Losing Her

by Cori Williams

  “It’s like, eight o’clock.”

  “I’m an old woman, I’m ready for bed. Will you come tuck me in?”

  “Sure, Cam. I’ll tuck you in.” He slung an arm around me, pressing a kiss to my temple, and I sighed. Lawson always made me feel better.

  He kept me upright on the small trek to my house and pushed the door open for me. Somehow, I managed to turn on lights so I wouldn’t trip over something on the way to my room. “I have to pee so bad.” I stopped in the hallway bathroom, not even bothering to shut the door and then pulled off my dress as soon as I was done, lifting it over my head and throwing it into the laundry basket that was starting to spill over. “Um…Campbell, what are you doing?”

  I brushed past Lawson and yawned. “Going to bed.”

  “Well couldn’t you have shut the door or something?” I spun around and noticed his eyes were everywhere but on me, as he fidgeted on his feet.

  “Lawson Reynolds, are you nervous about seeing me in my bra and underwear? I know you’ve seen parts like these plenty of other times, mine are no different.”

  He groaned. “Yes, yes they are. Friends don’t walk around friends in their…underwear, if that’s what you want to call the scrap of material you have on.”

  “Oh whatever! Like you, Colt, and Riley don’t walk around in your underwear around each other. You probably have sausage fests every night!”

  “Um, nope, no way in hell do we do that.” I climbed into my bed and motioned for Lawson to join me, holding the comforter so he could climb under. He sighed before kicking his shoes off and climbing in, laying down on his side and resting his head on his hand as he stared down at me. “Did you want me to sing you a goodnight song, too?”

  “No, I think I’m okay. Besides it would probably be all country and twangy and gross. Now, if you had your guitar on you, then it would be a different story.”

  He smirked and I wiggled my body closer to his, wrapping one leg around his. He tensed and sucked in a breath. “Campbell, you need to stay on your side of the bed.”

  “But what if I don’t want to?”

  “Campbell.”

  “Lawson.”

  “Girl, you’re frustrating as hell tonight.”

  “And that’s why you love me.”

  “It is,” he agreed.

  “Show me how much you love me,” I whispered, pressing my eyes closed. I didn’t want to see his reaction, it was hard enough to get that out. What if he turned me down? I just needed to feel some sort of love tonight. Lawson was the one that could give it to me. I reopened them after a beat, his silence deafening. And then he kissed me, and what a glorious kiss it was. It was everything I needed in one simple swipe of his lips pressing against mine, soft and sweet. His hands moved to my waist, resting gently on my bare skin as if I was fragile and I pressed closer to him, shutting my brain off to what was actually happening. I might have started our relationship off as strictly friends, but after a while, I’d developed a crush on Lawson, a real one. He wasn’t who I thought he was, and I loved the real Lawson. I guess the liquid courage helped me along.

  When his tongue slipped into my mouth, the sweetness slowly started to dissipate and a hunger took over for the both of us. Suddenly, we couldn’t get close enough to each other, our hands a frenzied mess trying to touch everywhere all at once.

  “God, Campbell, you have no idea how long I’ve dreamt about this, being inside of you, feeling every inch of your skin. Just letting go. I love you, Cam.”

  My eyes glistened with tears as he stared at me intently, it was so overwhelming. I knew Lawson loved me and I loved him—but actually hearing it—it was just too much. I yanked on the back of his head, bringing his mouth back towards me and he came willingly.

  He sucked at my neck, palms on my ribcage, before trailing kisses up my jawline. I let him take over complete control. And it felt wonderful. Nerves fluttered away as soon as they started to bubble to the surface, and when he pulled on a condom, I was ready. When he slipped inside of me and the pinch of pain resided, a euphoric feeling took over. Lawson was my first, and in that moment, I would’ve had him be my very last. I went to sleep, feeling safe and secure, tucked into his chest, his arms wrapped around me tightly.

  But when I woke up in the morning to reach for him, he was gone.

