Heavenly Stranger

by Tina Wainscott

  Morning was maddeningly routine, everyone pretending life was normal. Maddie wanted to scream that nothing was normal, that it needed to be unnormal.

  Escaping to her own house to clean was the best remedy to get her head together. There were too many strange vibes buzzing in the house. She tried to lose her thoughts in scrubbing floors, though she couldn’t look at the sliding glass doors without thinking of Chase’s harsh words followed by the most tender moment she’d ever experienced.

  Ever.

  She and Wayne didn’t have discussions like that. They never fought. They’d had the perfect marriage.

  Or had they?

  He’d challenged her, yes. He said it was for her own good. So, she went along.

  Go parasailing, even though you’re terrified. Go fast in the dark even though you don’t like speed. Pretend to like it because Wayne did.

  Pretend to be like Wayne so you don’t lose him, because who else will ever love you like that?

  She dropped the sponge and fell back on her behind at the realization. Soapy water seeped into her shorts, but she didn’t care. All this time she thought they’d lived such a carefree life. The truth was, she was always afraid he’d find someone he liked better. She was waiting for the balloon to pop and for him to see that he’d married a skinny nobody. He had loved her, she was sure of that. But he’d loved adventure more. He’d never gotten the hari-kari look while making love to her. Only when he was attempting something dangerous. He’d taken her with him many times, talked her into going even when she wasn’t comfortable doing it.

  Like the day he’d…left. Her mind resisted going there like it always did. She imagined Chase forcing her to face it. Wayne could have gotten her killed. He always headed to that oyster bar, even when she was in the boat. Never once had she really thought there had been danger. Seeing that big chunk of wood in the water changed that. There had been danger; they’d just been blithely unaware of it.

  She wrapped her finger around her big toe. One little piggy went to market; one little piggy stayed home.

  He must have felt like he was seducing a child.

  He had been seducing a child. He’d called her Baby just like everyone else did. Sometimes he’d tickled her until she couldn’t breathe. They’d played hide and seek and Marco Polo in the pool. Like kids.

  Colleen’s words came back to her, about being too busy being kids to ever think of having them. They had talked about it, especially after Colleen announced she was pregnant. She and Wayne had looked at each other and said, “Nah!” Then they’d gotten into a pillow fight.

  Forget all this. Everything was perfect and you had fun. He was happy, and he loved you. Most importantly, you were happy.

  Yes, she had been happy. But she wasn’t now. Because of Wayne’s recklessness, he’d taken himself away from her. And because of that, she’d stopped living.

  She walked to the sliding doors, where she’d stood when Chase had admitted maybe Wayne had sent him. Maybe he had sent Chase. Not an angel to heal her broken heart but a man to help her to face it.

  She finished the floors and drove to the warehouse, energy growing inside her. At first, she only saw Barnie working on his sails. She thought of the somber pallor that had hung over Chase the past few days. She wasn’t sure what their relationship was. Friends? She suspected they’d gone past that somewhere along the way. But not lovers, since they hadn’t made love. Her body stirred at the thought. A definite nine on the sex meter. All she knew—and had to remind herself—was they had no future.

  How had he become such a part of her life in such a short time? She knew the lines of his jaw, the feel of his hair, and the strength of his shoulders. But she didn’t know the man inside, because he didn’t either. He couldn’t have been planning to leave, not without finishing the boat. Or saying goodbye.

  “He’s inside the cabin,” Barnie said, and she realized she must have given away her fear with her expression.

  She couldn’t hide the smile of relief either. She climbed up onto the boat and then down into the cabin. “Oh, my gosh,” she said, obviously startling Chase out of his thoughts by the way he jumped. “You’re nearly done in here.”

  He still wasn’t wearing any of the clothing she’d given him, but he looked good in his faded black T-shirt anyway. She could clearly see the curves of his muscles through the thin fabric. Though he gave her a slight smile, his pallor remained. “Getting there.” George, a friend of Barnie’s from just north of Sugar Bay, had spent a couple of days helping out.

