Heavenly Stranger

by Tina Wainscott

Since Chase had arrived in Sugar Bay, she’d been able to step back from her life and view it as an outsider. She didn’t like what she saw. A twenty-six-year-old woman who’d never grown up. Who expected everyone else to make things better. Who wore youthful clothing and played kiddy games, and maybe related to Q better than anyone else.

  Then she pictured herself working alongside Chase on the boat, accomplishing something. She saw herself kissing him and feeling her body come alive in a very grown-up way. Could she leave that safe, childish part of herself behind? Could she become a woman with Chase? Even as her body stirred at the thought, she couldn’t let herself think about it when he’d be leaving soon.

  The real questions was…could she become a woman on her own?

  When she saw Chase later that morning, she watched him work for a few minutes before he saw her. He even looked sexy wearing a breathing mask. He was a hard worker, intent on his task and precise with his movements. He was sanding the surface of the hull, and fine dust flew everywhere.

  Wayne probably wouldn’t have worn the mask and goggles. He never wore restraints or safety equipment. Hated seat belts. I live footloose and fancy-free, Baby. It’s the only way to live.

  Except he wasn’t alive anymore.

  She shifted her attention back to Chase. He was finally wearing one of Wayne’s shirts, a blue-and-white striped one he’d left unbuttoned. He wore those low-slung white pants again that rode just under his hip bones.

  He glanced up and smiled, and she hoped he hadn’t noticed her gawking at him. He cut the sander as she approached, pushing up his goggles and pulling down the mask. “Hiya.”

  “Hey.” Why couldn’t she stop smiling whenever she first saw him? Maybe because she’d wanted to come back here and be with him last night so bad that she’d ached with it.

  “How’d it go last night?”

  She lifted one shoulder. “As well as can be expected when your sister moves her son and her fifty trolls back home.”

  “Are they going to try to patch it back together?”

  “That’s what I think they should do, but Bobby just let her go without a fight. She’s moping around doing a fair imitation of Maddie pre-Chase.” She blinked when she realized what she’d said. “Before you came along, I just sat around on the couch all day.”

  He ran a dry rag across the area he’d just sanded. “Aw, Maddie, I didn’t do anything.”

  She nearly jumped when the boat creaked. “Is someone in the cabin?”

  “Some guy named Ron, doing the electrical work. And, believe it or not, Barnie. He woke up about the time I was going to stop for the day, saying he was tired of being an invalid. And he was really tired of watching the boat come together without being part of it. So we managed—and it wasn’t a pretty sight—to get him onboard. He’s been in there ever since. We worked on the flooring and hatches until about three. He was just starting the plumbing when I left.”

  “You’re going to be done soon,” she said, hating the tightness in her voice when she’d meant to sound perfectly casual.

  He tweaked her chin. “Thanks for your help. Someday I’ll pay you for your time.”

  “Don’t…don’t pay me. Just come back and visit.”

  He tried to smile but it faltered. “You may not like who I am. You might not want me to visit.”

  “Of course, I will.” She didn’t like the darkness in his eyes. Had he remembered more? “Give me some sandpaper and tell me what to do.”

  He set her to work on the stern, but before she could scrape one inch, he slipped one of those paper masks over her head and a pair of goggles over her eyes. That simple gesture nearly brought her to tears. She was used to being taken care of by her family, but that a man would think to protect her from resin dust touched her deeply. She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek, through the fabric. He brushed her hair back from her face and went back to his spot.

  When they ran out of varnish later in the day, Maddie volunteered to get more. The first thing she noticed when she returned was her mom’s car in the parking lot. She walked around the side of the warehouse, and her mom’s voice stopped her.

  “She’s been acting strange ever since you came to town. Defying her family by coming here, talking back to me. She’s just not herself lately.”

  “Maddie might—”

  “Return to normal if you push her away. She’s even asking us to call her Maddie, which is near impossible when we’ve called her Baby her whole life.”

