireplace mantel.

  Michael walked over the wall and adjusted something. “I’ll turn up the heat, so you can warm up.”

  “Thanks.”

  Michael came over to me and stood very close. “Would you like something to drink?”

  Nervously, I looked away. “Sure. Whatta ya’ got?”

  Michael walked toward the refrigerator and opened it. I followed. It was completely bare except for a few cans of soda and two jugs of water.

  “Sorry it’s so empty. My mom will stock it again once we come back for the summer.”

  I wondered how Michael was able to meet me at his house, on the island, on a Saturday, but didn’t dare ask. He had gotten mad at me back at Thanksgiving when I told him he needed to let his parents know he was safe. He was a big boy, I figured. It wasn’t up to me to worry whether or not his parents knew where he was. I was one to talk, anyway. I stole my mom’s car and left my brother home alone while my mother was out of town. All of a sudden I regretted meeting him at his house. What had I been thinking?

  Michael must have sensed my hesitancy and walked over to me. He took one of my hands and stared at me.

  “What’s wrong, Willow? Don’t you want to be here?”

  I didn’t know what to say. “Yeah, I guess,” I stammered. “It’s just that I left my brother, James, home alone and I’m feeling guilty about it.”

  “Why don’t you call him and make sure he’s alright?”

  “I suppose.”

  I dialed our home number and called James. He picked up. I could tell he was annoyed. “What?”

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Of course it is.”

  “Good. I’ll be home soon.”

  No response.

  “James? Are you there?”

  The little brat had hung up.

  Michael smiled and laughed mischievously. “Good thing you were worried about him.”

  I couldn’t help myself and giggled, too. “What about that drink?”

  • • •

  Michael and I sat in his family room, sipping soda, with the television on, but muted. He sat next to me and began by stating the most important sentence he could have.

  “Go ahead, Willow. Ask me anything you want. Anything. From now on, my life is an open book to you.”

  Wow! He caught me off guard. Of course I had a million questions floating around in my head, but wasn’t able to grab hold of a single one of them.

  “Um …” I studied Michael’s face and the way he looked at me so intensely. Did I really need to know his deep dark secrets? Would it change the way I felt about him after all?

  I looked down, ashamed of the way I had badgered him in the past about not knowing anything about him or his life. And here he was, opening up his soul to me and I couldn’t think of one simple question.

  “I don’t know what to ask.”

  “Well, let me start by telling you why I don’t attend school on a regular basis,” Michael grinned to lighten the mood, “actually, why I don’t attend school at all.

  “Have you ever heard of CF?” he asked.

  I shook my head and faced him.

  “CF stands for Cystic Fibrosis. It’s a disease where a thick, sticky sort of mucus clogs the lungs and digestive system of the people affected with it.”

  Almost reflexively, Michael turned to cough.

  He stared back at me. “And I’m one of those people.”

  I shook my head, confused. “I don’t understand. Why can’t you go to school?”

  “Because most of the time, I’m too sick or too weak to go. I get infections very easily in my lungs, which makes it difficult for me to breathe.

  “It’s better if I’m not around a lot of other people either,” Michael looked away, “who might be contagious.”

  Now I understood why he never was in school and appeared sickly most of the time. But tonight, he looked great, healthier than ever before.

  “Isn’t there any medication you can take for it?”

  “Yes, I take meds, plus I do daily exercises to loosen and expel the mucus from my lungs.”

  “How’d you get it?”

  Michael nervously rubbed his hands together. “I inherited it from my parents. Even though neither of them have the disease, both of them are carriers.”

  Michael became solemn and continued. “That’s why my younger brother is adopted. My parents didn’t want to take the chance and give another child the recessive gene because …” Michael looked down, “… there is no cure.”

  I didn’t know what to say. How should I respond when a boy I like tells me his is very ill with a disease that makes him homebound, a disease that prevents him from being in the presence of other people, a disease for which there is no cure?

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” was all I could muster.

  Michael slapped his thighs and became energized. “So that’s why I’m never in school and so mysterious, or weird, depending how you look at it.”

  Michael quickly smiled and became serious. “Believe me, I wish I could lead a boring life like you guys and go to Portland High everyday.”

  “How do you learn anything, then?”

  “I have tutors come to my house, plus I do most of my schoolwork online.”

  Michael looked around the big room. “We actually used to live in this house full-time until I got too sick to stay here. We had to buy another house on the mainland
so I could be near a special CF care center in Portland.”

  I was speechless.

  “I know. It sucks, but this has been my life for sixteen years and I’m used to it. You just gotta learn to deal with it.” Michael shrugged. “I don’t have a choice.”

  Even though most of my questions had been answered, I was more confused than ever.

  I looked into Michael’s eyes and spoke softly. “Why did you invite me here?”

  “To get to know you. From the moment I first saw you, Willow, I knew there was something special about you. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I just knew, in my heart, that I needed to learn all I could about you.”

  I didn’t know what to say and was, once again, saved by the bell, the bell from my cell phone. I saw that it was my brother, so I answered.

  “Hey, James! What’s up?”

  He sounded frantic. “I think the house is on fire.”

  “What!” I jumped up and screamed. “What do you mean you think it’s on fire!?”

  “I made some popcorn and it burned in the microwave and there’s smoke everywhere.” James started coughing.

  “Are there any flames?”

  “No, just smoke.”

  “Open all the windows and doors and get outta there. Fast! I’ll be right home.”

  “Should I call the fire department?” he asked.

  “Are there any flames at all?”

  “No.”

  “Then don’t. Just grab a coat and wait outside for me. As long as there isn’t a fire, you just need to air out the house.”

  “Okay,” James said before hanging up.

  I shook my head and looked at Michael. “Unbelievable!”

  Michael laughed. “The kid really knows how to kill a mood.”

  “I gotta go.”

  “I know,” he said and quickly walked me to the front door.

  We stood on the porch and I looked up into Michael’s eyes, eyes that pierced my soul. I looked away, too afraid that he could read my mind, and realize just how much I wanted to stay. He gently held my chin and forced me to look at him again.

  Michael leaned in close to me and brushed his forehead with mine. I could feel his warm breath on my face. More butterflies in my stomach.