Forbidden To Love (The Erosians)

by D Wills

“You call being approached in the hall and being asked if you were ok drama. You clearly aren’t from around here, are you?” He doesn’t give me chance to answer. “Don’t worry; from now on I’ll stay well away.” He examines me once more and shakes his head. “I’m not even sure why I bothered to come to talk to you in the first place. I guess what everyone says about you is true.” He walks backwards away from me shaking his head in disappointment. With one final glare at me, me, he takes off out of the school and out of my dreams.

  Damnation?

  ~3~

  How am I supposed to explain to Allana what I’ve done? Why was I so stupid almost telling a mortal what I am! I’m drowning in regret for betraying Allana like this; after all the sacrifices she’s made for me.

  At the time of my creation, Allana had already been suffering from over a century of abuse from Eros. Unlike Amora and me; Zeus had Allana created to be in love with Eros, which meant no matter how horrible he was to her, or how many times he told her that he didn't want her, she would still follow him to the ends of the earth - literally. Allana is so gentle and kind and holds no grudge against me, unlike Amora, even though we are all each other’s unwilling rivals.

  I glance to the clock on the dash where the digital number is turning into a nine; I’ve been sitting here for thirty-six minutes and I can’t sit in my drive for much longer watching the numbers tick by. Putting the confession off isn’t going to make explaining easier but every time I think about how best to go about admitting what I’ve done, the empty look Josh gave me when he shook his head and walked away from me reappears in my mind; his behaviour was dismissive, final.

  Worse than the image was when part of my body tried to lunge after him. I honestly thought my heart was going to break through my ribcage, just to get closer to him.

  He’s doing all this to you, the rational side of my brain tries to tell me, but I can’t imagine this all being an act to be true. Guess he could be a brilliant actor.

  Most Gods do possess some theatrical talent or his confusion and anger could because I’d figured out his game earlier than planned and he will be in a world of trouble when Amora gets hold of him.

  The two of them having this secret agreement seems more and more plausible. More plausible than the alternative; my ‘other half’ has appeared before me. No way in hell Zeus would commission a mortal to be created for me to love. My union in love would result in all kinds of misery.

  A barrage of leaves thuds against my windshield, bringing me back to the real world. Fall is nearly here and so is Eros’ one year deadline. The wind continues to drag the leaves from their branches, turning the driveway into a carpet of gold flecked with deep ambers and rusty oranges. I stare up at the only home I’ve ever known. The house isn’t vast and appears the same as all the other white wooden boarded houses on this street.

  This part of town is all pretty similar in appearance. There are loads of groups of houses like this one dotted near the coast, all of them are slowly being suffocated by a salty air that gets thicker everywhere morning.

  I can’t put telling Allana off any longer. If I'm using the weather for a distraction, I'm truly out of options.

  Trudging through the thickening blanket of leaves to the front door I try to keep my hands on my bag and coat as I take a battering from the sporadic gusts. How has the weather turned so quickly? I can’t believe I was bathing in the sun only hours ago. But then nothing has been the same since I saw him.

  “Hello”

  There’s no response from anywhere in the house. Dropping my bag, I go to the fridge to grab my elixir, the only thing I eat or drink while I'm here. Back in Olympus I can enjoy normal stuff, but if I taste food here the texture is like cardboard. The elixir is more than enough to keep us sustained anyway. The gorgeous golden liquid tastes like a honey smoothie which should be as calorific as double chocolate fudge cake topped with fudge sauce and served with a bucket of ice cream!

  I perch myself at the breakfast bar. If I go upstairs to my room to wait for Allana to come home; there’s a chance I’ll never come down and confess to what I’ve done. I stare out of the window onto the back yard. The stretch of lawn grows into the few trees at the back.

  They quickly morph into characters from my day and become the stage for my latest encounter with Josh. I’m forced into a front row seat for a play I never bought tickets for. Seeing the performance a second time round; I figure the most likely explanation is that he’s angry about blowing his cover because I found him out so quickly. But if I'm not that lucky; then he doesn’t know Amora or what I am and isn’t one of us.

