Dare to Trust

by R Gendreau-Webb

  “I’m not having this conversation, Jason. You’re drunk.” Her voice was laced with annoyance.

  “So…maybe I am….but I still miss you.”

  “Go to bed, Jason. Sleep it off.”

  “Since when do you get to make all the decisions?” Jason demanded with a growl, his tone angry. “You decided you were leaving. You decided we were done. And now you’ve decided I need to go to bed…No! It’s time you listen to me for a change!”

  Mia had wanted a clean break from him and from Boston. That had been the motivating factor in agreeing to the dinner with Tyler. But, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t deny the feelings she still harbored for Jason. She certainly didn’t like the reminder of how she had hurt him, and that’s exactly what she got every time she spoke to him on the phone. He didn’t deserve to be hurt by her, but Mia couldn’t go back to Boston.

  “Let’s talk about this when you haven’t been drinking, okay, Jason? I know you’re angry with me---“

  He interrupted her. “Just come home, Mia.” The anger had left his voice. He sounded wounded and vulnerable. “Come home,” he whispered. Mia couldn’t stand hearing that in his tone.

  “I’ve gotta go, Jason. Good night.” She quickly hung up.

  At the sound of the call being disconnected, Jason slumped down on the couch, sipping the scotch. He tossed his cell aside, closing his eyes. Even though he was drunk, he knew Mia wasn’t coming home. Everything in his life he had loved and cared about was gone.

  ***

  Tyler liked to work fast. He had taken Mia home the other night after being a perfect gentleman. He had given her a small peck on the cheek; he had given no indication of his desire and what he wanted to do with her. He planned to see her a few more times before he made his move.

  Mia had just left an exam room, scribbling something down on a medical chart. Tyler interrupted her thoughts. “Tonight. Dinner.” Mia’s head snapped up as the demand registered.

  “I don’t think---“

  “You’ve had a long shift,” Tyler told her, “you’re going to need to eat. And I want to make sure you have good company with your meal.” He grinned up at her. “Seven tonight.” Again, an order.

  He took her to small bistro on the out skirts of town. The meal was good, and Mia was again surprised at the good time she had. It had been months since she hadn’t felt weighted down by sadness. When Tyler brought her home, he deposited her at her door like a gentleman. This time, before he left, he slid a hand behind her neck and gently pulled her mouth towards his. He thoroughly tasted her, letting her know what he wanted. Tyler let her go and Mia unlocked her door. He followed her into the cottage and descended upon her once they were inside.

  Tyler was kissing her again. He had shed his coat and was helping her get out of hers. Before Mia knew it, she was up against the wall with his hands wandering all over her; his hands skimmed her breasts, waist and ass. He began pulling at her blouse, untucking it from her skirt and Mia felt his cool hands starting to work on getting her bra unclasped. The sudden feel of his hands, cold from outside, on the sensitive skin of her breasts startled her. She pulled away with a gasp. “Tyler, I can’t do this.” Her lips felt swollen from being grazed by his stubble, her eyes filled with confusion.

  He gave her a large, smug smile as Tyler moved away from her. Before Mia could do or say anything, Tyler broke away. “Sleep tight,” he murmured to her as he walked to his car.

  The time she had spent with Tyler, away from the emergency room, had left Mia disconcerted. As she walked through town in an attempt to clear her head, Mia attempted to sort out her feelings. She had enjoyed being in Tyler’s company. But Mia knew she was still in love with Jason. She couldn’t even understand why she had pushed him away; Jason had been nothing but loving and supportive through the ordeal. Mia knew he had been wounded from the miscarriage, too. Although she wanted to acknowledge his pain, Mia was bereft of the ability to emotionally support him. She had been barely able to get herself through the day.

  The two dates with Tyler had been the first time in months she had felt anything other than grief and regret. Mia was unsure if she and Jason would revive their relationship. If she was in his shoes, Mia wasn’t sure she would be so forgiving. She felt definite regret at abandoning him as she had. Since leaving Boston, Mia was confident that she was lonely. Was Tyler simply filling a gap so Mia wouldn’t feel lonely? She had liked being in his arms but his kiss had not ignited her like Jason’s did.

