Haunted

by Merrill, R. L.

  Star rubbed at his hair like he does when he gets flustered and spoke up. “Look, the only chicks we’ve spent much time around were either the prissy girls from back home who wouldn’t give us the time of day, or groupies who wanted to give it to us any time of day, you know what I mean? So I guess in our experience, there are only two types of girls; those who do and those who don’t. And, well, you’re cool, so I just figured even though you obviously aren’t a groupie, you’d, you know, had some experience. Plus, you’ve been, like, to college and stuff and...I don’t know. I guess I’m digging myself in deeper here.”

  “No, I’m glad you said something. At least it wasn’t because I have tattoos. And for the most part you are right. Most women I know have had sex by now. It just hasn’t come up for me, so to speak.”

  We all snickered at that one.

  “That’s what she said,” Star coughed loudly.

  “Well, it has now," Mage sputtered. “Damn, girl, you should have seen Devon working out yesterday morning. I’ve been working out like that every morning since we left L.A. Being left high and dry will do that to a guy.”

  I blushed at that. So they at least knew there was some activity going on. “Yeah, well, he didn’t think a cold shower was going to cut it.”

  They all burst out laughing.

  Mage rubbed at his mouth and sent me a heated glance. “No offense, babe, but I’d have to agree with him. Not finishing leaves a man in pain. Especially with someone as fine as you.”

  “Golly, Mage. You sure know how to make a gal blush,” I purred to him and batted my eyelashes. The others laughed and Mage pretended to have to rearrange himself. I didn’t want to know whether he was pretending or not.

  “What about you guys? Are you all unattached? Or do you have a girl in every city just waiting to service you?”

  They all blushed and seemed more embarrassed than anything.

  “I’m not going to lie, Jay. When we are on tour and when we were in L.A. we all had girls whenever we wanted. We were pretty stupid about it, too. I had a girlfriend for a while, but she hated all the other chicks hanging around, didn’t trust me. She didn’t really have a reason to trust me.”

  Jade looked a little sad and Mage bumped him. “Dude, you were better off without her anyway. She had ‘gold digger’ stamped on her ass, for real.”

  Jade shrugged. “I know. But man, did she give great...Ah, sorry, Jaylene.”

  I laughed and pushed at his leg. “Ok, new rules. If I’m going to be hanging out with you, you’ve got to stop being afraid to talk normal in front of me. I’m really ok with it. I’ll let you know if I’m not. Just like I did this morning.”

  They all got a serious look on their faces.

  Star took my hand in his. “Jaylene, I am so sorry about that. Even though we might be a little slutty, we try to be respectful. Disgracing girls is never ok. Why Marcus had to go and say that...”

  Mage was nodding. “Yeah. He’s a jackass. Marcus is probably just pissed that Devon will be off the market. The two of them hung out a lot, if you know what I mean, and Marcus probably hates losing his wingman.”

  I raised an eyebrow at him. “His wingman, eh?” That probably just exposed Devon’s second in Amsterdam. Figures. “I guess they’ll just have to work that out.”

  “Jay, I don’t want to say anything that will make you think poorly of Devon, that’s not my intention,” Star said.

  I shook my head. “We talked. I know he’s been with women. I’m not so naive to think that him being a rock star isn’t going to be a challenge. We’ll just have to see what happens, right?” I tried to sound confident, but I’m sure Star saw through that.

  “If he does anything stupid, you can be sure we will kick his ass.” Jade looked concerned.

  I shook my head. “No. Whatever happens is between him and I, ok? I certainly don’t want to get in between anyone else in this group. It’ll be what it’ll be. But let’s get back to the questions. You wanted to know whether I was worthy, right?”

  Jade’s expression was horrified. “That’s not it at all! Hell, you’re too good for us! I already know that. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t have a boyfriend or husband hiding in the wings or anything. Now that we have that established...wait, what about any stalkers or psycho exes?”

  “Not a one. Ok, what else you want to know?”

