No Filter (No Shame Series Book 1)

by Nora Phoenix

  Luckily, his shirt had been long enough to cover his erection. And even more luckily, Josh had been standing behind him and had never caught Noah’s reaction to that kiss. Hopefully. He’d hate to hurt Josh as well. How could one kiss from a guy he’d met only hours before have that effect on him? Even now, thinking about him, his cock stirred.

  But oh, that look when Indy had deduced he and Josh were more than friends, that they weren’t merely sharing a house, but a bed as well. The embarrassment had been easy to see, but also the pride and determination to cover it up. Fuck, he’d hated hurting Indy like that, especially after the incredibly risky move of kissing another guy. Indy hadn’t known Noah was gay, and even if it had been an impulse, as Noah suspected it was, probably fueled by the painkillers that had lowered his inhibitions, it was still a ballsy move.

  Wait. He’d labeled himself gay. Was he? Am I? He’d considered himself more of a gay-for-you variety since he’d only been involved with Josh. He’d never so much as looked at another man, not even before his accident. Well, Josh, maybe, but that was because they’d been so damn close, and Josh had been openly gay. Of course he’d wondered. More than once, if he was honest. But now his attraction to Indy disproved that theory. Hmm, maybe he was bisexual? Did it really matter?

  The naked, lean body sleeping in his arms was the living, breathing proof it did matter. He’d have to navigate carefully here, because Josh was fragile. His needs had to come first. Not that Noah resented that. Fuck, no. He could never resent Josh. He loved him way too deeply for that. At the same time, Indy had stirred something in him worth exploring, something he hadn’t felt since the loss, as he called it.

  The loss of his leg.

  The loss of his identity.

  The loss of a sense of calling.

  He wasn’t the same Noah he had been before, and he doubted he would ever be. Of course, it was also the loss forJosh. Noah might have left a leg in that field hospital, but Josh had left a part of himself in the sand pit that he had not yet learned to live without.

  He shifted, trying to find a position where his leg would stop hurting. Josh stirred in his sleep, snuggled closer to Noah and put his head on Noah’s arm. They always slept cuddled up against each other, since it was the only way Josh could sleep without having nightmares. Noah had gotten so used to it that he himself now had trouble falling asleep without Josh next to him. Tonight, despite a twelve-hour shift and being dead tired, sleep eluded him. His leg hurt too much, and the erection he’d been sporting on and off since Indy kissed him didn’t help either.

  Another shooting pain tormented his leg, and he bit his lip to keep the wail in that threatened to erupt from his lips. His body tensed, and Josh shifted in his arms, rubbing his bare ass against Noah’s equally naked cock. It responded with fervor, and Noah let out a soft gasp.

  “Your leg bothering you?” Josh whispered with a sleepy voice.

  Noah ordered his cock to back off, but it wasn’t hearing him. “Yeah. Sorry to wake you.”

  Josh wriggled a bit with his ass, no doubt becoming aware of the hard rod poking his cheeks. “’S okay. You need release?”

  Noah’s jaw tensed. The never-ending battle between what he needed and what he wanted. Another reason why he could never resent Josh. They took care of each other. Always.

  “Yeah,” he admitted with a raw voice.

  Josh turned to face Noah. “It’s okay, Noah. I got you.”

  Noah’s cock jumped as Josh's hand wrapped around it, pulling slowly at first, then with a firmer grip. Noah closed his eyes as his cock responded to Josh's ministrations. The steady rhythm made him grow rock hard. Josh pulled back the skin, brushed the thick head with his thumb. Noah’s spine tingled.

  Oh fuck, he needed this. He wanted this. He groaned as Josh's hand formed a tight pressure around his shaft. Noah arched his back slightly, moving with Josh's hand to create even more friction. Josh's thumb found the head again, this time juicing his whole cock with precum.

  “Hand, blow, or fuck?”

  The simple question had been asked by Josh dozens of times before, but it never failed to hit Noah deep in his core. The fact that Josh even wanted to do this after what he’d been through, it was a fucking miracle. The mere thought of burying himself in Josh's ass had his cock throbbing. He needed something to make him feel anything else but the pain in his leg…and the confusion Indy had brought.

  “Let me fuck you. Please, Josh.” His voice trembled.