  The ‘what ifs’ are starting to weigh me down; I drop my head to the table totally confused. If the latter is true, then the only person who has ever tried to make any sort of relationship with me now thinks I'm a nutcase. But if the former is true, I’m the centre of some cruel joke I don’t know the punch line to; and there’s a new God to figure out, who has coincidentally emerged as Eros's one year deadline gets closer.

  My second explanation has to be right, he isn’t a God. Surely if, he were, Allana would’ve told me about him, especially if he was going to appear at the same school I'm working in. Allana would have had to have shown him the ropes as she did with Amora and me, unless I was right and he was made before even Allana was.

  There would be no sense in having a male Erosian created. Allana, Amora and I were only created to try to stop Eros from causing devastation in the mortal world.

  I'm told Zeus honestly did try every way he could think of to stop Eros from behaving so wildly, but Eros was hurt he’d messed up his relationship with his true love and so he really went with the notion; ‘If I can’t experience love, no one can’.

  The mortal divorce rate went through the roof in those years! More dangerous than the world becoming a loveless hell were the crimes of passion that were committed. A lot of blood was shed.

  Allana told me Zeus ignored Eros’s rampage to begin with. He hoped Eros only had to work the anger out of his system, but after the first drop of human blood he had to do something. The mortals are Zeus’ and he wasn’t going to stand back and watch them rip each other apart.

  He couldn’t kill Eros or send him away because Zeus’ daughter, Aphrodite wouldn’t give permission for the death of her son. Zeus instead had Prometheus create Allana in the hope she would pacify Eros’ anger. Theoretically the plan was plausible. Allana is beautiful and is an exact copy of Pscyhe, the love Eros gave up. She even loved Eros in the same unconditional way Psyche did.

  But Eros wouldn’t settle for a fake, and he hated Allana from the second he saw her. Zeus urged Eros to try with Allana, to give love a chance to develop. Reluctantly he did, but only because Zeus promised he would give him his true love in return. Allana and Eros spent years roaming the earth together starting romances, and they became close, brother and sister close.

  I'm told Eros came to Zeus one night unable to stand being apart from Psyche any longer and begged Zeus to give her to him. Their reunion was never to be; Eros had joined Psyche to her husband all those years ago under the instruction of his mother and their bond was only breakable through death. Zeus couldn’t justify killing one of his subjects for the selfish reasons of a God, especially when the God requesting the murder was the one to blame.

  Instead he had Prometheus create Amora; the most breathtaking creature since Helen of Troy, in the hope Eros, would be so astounded by her beauty he would fall instantly in love with her. Amora’s unimaginable attractiveness didn't work either. Luckily for me, or I wouldn’t exist.

  Amora didn't take the rejection quite as well as Allana. She became bitter and resentful, and threw herself at any male, mortal or otherwise, who would take her and she also hates me because I was made because she failed. I am a constant reminder not every man finds her irresistible.

  “Hey when did you sneak in?” I'm so involved in my history I didn't hear Allana coming in.

  “I don’t know. What time is it?” Allan
a jumps onto the stool next to me. She’s got her businesswoman attire on, the cream wrap around shirt and dark brown trousers. With her jet black hair cut short into a crop, she should appear harsh and severe, but her thick eyelashes flutter like butterflies presenting her true kindness and grace. I guess she’s like a nice aunt who you can pour your heart out to.

  “Just after four, you ok?” she stares at me with a probing expression as if she can see something I'm desperately trying to mask, which I am because I don’t know how to tell her about what’s happened.

  “I'm fine. I’ve only be home half an hour. Where you been?” I ask to try desperately to divert attention from me.

  “Coffee House,” she announces proudly. “I always enjoy hooking up people in coffee shops. I love the glances across the room, the 'Will he come to me, should I go to him?' dilemma. Watching them helps kill the time. Now stop trying to change the subject - what’s wrong?”