  Mage said, “How about religious preference? Are you Catholic?”

  I shook my head. “Nope. My father was raised Baptist but had no love for church so I never went. I did a little reading in college and fell in love with the pagan religions. Somehow worshipping Mother Earth made more sense than some dude with a beard.” Mage was looking at me with that wondrous gaze again. “What is it now, Mage?”

  He shook himself. “Nothing. But if you ever decide Devon’s not for you, you better watch out because I’ll be all over you.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  Jade socked him. “Ow, what the fuck? I’m not going to do anything about it. I’m just going to have a little crush on her.” He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek.

  I pinched him on his cheek and the other guys laughed.

  “I’ll keep you in mind, Mage.”

  He held his hand to his heart and sighed.

  Star rubbed his hands together. “What’s your favorite tattoo that you have on you and what’s the favorite one you’ve done? I can’t help it, I love your work and all of your tattoos are so awesome.”

  I smiled and thanked him.

  “You’re so cute, Star. This is an easy one. Favorite tattoo I’ve done? Probably the one I just did on Daryl of his daughters. They are absolutely the most beautiful little girls and the innocence and happiness in that picture really came across in the finished piece. Great subject to work with, great finished product.” I hoped it was healing well. I wanted to take some professional pictures of it to put on my website. It was such a beautiful tattoo. “Now, my favorite one I have on me? Probably my laughing skull.” I stood up and pulled up the back of my shorts to expose the back of my thigh. On it I had designed a tattoo with my favorite quote and a laughing skull.

  Star read the words to the other guys who were craning their necks to get a look. “Whoa, that’s really cool. What’s that from?”

  I tried to look serious. “Only one of the most important composers of our time.” They all looked at each other, confused. I couldn’t take it, afraid they’d never get it. “They are lyrics from the song ‘Only Makes Me Laugh.” I waited a beat to see if they’d pick up on it.

  Mage threw up his hands. “I have no idea. Who is it by?”

  I gasped at them and shook my head. “I am shocked! I thought you guys were thoroughly geeky like me. I’ll be right back.”

  I ran to my room, grabbed my iPod and brought it back. There was a docking station with a speaker near the TV so I found the song and played it for them. Star snapped his fingers like he recognized something.

  “Wait, I’ve heard that voice. Isn’t that Danny Elfman?”

  I nodded. “Yep! Before he was a big time composer for the movies he was in an awesome band called Oingo Boingo.”

  They laughed at the name but they were enjoying the music. We all curled up on the couch and listened to the words.

  “Wow, that’s kind of cool. I like the vibe. What kind of music is this?”

  I shrugged at Jade’s question. “They were an alternative band in the ‘80’s. I just really like their stuff.”

  We finished the song and Star smiled at me.

  “I like it. Especially the part about hitting the bottom.” He was lying on his back with his head toward me and I patted his head.

  “I know. It’s good, yeah? That’s why I had to have it. It was the first one that I designed for myself.”

  He smiled and closed his eyes.

  I wanted some answers, too. “It’s my turn now. This question goes out to all of you. What is the best thing and what is the worst thing about
being in Maggie’s Bones, one of the top-selling, hottest rock bands in the world?”

  They scoffed at that. There was some grumbling.

  “No, I answered yours, you have to answer mine and be honest!

  They looked at each other like they couldn’t decide who should go first. Finally Mage sighed and said, “I’ll go. The best thing? Seeing the world. We’ve been to some amazing places! I never would have been to Germany or France or Japan if I had stayed in Houma. I love traveling.”

  “I would imagine that would be wonderful. Maybe after you can tell me what your favorite place to visit has been. I haven’t left the country yet.” His eyes bugged out like I’d shocked him with my comment.

  “There’s so much to see. There’s still a lot I haven’t seen, but I'm going to have to travel when we’re not on tour. That kind of traveling means hotel rooms, arenas or clubs, maybe a restaurant...well, except when Maggie made us go to museums and shit. I liked that.”