  The cabin smelled like the tung oil Chase was using. He finished up the last corner of varnishing the teak work and stood. Before she could think better of it, she slid against him and wrapped her arms around his waist. I’ve missed you, missed feeling you and laughing with you. The shirt felt soft against her cheek, though the body beneath it was solid. His heartbeat picked up a notch, even though he was slow to set his brush down and put his arms around her.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  She loved his voice and the way he felt, and she was so very afraid she loved him, even though she was sure she couldn’t love any other man besides Wayne. She looked up at him, glad to see concern override that somber expression. “If you knew who you were…if you were here because you wanted to be here, and we were together…” She swallowed, not sure she was saying it right. “Could you love me? I’m not asking if you do love me, I know you don’t, but could you? If the circumstances were different. It’s a rhetorical question.”

  He brushed her hair back from her face. “Why are you asking me this?”

  “Because I was thinking about when you kissed me the other night, no, not the kiss, what you were saying about Wayne seducing a child, me being a child, and I realized that I was afraid of losing him, of losing his interest. I mean, look at Bobby, he’s obviously lost interest in Colleen. But I tried so hard, doing things I didn’t want to do, going fast, taking risks, and I realized I did it because I didn’t think he could possibly love me for…me. I mean, no other guy in town was ever interested. And I’m not interested in anyone in town or falling in love again, and understand I’m not asking you to love me, just if you could. Love me.”

  Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. And now she realized the seat of her shorts was still wet, and she smelled like lemon cleanser. And if he said no, knowing how honest he could be, she’d die. Or if he said he could but was lying, she’d die.

  He held her face in his hands and ran his thumb across her cheeks. “Maddie, thinking about loving you…” He looked into her eyes, then shook his head. “is not a good idea. I can’t let myself think about that, not when…when I’ll be leaving soon.”

  He moved back and grabbed his brush. He didn’t like her anymore. She’d gone too far. Or maybe he’d connected with Darcy last night. Her old instincts kicked in, run, leave before the hurt sets in. But she couldn’t, because it hurt more to think of walking away from him.

  He moved his tools and the tarp to another area and continued varnishing. She grabbed a rag and worked on a nearby section. Close enough so that their arms brushed when she raised the rag the first time. Not entirely on purpose.

  “Forget I asked, okay?” she said.

  He glanced at her, and she saw to her profound relief a hint of a smile. “Maddie, you’re lovable.”

  “I am?” She knew how pitiful she sounded, but she didn’t care.

  “I just wasn’t expecting you to run into my arms and ask me that. And I don’t want to think about loving you or anyone because of my complications.”

  “Not even Darcy?”

  “What? Who?”

  “Darcy. The blonde who was talking to you that day I came into the warehouse the first time.”

  It had to be a good sign that he looked genuinely perplexed. Then light dawned, and he gave her a curious look.

  “Never mind,” she said before he could ask. “Ancient insecurities rearing their heads.”

  She ran the rag along the top edge
of wood beneath him. When she reached over to dip the rag into the oil, he was reaching past her to finish the strip in front of her. She blinked in surprise when their noses brushed.

  And he kissed her.

  It took her by surprise, the kiss and the intensity of it. She was balanced, with one hand hovering over the can of tung oil. He was braced against the sidewall, a wet rag in one hand. Only their mouths connected, and yet, her whole body responded. She heard something between an exhale and a groan escape his mouth as he deepened the kiss. That was something else she loved about him: his kisses. It was an awkward kiss, and yet it was just as passionate as the one in the water had been, minus the feel of his body against hers and his hands on her bare behind.

  He finished the kiss, coming back for another small one, and then another, before finally pulling away. “Stop asking me questions like that,” he said and went back to work.

  When she glanced out the porthole in front of them, she saw Barnie watching with a surprised look. She wondered if he thought that kiss was dangerous enough to warrant mentioning to her mother.