  I didn’t hear a single word from him for three months, and when I finally did, he was married.

  Chapter 11

  The biggest mistake of my life

  Lawson

  “THAT GIRL’S HERE AGAIN.” Colton said to me from the corner of his mouth and I followed his eyes, slowly grinning. “What the hell is that smile about?” He thumped me in the chest. “You don’t need some bat shit crazy chick following you around from town to town.”

  “Sometimes crazy chicks are a good thing. You wouldn’t believe the things she does behind closed doors, well, anywhere really.”

  Colton ignored me with a grunt. “So, talked to Campbell lately?”

  I winced, her name a painful reminder of the hurt I know I caused. I took advantage of her, plain and simple. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror for days, the mere sight making me sick to my stomach. Campbell didn’t need an asshole like me in her life, but even though we weren’t in contact, I was still making sure she was taken care of. I would never turn my back on her. Tess’s parents were keeping an eye out for her now. If her stomach so much as growled, I would hear about it. And if her dad laid another hand on her, he would be dead.

  “You know I haven’t, so quit being fucking stupid,” I tossed over my shoulder before crooking a finger at one of our security guards and pointing to the blonde in the front row. They knew what I wanted without even having to say a word.

  Soon enough she was back stage, looking hot as hell in her barely there dress, perky tits plump and bubbling out of the top. Long blonde hair trailing past her tan shoulders and legs that went on for miles—the complete opposite of Campbell. Why did I have to compare every single girl to her?

  What was different about Megan—besides the fact that I remembered her name—was that she didn’t need me. I know that sounded shitty, but Campbell had a lot of baggage and I was young—young and stupid to be completely honest.

  No, Megan didn’t need me. Her parents were wealthy, which was one of the reasons she could just pop up at one of our concerts when they were states apart. She didn’t fan girl, and she wasn’t a crazy stalker like Colt seemed to think. She was every guy’s dream.

  “Hey,” she purred, as I stepped over and wrapped both hands around her waist.

  “Hey, you came.”

  “Well….” She giggled. “I’m planning on it later tonight as soon as I get you alone. Or not.” She eyed the room backstage that I shared with the guys and a slow smile pushed itself onto my face. This girl was talking my language.

  “I think I like the ‘or not’ plan better,” I pulled on her hips, locked the door behind us and groaned as she pulled on my pants and attacked my dick with her lips.

  Pure Heaven.

  * * *

  I had fun with Megan. She wasn’t a leech, not at first anyway. She was a nice break from my crazy life and she was wild in bed, what more could I ask for? We ended up eloping when we were out in Vegas for an awards show. I don’t know what made me do it—Maybe it was the high of the night since we won our first award, or maybe because Chloe had been riding my ass lately about being around more for Caiden; I think she was hoping something would happen between us since we had a son together. Or because for a split second I let my mind slip and wished Campbell had been there to see us win our award. I hadn’t thought about her in a while.

  I shouldn’t have been thinking about Campbell. She deserved a lot better than I could give her.

  Everything went downhill after Megan and I got married. She started getting clingy and jealous for no reason. I never once cheated on her, well not until the very end, and after she had already been sent the divorce papers.

  The
media had a field day with our relationship. To them, I was the Britney Spears of the country world with all of my damn drama. First, a baby with one girl and then eloping with another. Megan spilled to every gossip magazine that would listen about what an uncaring asshole I was. Country singers didn’t make the big headlines as often as the more mainstream pop singers did, but apparently there was an interesting story between us and it was splashed all over the front covers—a list of affairs that I had that never existed, questioning my sexual orientation (that one made me do nothing but roll my eyes) the list went on and on. Campbell’s name was even mentioned, something about how I was still stuck on my first love and the secret affair I’d been having with her the whole time we were married. I might’ve been stuck on Campbell, but there was no affair going on.

