Past Transgressions: A Russian Roulette Love Story

by Janae Keyes

  “You won’t hurt me, Alexei. I promise you. You won’t. Fuck me, take me, make me yours.” All I needed were her words of consent, and I allowed that part of myself to takeover.

  I flipped her to her stomach and pushed her onto her knees. The lust that overtook me from the sight of her round ass was almost too much, and I nearly blew my load there on her back. No, I had to be inside her, feeling her as I relentlessly pounded her tight hole.

  She moaned, it was almost as if she could sense my energy, knowing exactly how I needed her.

  Positioning myself at her entrance, I slid into her wetness. She was soaking for me. My raw needs made her wet, and she wanted my rough dominance. It was almost too perfect, the way she and I connected with one another, the way we didn’t need words to allow our fire to burn.

  I rocked into her, harder with each thrust. My nails dug into the skin of her hips. I was taking what I needed from her, and she was giving it willingly.

  “Oh God!” Rae screamed as I pounded her and roughly grabbed a tit into my hands. I had to feel her, no matter what, I wouldn’t let her go without feeling every bit of her. She’d asked me that in every time, I fucked her as if it was our last. I was fucking her as if I’d never see her for the rest of eternity.

  Letting go of her perfect tit, I gripped at her hair, taking possession of every part of her as she belonged to only me. The sweet pussy I fucked, had my name written on it, and her love would only find its way to me.

  It was all too much, and all too good. My balls tensed as I felt her closing around me, gripping me as her climax grew. It was time, and I reached around, slipping my fingers just over her clit, and there she fell.

  “Rae,” I grunted as she screamed her passion out.

  We fell to the bed together, I pulled her to my chest. Her hurried breaths and our beating hearts were my melody as I held her as tight as possible. Things could go south, and they could go quickly. I swallowed not knowing my fate.

  “I fucking love you. Always know this, Kisska.” I kissed the top of her head as she nodded.

  The small apartment of my aunt’s was crowded and stuffed to the brink with family. New Year’s Eve was almost bigger than Christmas in Russia, and we celebrated how we always did, with family.

  My hands held Rae’s hips, keeping her secured with me as I chatted with my great uncle who insisted on telling me about his ice fishing adventures. I nodded as she spoke and pulled Rae that much closer, my erection pressing against her behind. There would never be enough that I could have of Rae.

  “Rae, come,” Katya called from across the apartment where she stood with a few female cousins of ours that had traveled to the area for the evening.

  Rae slightly turned and peered up at me for my blessing to run off with my cousin who seemed to be off all evening. She’d creeped away from the party multiple times and was much quieter than usual.

  “Go, Kisska,” I whispered in her ear before she kissed my cheek and slipped away from my hold on her to spend time with her friend.

  I continued to act as if I was interested in my great uncle’s story, though the entire time I was watching my girl. Her smile was filled with joy, but her eyes held a sadness. I knew that sadness was about our days together ticking away. The week would pass quicker than we anticipated or hoped it would, and our goodbyes would have to be said.

  “Alright Uncle, I’m sure Alexei has no interest in coming to Siberia to ice fish with you.” I’d been saved by my mother who arrived with two shots of vodka in her hands. One she handed to me and the other she shot down as her uncle mumbled and left us together. “Rae looks beautiful tonight,” she mentioned as she nodded over to my girl who wore a sensual red dress that I wanted to rip from her body.

  “She does.”

  “Am I going to lose you to America?” my mom asked, slightly concerned, I chuckled.

  “No, I will always be here, but my heart, that will be in America.”

  “She’s good for you. I see this difference in your eyes, and it speaks volumes to the man you want to be for her. I know you changed and turned things around for me, but for her, you’re committed to being a better man.”

  It was unbelievable how my mom could know every ounce of truth there was in me. She’d been my closest confidant and the one person who believed the change that was in me.

  The young looking middle-aged blonde woman who birthed me gave me a look of contentment. She was happy because I was happy.

