Freedom

by Riley Edwards

  That pulled a real smile from Jasper. “Shit. I think I can still smell the burning hair from the time you thought it would be funny to put hair removal shit in my body wash.”

  “Wait, dude, you use body wash?” Clark chuckled.

  “That’s what Liz and I thought. Jasper had showered at our house after he went hunting with our dad. We found his body wash and Liz may have added a little Nair hair removal to the bottle. It was too easy.”

  It was hilarious is what it was. The next day Jasper had missing patches of hair on his legs. Lucky for him it had been Fall, and he could wear jeans to hide his bald spots.

  “What if I would’ve washed my hair with it?” Jasper grumped.

  “Well then, you would’ve been bald,” I laughed.

  “Whatever. I’m going to go find my woman.”

  “She’s out back in the gym doing yoga,” I told him.

  “Fucking brilliant.” Jasper wagged his eyebrows like a total creeper.

  “Yep, we’re leaving. See you tomorrow.”

  Chapter Twelve

  The drive back to my house had been… relaxing. I listened to Reagan tell me about her day out with Emily looking at new venues for the wedding. She was animated when she spoke, bringing the story alive not just with words but her hands as well. Reagan hadn’t sat still the entire drive. I tried to think if I’d ever enjoyed listening to a woman speak more but couldn’t think of a time. I was happy she felt more at ease around Emily now. I wanted to ask her why that was but didn’t want to draw attention to it, so I let it go.

  Now I was sitting on my back deck with a belly full of food and a beer in my hand. Reagan was sitting in a chair next to me with her feet pulled up on the edge and her chin resting on her knees, looking at me patiently to answer a question I hadn’t realized she’d asked. I was too busy contemplating the softness of her skin when I’d licked up her thighs earlier this morning. Her skin was smooth and felt fantastic on my tongue. I wanted more of that, more of her. My cock had been throbbing in my pants from the moment I’d walked into Jasper’s house, and her beauty had struck me. It had only deflated for a moment when I was reminded I’d thrown her to the floor during my nightmare.

  “I’m sorry, what’d you ask?”

  “How was your day?” she asked again.

  “It was fine. Normal day at the office.”

  “I forgot to tell you earlier; you look hot in your uniform.”

  “Thanks,” I chuckled, still taken aback by her candor.

  “Why did you tell Jasper about what happened?” She turned fully to face me.

  I thought about how to explain why I’d told Jasper.

  “For a few reasons. The most important being I don’t want to lie to him.”

  “Not telling him isn’t a lie,” she said.

  “It is if I’m not telling him because I want to keep it a secret. Which I don’t. He’d be pissed if he’d heard it from you or Emily before I’d told him. I could’ve seriously hurt you. I knew I’d shocked the guys when I suggested you stay with me. I saw the worried look on Jasper’s face. He cares about and feels responsible for you. I had to tell him.”

  “Why would they be shocked - because you were being nice? Emily had said something about none of you guys being nice. Honestly, I didn’t understand what she meant by that. I still don’t. You all seem nice to me.”

  “They were shocked because I don’t invite people to my house, and especially not to spend the night. The guys have all been here, but I don’t like outsiders in my space. He also knows that I still dream about Moses. It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen.” I thought about what Emily had told her about none of us being nice and wondered what had prompted that comment. “I can’t tell you why Emily said that unless you give me some context.”

  “We were leaving to go get the pizza, and she had the wrong idea about the two of us. I told her that you were just being nice to me. That’s when she said that you weren’t nice.”

  Not for the first time today, or the day before, I thought about how fucked I was. Reagan’s frankness was something I only knew from my team. Women played games; they acted coy and cute. There was always some ulterior motive behind their actions. Reagan didn’t realize that she’d told me that she and Em had been talking about me, or that she’d been trying to make excuses for my attention. She hadn’t told Emily that she wasn’t interested, she said that I wasn’t.