  “You know you don’t need to ask me twice.”

  Josh shoved the covers up and climbed up, straddled him, their cocks brushing against each other. Noah reached out and grabbed his friend’s shaft, eliciting a soft moan from Josh's lips.

  He smiled as his best friend’s cock jumped under his loving care and grew rigid.

  “Oh!” Josh groaned and flexed his hips as Noah firmly stroked his member. He was nowhere near as hard as Noah, but Noah could remedy that in seconds. Josh was always fast to respond to Noah’s touch. Noah added his other hand, grabbing the base of Josh's shaft with one hand and stroking him with the other.

  “Shit…” Josh sighed, closing his eyes and leaning back to give Noah full access.

  Josh's ass pressed down on Noah’s cock, and Noah had to force himself to keep focused on his friend. Fuck, he wanted to be inside him desperately, but Josh's pleasure came first.

  If his leg hadn’t hurt so much, Noah would have flipped his lover over and given him a solid blow job. The good news was that Josh loved being fucked, so he was about to become really, really happy. Noah would fill him up and make him come.

  When Josh's juices started to flow, Noah slowly released his cock. Josh let out a contented sigh while grinding his ass against Noah’s cock, making him tremble. Josh lowered himself to his forearms, brushing a soft kiss on Noah’s lips.

  “Ready to fuck?” Josh whispered, touching Noah’s lips again with another butterfly kiss. God, he was so sweet.

  “Always,” Noah groaned, lifting his hips slightly to grind his crotch against Josh's ass.

  “You sure about that?” Josh teased, maneuvering Noah’s cock against his entrance.

  What had he ever done to deserve a man as tender and sweet as Josh? Noah reached up with his right hand and pulled Josh's head down, crushing his mouth against his. Josh stilled in surprise—no wonder, as kissing wasn’t usually part of the program and when it was, it was mostly initiated by Josh—before he fully surrendered and kissed him back with fervor.

  The intricate dance of their hot, slick tongues released flutters in Noah’s belly. Damn, the guy could kiss. Josh deserved so much more than what Noah was able to give him.

  Noah pulled his mouth back, and rocked his hips forward again, pushing his shaft against Josh's hole. He gave Josh the look that had earned him the nickname The General. “Does that answer your question?”

  Most men trembled in their boots when he looked at them like that, but Josh's eyes lit up. “I love it when you get all authoritative on me.”

  “I know. Now help me fuck you. Please,” he added. He would die before making Josh do anything he didn’t want.

  Josh stilled. “Stop saying please. You’re not asking me for a favor. I want this as much as you.”

  Noah groaned in frustration. Why couldn’t he get it right tonight? “For fuck’s sake, Josh, can we please not talk about this right now?”

  In an uncharacteristic act of defiance, Josh jerked back the hands that had been caressing Noah’s body and pushed himself up on his forearms. His eyes were strangely sad as he met Noah’s impatient gaze.

  “I’m serious,” Josh said. “You always say please, as if I need persuasion to be with you. You know I don’t. I love doing this for you as much as for myself.”

  Did he? Was he getting enough out of this? Maybe, but he was touching on something that dug way deeper than they were ready to handle. Noah had about ten minutes before he needed to check on Indy, he had a desperate need to find release, and if nothing else,
he had a straining cock that was about to find its own way into Josh's ass. Enough with the talking.

  With one move, he flipped Josh off him and turned him on his stomach. He pushed himself up on both arms and, using his good leg, lowered himself on top of Josh.

  “Spread your legs,” he ordered Josh, the first time he had ordered him to do anything in bed. He bit his tongue to avoid adding the ‘please’ Josh apparently resented so much.

  “Dammit, Josh, spread your legs!” he hissed when Josh didn’t respond, rubbing his cock against his friend’s ass.

  Josh lifted his head off the mattress, looked over his shoulder and met Noah’s eyes with a smoldering look. “Make me,” he challenged him.

  A roar thundered through Noah’s head. He forgot about his sore leg, he forgot about Indy, and he forgot about not wanting to order Josh around. A desperate need consumed him and filled every fiber of his being.

