Fox Lost (The Madison Wolves)

by Robin Roseau

  "Cold," I said.

  "I know," said Elisabeth. "Deirdre, feed her."

  "How is Serena?"

  "Sleeping. Let's worry about you now, Little Fox."

  "I can't feel my feet, Elisabeth, and I'm so cold."

  "You've lost a lot of blood," she said.

  Then Deirdre popped a piece of fast food chicken into my mouth. I chewed and swallowed. She kept feeding me until I said, "Enough."

  "Michaela," Elisabeth said, "You stopped bleeding, but the muscles of both calves are shredded. I think you sealed the blood vessels. Can you fix it?"

  I closed my eyes and leaned heavily against her.

  "Michaela," she said. "You need to heal. Do I need to make it an order?"

  I opened my eyes and leaned to look at her. "Another minute," I said. "Someone needs to be my eyes."

  "I can," Deirdre said.

  "Unwrap them," I said. Deirdre bent over and gingerly unwrapped the blanket from my legs. I couldn't really see them, but I saw the blood on the blanket. Her look told me more than I wanted to know.

  I closed my eyes. "Are my feet still attached?"

  "Yes," she said in a quiet voice. "The muscles of both calves are shredded. You're oozing blood, but it's not spurting."

  "Are the bones whole?"

  "They appear to be."

  I opened my eyes. "Show me on your legs the last part that looks healthy."

  She pointed to a spot a few inches below the backs of her knees. "Michaela, the muscles aren't just shredded. They're entirely gone. I know werewolves can heal quite a bit, but I've never seen one heal that much missing tissue."

  I closed my eyes and leaned my head to speak quietly to Elisabeth. "Elisabeth, I don't want to live a crippled fox."

  "Listen to me, Michaela. You already had phenomenal healing power, and Carissa told Lara it would be even better."

  "If I can't heal this, let me die of blood loss, Elisabeth."

  "No."

  "Elisabeth, please."

  "No. Listen to me, and listen good." And suddenly I couldn't talk. "You. Will. Heal. You will not feel any pain. You will focus on your legs and you will heal them. Now."

  I couldn't help it. She had ordered. I opened myself to my legs. There was pain, but it didn't register. But I didn't know what to do. I tried, healing, but I didn't know what to do. I began to tremble.

  "It's not working," Deirdre said.

  "Michaela," Elisabeth said into my ear. "I ordered you to heal your legs. Tell me why you aren't healing."

  "I need to see, Elisabeth."

  "Deirdre, pick a leg and turn it so she can see what she has to do."

  "It's going to hurt."

  "Do it!"

  Maybe it should have hurt, but I didn't feel it. She unbuckled her seatbelt then carefully picked one of my legs, grabbing a foot and underneath a knee. She lifted the leg then rotated it so I could see the calf.

  It was a mess.

  "Heal it, Michaela. Now!"

  And, slowly, I did, but I passed out long before I was done.

  Recovery

  "Wake up, Little Fox." Lara's breath tickled my ear and slowly, I opened my eyes. I stared at the ceiling for a while.

  "Where?" I finally croaked.

  "Carissa's home in New Orleans," Lara replied.

  "How long?"

  "We landed yesterday morning."

  "My legs?" I felt tears leaking from my eyes.

  "Oh, Little Fox," she said, "you're going to be fine. Don't cry. You may limp for few days, but you'll be running as good as ever very soon."

  "Promise?"

  "I promise."

  "Serena?"

  "She's fine. We're all fine."

  I slowly turned my head to face her. The world spun, and I closed my eyes, waiting for it to stop.

  "You are probably very weak," Lara said. "But you're going to be fine."

  I lay there for a while, trying to think. Although she wasn't touching me, I could feel Lara. I knew exactly where she was. I opened my eyes again. She was so beautiful, the most amazing creature on the planet.

  "You are so beautiful," I said, my voice filled with awe.

  She smiled.

  "I can feel you, Lara."

  "I can feel you, too, Little Fox," she said.

  "How?"

  "Carissa passed the blood thrall to me."