  “Me too,” said Jade. “I loved the Louvre.”

  They all agreed on that.

  “Alright, Mage. The worst part?”

  He sighed. “The business part. Having to kiss asses and be at photo shoots, videos, shit like that. I miss the times when it’s just us playing and when we get to meet with fans. The music is spiritual for me. I never feel closer to peace than up on that stage playing with my boys.”

  I smiled at him and felt my eyes filling with tears. “That’s really cool. Thank you.”

  He nodded and stretched out on his end of the couch.

  “Jade you’re next.”

  His grin was a combo of shy and sly. “I hope this doesn’t come out wrong, but my favorite part has been the ladies.” The other guys rolled their eyes and we all laughed. “I know, that sounds bad. But seriously, women are amazing to me and I’ve gotten to meet all shapes, sizes, colors, and they’re all beautiful, man! And when they’re out there all screaming for us and dancing, that’s just a good fuckin’ time, am I right?”

  “Not to mention the benefits, right?” I couldn’t help ribbing him a little.

  He blushed. “Yeah, there are perks. I try to be good and just sign autographs and stuff, but when they come to the hotel or are hanging around the bus? It’s too tempting. Especially if there’s a couple of them and they, well, you know.” He licked his lips and grinned.

  “Alright, we get the picture. What about the worst thing?”

  His face fell and his eyes were suddenly wet. I almost didn’t think he was going to answer me but then his voice came out low. “The fighting. I hate fighting and that’s all we’ve been doing for months. Even before Maggie died. We were fine while we were recording the last album, all excited about touring to support it. But then we started partying all the time, Devon wasn’t ever happy with anything and he was on edge all the time. Maggie wasn’t happy because of Thomas. Star you were a mess and Mage, I don’t know. You and I were just doing our thing, right? Until the release party?”

  Mage nodded. “Yeah, I kept telling everyone I had a bad feeling. Every fiber of my being knew that we were headed for tragedy. I couldn’t tell them how or why and no matter how much I told people they needed to get their shit together. It just spiraled out of control. I was having dreams constantly that I couldn’t explain. The night before the party I even talked to Marcus on the phone and told him I thought we should cancel, that something bad was going to happen. He just blew me off and told me about all the pussy that was going to be there, just waiting for me. Unfortunately for Maggie, that night I was just as wasted as everyone else. I’d even been doing lines with Thomas so I knew how fucked up he was. I should have stopped her from leaving with him.”

  Jade hugged him. “C’mon, man. You didn’t know that was what the tragedy was going to be. None of us had any clue. And she didn’t tell us how bad things were with Thomas.”

  Jade turned to me and said, “We only knew he was an ass to everyone else. We didn’t really know how bad he was treating her. I hate what happened. I hate it that we didn’t know what to do.”

  A tear rolled down his face and I hugged him to me. He held on and cried, Mage rubbing his back from the other side. Star was silently crying to my left and I reached over and grabbed his hand. He squeezed back.

  I took in a deep breath. “I’ll tell you guys what I told Devon. Maggie was going to do what she was going to do. I can tell you from experience that women in those relationships usually don’t respond well to pressure from family and friends. They have a tendency to push people away who don’t support them. She knew you guys didn’t like Thomas, right?” They nodded. Jade sniffled and rubbed his nose on the back of his arm. “So if you told her he was no good for her and she should leave, how do you think she’d respond?” They shook their heads and were quiet. “I can tell you she most likely would have told you to stay out of it, she had it handled. Like she said to you, Star, ‘I got this, don’t I always got this?’” He nodded and sobs wracked his body. He threw an arm over his eyes and cried. I let that sink in for a bit and then I said. “She knew you guys loved her. That was the most important thing. If she would have lived, she would have eventually gone to one of you for help. She wouldn’t want you to blame yourselves.”

  I wasn’t sure if they were hearing me until Jade said in a whisper. “I miss her so much. I really, really miss her.” The others murmured their agreement and the four of us just sat there holding each other for a while.