  As she walked down the ocean-front street lined with turn-of-the-century Victorians that used be the elite’s summer residences, Mia knew her personal relationship with Tyler couldn’t go any further. Tyler was not what she wanted or needed, and he couldn’t make Mia forget what been had been running from. She was still in love with Jason. She belonged with him. The cool wind coming up off the water whipped around Mia as she meandered farther. She found herself walking on a path winding along the water. The rhythmic sounds of the waves were soothing---helped her think straight, although the breeze was harsh and made her shiver. Mia knew what she had to do.

  ***

  They had found the suspect at South Station, trying to leave the city via bus. Now, Bryan Leeds sat silently in an interrogation room. He wasn’t answering the questions posed to him, nor was he asking for a lawyer. The questioning had been going on for almost two hours and frustration was growing.

  “We’ve got you placed in the apartment, Leeds. You were having a relationship with the deceased and a neighbor saw a man, perfectly matching your description, run from the apartment. Make it easy on everybody and confess to strangling your girlfriend.”

  “Why don’t you kiss my ass,” Leeds sneered up at Detective Grimes.

  Jason had long run out of patience. His displeasure came out in his physical action of grabbing the suspect by the front of his t-shirt, shoving Leeds and the metal chair he was in roughly up against the cement block wall. The back of Leeds’s head smacked the wall. “Not the answer we were looking for, asshole.”

  “Hey, hey, easy buddy.” Grimes separated his partner from Leeds. He had never seen Jason like this.

  “Now I’m calling my lawyer!” Leeds shouted, pointing at Jason. “And he’s going to sue your ass for police brutality!”

  “I’m going to get a coffee,” Jason mumbled as he left the room, slamming the door. He knew his actions had been wrong, but didn’t care.

  It was less than an hour when his commanding officer requested his presence in his office. Captain Saunders looked up at his detective as he entered the office. “You fucked up,” he informed Jason. “Now he’s lawyered up and wants your head on a platter.” He waited for a response from Jason and continued when he was met with silence. “Rookie mistake. You don’t make mistakes.” Saunders was leaving room for Jason to explain his behavior. Jason was too pissed off to recognize the opportunity.

  “So? Now we all know I’m not fucking perfect,” he growled.

  Saunders glared at the man standing in front of his desk. Jason’s behavior was foreign; in the decade Saunders had known Jason, never had he seen anything but professionalism from the detective. He studied Jason closer, recognizing the stress and lack of sleep in his tensed facial muscles and blood shot eyes. “Do you want to tell me what is going on with you?”

  “It has nothing to do with work,” Jason quickly answered in a defensive tone, glaring across the desk at his boss.

  “You’re not helping yourself here, Howard.” Saunders let out a huge sigh. “The lawyer has filed an official complaint against you. Are you going to tell me what is wrong?”

  Jason remained standing in front of the desk, arms crossed his chest. He said nothing but his body language spoke volumes.

  Saunders shook his head, but knew what needed to be done. “I’m putting you on leave. You’re not fit for duty.” His voice remained calm. “Give me your weapon and badge.”

  Jason angrily slid his badge across the desk at Saunders and placed his fir
earm down on the wooden surface. “You can have them,” Jason informed his boss in a gruff voice. “Doesn’t matter,” he muttered, letting out a long sigh.

  “Look Howard, I know you’ve had a lot going on in your personal life, and I’m sorry about it. Go home and get your shit together. I don’t want to see you back here until you do.” Jason glared at his boss, shook his head in disgust---Saunders wasn’t sure who the disgust was aimed at, and left.

  ***

  Just after sunrise, the reverend lumbered his way from the dirt parking lot into the old church. He had his Bible and notes clutched in his hands. As he reached the door and managed his way up the steps, he smiled as he heard birds chirping. He turned away from the building to attempt to get a glimpse of the singing birds. What he saw was a lone, empty car parked in the lot. What had caught his attention was that it was blue and fancy---not a car any of his parishioners could afford. With a shrug, he turned back to the church and went inside. He had to concentrate on his preparations for the morning service set to start in a few hours.

