Show Me the Sun

by Miriam Shumba

  “What about your father?” she asked.

  “Not in the picture,” Amari said, and Raven nodded understandingly. “I think you are very lucky with your stable home family, your dad being the anchor for the family. That’s very rare.”

  “I know. I should be grateful.”

  “Yes, you should be. But you are not?”

  “I love my family, but I just don’t seem to fit in,” Raven said. He looked at her, surprised.

  “Just you?”

  “Just me. Maybe it’s because I am not actively involved in the ministry. I don’t know, but I just haven’t found my place. It’s silly I know.”

  “You want to be involved with your father’s church?”

  “No, not really. I chose social work, and I love helping out at the center. Maybe I’m still searching for my place. Do you think you have yours figured out yet?”

  “Getting there. I know I can’t play ball forever. There’ll come a time when I’ll have to do something else.”

  “What do you think that’ll be? Acting?”

  “You remember what I told you? Hey, I’ll try just about anything.”

  They looked at each other across the table.

  “So what about you? I’m curious, when did you become a Christian, or were you born one?”

  “Well, I grew up in a Christian family. Dad became a pastor at a very early age. It’s always been a way of life.”

  “My ma, too.”

  “What about you?”

  Amari leaned back in his comfortable chair. “When I was born again? It’s a long story.”

  “I’d like to hear it.”

  “I ignored God for most of my teenage years and early twenties, you know, when you know but just don’t want to.” Raven nodded and Amari continued, “I think for me it was a combination of things. When I played ball overseas it was lonely. I would hang with the guys even though I didn’t really like what they were doing, you know.”

  He paused. He could see Raven was leaning forward as if she were hanging on his every word.

  “There was one guy on the team. He was just different. I noticed he didn’t hang with us. He was quietly encouraging, not saying much, and one day I noticed that when conversations became inappropriate or a bit too colorful he would just excuse himself. At dinner once, he prayed over his meal and the other guys just looked at him like he was crazy. He was a young guy then, about twenty-one, but he seemed to have the confidence of a much older man. So one day when we were working out I decided to ask him what religion he was.

  “Well, this young man, Idris Cole, started sharing about his life, about how God had delivered him from the strife in his country and through many miracles led him to play basketball for this French team, but still he knew that he hadn’t reached his destiny. He talked about Jesus as if they were friends. From then on I would hang out with him, and I started attending a small church close by with him. The congregation was mostly Africans, and these people were on fire for God. I gave my life to Jesus a few months later.”

  “Wow. That’s incredible,” Raven said, touched. “Where’s Idris now?”

  “He’s coaching now, and also a youth pastor of sorts. I kept in touch with him, but when I came to the NBA it was a little different. I wasn’t living my life the way I wanted to. I still struggle, but what keeps me strong sometimes is when I remember how watching Idris’s life convinced me to follow Christ. That’s how I want to be, not someone who just speaks about Jesus, but someone who actually tries to live like him.”

  “I think you do.”

  “No. I’m far from it. But I think I’m on the right road.”

  * * *

  The evening was as smooth as the wine they drank with their seafood dinner and piano music playing softly in the background. Amari felt like he had known her forever. They were comfortable. She was easy to talk to. As they drove back to her apartment she sat with her head back. She seemed sleepy and relaxed. He walked her to her door, but he didn’t want to leave. Being with her was just too good.

  “Thanks for the dinner, Amari,” she said. Her soft, full lips were inviting.

  “It was good. I liked spending time with you,” he said. She bit her lower lip, her hand twisting her purse straps.

  “Me, too,” she admitted. “Good night.” Amari laughed at how quickly the words “good night” came out.

  “Are you sending me away?” he asked.

  “You can come in, but…,” she began.

  “But nothing should happen?” She nodded.

  “Like what?” he asked, following behind her. When he closed the door he could see the wariness in her eyes.

  “Like this,” he said and pulled her into his arms. She squealed as he planted kisses on her mouth.

  “ ’Mari,” she whispered, and he moved back. He looked in her eyes. Longing filled their depths.

  “I know. I’ll leave soon and I’ll be good. Let’s just sit for a while. Talk.”

  She looked at him hesitantly and then walked over to the love seat. He sat down and pulled her down next to him.

  “This is nice,” he said close to her ear. “What do you think?” He could feel her relax a little as she leaned back against him. His arms were around her, enfolding her to him.

  “It’s good,” she said.

  “Now I only wish you had a TV,” he said, staring at her unusual artwork.

  “I’ve a CD player,” she said.

  “Great.” He got up and walked to the stereo on the bookshelf that took over one whole side of the wall. He pulled up one book and showed her the spine. It read Being Single and Loving It.

  Raven gave an embarrassed smile when he held it towards her. She wished she had thrown the book away. “That’s from my sister, Esther. I haven’t read it yet,” Raven confessed. “Don’t look at my books.”

  “Might learn something about you?” he teased.

  He looked through the music, which ranged from Yolanda Adams, Cece Winans and Alicia Keys. He selected a Percy Sledge CD. “Some great old love songs,” he said and put it in the CD player. His phone rang.