  It took several heartbeats for her words to make sense. "I-" I swallowed. "I belong to you now."

  "You have belonged to me since the day we met, Little Fox. And I to you."

  I thought about the implications. "That's all right, then. You'll take care of me." I smiled. "You must be in heaven."

  "Oh honey," she said, "No. We'll talk about it more when you're stronger."

  It was difficult keeping my eyes open, so I let them close. "I'm so tired."

  "I know, honey, but I'm going to help you eat a little something before you sleep again."

  "Did we do okay?"

  "Yes, Little Fox. We did very well. You were amazing."

  "Will there be repercussions for the pack?"

  "We are not welcome in the territory controlled by the Master of Atlanta, which is Georgia and the Carolinas."

  "What about the other vampires?"

  "Lima Consulting is negotiating reparations for us." I could hear the humor in her voice.

  "Reparations?"

  "They attacked us," Lara explained. "You and Serena were severely injured. Privately, Greg knows all we really want is to avoid being dragged into vampire politics any worse than we already have been. But the best defense is a good offense, so we went on the offensive. Greg believes at the very least, he'll be able to extract us from any difficulties."

  My eyes still closed, I reached out for her hands. "Are you mad at me?"

  "Oh honey, no. I am proud of you. You were magnificent. Your weapons saved us."

  "My stubbornness got us into the mess in the first place."

  "No, honey. Your compassion did, and I am never going to blame you for being compassionate. I wouldn't have admitted it ahead of time, but we did the right thing, start to finish. The only mistake we made was not having a lot more of those squirt guns. Elisabeth may never give those back to you."

  "She better give them back. I don't think she has what it takes to fill them, and I had to modify them carefully to keep them from leaking."

  "Did you have more questions, Little Fox?"

  "May I go back to sleep?"

  "In a few minutes," she replied. "I have a couple more things for you, and then we're going to give you a little to eat. Open your eyes, Michaela."

  My eyes snapped open, and I felt a surge of pleasure at obeying her order.

  "All your previous orders are cancelled. Tell me what orders you are following."

  "None, Lara."

  "From now until we get home, you will do whatever is necessary to recuperate."

  "Yes, Lara."

  "From now until we get home, you will allow me, Elisabeth, Serena and Karen to protect you."

  "Yes, Lara."

  "From now until we arrive at home, you will follow any orders from me, Elisabeth, or Serena."

  "Yes, Lara."

  "You will interpret any apparent orders as suggestions unless we specifically tell you it is an order. To be clear, I have given you four orders."

  I smiled dreamily at her. "I understand, Lara."

  She returned my smile. "Everyone wants to see you. I am going to let them in. We'll feed you a little, help you to the bathroom, then if you want to sleep, you may."

  "Will someone hold me while I sleep?"

  She nodded. "Someone has been with you around the clock. I'll be right back, honey. Will you be all right?"

  "Yes, Lara."

  She climbed from the bed. I closed my eyes and curled up under the covers. I felt weak and tired, but strangely happy. I wondered if that was the thrall. I wondered what my life was going to become, but I knew Lara would take care of me. Somehow that thought gave me
pleasure.

  Lara was only gone a few moments. The bedroom door opened, and I heard all four wolves enter the room.

  "Hello, Little Fox," Elisabeth said.

  "I want my squirt guns back, Elisabeth," I said.

  She laughed. "We'll see."

  "Let's sit her up," said Lara. The two of them took opposite sides of my bed, and with their help, I sat up. They arranged me in the bed.

  I looked around. Karen was carrying a tray and looked fine. Serena had her arm in a sling, but she was smiling. "Are you going to be all right?" I asked her.

  "This?" she said. "Yes. I'm just taking the strain off the shoulder for another day or two."

  "We have some soup and a little bread for you," Lara said. "Will you let me feed you?"

  "I can do it," I said.

  "Please, honey," she replied. "Just this once."

  I nodded. "All right."

  Lara carefully moved onto the bed next to me and then Karen set the tray down across both our laps.

  "That's too much," I said quietly.