  “Did you fix your problem?” She asked. I knew she was speaking about Vadim. I shook my head. I hadn’t given an answer, and I hadn’t heard anything besides my strange phone call from Igor.

  “It will be fixed, but right now I want to enjoy my family and enjoy Rae while she’s here.”

  “Be smart about it, son. These men take no prisoners and take no shirt.”

  “Yes, I know.”

  “Let’s eat!” my Aunt Sofiia called from the kitchen, and almost instantly there was a mad rush for the kitchen. I spotted Rae across the room, a drink in her hand as she watched the mob attempt to be the firsts to enjoy the meal prepared by Sofiia and Babushka.

  I strode across the room as my mom left to try and manage the horde of family members. As I neared Rae, I saw a grin come to her beautiful face. I reached out and ran my thumb over her milk chocolate cheek.

  “I assume it is like this every holiday,” Rae mentioned as she nodded toward my fighting family members. I laughed and nodded as I pulled her into my arms.

  “New Year’s it is the biggest, Babushka makes her specialties. Nobody wants last, but I know secret they don’t.”

  “And that is?”

  “She has made much, but she won’t show now. So, I wait for everyone to kill other. After, I eat.”

  “Smart move.”

  “You doubt my smart?” I questioned playfully as I swatted her behind, making her giggle and squeal, while she shook her head.

  “Never,” she whispered.’

  It struck me there, the dangerous game I was playing. Her life was at risk because of my actions, because I didn’t stand up to handle my business.

  “Alexei, are you okay?” Rae asked me at once. I gave her a questioning look. “You shifted and looked to be in deep thought. I just want to know you’re okay.”

  I forced a smile at the woman who knew me better than I knew myself. She was able to sense it right away and worked to do what she could to fix my problem. The thing was, there was no fixing it cleanly, it would be messy, and I needed Rae gone before I could face it in the way I needed.

  “I’m fine,” I lied to her. I didn’t want to lie to her, but I wouldn’t bring her into the fray. I’d get that week, and by then Rae would be safely on an airplane back to the States, away from the dangers I presented her with.

  “Alexei,” her warm hand came to my chest, settling over my heart. “You can tell me anything.” She knew I was lying. That was what we shared, this connective bond that wouldn’t allow any secrets, but I had to keep this secret from her, I had no choice in the matter. Her life and safety were imperative.

  “It is nothing. All well, I give my promises.”

  From the look on her face, I knew she didn’t believe my lies, but I also knew for the moment, she would let it go in order to celebrate the day. I took her hand into mine and pulled her along towards the kitchen to get our food and drinks. The night was still young, and there was much more to come.

  After dinner, there was more drinking and spending time with those I cared for the most. It was how New Year’s was spent in Russia, with friends and family. We laughed and reminisced. Babushka brought out her old photo albums, and Rae giggled over the photos of me in diapers and falling down in the snow as a little one.

  Midnight was upon us, the countdown began, and we awaited the new year. My pledge was to enter the new year with a clean mind. I’d do all I could to put the life of my past behind me for good, and I would find a way to make it work with Rae. I knew I wanted her in my life until its fin
al days. I’d make her my wife and spend my days worshiping her and the ground she walked on.

  “Desiat’, deviat', vosem', sem', shest', piat', chityri, tri, dva, adin!” The entire room counted down together from ten to one. Rae at my side doing so in English.

  “S novym godom!” We shouted together.

  “Happy New Year,” Rae said softly as she peered up at me with a grin.

  At the stroke of midnight, I pulled her close and gazed into her dark brown eyes for just a brief moment before taking her lips with mine. I kissed her hard, and with everything I had, I wanted to wipe my slate clean with her lips.

  From my pocket, I produced a small velvet box. I handed it to Rae, who gave me a sweet smile before opening it. Inside there was a necklace, plain silver chain, and princess cut diamond pendant. I removed the necklace and had Rae turn for me as I slipped it onto her neck. She ran her fingertips over the pendant before kissing me quickly.