  Then Star said in a shaky voice, “You want to know what my best and worst are?”

  “Of course, Star. You go.”

  He took his arm off his eyes and stared straight at the ceiling. “The drugs.”

  I waited to see if he’d continue but I had an idea what he meant.

  “The drugs were the best when I had them. They were everywhere, they were free, and they were plentiful. I didn’t have to feel anything if I didn’t want to. I could do whatever I wanted to and not worry about the consequences. It was the best. And then it wasn’t. It was the worst because I hated who I was. I hated how I felt, how I treated all of you and everyone around me. I hated how much like my father I sounded whenever anyone would try to confront me. And I hate what it did to Maggie.” He was holding my hand tightly and I rubbed my thumb over his knuckles to let him know I was there for him.

  Jade said quietly, “I hated what they did to you too, Star. I missed you. I’m glad you’re back.”

  They smiled at each other and Star let go of my hand to do a bro handshake with him.

  Mage just smiled and said, “You are one of the strongest people I know Star, and I’m so glad you are better. I will do whatever it takes to make sure you stay that way.”

  Star smiled sadly at him and said, “Thanks, buddy, but it’s up to me to do whatever it takes to make sure I stay this way. I know you guys are here for me if I need you, but I have to do this by myself.”

  Mage nodded.

  We sat there in silence for a bit in various embraces when Mage cleared his throat. “Uh, guys? I’m glad we had this talk and all but can we finish the movie now? My favorite part is coming up.”

  We all laughed and untangled ourselves.

  “Let me take a bathroom break and I’m good to go.”

  They got up to do the same and to stretch. It was late, but I was still wired and I hadn’t seen this movie in forever. I hurried to my room to take care of business. I decided to get more comfy so I changed into my jammies and grabbed a pillow from the bed. I glanced at my phone before running back out the door and decided to check for messages. Devon had left a voicemail an hour ago.

  “Hey beautiful. I hope you aren’t answering because you’re having fun with my boys, as long as it’s not too much fun. I miss you like crazy already, but I’m glad I came to do what I needed to do. Don’t worry about calling me back tonight, I just wanted to say I love you and then I’m going to sleep. I think I can actually sleep and maybe my dreams of you will chase the bad dreams away. Goodnight, chère.”

/>   I clutched the phone to my ear and shivers ran through me. He loves me. How much more amazing could this man be? I thanked whoever was responsible for this miracle because that’s what it was. I came in here thinking I couldn’t work miracles, but I’d certainly gotten one.

  With a smile on my face I bounced back over to the couches. The guys had grabbed some blankets and turned the lights out. I went back to my place and the four of us curled back up together. Star and I shared my pillow with our bodies pointing opposite directions. Jade and Mage did the same on the other side. These couches were huge, but the guys still had to hang their legs over the ends. Jade was using the ottoman for his, which didn’t look comfortable.

  Mage turned the movie back on, I’m sure, because in my mind, I was dreaming the shower scene but instead of Dee Dee it was Devon in the shower playing his guitar for me. I sighed deeply and the last thing I remembered was being under the hot spray with him, our mouths on each other.

  Chapter Sixteen

  My next conscious thought was that there was an earthquake happening and I was trapped under something heavy. The noises I heard sounded like a chainsaw cutting away at something. It was hot and I was sticking to whatever surface I was on. When I opened my eyes in the dim morning light, I first recalled that I was in New Orleans and that they didn’t have earthquakes here. The next revelation I had was that the source of the earthquake was Jade, who had somehow managed to swing his legs on top of me and one of them was twitching. The chainsaw noise was Star snoring away on the floor where he’d rolled off the couch. I noticed he’d pilfered my pillow in the process. Lastly, the heat and stickiness were because my face was smushed into the leather couch and I was stuck to it with my own sweat and drool. Mage was lying half on, half off the couch, one leg swung over the back and the other hanging off the end. None of us could have gotten a good night sleep in this mess.