  "Eat what you can," Lara replied. She dunked a bit of the bread in the soup and offered it to me. I ate slowly, Lara urging more food into me than I really wanted. Finally I told her I couldn't eat another bite, and Karen took the rest away, setting it aside.

  "The bathroom is across the hall," Lara said.

  I peeked under the bed covers. I was wearing an oversized tee shirt and a pair of undies. My legs were wrapped in bandages from my knees down. I stared at them for a minute before turning to Lara.

  "You promised I'd be fine."

  "You will," she said. "I promise."

  I nodded then let Lara peel the covers away from me. She and Elisabeth carefully maneuvered me out of the bed, Elisabeth helping me turn while Lara took care of my legs. Karen stepped forward, and she and Lara helped me stand.

  I stood there for a moment, putting weight on my legs. They hurt, but not horribly so. I shuffled forward a couple of steps, moving carefully. They helped me across the hall.

  Five minutes later, they tucked me back into the bed. I lay on my side, and Lara slipped into the bed with me, wrapping me in her arms.

  "Will you all stay until I'm asleep?" I asked.

  "Of course," said Serena. "We couldn't possibly leave you, Michaela."

  They were treating me very well. I wondered what they weren't telling me. I dozed off before I could form any theories.

  * * * *

  I opened my eyes. Serena lay on the bed, turned away from me, and I could see the edge of a book she was reading. I leaned forward, curling into her back and slipping an arm over her hip.

  "Hey," she said.

  "Hey yourself."

  "You've been asleep about four hours. Do you need to use the bathroom?"

  "In a minute. Serena, if I ask you a question, will you answer honestly?"

  "I can try." She leaned forward and set her book on the nightstand, then rolled onto her back and turned her head to face me. Her arm was still in the sling.

  "Why is everyone coddling me?"

  "Oh, Michaela, we were very worried about you, but you're going to be fine."

  "My legs?"

  "There's some scarring. I bet when you're stronger, you'll be able to heal it away like you do everything else."

  "I want you to gently pinch my toes, Serena, one at a time."

  "Can't you feel them?"

  "I don't know."

  "All right." She climbed from the bed then peeled the covers back from my feet. "Left foot," she said. And she tickled my big toe.

  "Pinch," I said. "Not tickle."

  "Does this answer your question, Michaela?"

  "Do the rest."

  So one at a time, she wriggled each toe. When she was done, I wriggled them myself.

  "See?" she said. "Right as rain. For your bathroom trip, do you think you'll need more help than I can give you?"

  "I guess we'll see," I said. I worked my way out of bed, and then Serena moved next to me so I was on her good side. I was wobbly when I stood, and I leaned on her, but I was steadier than earlier. Still, I was ready to be back in bed when she returned me. Serena tucked me in, sitting up so I could eat a little, and then I grabbed her hand.

  "You didn't actually answer my question, you know. Please sit and tell me, Serena."

  She sat and brushed my hair from my face. "You're going to be fine," she said.

  I looked down at my hands, resting on top of the blankets. "If you don't want to answer, I wish you would simply say so."

  "Honey, we were justified being worried about you."

  "And still you don't answer."

  "We aren't coddling you," she said. "We're taking care of you. I do not believe the treatment you are receiving is significantly different than the other times you've needed a little care."

  "There's bad news, Serena, isn't there?"

  She didn't answer right away, so I knew I was right.

  "I'm just going to worry now that you confirmed it."

  "Deirdre doesn't know if she can break the blood thrall for you."

  "Is that all, Serena? Nothing else?"

  "Nothing else."

  I relaxed more fully against the pillows. "One side effect of the thrall is that it feels good. I don't want it broken, Serena. Maybe I'm tired of fighting all the time. I've spent my entire life afraid. I've spent my entire life learning to fight wolves. I've spent my entire life making weapons and setting traps. I don't know how many times I've had legs broken or ribs cracked. Until this week, I couldn't imagine any other life. But I know what Lara is going to do. She's going to keep me safe. She's going to order me to let all of you protect me. She's going to have my omega status reinstalled and take away my weapons."

  Serena looked at me sadly, but I went on.