  “I love you,” I whispered on to her mouth.

  “I love you,” she whispered back before Katya came over and pulled her away, hugging her best friend.

  “Okay, now we party!” Katya cheered. “Let’s go change for club.”

  “I’ll be back,” Rae told me before she and Katya ran up the hall to change for the night we had ahead of us at my club. The big party of the night was to start as everyone would be heading out from their family celebrations to the clubs and my club was booked beyond capacity for the night.

  It wasn’t too long before the girls were back in matching silver dresses. I loved the way that Rae’s dress hugged her every curve tightly. The dress was just too short, and I prayed she wasn’t wearing any underwear.

  She came straight to me, and I put my arms around her waist and pulled her close, bringing my lips to hear ear, I took a quick nibble at her ear.

  “Do you wear panty?” I asked in a low voice. I felt the shiver that ran down her spine and grinned down at her as she stood on the tips of her toes and brought her lips just close enough to mine to brush against them.

  “No,” she breathed before quickly giving me a kiss and strolling towards Katya who waited at the door.

  The night would be good, nothing would bring it down. I’d brought in the new year with my unexpected love, and we would spend the entire morning in celebration. Through the evening, my phone had rang multiple times, but I ignored it, Vadim and his thugs would have to wait.

  Chapter 15

  Rae

  The pounding music filled me as Katya, and I hit the dancefloor. Alexei had some things to take care of to make sure everything was running smoothly, and I didn’t mind behind left with my best friend as the last few days we hadn’t spent much time together as I’d been with Alexei.

  Every available space in the club was filled to the brink, and there were sweaty bodies all around as we moved to the music. Alexei had been right, New Years was the occasion in Russia, and everyone was out, dressed to impress, and ready to party.

  Something had been off with Alexei since the morning. He continued to maintain that he was fine and everything was okay, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t exactly right with him. He’d checked his phone all evening and seemed frustrated at times.

  While moving with my friend, I glanced around the room in hopes of seeing my boyfriend. We only had another week together before I would be heading home. We both tried to avoid the subject in conversation and tended to keep things on the happier side. I’d never been a fan of long distance relationships, but I now understood the plight. There was someone you loved hard, but you had to be far away from them, you do everything you can to keep that love going, and I planned to.

  “Igor!” Katya yelled over the music as she pointed toward the door. I spotted her beau right away and realized Alexei was with him. They were talking, and it didn’t seem as if Alexei wanted to murder him. I was utterly surprised.

  Katya and I weaved through the crowd to the men. Igor pulled Katya close and kissed her hard before whispering something in her ear. With only a nod toward Alexei, he pulled Katya away with him and out of the front door of the club.

  “Do you have time to dance?” I asked, only wanting to steal one moment with my man. I knew he was busy as his club was obviously the hottest spot to celebrate the new year.

  “The time is always for you,” he answered with a grin before his strong hands pulled me onto the dancefloor.

  He held my hips tight as we moved together. Our bodies were heated through our movements and the alcohol flowing through our systems. I had this pure elation at the moment. Ms. Responsible had been set free, and Rae remained, happy and filled with a freedom I’d never felt before.

  I was grinding my ass onto Alexei’s firm erection. I was turned on, and my moisture had leaked onto my thighs. I needed him not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. The raw and intense feelings that took over my limbs were never talked about in textbooks, sex ed, or talks with my mother. These feelings were specific to Alexei and I, they tethered me to him in every way.

  “Come,” Alexei growled in my ear as he took my hand into his own and pulled me along, through the dancing club goers and to his private elevator.

  We stepped into the elevator, and he attacked me with all his fervor. It was messy and unpredictable, lips, teeth, and hands. We were all over one another, and when the door opened at his apartment, he yanked me with him, but we couldn’t make it all the way to his bed, he needed me right away.

  My body was bent over the arm of the couch, and my dress hiked up to reveal my soaking wet core that awaited him. And though he’d taken control, I wanted to give him something. I stood back up and turned to face him before slinking down to my knees.