  “I’ll be right back. Get that,” she said. As Raven walked into her bedroom, she immediately pulled off her three-inch heels and rubbed her feet.

  “I don’t know how some women wear these every day,” she muttered. “But for Amari it’s worth it.”

  She smiled nervously, imagining him making himself comfortable in her living room, filling the room with his aura. She opened the door and heard the tail end of his conversation on the phone.

  “I’m in the house, man. I don’t know what you were saying that she would never let me that close. You lose the bet so pay up, Cortez.”

  As Amari threw his head back and laughed Raven closed the door and sat on her bed. Anger replaced the warm feelings she’d had a few minutes earlier. Was he using her to win some bet with his buddies? Who did he think she was? It took her a few seconds to decide what to do. She slipped on her fluffy slippers and walked into her living room.

  “Later, man,” Amari said and looked at her as she stood by the couch. He looked very relaxed and the music from the CD player just added to the intimate atmosphere.

  “Hey. Cute slippers,” Amari said, looking at her feet.

  “Thanks. I’m gonna go to bed, Amari. I’m really tired.”

  “Already? Thought we would hang out or…”

  “I said I’m tired and I would rather you go,” Raven said, folding her hands across her chest. She had wanted to remain calm, but her short fuse had already burst. Amari sat up, a look of surprise on his face.

  There go your sordid plans, Raven thought happily. Hell would freeze over before she let him in her apartment again.

  “You’re joking, right?”

  “No,” she said, then, as she moved over to the CD player, she muttered, “You’re the joke.”

  “What did you say?” he asked standing close to her as she pulled out the CD and made a point of putting it back in its case. But before she
placed it on the shelf, he grabbed it from her.

  “What’s this? All of a sudden you just turned cold?”

  “Nothing,” Raven said and tried to grab the CD. He held it out of her reach and she widened her eyes at him, her annoyance rising higher.

  “I can see you’re upset,” he insisted.

  “I think this evening is over, so just be a gentleman and leave.”

  “Be a lady and tell me what’s going on,” Amari threw back, baffled but obviously not willing to put his tail between his legs and walk out.

  “I just think you should leave,” Raven shouted and moved towards the door.

  “Tell me why?” Amari stood where he was looking at her. She glared back at him chin held up, lips pursed.

  “I heard you talk to your friend Cortez just now about some bet.” Raven stopped when she saw him laughing. Her anger increased, causing her skin to burn.

  “That?”

  “Yeah. I heard you, and I don’t appreciate being a part of some childish game you and your friends play. I don’t care who you are, I hate having my time wasted. So you won your bet, now leave!”

  She opened the door and Amari walked to it and pushed it closed. He kept his hand on the door and regarded her. She could only stand and look at him in amazement. Was he this obstinate? Did he think he just had to look at her and she would forgive and forget?

  “We were just playing. That’s guys’ talk. I really like you,” Amari said. The pain in her chest eased a little.

  “I don’t trust you. All the time tonight I wondered why you were with me, and now I know.”

  “I wish you hadn’t heard that. We just joke like that. I don’t want to tell my boys how much I’m really into you yet. It’s how boys talk.”

  “It’s disrespectful,” Raven said, her tone softening. Still, she wondered, why didn’t he want to tell the boys? Was he ashamed of her?

  “Sorry,” he said, touching her cheek. “I think you are amazing. I do respect you.”

  She looked into his eyes and saw the sincerity in them. Was he for real? He could make her so angry one minute and the next she melted at his touch. When his eyes were on her, deep, dark, sensitive…she couldn’t think of much else.

  “Am I forgiven?” He put both his hands on his heart. She shook her head, still reeling from the feelings of betrayal she had just felt. “I don’t want everybody knowing my business.”

  “So you tell them you are having a fling with me?”

  “No. I don’t want anybody to know how serious I am about you.”

  She couldn’t deny the warmth in his eyes, but she still didn’t want to forgive him.

  “I like your style, your strong sense of right and wrong, your purity. That’s rare and I really dig it.” The blood rushed to her face, turning her eyes bright with embarrassment. He was saying something special.

  “Now you know how I really feel. Are you still mad?”

  “A little. I mean, no,” Raven said. He smiled, but when he tried to reach for her she moved back, shaking her head. “Good night, Amari.”

  “You really mean it this time?”

  “I do.”

  They looked at each other for a while. He stood there, and she felt her heart start to thud. Still he leaned close to her and kissed her, a confident kiss that left her forgetting she had told him to leave until he released her, checked his pockets for his keys and left. As soon as he was gone she wished she could call him back. She missed him already.

  Chapter 10

  After their first date, they were inseparable. Amari told her that he didn’t want to play games. He claimed he could sense that they were right for each other. In an awkward discussion they both agreed that they were dating. Raven was surprised when Amari showed that he was eager to meet her parents, only two months after they became “official.” They decided to visit her parents’ home the first Sunday in October when Amari didn’t have work.

  That Sunday came quicker than Raven wanted. She was really nervous about taking Amari to meet her family. There would be questions, and she would be in the spotlight. They would all be wondering how Raven managed to be dating a guy as incredible as Amari. They would love him just as much as she did, but they would wonder, just as she wondered. What does he see in me?