  ***

  In the morning, Mia was relieved to find out when she arrived at work that Tyler wouldn’t be in until later. After the end of the night kiss on her door step the night before, Mia had dreaded facing him. She had to tell him that she was still in love with Jason. Mia wondered how her boss would take the news.

  The first part of Mia’s shift was slow. Only three patients were seen in the morning. It wasn’t until early Sunday afternoon that a steady stream of patients started to arrive. Mia had just eaten a sandwich when her oldest and sickest patient of the day was brought in by EMS.

  The stretcher rolled through the glass doors, into the ED. A small, pale elderly gentleman was on the stretcher, retching uncontrollably. His heart rate was fast---tachycardic, and his blood pressure was beginning to drop. Mia’s first though as she took in the poor pallor, fluid bolus running into a large bore IV, tachy rhythm on the heart monitor and non-rebreather delivering oxygen to the patient, was a heart attack. As the nurses connected the gentleman to the ED monitors, Mia received the patient history from one of the medics.

  “This is Mr. John Morton, seventy-four. He was at church services today and had an acute onset of severe abdominal pain, nausea and vomiting. His wife said she made him toast this morning. We’ve given him almost a full liter of fluid and his vitals are worsening.”

  Mia started to examine her patient. Blood had been drawn and sent to the lab. A second intravenous line had been initiated by one of the nurses. Mr. Morton continued to vomit. Mia ordered a dose of Zofran as an EKG was being completed. She started to ask her patient about his pain while she gently listened to his lungs and abdomen but he did not have the strength to respond. His breathing became more and more labored as his oxygen levels were dropping. “We’re going to have to intubate.” she told the nurses.

  They worked to stabilize the patient for over an hour. Once intubated, Morton continued to decline. Fluid boluses and vasopressors did not work to increase his blood pressure. The low pressure was causing stress and hypoxia to major organs. Every blood test that resulted revealed organ failure. Mia knew if he stayed in the small hospital, his chance of survival was slim. She arranged for transport of her patient to the major medical center fifty miles away.

  Once Morton’s transport was arranged, Mia started to make a dent in the patients waiting to be seen. Every bed in the emergency room was occupied. All the symptoms were eerily similar; nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain and cramps. The only factor that seemed to vary was the severity of the symptoms.

  “Where were you when you started to feel sick?” Mia asked her patient, fifty-three year old Wanda Donahue.

  “Church service had just ended. I was talking with a few friends when the nausea hit me.”

  Mia heard almost the same story from ten patients. All had been at the same church service and all had been socializing afterwards. There had been coffee and various baked goods left over from a bake sale the parishioners had been eating.

  “Do you know how to get in touch with the infectious disease nurse for the hospital?” Mia asked Helene, the charge nurse on duty.

  “It’s Sunday,” Helen replied with surprise.

  “Yes, it is. And there seems to be some sort of public health outbreak at this church.” Mia informed the nurse. “Do you know how to reach her?”

  “I’ll call the house supervisor and find out,” Helene told Mia with a sigh. She felt the young, new ED doc from Boston was being overzealous with concern.

  Mia worked on treating and stabilizing patients and had forgotten about her request to speak with the infectious disease nurse. When Tyler finally arrived, like the cavalry, Mia realized Helen had never followed up. Undeterred, Mia found contact information for the Maine CDC. She had already spoken with Northern New England Poison Control Center (NNEPC); she had been instructed to send blood and emesis for testing. Unbeknown to Mia, she had initiated a full-fledged investigation into the eerily similar symptoms dozens of patients exhibited. The National Poisoning Data System had sent off an automated alert regarding the potential public health outbreak and threat occurring in the small Maine town.

  Once Tyler arrived, he immediately jumped in and started to see patients. Anytime Tyler moved anywhere near her, Mia felt uncomfortable. Diana’s warning echoed in Mia’s mind. She had been looking for a place to lick her wounds, not being put in the position of dodging her bosses’ advances. Mia needed to tell him that she wasn’t interested. She had been wrong to go out with him.

  The rest of her shift flew by. Mia had never eaten and she couldn’t even remember if she had ever taken a bathroom break. She was exhausted. The waiting room was empty; Tyler had things under control. She slipped out of the hospital without saying goodbye to him. She walked home, the cool night air leaving her chilled but not doing much to arouse her from the fatigue her whole body felt.