  Maddie was going to announce her presence, but the pride in Chase’s voice stopped her again.

  “She asked you to call her Maddie? Good for her.”

  “Not good for her. She’s been grieving for a year and, all of a sudden, she’s acting different. It can’t be good. I’m afraid she’s gone…unbalanced.”

  “She isn’t unbalanced,” he said with conviction. “She’s growing up. Your daughter is a woman.” Those words shivered through Maddie. “Look at this boat. Maddie did this. She sanded this section; she laid the fiberglass and the C-Flex. She helped make this boat a reality. She works hard, even though she refuses to take any payment. Look what she’s accomplished. Your little girl did this. Can you imagine what else she’s capable of?”

  Maddie was sure that was the most anyone had ever gotten to say in a conversation with her mother. She leaned against the side of the warehouse and closed her eyes, letting his pride soak in.

  “Baby wouldn’t get dirty doing this kind of work.”

  “Ask Barnie. She’s been here every day sweating and working. You—and as far as I can tell, other people in this town—want to keep her a helpless girl. I think it’s time you asked yourself why. Your daughter is an incredible woman, and you don’t even know it.”

  Maddie squeezed her arms around herself at those words.

  “You have no right to talk to me like that.”

  “I’m Maddie’s friend and I want what’s best for her. Don’t you?”

  “All I’m asking is that you put some distance between you and her until you leave. You are still leaving, aren’t you?” Chase must have nodded, because she went on. “I’m afraid she’s gotten…attached to you. When you leave, you’re going to break her heart. She’s been through enough, and I don’t want her hurt. Again.”

  “Maybe I’m going to be hurt, too. Did you ever think about that?”

  Maddie held her breath at those words. Did he mean them? They must have taken her mom aback, too, because it took her a few seconds to reply.

  “I only care about my daughter. And if you care about her, you’ll stop this useless relationship.”

  “Maddie knows I’m leaving, ma’am. If she chooses to continue to hang around, she does it fully prepared for that.”

  A few minutes of silence passed, and then she heard the sound of work being resumed. It was only after another few minutes that Maddie stepped around the corner. She decided to pretend she hadn’t heard the conversation and see if he mentioned it–or followed her mom’s directive.

  He was standing on their makeshift scaffolding, boards held up by big plastic buckets. He looked up at her. “I suppose you heard all that?”

  So much for pretending. “Yep.” He helped her up to the scaffolding, not letting go until she had her balance. “No one has ever stood up for me like that before. In fact, no one in my life—including Wayne—ever stood up to my mom period.” She met his gaze, realizing something else. “No one has ever been…proud of me. Not that I’ve accomplished a lot in my life, but that’s because nobody ever expected anything of me. So, I lived my life never committing to anything besides my family and my marriage. I only started helping you with the boat so I’d have an excuse to be around you. To, you know, give you the opportunity to see that you were my angel. I know, you’re not. But then I started enjoying the work and accomplishment, seeing something go from rough materials to a finished product. It felt good. Thank you.”

  He tilted his head. “Why are you thanking me? You did it yourself.”
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  “But you gave me the impetus.”

  She wanted to kiss him, because it felt so good and she wanted to get that feeling in as much as she could before he left. But she heard the office door open, and Barnie hobbled out on crutches. And even though Barnie had seen her and Chase kissing, it was a different story altogether to do it in front of him.

  “After every nap, seems the boat’s getting closer and closer to being done. Looks like it’ll be delivered on time after all. Good job, Chase. Maddie.”

  She beamed.

  “We’re a good team,” Chase said, flashing her a smile.

  A team. That’s what Wayne had always called the two of them. But now she could see they hadn’t been a team at all. She had simply gone along with his wishes. She’d been his Baby in every sense of the word. And now she was nobody’s baby. And maybe that was okay.