  “Emily was right. I’m not nice in that way. I wouldn’t have wanted you to go get pizza with me if I wasn’t enjoying your company and wanted to spend more time with you, even though I knew I should’ve been keeping my distance.”

  “Why should you stay away from me?” Reagan’s forehead wrinkled, and she started to bite her bottom lip, something I noticed she did when she was nervous or embarrassed. I immediately remembered her worrying her lip when we were in my room when I had her pressed against my door, and my cock jerked thinking about her being nervous around me. I liked that she didn’t have much experience. In the short time we’d be together, I could teach her all the pleasure of lovemaking.

  What. The. Fuck? Not lovemaking. Fucking. Sex. Shagging. That’s what we’d have. There would be no love involved.

  I tipped my beer back and took the last swig before I answered, deciding she should have the same honesty she’d given me.

  “Because I wanted you more than I should for a variety of reasons. The first being that I can’t offer you anything but a few weeks. Another was that I’m ten years older than you. Then there was the fact that my attraction to you is more than physical. Your honesty and lack of head games is just as much of a turn on as your beauty.”

  “Past tense.”

  I studied her for a moment, not understanding her statement. “What is past tense?”

  “Your reasons. You said, was, those excuses are in the past, correct? I mean, you haven’t changed your mind.”

  Christ this girl had no issue calling me to the carpet. “No, Rea, I haven’t changed my mind. And I’m assuming by your question you haven’t either.”

  “I spent the whole day thinking about tonight. I couldn’t wait until five when I knew you’d be back to Jasper’s to pick me up. And not because I wanted to fall into bed with you – though I totally do and thought a lot about what it would be like, but I found that I missed being around you.”

  The lump in my throat was hard to swallow. I should’ve done the smart, honorable thing, and gently explained to Reagan that we couldn’t progress any further. Her admission about missing me was exactly what I was worried about. Emotions and feelings had to be kept out of any sex we were going to have.

  Only I didn’t; I couldn’t, because I’d missed the hell out of her all day, too. She was all I’d thought about. I’d pulled my phone out several times over the hours to text her and ask her what she was doing for no other reason than I wanted to know. Spending time with her was not a good idea. Sinking into her warm body was going to be a life-changing mistake – one I couldn’t stop myself from making.

  I had no idea how Reagan had come to mean something to me in such a short amount of time, just that she had. I couldn’t have said I was in love with her, but it was clear that I could be. That was all the reason I should’ve needed to put a stop to us. But, again, I wouldn’t. I needed her too badly.

  “You ready to go in? It’s getting a little chilly.”

  “I am if you are,” she said and stood when I did.

  When we were in the house she almost made me drop my empty beer bottle when she blurted out, “Just so I know, after we’re done tonight, are you going to tell me to go back to my room?”

  “Come again?” Was she asking me if after I fucked her I was going to kick her out of my bed?

  “I only want to understand. I’ve never done this.” She motioned between the two of us.

  Holy hell she was asking what I’d thought she was.

  “Done what, Rea?”

  “I don’t know what to call it.” Her pretty fa
ce started to flush, and I couldn’t help the step I took toward her, placing my bottle on the counter as I moved.

  “Try. Explain it to me.”

  “This. Us. I’ve never been in a man’s bed only to have sex. I don’t want to make any assumptions. What is proper one-night-stand protocol? When we’re done am I supposed to get up and go back into the other room.”

  “You’re not a one-night-stand,” I told her and pulled her closer to me. “This is new to me, too,” I admitted. “We’ll do what comes naturally. No rules, no preconceived ideas.”

  I took her mouth in a bruising kissing, halting any further conversation. It took only seconds for her to melt into the kiss. When I felt her body fully relax, I picked her up, flexing my hands under her ass when her legs wrapped around my waist. I didn’t need to break the kiss as I moved us through the living room, down the hall, and into my bedroom.