  When he smiled, she smiled back. He approved, no matter how dangerous it had been. And Maddie knew falling for Chase was the riskiest thing she’d ever done.

  CHAPTER 13

  By the end of the week, the boat was looking like, well, a boat. Maddie couldn’t begin to describe the feeling of joy and accomplishment when she returned from a trip to the washrooms and took it in. Joy because Chase was letting Q help him with the deck joiner work. Accomplishment because she had had a part in bringing this project to reality.

  She ignored the ache that the closer the boat got to being finished, the sooner Chase would leave. Instead she focused on the sound of Chase and Q’s laughter, a precious sound that filled her with life and love.

  Chase glanced up and caught her with a mushy look on her face. His smile was tinged with melancholy.

  Q looked up. “Aw, Uncle Maddie, do we have to go home? I wanna stay here.”

  “Can’t Q. I’ve already caused enough trouble between me and your mom.”

  Q’s face transformed into a pout. “I don’t want to be home with Mom. She doesn’t talk or laugh or nothing. It feels like a ten on the sad meter there all the time.”

  Of course, he could feel it.

  Chase jumped down off the boat and held his arms out for Q, who reluctantly slid down into them. “Let’s get you washed up, big guy.” Chase led him to the hose just outside the warehouse.

  The look of admiration Q gave Chase almost made her heart break. The boy was in desperate need of a father figure. His own father had his head too far up his posterior region to see what he was doing to his family.

  Maddie held the hose over Q’s hands as he washed off the dust and sweat. She splashed some on his legs. And then, just because she wanted to wipe that gloomy look off his face, she squirted a stream of water at his nose. That elicited a squeal of surprise and a struggle for control of the hose.

  Chase stepped in. “I’d better take this before you two get into real trouble.” And then he let her have it.

  The water was cold against her heated self and that elicited a squeal of surprise, too. When Q giggled in delight, he got another squirt. She looked at Q. “Let’s get him!”

  Q tried to pull the hose from below, and Maddie grabbed hold of Chase’s hands and tried to pry it loose. Their fingers slid against each other and a geyser of water sprayed upward to soak all of them. She and Chase were in a dance for control, though she had to admit she wasn’t putting up much of a struggle when she couldn’t stop laughing. He bent the nozzle and sent a shot of water down her shirt. Her nipples tightened instantly under the onslaught, but she didn’t think too much about it, or the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra, because she was too busy aiming the nozzle toward his collar. She ended up sending a stream all down the front of him, which had the same effect on him as it had on her.

  Q giggled at her victory, and Chase narrowed his eyes playfully. Hands clutched together over the nozzle, arm to arm and knee to knee, they twirled round and round. She’d gain an advantage and lean the water his way, then he’d shift their balance and it would spill her way.

  Then they realized that they’d coiled the hose around their legs. They both tumbled to the pine-needle-strewn ground tangled in the green hose and each other. He twisted as they fell so that she landed on top of him. She might have relished the feel of his hard body beneath hers, but Q ran over and jumped on top of them. Chase squirted him, and it started all over again.

  “Maddie?”

  The disgusted question didn’t belong with the fun and laughter, and she pulled her attention to Colleen watching them with disbelief. Maddie untangled herself and scrambled to her feet. She’d never seen her sister look so lost or disheveled. Q started to walk over, too, but Chase distracted him with another stream of water so the women could talk.

  “Sorry to interrupt your fun,” Colleen said, surveying Maddie’s wet self. Her gaze bounced back to Maddie’s chest. “Gawd, Baby.”

  The cold water—or Chase, if she dared admit it—definitely had an obvious effect on her. She crossed her arms over her chest. “What’s going on?”

  “I…I was going to talk to Bobby about…well, about ways we could patch things up. I couldn’t think about anything else, so I went home early. And…”

  Maddie put her hand on Colleen’s shoulder. “You don’t have to say it.”