  “Ever since Wayne left, I’ve been afraid of doing anything the least bit risky,” Maddie said the next evening. The peacefulness of the Gulf and the sunset opposed the turmoil she felt as she sat on the edge of the picnic table next to Chase. “But every time I’m with you, I feel like I’m risking some part of myself. Does that make sense?”

  “Yeah,” he answered without even thinking.

  She’d made them dinner, the first whole meal she’d cooked since moving back to her parents’ house. It was only meatloaf and buttered noodles, no culinary achievement. But an achievement for her.

  “How long before the boat’s finished?”

  “A few more days if Barnie keeps helping. He and George are working on it now.”

  “Then you’ll leave.” She could already feel the ache at the prospect. He only nodded. “Because you have a life somewhere out there.” He nodded again, staring at his left hand. “Have you remembered more?”

  “A bit.”

  She found herself touching his arm. “You know who you are?”

  “Not enough to put it together yet.” She didn’t like the seriousness on his face or the fact that he wasn’t looking at her. “I might be married.”

  Her fingers tightened against his bare arm, but she forced them to let go. “Married?”

  “I saw a wedding ring on my finger. And…a woman.”

  She didn’t know why she felt jealous, not when she had no future with Chase. “Do you…love her?”

  She wished she could identify what she saw in his dark eyes. “I don’t feel anything. I know they’re from my life, but I’m not connected to them.”

  She ran her thumb down his finger. “But you don’t have a line.”

  “I was out in the sun for days. I know, there should be a difference, but maybe it doesn’t work that way if you’ve had too much sun.” She was still holding onto his hand when he turned to her. “Sometimes I think I don’t want to know who I am. Maybe I party too much. Maybe I can’t…”

  “What?”

  “Maybe I’m not a nice person.”

  “Then don’t remember anymore. Stay here and be the Chase you know now.” She hated the hope that shot through her at the prospect. Especially since he was already shaking his head.

  “I have to face who I was—am. If I have a wife, and maybe kids, I need to deal with those responsibilities. I probably have debts and obligations. I can’t just turn my back on them.”

  “See, that proves you are a good person. You’re responsible.” She wished he wasn’t. But then, she’d lived a responsibility-free life herself and look where it had gotten her.

  “Maybe.” He clearly wasn’t convinced. He dipped his head into his hands. “I feel like an empty shell, Maddie. No past, no future. No reference for anything in the world. What I’m like now, I may not be when it comes back. I have a duffel bag with hand-me-downs, which I’m grateful for, don’t get me wrong. But I’m a nobody, nowhere.” After a few moments, he looked at her. “All I have is…you. And a vague sense that I don’t deserve you.”

  She kissed him then, taking his face in her hands the way he did to her. Her gaze was locked to his as their mouths touched. “You’ll always have me, no matter what.”

  “You can’t say that, Maddie. You don’t know who I am.”

  “I don’t care who you are,” she whispered. I love you anyway. The words echoed through her mind, though she held them in, thank God. But the impact of them made her drop her hands and move back. “You’re a great kisser.” She’d wanted to say something, but that wasn’t exactly on the list of comforting phrases. “Is that something you remembered? Or have you been practicing since losing your memory?”

  He rubbed his eyes and laughed softly, and she regretted asking him. She didn’t want to hear about the women he’d met on his journey. Dumb question, Maddie. Really dumb.

  “As lonely as I’ve gotten, I decided not to get involved with anyone.” He looked at her, probably thinking how he’d broken that vow. “I haven’t practiced anything with anyone.” His gaze dropped momentarily to her mouth. “Maybe kissing is an instinctual thing. It all came back that night in the water. I didn’t think about it, it just…happened. I suppose making love would be the same.”

  She blinked as those words sent fire spiraling through her. “Making love?” She kicked herself for saying the words.

  He gave her a rather sheepish smile. “I know what it is, but I don’t remember ever doing it.”

  “You mean you’re like…a virgin?”

  He ran his fingers back through his hair. “Guess so.”