  By the time the divorce was finally granted, I couldn’t give two shits about what happened to Megan and where she ended up. She got some of my money and the house that we had splurged on as soon as we were married, and I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was repairing my relationship with Campbell. I hoped that I hadn’t totally fucked things up by breaking off contact with her. I showed up on her door step to wallow at her feet, and she actually smiled and rolled her eyes when she saw me. “Finally came to your senses, huh? You do recall asking me to be your best friend for life, right? Not the other way around?”

  I shifted on the porch, wondering if she was about to go hell on me. She actually looked amused that I was there. I was bewildered. “I’m sorry I left like I did. I shouldn’t have.”

  “You shouldn’t have done a lot of things, one in particular I can think of at the moment. What was her name again…Megan? You should’ve known by the name alone that she was a crazy one. If you would’ve had your best friend around, I could’ve told you that.”

  My lips twitched. “Is that right? Sure would’ve saved me a whole lotta trouble. What was I thinking?’

  “You weren’t,” she stated matter-of-factly. “But you live and learn, right? Come in,” she waved me inside and I looked around the house, in shock by the appearance—it actually looked like a home. I could see Campbell touches everywhere, from the pictures dotting the walls, to the framed artwork that I had collected for her on my trips.

  I also smelled something spectacular, and my mouth watered at the scent. “What are you making?” I glanced over her shoulder as she opened the fridge and noticed it that was full. Good, she wasn’t being stubborn and turning away the money I had been sending.

  “I have a pot roast in the crockpot and potatoes going so I can mash ‘em. You think you want to stay for dinner?”

  “Um…I don’t think you could get me to leave. Is your dad around?”

  “No, he’s working late, but he’s been better, he really has.” I wanted to believe her, I did, but I just couldn’t. I knew how out of hand the drinking had got, and I just couldn’t see him turning things around like that. But I hoped that he did for Campbell, she was worth it.

  “So you were making all of this food for yourself?”

  “Well, I was going to save the leftovers, but I guess I can share it with you.”

  “You guess? You do know that sharing whatever you’re eating with me is one of the laws, right?”

  “Oh my God, please don’t start with the laws.” She covered her ears before heading to the cupboards and pulling out plates. “Maybe we can’t be friends again.” She twisted around after setting the plates on the counter and I crossed my arms over my chest.

  “No, we’re friends again, whether you like it or not. I’m going to annoy the shit out of you. I promise I won’t do that again, Campbell. I just thought things would be better that way, and they weren’t. In fact, they were worse.”

  “I agree,” she answered quietly. “But I think in order for us to be friends again, that’s all we can be. Too much shit happens when body parts get involved.”

  I bit down on my lip, trying not to think about those certain body parts. I knew she was right, and no matter how badly I wanted to argue with her, I couldn’t force myself to. I didn’t want to mess our relationship up again. “Yeah. I think I can handle that.”

  Chapter 12

  Campbell

  “OH MY GOD, you’re really here!” Tess’s squeal rang out from the porch and she jumped from the top step, closing the space between us to tackle me in a hug. Conner chuckled from behind me, and caught Tess easily in his arms when she attacked him next.

  “Thanks for bringing her. It’s been way too long.”

  “No problem, I just had to convince her to take some time off work. You know how that is.”

  “Oh yes, this one’s a work-aholic But there was no way in hell I was gonna let you miss River’s first birthday. Her Auntie has to be here!”

  “Hey, I’m here, so leave me alone already,” I grumbled with a smile. It was true, I couldn’t have missed River’s first birthday. I’d shown up just hours after she had been born and instantly fell in love with her. I didn’t see her and Tess as much as I liked, but I would always have a special spot reserved in my heart just for that adorable little girl.

  “Fine,” she clapped her hands. “And now you can help me get ready for the party. I have so much to get done, it’s ridiculous.”

  “Anything you need, babe. I’m all in.”

  Of course Tess had to do everything over the top, so I really didn’t know what I was getting myself into. Two rooms of the sprawling log cabin Colt had built for them were completely taken over by party decorations, and that was only the beginning. Once I got to the kitchen, I knew there was hours of work left, and the party was in two hours.