  I set her on her feet and steadied her before I pulled back, disengaging our lips so I could pull her shirt over her head. As soon as the fabric cleared, I was back tasting the skin at her neck, down to the top of one breast over the other. Without pause, I unsnapped her bra and unfastened her jeans, tugging her panties and the denim down her thighs. I felt her shifting her hips toward me at the same time she stepped out of the tangled mess at her feet.

  “May I?” she whispered.

  I nodded against her soft belly and continued to kiss around her bellybutton. At my acquiescence, her hands were on my shoulders, moving down my back to the hem of my tee. She brought the fabric up and it gathered around my neck, forcing me to stand so she could finish removing the garment.

  “You have the perfect chest,” she said.

  Not the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard, yet her declaration, accompanied with her tiny hands now on my bare skin, cause goosebumps to raise where she’d touched me.

  “Pleased you think so.”

  I pushed the sweatpants down my legs and carefully watched Reagan for any signs that she wanted me to slow down. When I saw the flare in her eyes, I knew she was where I needed her to be. I was unable to keep my head upright as her hands traveled down my chest, over my abs, and lower still. Looking at the ceiling, I sucked in a breath and held it when she finally palmed my cock, slowly stroking up and down. Her thumb swiped the pre-come now freely leaking and smeared it around the tip before she went back to stroking me.

  I stood in front of her, my hands on her hips, unable to move. My brain had disengaged, all I could do was feel. I wanted to taste her, touch her, but she held me captive with only her hand. Her movements became harder, faster, more confident. She’d added a twist to her wrist each time she pulled up to the head. I was going to lose what was left of my control if I didn’t stop her.

  “Enough.”

  “Why?” she asked and didn’t still the motion.

  “Because I’m going to come in your hand.”

  “I want you to.” She gripped me tighter.

  “No. The last twelve hours have been the longest of my life. All I’ve thought about is what it’s going to be like to finally get inside of you. If I come now, we’ll have to wait until I get hard again. And while I have great recovery time, even five minutes is too long.”

  She slowed her hand and looked up from where she’d been watching her hand and locked eyes with me.

  “I agree. Five minutes is too long.” Her hand fell away and without me having to ask, she crawled onto the bed, rolling until she was in the middle. Her blonde hair fanned out around her head, contrasting with the deep blue of the comforter. She looked like a fucking goddess that needed to be worshipped. By the time I was done paying homage to every part of her body, she’d feel me for days.

  “Nolan?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Hurry.”

  “There is no rush. We have all night.” I climbed onto the bed, my hands finding her ankles, and I pushed her legs farther apart, giving me room to move where I really wanted. Her skin pebbled as I felt my way up her calves, over her knees, to the soft skin I’d been thinking about all day. Reagan’s thighs trembled under my fingertips. I knew she needed more than the featherlight touches I was giving her, but I didn’t want a moment of our first time together rushed.

  “I’m going to die,” she whined.

  After her declaration I didn’t make her wait, and without warning, I lowered my head and lapped up her wetness. Her taste exploded on my tongue, and my ears took in her moans, low and guttural. Christ, I loved that sound.

  It didn’t take but minutes to take her to the edge with my fingers and tongue, but I pulled away when I felt her orgasm approaching.

  “You’re killing me.”

  “Hold on, sweetheart.” I grabbed the condom, ripped it open, and winced when I rolled it down my cock. The latex had never felt so tight, which was a testament to how hard I was.

  Carefully fisting myself, I lined up and pushed the head past the tightness that threatened to keep me out.

  “Relax for me,” I told her and kissed her forehead.

  “Okay.”

  Even though she’d agreed, her body was still restrained and full of tension.

  “You are so damn beautiful, sweetheart.”

  I kissed her cheek.

  “So sexy.”

  I gave her a soft peck on her lips and hitched her leg higher over my hip, and my lips went to her neck. She was wet enough that I could’ve pushed inside her, but the last thing I wanted was to hurt her. If I took her how I wanted to now, before she was soft and relaxed, it would be painful.