  "I may never be hurt again. I may never have to fight again. I may never again need to live on the edge of my wits and reaction times." I sighed. "Do I want to depend on all of you? No. I want to be self-sufficient, just like I always have been. But Lara isn't going to let me. Without the thrall, I couldn't possible abdicate my responsibility for my own safety. But Lara is going to order it, and the thrall will make obeying her feel good."

  "Michaela," she started to say.

  "Lara is going to get exactly what she wants, Serena. She's going to have an obedient little mate who does everything she can to please her. I'll never be a pain in the ass for anyone again. We won't fight anymore. No more anger. I'll dress how she wants, act how she wants, and I'll feel so good doing it, every time she smiles, I'll be filled with pleasure, knowing I pleased her."

  "Do you really think that's what she wants, Michaela?"

  "Yes."

  "Well, you're wrong. If she wanted the kind of mate you've just described, she wouldn't have pursued you. Michaela, do you remember during your ransom night, we made a recording of Lara telling us the things she loved most about you. Do you remember what she said?"

  "Yes," I said.

  "She said you never back down. She pointed out how small you are, but you attacked her anyway. It wasn't in the recording, but I heard how you stared her in the eye. None of us do that, Michaela. When you stood up to her, staring her in the eye, that was when she decided she wanted you."

  "A conquest-"

  "No! For her mate. That's when she decided, Michaela, and everything you've done since then has proven to her and everyone else how right she was."

  I looked back at my hands. "She hates when I stand up to her."

  "No, she doesn't. She thrives on it, Michaela."

  I sat quietly. "So you're saying she's now stuck with a mate she doesn't want because I let Carissa manipulate me?"

  "No, I am not saying that at all. Look at me."

  Her order took a moment to process. Lara had told me to obey Serena, but she also said I could consider commands as suggestions unless the person stressed it was a command. But I lifted my eyes and looked at her anyway.

  "She loves you, Michaela. Unconditi
onally. And, I will point out, so do Elisabeth, Angel, Scarlett, and me. And nothing is going to change that."

  "Serena," I said after a moment, "I wasn't trying to have a pity party. I was only trying to tell you it's okay."

  "Well, it's not okay," she replied. "The reason we're coddling you isn't because of the thrall. It's because Lara has asked Deirdre to try to break it anyway, and it's dangerous. We're waiting until you're stronger. Everyone is still worried."

  I wanted to try to comfort her, but I didn't know how.

  Finally she said, "I'll get you something to eat."

  * * * *

  When next I woke, I was in Lara's arms. I recognized her, asleep behind me. I snuggled into her, waking her.

  "Hey," she said quietly. "How do you feel?"

  "Like I've been in bed too long." I kissed her hands then rolled onto my back, turning my head to face her, our noses only inches apart.

  My heart did a pitter patter, and for a moment, I couldn't even think. I must have put on a glazed expression, because after a moment Lara asked, "The thrall?"

  I smiled. "Or maybe just remembering how much I love you." I gazed at her for a while, incredibly happy to be held.

  "Will you let me tell you something, Lara?" I asked.

  "Of course, Little Fox."

  "I don't want you to break it."

  "Oh honey," she said. "Serena told me what you told her. I am going to ask you some questions. I will not demand answers, but if you answer, you must be completely honest."

  "Of course, Lara."

  "Before the thrall, did you ever think about just giving into my desires to protect you?"

  "All the time, Lara," I said.

  She leaned away a little bit, far enough she could see more of me.

  "I ordered you to tell the truth."

  "I did," I said, hurt that she didn't believe me. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see her expression of distrust.

  "Oh, Michaela," she said, and then she caressed my cheek. "I believe you honey, but I am surprised. Can you please explain so I can understand? Please don't be sad."

  I opened my eyes again. She was smiling, just the corners of her mouth, but her brow was furrowed, the crinkles at the corners of her eyes showing. I reached out to smooth her brow. "Please don't worry."

  "I need to understand, Michaela."

  "You asked if I thought about it, Lara," I said. "But you also know what I decided every time I thought about it."