  They arrived at 2400 Mill Lane just before four. Dinner was starting later, but her mother wanted her and Amari to get there early before her brother and sisters arrived.

  “You grew up in this house?” Amari asked, looking at Raven.

  “Just for a few years. They bought this when I was in high school.”

  “It’s tight,” Amari commented, parking the car in the circle drive way where he had dropped her off the night her little Mini died. That car was probably on its way to a junk yard. To fix it cost more than buying another used car, so Raven had given in to her father and now Amari’s desires and leased a brand new car.

  “Wait till you get inside,” Raven said as they walked to the door and rang the doorbell.

  Philip opened the door.

  “Daddy,” Raven said and hugged her father tightly. She stepped aside and let Amari in.

  “Good evening, sir.” Amari cleared his throat. She had never seen him so nervous before. She watched the two men who, in that moment, meant the most to her meet. They seemed to like each other at first sight.

  “Come in, come in,” Philip said guiding them inside. Raven caught her father’s eye and he smiled at her. She felt better now that the initial meeting was over. They walked into the living room and Clare stood up to greet Amari. She watched Amari’s eyes admire her lovely mother. Everybody did, and at first glance her beauty could cause electrical storms.

  “Mom, this is Amari,” Raven said, watching her mother’s expression. She seemed to approve. The wide, welcoming smile and glee in her eyes left no doubt that Amari was already a hit. She knew that Amari exuded warmth, confidence and gentleness despite his strong build. His amazing eyes showed the honesty and integrity within. You just couldn’t miss it, and Raven knew her mother recognized it. Clare always made her decisions about people immediately.

  “Nice to meet you,” Amari said politely. Raven wanted to giggle with tension, nervousness and excitement all in one. Instead she walked over and kissed her mother on the cheek.

  “Please have a seat, Amari,” Clare said, indicating the white love seat. Amari sat down comfortably, long legs stretched out in front of him. Raven looked at her parents’ tastefully decorated house, trying to gauge what Amari would think. Was it over the top? Her mom was obsessed with creams and whites, but the walls were a pale, bluish green color that complimented the furniture. It was a clean and pristine environment. Even when they had lived in the smaller house in which Raven had grown up, Clare was tyrannical about keeping a clean house.

  There was a moment of uncomfortable silence, Raven couldn’t think of how to fill it. She was relieved when her father broke the silence.

  “Is the team ready for the season?” Philip Senior asked. Of course basketball. What else could they talk about?

  “Getting there. Just have a few injuries.”

  “You have a good team, no stars, but players willing to work together. I’m sure Jackson will be able to play soon,” Philip said.

  “Amari would you like something to drink before you go into a full sports report?” Clare asked.

  “Sure. Water’s fine, thank you,” Amari said.

  “Ray, come and help me get the drinks,” Clare ordered. Raven got up and left Philip and Amari talking about basketball again and reliving the championship of the year before.

  “He seems like a nice man,” Clare commented, gesturing towards the formal living room where Amari and Philip’s voices could be heard.

  “He’s wonderful,” Raven said. “You like him?”

  “Well, I’ll only be glad if the relationship lasts more than a year. I mean, you have only known each other for a very short time.” Clare looked at Raven, the green flecks in her light brown eye
s sparkling.

  “It’s been three months. It’s going really well but we are not rushing it or anything.”

  “That’s how it should be.” Clare looked into Raven’s eyes and put her hand on her daughter’s cheek.

  “You are not such a bad-looking girl. I can see what he sees in you, Raven. You have the eyes and heart of an angel. You are innocent, so I hope he doesn’t take advantage of you.” Clare turned and picked up the tray with the drinks. Raven was left alone in the modern kitchen filled with delicious smells.

  Clare’s words echoed in her ears, but Raven wasn’t going to let them enter her spirit and steal the joy from this day. Amari thought she was beautiful and he wasn’t going to take advantage of her. Raven shrugged and followed behind her mother’s expensive perfume, not sure if their conversation had been complimentary or not.

  * * *

  A couple of hours later the whole family sat down to dinner. Esther arrived with Angelo and Tahlia, and PJ arrived a few minutes later. Amari was the main attraction. PJ and Angelo, both avid basketball fans, totally dominated the conversation. For a few seconds Amari had a moment to breathe when church business came up. The older people in the church were complaining about the type of music Angelo selected for Praise and Worship and wanted more of the old hymns sung. Raven turned to glance at Amari and the look on his face took her breath away. His eyes made her feel powerful emotions, and he only broke away when Clare asked him about his family.

  “It’s just me and my mother,” Amari said. “It’s good to see a family like yours that gets along.”

  “Not all the time,” Tahlia said. “PJ here can drive us crazy sometimes with sports talk.”

  Raven looked at Amari as he laughed at Tahlia’s comment. Tahlia was beautiful, soft and sweet. Raven wondered if Amari was comparing her to her gorgeous sisters.

  Everybody laughed and talked so naturally. It was a great evening. Still Raven waited for something bad to happen. She couldn’t be that blessed!

  * * *

  After dinner Amari and Raven left first. Amari had to get to bed early as he had early morning practice and then a flight to Arizona.