  But, zombie-style, she continued. “I started to open the workshop door, but it was locked. I heard voices. Soft giggles. A groan. So I came here.” She took a ragged breath. “I want to move back home tonight. Will you help me?”

  “Are you sure that’s what you want to do?”

  Colleen’s eyes hardened. “Afraid I’ll take your place as the object of pity and attention around the house?”

  She pushed past her sister’s harsh words. “Have you tried talking to Bobby?”

  “What good would it do? He knows I know, and he’s still out there…doing it.”

  “Talk to him before you topple everyone’s world, including Q’s. You’ve got to confront him about this. He doesn’t think you will, and that’s why he’s still…doing it. You can’t put your marriage back together again until he stops seeing her.”

  “Just help me pack and move my things over to Mom and Dad’s. Don’t lecture me. Don’t become the authority on marriage. I know you had a happy marriage, but I can’t let Bobby run wild. And we don’t have his family’s money to help us make our bills or buy us a house. Will you just help me this one time?”

  Maddie glanced back to make sure Q wasn’t within listening distance. He and Chase were wrapping up the hose. She turned back to Colleen. “Aren’t you even going to fight for your marriage?” It scared her to see Colleen so beaten. She’d bullied her way around her family for so long, but she wasn’t fighting for what was important.

  “I…” Colleen looked up and away. “I don’t know how to fight.”

  “No, I guess you wouldn’t.” When her sister was about to get indignant at that comment, Maddie explained. “Have you ever noticed that we never talk about issues in our family? At even the merest hint of confrontation, Mom closes the subject and ignores it. Dad lets her talk all over him. They don’t listen. None of us do. I didn’t realize it either, not until…”

  She glanced toward Chase again. “Just recently. Heck, Mom won’t even talk to me about my seeing Chase, even though she forbade it. And maybe you do that with Q and Bobby, too. Think about it. Have you asked Q if he wants to be called Q? Have you talked to him about the teasing? I didn’t think so. And what about Bobby’s dream of opening his own shop? Have you sat down and worked out all the ramifications or did you just squash it? So what if you put off the pool for a few more years? You have mine to use. He told me he doesn’t feel like a man around you because you keep him on a short leash. And that’s deadly to a marriage.”

  Colleen swallowed hard. “He told you that? He told you tha
t?”

  “The first time I caught him. It was only a couple of days before you caught him. He hates living in a cave with the trolls.”

  “Gnomes.”

  “Are you listening to me? You stifle him, and that’s why he’s…doing what he’s doing.”

  “Are you going to help me move or just stay here and play with that man all day?” She took in Maddie’s dripping appearance. “Dumb question. That’s all you’ve ever done: play.”

  She started to leave, but Maddie grabbed her arm. “Don’t do this to Q. Try to work things out before he knows there’s a problem.”

  “We can’t hide problems from our children. As much as we want to protect them from the truth, sometimes it’s better if they know it so everyone can move on with their lives. You should talk to Mom about that sometime.” Then she turned and left.

  “Q, we gotta go,” Maddie said, heading to her cooler.

  “Want some towels?” Chase asked.

  She shook her head. Getting her car’s upholstery wet was the least of her problems. Even Q seemed to sense this was a serious matter; he grabbed his backpack and didn’t argue.

  “Everything okay?” Chase asked. She got caught up in his eyes and in the longing to spend time with him while she still had him around. His black shirt was plastered to his body. Don’t think about him, Maddie.

  As if she could stop.

  When Maddie had walked into the living room the next morning, she experienced a bizarre moment of juxtaposition. Colleen was sitting on the couch in her pajamas, and Mom was talking to her in soothing tones. Is that how she’d looked over the last year, dead in the eyes, all slumped over, with Mom coddling her? She made herself face the answer: yes.

  Afraid I’ll take your place as the object of pity and attention around the house?

  Wow, Maddie hadn’t let that register when Colleen had said it yesterday. Seeing her on the couch like that, it hit Maddie that she had been the object of pity. Gawd.