  “Oh, I’ll make you,” he growled. He rolled off Josh, linking one arm around him to yank them both on their sides in a spooning position. His right hand came around Josh, grabbing his cock in an iron fist. Josh wanted to challenge him? Challenge accepted. He would make him beg before he’d finally fuck him.

  Josh whimpered as Noah’s fist pumped up and down. Noah wriggled his left hand between them and found Josh's entrance with his thumb. He played around the tight hole, eliciting soft moans from Josh, as his own cock grew even harder. He pulled back a little and swiped some precum off his own cock, lubricating his thumb and index finger. Again, he teased around the entrance, while stroking Josh's cock till it was quivering in his hands.

  “Noah…” Josh whimpered again.

  “Noah, what? What do you want me to do?” Noah slid his index finger in Josh's tight hole. “Is that what you want?” He gave the long shaft in his hand a firm stroke. “Or is that what you want?”

  “More…” Josh's voice was hoarse and incredibly sexy.

  Noah added his middle finger in Josh's ass, moving in and out till the tight hole had made room for a third finger. He found Josh's sensitive spot without effort. Josh bucked against him, writhing in pleasure.

  “Is that what you want?” Noah asked again.

  When Josh didn’t answer, but merely kept gyrating his ass against Noah’s fingers, he pulled out and dropped his cock. He brought his mouth against Josh's ear. “Tell me what you want.”

  “Please.”

  Noah rubbed his straining cock against his lover’s ass cheeks. “Please, what?”

  Josh turned on his stomach and spread his legs wide open, giving Noah access to what he had sought all this time. “Please, fuck me…I need you inside me.”

  Noah reached behind him to grab a bottle of lube from the night table drawer. He squeezed out a glob and coated his throbbing cock. Wordlessly, he nestled himself between his lover’s legs and guided his cock into Josh's ass, pushing through the outer ring with ease.

  “Yes…” Josh sighed, pushing his ass farther back to pull Noah in deeper.

  “Is this what you want?” Noah asked again, forcing himself to pull back slightly.

  Why was he was doing this? It was never like this. Sex between them was supposed to be simple, uncomplicated. Simply fucking and nothing else. But tonight was different. He had rarely kissed Josh like that, and he had never, ever made him beg for it. Yet Josh wasn’t protesting. If anything, he was more turned on than usual.

  “Yes…no…I want more. I want all of you. Fuck me deep…Noah, please,” Josh pleaded, pulling his knees up, basically kneeling in front of Noah, his ass wide open for the taking.

  “As you wish.” With one strong move, Noah slammed his cock home, all the way to the hilt.

  Josh groaned low and deep, ground his ass against Noah. Noah pulled back slightly and set a steady rhythm, gripping Josh's hips and thrusting deep with every move.

  Josh's head craned back, and he growled from deep in his chest. “Yes, that’s it. Harder, fuck me harder.”

  His cock buried to his balls in Josh's tight hole, Noah sucked in a shallow breath. Damn, he needed this.

  “Oh, so good…” Josh gasped. He fisted the sheets, kneeling even deeper. His whole body shook with the impact of Noah’s trusts. “Don’t stop…so deep…so good…”

  Noah’s ears barely picked up the words over the sound of his own panting breaths. His body thrummed, his cock feasting on the slick heat inside Josh. Forgotten was the pain in his leg, replaced by a singular focus on his dick. God, the pressure…It was incredible. His balls drew close to his body, getting ready to unload.

  Josh was almost there as well, his hands restlessly fisting the bed. Noah had never come first when they fucked, and he didn’t intend to break that habit.

  Josh's whole body tensed, a signal Noah knew well. He lowered himself onto Josh's back and brought his mouth to his lover’s ear.

  “You have four more thrusts to come…” he said between panting breaths. “One.”

  He pulled himself out all the way, then slammed home. God, his balls ached, and his thighs started to shake. So fucking close.

  Josh trembled at the impact, his body taut with tension. “Two.”

  Another massive shove. “Three.”

  Noah’s right hand let go of Josh's hip and circled his lover’s straining cock. “And four. Come for me, Joshua.”

  He buried himself again, while jacking Josh's cock once. Josh threw his head back and grunted, blowing his cum all over Noah’s hand and the bed. His body shuddered, twitched, his back slick with sweat under Noah’s abs.