  That thought intrigued her right down to her toes. Being the first woman to touch him, to be touched by him. Don’t think about it, she told herself, but it was too late. The thought was there, planted in the center of her body, and lower yet. It made her feel like more of a woman, being the teacher, the knowledgeable one. “So, I know more about sex than you do?”

  “Probably.”

  She chewed the tip of her finger. “But if that night in the water is any indication, I think you’ll pick it right up again.

  The sheepish smile returned. “It was like the kiss. I knew what I wanted.”

  He wanted her. At least for those moments.

  “Maddie, I’m not going to pretend I don’t want you. I could tell you it’s because it’s been…well, for me, forever since I’ve made love with a woman. But I can’t lie to you. I want you. Just you. The best thing was your mother coming to look for you that night, because I might have laid you down on this picnic table and stripped off what little you had on and made love to you right here.” She tingled at his words. “But that would have been a big mistake. For you. And for me. I don’t think you’re ready for that kind of…interaction. You’ve still got issues to work out around your husband. Like admitting he’s dead, for one thing, instead of saying he left, as though he’ll be back.”

  He gestured to the wedding ring she still wore. “When you are ready to move on, it should be with a guy who can commit to you. Not some guy who’s going to turn his back and leave.” He took her hand in his, fiddling with her fingers as he spoke. “You’ve probably only been with one man in your life.” She nodded. “Make the second guy one you marry too.”

  She tightened her hold on his hand. “What if I don’t want to?”

  Those words hung in the air, and she watched several emotions cross his face. “Don’t say that. The best thing we could do is walk away now.”

  She searched his eyes, remembering his words to her mother. “You’re going to hurt when you leave?”

  His mouth quirked. “Maybe.”

  She didn’t give herself time to think about the consequences. She climbed onto his lap, her legs on either side of him, arms around his neck. “Kiss me again.”

  “Maddie, haven’t you heard me? This isn’t a good idea.”

  “Growing up, I was never allowed to take any risks. Then I married Wayne, and we took risks all the time, but I was manipulated into it. When he…left, I went back to being that sheltered child. This is a risk I want to take, knowing what the consequences will be. Because when you kiss me, I feel l
ike a woman for the first time in my life. And I want to feel that again. At least one more time.”

  She could see the moment he relented. “Aren’t you worried about people seeing you like this?”

  She doubted they would be seen. The Australian pines partially blocked them. “I might be a ruined woman.”

  “Definitely.”

  “You talk as though there are men who would be interested in me. As though there is one man in town who piques my interest a tenth of what you do. I guess I’m willing to risk it. I’ll pay the consequences tomorrow.” Those consequences being adding another soul-searing kiss to memories to mourn over when he left.

  “You’re something else, you know that?”

  “That’s never good.”

  “It is with you.”

  “And I’m only something else with you.”

  They came together at the same moment, her involuntarily wrapping her legs around his waist. She relished being a woman with him, of feeling sensuality rushing through her veins and the parts of her body she’d long forgotten about. With Chase, it was different. He didn’t tickle her, or play “this little piggy…” with her toes, or lathe her face with his tongue without warning.

  She wanted a man.

  She didn’t want to compare the two of them, but they were so different. They made her feel so different, from a girl to a woman.

  Now that Chase was hard, he pressed against her feminine area and sent more of that intoxicating passion through her blood.

  “I love…” she whispered, then realized she’d said it aloud. “kissing you,” she finished.

  “Mm, I’m going to miss kissing you.”

  She tilted her head sideways and inhaled softly. Forgetting to breathe while kissing Chase was easy to do. But she also loved the way he smelled close up, like the soap he’d used to wash with, or maybe the shampoo.

  She sighed aloud, sounding way too dreamy and lost. His own breathing was coming heavier, but she wanted him to sigh, too. She rolled her tongue all the way around his with slow, sure strokes. That did the trick. His arms tightened around her, and he let out a low moan.