  “I’m gonna make you feel so good.” I continued to suck and bite on her neck and her leg around my back flexed, raising her hips. “I’m barely an inch inside of you, and I’m ready to lose my mind you feel so good.” The more I talked, the more her body softened under mine. Her hips bucked up, and I pushed a little farther in. My eyes rolled as pleasure shot through my body like an electric shock.

  “Please,” she breathed, and I let myself go, sliding fully inside, her heat searing through the thin latex barrier.

  “Holy shit,” I panted. “You feel so damn good.”

  Without thought I pulled back and slowly pushed back in; she’d reduced my thinking to only my most primal need - to take her, to consume her, to own every part of her. I kept my strokes unhurried and methodical, with only the care to bring her pleasure. Long before I wanted it to be over, her whimpers became louder and impatient. She was tilting her hips and tightening her legs around my waist, meeting my thrusts.

  “Nolan.”

  “I got you, baby. Let go; I’ll catch you.”

  “Promise?” she cried.

  “Promise, pretty girl, let it happen.”

  She convulsed and tightened around my cock, and I lost what was left of my self-control and let go with her.

  “Nolan,” she moaned, her short-cropped nails branding my back as they scored my skin.

  Her cries of ecstasy filled the room and forever etched on my soul. There had never been, nor would there ever be, a moment that felt so right, so perfect, so fucking enduring that I couldn’t stop when my heart came alive.

  “Right here, baby.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Holy shit, I had sex with Nolan Clark. Hot, sweaty, awesome sex. I clamped my mouth shut and prayed to all things holy I didn’t do something stupid like belt out hallelujah. Because that’s what I wanted to do. My body was liquid, my insides were warm and placid, yet my brain was traveling a mile a minute. I wanted to dance a jig, maybe break dance, do the moonwalk, something to mark this momentous occasion. Thank God Clark’s large body was still covering mine, preventing me from making a fool out of myself.

  His lips found their way to my neck, and he gently kissed the sensitive skin under my jaw up to my ear. I never in a million years would’ve guessed that this big strong man could be so tender. He’d taken his time when he noticed I’d tensed. I didn’t mean to, I wanted him so badly, but self-doubt crept in, and all the what-ifs started rolling through my
head, and I couldn’t turn them off. He slowed and waited me out, using his words and mouth to bring me back to the present.

  When he finally let go and took me the way he wanted to, there was nothing I could do but hold on. I knew this was only sex and nothing more, but when his gaze latched onto mine while he was moving inside of me - try as I might, some of the armor I’d locked around my heart cracked. He’d warned me that all we’d ever have was a few nights, friends with benefits, extended one-night-stand, whatever you wanted to call it. I had no one to blame, but myself and I knew I’d read too much into it, but I could’ve sworn I saw something other than lust in his eyes.

  “You okay?” he asked after he’d thoroughly obliterated any sense of self-preservation I had left.

  “Okay is not a word I’d use to describe my current state of being,” I told him.

  “No? What word would you use?” He was teasing me, but I didn’t mind.

  “Do I only get one?”

  “No, I guess not.”

  “Phenomenal. Outstanding. Awesome. Out-of-body,” I answered.

  “You’re a nut.” He laughed, just as I hoped he would. I was finding that I’d do just about anything to make the man smile. “What am I going to do with you?”

  “More of that!” I offered.

  “Fuck yeah, we’re doing more of that. Let me get rid of this condom. Don’t move.”

  As if I could.

  He kissed my forehead and rolled out of bed. Upon his return, he got to work giving us the good stuff.

  By the time we were done with round two, I no longer felt like I wanted to jump up and dance around the room. My muscles were screaming at me not to move. Clark had shifted us, placing me on top and demanded I ride him. I’d never before had the pleasure of being on top. Holy shit – the view. The sight alone was almost enough to get me off. His pecs and abs flexing and tightening was a sight to behold. When I thought I couldn’t take another orgasm, Clark proved me wrong. His fingers had dug into my hips as he rocked me back and forth. I saw stars when he fastened his lips around my nipple, and I flew apart.