  Noah released the tight grip he had on himself. His balls detonated, and his orgasm thundered through him. He pumped into Josh wildly, hot cum blasting up the length of his dick.

  “Ugh! Fuuuck!”

  With his last bit of strength he pulled out and slumped on his back, his chest heaving as he sucked in air. His upper body was drenched in sweat.

  “Noah?”

  Noah’s stomach turned sour at the insecurity in Josh's voice. What have I done? Did I make Josh relive his darkest nightmare?

  “Come here,” Noah mumbled, blindly reaching for his friend. When his hands found Josh, he pulled him on top of him, their spent cocks finding each other in brotherhood. He wrapped his arms around Josh, putting his lover’s head on his shoulder. As always, Josh was careful to avoid his stump, putting most of his weight on his own legs. Cuddling like this after sex wasn’t their thing, but hey, nothing was going as usual today, so why stop here?

  “Are you okay?” Josh asked softly.

  Despite himself, Noah smiled a little. Even after all this time, it still baffled him that silent, shy Josh turned into a talker after sex. For some reason, Josh was at his most insecure right after his release.

  “Yeah. You?”

  “Are you kidding me? You went total caveman on me.”

  Noah froze. Fuck. You fucked up, Flint.

  He swallowed, but the lump in his throat persisted. If he had hurt Josh, if he’d brought back memories for him, had damaged what they had together, he would never forgive himself.

  “I’m sorry. Don’t know what came over me,” he said softly.

  Josh lifted his head up, looking Noah in the eyes. “It wasn’t a complaint. That was the best sex we’ve ever had. Fuck, Noah, you were a beast.” He let his head fall back on Noah’s chest, his cheek still damp against Noah’s skin.

  “Oh,” Noah said. What the fuck had just happened? At least he hadn’t hurt Josh, on the contrary, it seemed. God, the sex had been off the charts hot.

  Just then, his alarm went off. He reached for his phone on the nightstand, silenced it. When he slid back, their still-slick cocks brushed up against each other. Much to his surprise, his cock stirred again.

  What the hell? They had never fucked twice in one night. Noah usually came twice, but that was because his second orgasm was the one that brought so much relief. Usually Josh would give him a hand job, or he’d jack off again himself.

  Josh pushed himself up on his arms an
d kissed Noah softly, purposely sliding his groin against Noah’s. “Glad to feel you agree with my assessment. I’m game for another round when you’re done checking on Indy…” He kissed Noah once more and rolled off him with care.

  What was he supposed to say to that? Noah stared at Josh's bare back for a few seconds, unable to find adequate words. The rules were changing at such blinding speed that he couldn’t keep up. The kissing, the explosive sex, the tenderness afterward, and now Josh asking for sex all of a sudden. This is becoming so fucking complicated.

  His body disagreed with his analysis, because the mere thought of another round of that was enough to make him hard again. Maybe he should stop overthinking it all and go with it. Fuck knew he had a tendency to see problems where there were none.

  He took a deep breath. Stop thinking. Just feel. He leaned over Josh, rubbing his stubbled chin against the soft skin on Josh's arm. With his right hand he found Josh's ass again, which was still dripping. He easily slipped a finger in.

  “You still want more?”

  Josh gasped in surprise, then ground his ass against Noah’s hand in a circular motion. “Always,” he breathed. “Whatever you can give me.”

  His words stabbed Noah through the heart. You’re such a bastard for doing this, for needing Josh and making him need you. Fuck, he had to give more, had to even the score, make it up to Josh. But how?

  The answer was simple, wasn’t it? He could offer something he’d never considered before. Noah closed his eyes. Feel, don’t think. He brought his mouth against Josh's ear, meanwhile inserting another finger in his ass. There was something deliciously dirty about feeling his own cum in there. Josh's hole sucked his fingers in greedily. Shit, Josh really loved being fucked, didn’t he?

  “I’ll check on Indy. When I get back, I’ll suck your gorgeous cock for two minutes…Two minutes of sweet mouth-fucking, and that’s it. I suggest you’d better make damn sure you’re hard as steel when I get back so you’ll be able to blow your load in under two minutes. If you succeed, I’ll give you a reward you won’t ever forget… Me,” he said hoarsely.