  I should have known there would be no chance of keeping my dilemma hidden from Allana. Now Amora, she’s so self-obsessed she wouldn’t pay attention even if I’d suddenly sprouted another head, unless it had a prettier face than hers.

  Allana is still staring at me. I know I can do this the long dragged-out way where I come to her in a few hours and confess all, or I can come clean now.

  “I think I told someone what we are.” I force the words from my lips and instantly wish I could ram them all back in. Sitting sheepishly I wait for her reproach, not that I’ve ever witnessed Allana mad, but if I remember correctly from training, one thing she told me never to do was to reveal what we are. She warned me that if I gave away our secret, then I’d be brought before the Board of the Fates - or worse the wrath of the Furies! If I’m ever going to see Allana mad now’s the time.

  Allana stays quiet. She looks at me patiently, waiting for me to continue with the story. I match her silence, not sure which bit to tell her first. She raises her eyebrows telling me to start.

  “Well … I saw this guy …, and I was scanning for auras, to make matches… and I stopped on him because there was no aura … and I walked over to him, not because I wanted to talk to him but because I wanted to check he definitely didn’t possess an aura. I thought maybe the sun was perhaps masking his aura. I walked over to him and ended up staring, and he saw I was staring, so I ran off and he came to talk to me in the hall. I couldn’t stop thinking about him, so I confronted him when he came to find me again, and

  I told him that I knew what he was, and I knew he knew what I was, and I knew he knew he was working for Amora, to wind me up, and I … ”

  Allana shushes me and pats my shoulders in an attempt to calm me from the frenzy I’ve worked myself up into. I take a few deep breaths, relieved I’ve told most of the story. I’m not going to share with Allana the effect he had on my feelings. I’ll keep my emotional explosions to myself for now.

  “Everything’s ok. Listen, did you actually tell him what you are?” Allana places her hands on the tops of my arms and squeezes gently.

  I think clearly over my conversation with Josh. “No, I didn’t.” I shake my head as a mad smile invades my face. I never told him what I am.

  Allana sits back into her seat, folding her arms as her brow wrinkles slightly in thought. “Then don’t worry. We aren't jeopardized in any way. Chances are he probably thinks you’re a little crazy.”

  I groan as she reaches her hand out and rubs my arm. Something is off about her expression, though. She keeps her eyes fixed to the counter in front of her. Allana is usually remarkably easy to read. Her life sucks more than mine she’s always going to be in love with Eros, but he will never return it, and she has to live with the two others who were made for the man she loves, to love!

  “So you don’t think he’s some rogue God come to get me?”

  “No, I’d know if another God is here; especially at your school. Probably going to be for the best though if you just stay away from him for now”

  “I hope I can! Being near him almost killed me; I had these pains they were burning me alive the feeling was horrible and then he looked at me and every hurtful sensation stopped, the whole thing was unbelievably weird"

  Already my insides are starting to smoulder again, desperate for his touch to soothe the pain. Allana starts to wring her hands, and her brow furrows in concentration.

  “What about him being some puppet of Amora’s?”

  Her forehead smoothes as eyebrows shoot up into her hairline.

  “I –“

  The front door crashing open interrupts whatever she was about to say as Amora comes striding in. The last of the day’s sun glints in her golden hair, which is still perfectly styled despite the gale blowing outside.

  I turn to her and even though I see her every day I'm still in awe of her beauty. The sparkle in her violet eyes, which she always gets when she enters a room, is brighter than usual. Luckily her attitude more than counter-balances her attraction – guess everything balances somewhere.

  Allana interrupts my thoughts. “Why don’t you go do whatever pointless homework you’ve got? You can’t slip behind now, can you?” She smiles at me, but I can tell she’s having to force the grin. Something’s not quite right; I'm guessing they’ve argued today at some point. Allana does her best to tolerate Amora and her volatile moods, but even saints snap.

  As I leave the room, Amora’s mumbling tickles my senses. I may be able to hear all mortals from any distance, but when I'm with older Gods, I may as well be a mortal.