  I made quick work of unbuttoning his belt and dragging his pants and underwear down his legs. My eyes were met with an anticipated sight, his leaking cock. I gasped at the buzzing between my legs and ached for him to be buried inside me, but first my gift to him.

  There was no time wasted as I stuck out my tongue, licking up the come he’d already leaked and pulling him into my mouth. My eyes met his as I gave him my gift. He looked as if I’d made all his dreams come true. My mouth wrapped around taking his arousal, tongue sliding up the base, before I plunged back down, taking him into my throat, but pulling back before I gagged.

  “Fuck, there is much too much,” he hissed before he pulled me up. “My come is not for mouth tonight.”

  Alexei made quick work of bending me back over the couch and taking my hands behind my back, pinning me down as he used his strength and dominance over me, it only turned me on more.

  When he took me, it was beautiful. Our connection was turned on at full blast, and he marked me as his as he’d done every time. The thoughts of the bruises I knew he’d leave on my hips, made me smile to myself. With his nails digging into my skin, I came around him.

  “Oh Alexei!” I screamed the moment the high hit me. “Oh, fuck me!”

  There was no doubt that Ms. Responsible had left the building long before as I screamed out for him.

  Alexei and I cleaned up, we took a sensual shower and only brought our connection to an all-time high. He cared for me in every way possible, without the thought of receiving anything from me in return besides my love.

  In only two weeks, my entire life had changed. What started as an innocent trip became an explosion of everything I held dear. There wasn’t any way I could return to the life I held before. Alexei and I were forever, period.

  With word that Katya and Igor were outside, Alexei held my hand as we wandered from the club and into the side alley where Katya stood against the wall, Igor a few feet away. I didn’t know what it was about the look in Katya’s eyes, but I knew something wasn’t exactly right.

  Katya mouthed something to Igor, and he pulled a gun from his waistband. My feet frozen in place, I didn’t know how to react or what to do as the boyfriend of my best friend stood with his gun pointed directly at her.

  “Alexei!
” Igor shouted as he began to speak in Russian. I didn’t know what the exchange was between the two men as they yelled, Alexei keeping a safe distance from Igor. Tears were streaming down Katya’s face as she gave me a final fleeting look and with a BANG, it all flew into motion.

  Katya’s body slunk to the ground, a trail of blood and what I only could assume was brain matter on the wall behind her. In my state of panic and shock, I couldn’t move, but I screamed, I couldn’t stop screaming.

  The smell in the air was smoky, I knew that smell from when I was a teenager, hanging out with my no-good gangbanging baby daddy. It wasn’t a typical burning smell, but something in all its own like chemicals and metal mixed together. The other smell that joined it though, was new to me, flesh, burnt flesh.

  The noise from the single shot still rang in my ears as I peered at the lifeless body of my best friend, her blonde curls covered in blood, her blue eyes wide open, and a single bullet hole in her forehead.

  “Come now!” Alexei screamed, breaking me from the eyes of my friend. The eyes of the woman murdered before my eyes by her own boyfriend, the man she trusted and loved.

  “NO, NO, NO!” I screamed in panic.

  At the sound of cars peeling out in the background, Alexei harshly grabbed me and yanked me up the alley with him. He produced keys and unlocked a door before shoving me inside. My limbs weren’t working, they were only shaking intensely as I sobbed and screamed.

  “You need quiet, now,” Alexei demanded of me as he yanked me along inside of his garage.

  There were voices at the door, Alexei quickened his pace as we arrived at a black Range Rover, he opened the trunk and shoved me inside before he joined me.

  “You must keep the quiet,” he whispered as the voices were now inside of the large car garage with us.

  I wanted to cry, hell I wanted to scream like all hell, but Alexei continued to shush me. The bile rising in my throat, but nowhere for it to go as I was squashed into the trunk of an SUV with a man built like a train. I swallowed it back down, the taste of vodka swirling in my mouth as my heart continued to pound in my ears to the beat of the music in the club.