  “Need any help?” Conner grinned when I sighed heavily.

  “Yeah, think you want to call a local caterer and see if they can make up some food real quick? How the hell is all of this supposed to get done?”

  “We can do it, Campbell.” He kissed my temple and then smacked my ass. “Let’s get to work, girl.”

  We worked side by side, throwing things into crockpots, cutting up vegetables and fruit, and making up sandwich trays. I was glad Conner had convinced me to come. I loved seeing Tess and River and everyone else, but things at work had been hectic. We’d been jam packed with events, which was a good thing, but it was exhausting. Add on top of that, my dad’s health which had only been declining. Apparently drowning your liver in alcohol for so many years, wasn’t a good thing. Conner had been there every step of the way with me though, and I was glad I had the support. I had found the perfect guy and he was in love with me. I couldn’t ask for more.

  The guests started to arrive right as we began to set the food out and Colt came bounding down the stairs with River in his hands. “Good thing we just woke up from our nap.” I ran over to kiss River on both of her cheeks, petting her soft curls.

  “Hey baby girl, I’ve missed you so much.” She smiled shyly, tucking her head into Colt’s chest.

  “Just give her a minute, she’ll warm up to you in no time. I’m glad you guys could make it, Tess has been stressing out about it.”

  I rolled my eyes. “She knew I would come, I wouldn’t miss this.”

  I grabbed onto Conner’s hand and we headed out to the back yard where most of the party was happening. I greeted some people I knew, saying hi to Tess’s parents who had just shown up. I ran into them every once in a while in town, and we would catch up on Tess.

  “Come here,” Conner found a bench and pulled me onto his lap. “You did good, baby. You’re a good friend.”

  “Well, thanks.” He pressed a kiss to my neck. “Plus you looked hot as hell dancing around the kitchen with that apron on. I was imagining all of the things I’m gonna do to you later when I get you alone.”

  “Oh, were you now?” I twisted around, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I don’t think that would be very appropriate to do in the guest room. You know how loud I can be.”

  “That’s why we’re not staying here. You know I only get you alone so much. I w
anted to have you completely to myself.”

  “Oh.” My eyebrows popped up and he bit down on his lip.

  “Is that alright?”

  “Yeah, of course. I just told Tess that we would stay here. She’s probably going to be disappointed.”

  “She already knows.”

  “She does?”

  “Yup.” He answered with a pop. “C’mon lets go get some grub, I’m starving.”

  * * *

  “Isn’t Lawson coming? I haven’t seen him.”

  “Yeah, he should be here eventually,” Tess waved her hand. “He had to pick up Caiden this morning, I guess him and Chloe are having disagreements lately about their custody arrangement. I thought you two talked all the time, didn’t he tell you?”

  The guilt ate at my stomach. “No, honestly I haven’t had the time to catch up with him lately. Between work, my dad, Conner…I barely have time to sleep.”

  “So Conner’s been keeping you up all night?” Tess wiggled her eyebrows, stealing a bite of cake from my fork.

  “Tess,” I rolled my eyes and she bumped her hip into mine, licking frosting off her lips.

  “What? There’s nothing to be ashamed of. You need to make sure the sex is hot before you decide if you’re going to spend the rest of your life with him. I get it.”

  “I haven’t really thought that far ahead yet.”

  “Really? And why not?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know.”

  “Well you better think about it real quick.”

  I was about to ask her what the hell she was talking about, but then she was shoving me sideways and I landed right against a broad chest. I tipped my head up and smiled when I saw it was Conner, but then all breath left my body when he dropped down to one knee.

  Chapter 13

  Lawson

  I SHOWED UP to River’s party just in time to see what I thought could be my future being ripped away, and it fucking devastated me. My heart felt blackened as I watched Campbell being twirled around in a circle by Conner, the crowd clapping, the ring on her left hand catching in the sunlight. Caiden’s hand was gripping mine but I barely felt it—that’s how numb I was.