  My substandard senses around immortals are only temporary though. The more experience I get, the more powerful my abilities become, so one day I’ll be able to hear them no matter how far they are if I get to live past the deadline.

  My powers advancing in the future won't help me now though; I need to know what they’re about to discuss. There will be no chance of getting any information if I go upstairs, so I walk back to the kitchen door and hide myself at the side of the wall. I know eavesdropping is wrong, but there’s more about our situation Allana isn’t telling me.

  “Is he a puppet of yours, then?” Allana asks curtly.

  Amora giggles, “Maybe”

  My breath catches in my throat.

  “Amora,” Allana scolds

  “Of course not,” Amora snaps back and I let out a deep breath. Phew!

  “There are more important things in my life than messing with that irritating brat upstairs. Looks like she’s in a bit of a situation, though” her voice is thick with delight, “Maybe I should take a quick trip to Olympus and speak to …” “You don’t need to tell him anything.” Allana’s voice is tense, her anger towards Amora finally surfacing.

  “You know as well as I do if she does anything, she’s finished.” Amora’s conceited voice rings clear. She wants the threat she’s making to reach me.

  “My scars from Eros are still raw, not like you need reminding of what he is capable of doing - do you?”

  Oh my God, what would Eros do? Am I really in so much trouble because I sort of told a mortal, who I'm still not entirely convinced, is a mere mortal, I'm something more? I guess Allana has edited our history more than I thought. She never mentioned anything to me about Eros doing anything to cause scars.

  “Acacia hasn’t done anything, and I’ve told her to stay away from him”

  “Please Allana wake up! The searing pain she described you know it was the flames of love, they’ve burned her. Like what I'm saying or not but she’s joined to that boy and Eros is going to bring all the power of the Furies against her for her infatuation”

  I barge into the kitchen this is about me and I want answers!

  “What are you talking about? Flames of love and Eros causing scars, what don’t I know about us?”

  “A lot!” Amora scoffs as she hops up onto the counter. I stare at her open mouthed as Allana shoots her a warning shot.

  “What are the flames of love?” I ask Allana knowing she’s most likely to tell me the truth, but there’s no s
hutting Amora up.

  “Did you feel like you were being set a light from the inside, and the scorching flames flew to the ends of your fingers to your tippy tippy toes!” Her laughter fills the kitchen as she toys with me.

  “And then let me guess, he looked at you, and everything was right with the world again!”

  “Amora stop” Allana’s voice is becoming tenser than I’ve ever witnessed.

  “No! And now let me guess he’s touched you in some way, and now there is no pain until he’s not there and then there is a smouldering ball of fire resting in the pit of your stomach ready to erupt if you don’t get near him soon!”

  “Allana I want to hear the truth; so what if that is what’s happening, what do the flames mean?” And holy Hades if she’s right what is Eros going to do!

  “You’ve been burned baby, and now he’s going to be your everything! You’re going to be so consumed by needing to be with him, you won’t be able to think straight – and Eros is going to kill you for falling in love when he finds out!”

  Satisfied with Allana’s furious glare and my open mouthed stare Amora jumps off the counter landing like a ballerina on the tips of her toes.

  “Ciao”

  And she’s gone. Allana slumps as her head falls into her hands.

  “Is she right; are these flames of love some skill we get? Can you set people alight to make them fall in love?”

  She sounds like she is to me everything fits! The searing pain, his calming effect and now I can’t stop thinking about him.

  “The whole thing sounds like it, but Acacia you need to stay away from him. We belong to Eros you can’t love another! And no starting the flames is not a skill any of us can possess. The flames of love are a power, which no one can control, when two halves meet the flames erupt by themselves”

  “Why though and don’t tell me because he lost his love and now no one can love because he didn't lose his love he threw her away! And if I’ve met my other half why must I give him up!” My voice becomes louder than I meant it to be, I don’t want to be mad at Allana, but this is all wrong.