  Mia had fallen asleep on the couch. The knock at her door woke her. Mia opened it to find Tyler standing there with a bottle of wine in hand. “Hi there,” he greeted her. “Why don’t you let me come in?” Mia was shocked to see him standing there. He took advantage of her response and brushed passed her, walking into her living room. “Were you sleeping?” He thought she looked tired. “Am I working you too hard?” he teased.

  “Why are you here?” Mia was surprised he had materialized at her door.

  “I am taking you to dinner.” He stood by the fireplace and his eyes ran up and down her body, taking in the tight pajama pants and t-shirt she wore. She had stripped off her scrubs, bra and panties earlier when she had arrived home from the hospital. She had no intention of going anywhere but to bed. “Maybe we should have desert first?” The ends of his mouth curled up into a smile, enjoying the view.

  “I’m not interested.” Mia’s tone was short. She was tired and she wanted him to leave. Tonight, Mia didn’t want to discuss why she wasn’t going to see him anymore. She just wanted sleep. Before she had a chance to expand on that thought, Tyler’s arms grabbed her and his mouth was on hers. He overpowered her physically, moving them towards the couch and then his heavy body on top of hers, pressing her into the couch cushions. Mia pushed against him, trying to resist. He didn’t budge, only pressed his body tighter to hers. She could feel his erection straining against his jeans. In one swift motion, with one hand, he grabbed onto her arms and held them over her head, the other hand roaming under her sweater, caressing her breasts. She couldn’t move. Panic rose in her; would he rape her?

  “What the hell?!” Jason had entered through the open door of the cottage. Without waiting for any response, he lunged at Tyler, tackling him off from Mia. His face blazed with rage. He pulled back his right arm, ready to take a swing at the man but Mia’s scream stopped him.

  “Jason!” She jumped up off the couch and both her hands grabbed his flexed arm. Mia had not been expecting him but was more than ecstatic about his timing.

  “Who the fuck is this?!” he demanded, as he
his eyes shot fire at the man who had been kissing and groping Mia. This was not at all the greeting that he had expected. He hadn’t known what to expect, but this certainly hadn’t been any of the scenarios he had conjured up.

  For a moment, Tyler had been caught off guard. He got himself off the floor and started for the door. “I guess I will be going,” he said. He gave Mia a cocky grin and moved towards the door, not fast enough for Jason.

  The smirk had done it for Jason. “You’re damn right you’re leaving,” Jason snapped at him as he shoved him, and then connected a right hook into Tyler’s face. “You better get out of here while you can still walk.” Tyler didn’t fall, but stumbled, glared at Jason, and weighed his options. He really didn’t want to return to work bruised and bloodied. For now, it was time to retreat.

  “You’re lucky I’m not filing assault charges, asshole” Tyler taunted as he left.

  “What is going on?” Jason stood, his chest heaving from the confrontation and anger, waiting for a response from Mia.

  “That wasn’t what it looked like,” Mia sighed, her voice vulnerable. “I didn’t invite him here.” She was shaking and her heart was pounding. What if Jason hadn’t shown up? Would Tyler have raped her? Tyler had been the one in total control; she certainly wasn’t strong enough to fight him off.

  “Are you okay?” Jason noticed her shivering.

  “I’m glad you’re here,” she said as she moved towards his chest and hugged him. Jason put his arms around her.

  “Are you going to tell me who he is?”

  “My boss,” Mia mumbled into Jason’s chest. “He wanted to take me to dinner.”

  “Have you told him no?”

  “Yes,” Mia told him. At least tonight she had. “He doesn’t seem to take rejection well.” She snuggled closer against Jason’s chest. Oh, how she had missed feeling his embrace.

  He was more than relieved to hear that Mia hadn’t been dating someone else. He decided to ignore what had just happened, for the moment, and talk about why he had driven all afternoon to see her. When Jason had made the decision to drive to Maine, he had been at the end of his rope. Whatever it would take to get Mia back, he was willing to do. Jason pulled Mia away from him so he could see her face. “I took some time off,” he told her. “We need to talk. I need a chance to fix things between us.”