iFeel

by Marissa Carmel

  “The abandoned merry-go-round,” I answer mindlessly. “It’s on the outskirts of Point Beach, near the burned down pier.” I take a sip from the glass. “It’s all that’s left from the fire.”

  My mind is in such a vacant haze. The only thing I feel is the Stalker coursing through my veins. I stand up and the boys rally around me. In my dazed state, I break away from the protective circle, fleeing for the door, right before I leave the room, I notice Jayden’s magic mirror is smashed to pieces.

  “Where are you going?” Justice asks.

  “To take a shower.”

  “But you just took a shower?”

  “I need another one,” and with that I disappear from their sight. I try to figure out how my perfect day suddenly turned into ruins. In one split-second everything changed. I never expected it to come to this.

  He wants to take everything from me. He’ll never stop, not until one of three things happen. He gets me. Justice gets him. Or, tragically, both.

  I turn on the shower and carelessly drop my clothes to the floor. All I want is to wash my body clean of the Stalker; if I could scrub from the inside out I would. I just want his stain off me. Unfortunately, I have a feeling no matter how potent the soap, getting rid of him isn’t going to be that easy.

  Cashing Out

  I stood before a wall of shoes. Jocelyn insists I borrow a pair to go with my new ‘pull Liv out of her depression of despair’ dress. We are having a girl’s night. But it is one with a gloomy undertone.

  Jocelyn, Melenia and I are going to Dealth’s only restaurant, The Warden House. It is the most expensive and exclusive dining establishment in three counties. It’s a place where waiters wear white gloves and the food is created by a chef who was awarded the Michelin Star several times over. If I was in any another state of mind this could be one of the most exciting experiences of my life, being a foodie and all, but it’s not.

  All I want is to stay home and sulk with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, because I know tonight is going to have tragic consequences. I can feel it in my bones; they’re soggy and arduous. But my hand is being forced, and I have no choice but to take part in the events that have been laid out before me, no matter how much I object to them.

  “Did you make a decision?” Jocelyn asks.

  She startles me right out of my thoughts. “I hate it when you do that.”

  “Do what?”

  “Sneak up on me.”

  “I didn’t sneak up on you; I can’t help it if my footsteps don’t make any sounds. It’s just part of who I am.”

  She looks like a goddess in her coral tube dress and strappy heels, the ends of her hair hanging perfectly in the medium of her neck, picking up the flecks of light all around her. I seriously hate her for her perfection. But like she said, it’s just part of who she is.

  I look up at the smorgasbord of shoes. It’s like I’m standing in one of Carrie Bradshaw’s wildest dreams. Every designer known to man is an inhabitant here. Versace, Vuitton, Choo and Louboutin, all lay claim to a spot on the shelf. And they all have a price tag bigger than my braces in high school.

  “Well?” She asks. “They won’t hold the reservation all night.”

  I point to a pair on the top shelf that is way out of my reach.

  “Very nice choice,” she grins, and without effort, she leaps the eight feet to retrieve my pick. I can’t help but watch amazed. I know I’m part of this magical world and all, but my powers are just not that cool.

  I slip on the Rene Caovilla gladiator pumps with the gold heels. They are the perfect match to my little black, one shoulder, slip dress. I have to admit; I feel a bit like a socialite donned in the best designers.

  I walk into Justice’s room to say good-bye. He eyes light up as I enter.

  “You look phenomenal. It’s almost criminal you’re wasting that dress on Jocelyn and Melenia.”

  “Well, you could forget about this whole demon-hunt-thing and come with us; I’m sure it would be just as exciting.” I pout.

  He gives me a rejected look. “We’re going. I’m putting an end to this, tonight.”

  I cross my arms. We’ve been fighting about this all week. “I really wish you weren’t doing this; I have a bad feeling, a very, very, bad feeling.” I emphasize the word bad.

  “Nothing bad is going to happen,” he tells me once again in a tense voice. “Besides, what happened to the girl who isn’t afraid to tempt danger?” He thinks he’s being slick.

  “She’s still here, and something is telling her that this is all very wrong. It feels like you’re walking into a trap.”

  “It’s called the element of surprise. He has no idea we’re coming.”

  “How can you know that?” I demand.

  “Because this is what I do. Demon-hunter.” He says like Duh!

  “That doesn’t sound like a good enough reason to me.” I scowl. “I just wish you would think this through a little more.”

  “Liv, I’m done arguing about this.” He says firmly. “Aayden and Jayden are getting the truck ready, and you are going out with Jocelyn and Melenia while we take care of business.”

  “Take care of business? This isn’t like you’re trading stocks on Wall Street Justice, this is your life we’re talking about.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong,” he corrects. “It’s your life, we’re talking about.”

  I clenched my fists. “You shouldn’t be doing this, something in the pit of my stomach is telling me so.”

  “Liv,” he expels a soft breath and sits me down on the edge of his bed. He kneels down in front of me, so we are almost eye to eye. “Please don’t worry so much, I promise it will be over before you know anything even happened.”

  I give him an apprehensive look. “I won’t be able to live with myself if something…” I can’t even finish the sentence without the emotions taking over. I don’t just love Justice; I love them all.

  He grips my tiny hands in his. “Do you know how important you are?” He asks.

  “Of course I do; you only remind me every other day that I’m number-one on the enchanted endangered species list.”

  He rolls his eyes.

  “No Liv, to me. Do you know how important you are to me?”

  I stare at him as his Caribbean blue eyes pierce through my amethyst ones. I don’t have an answer. I can’t possibly know how he feels because he is the one person I can’t feel. If anyone else in the world asked me that question, I could answer with more depth than even they were aware of, but with him, it’s different. He is my only contest.

  “I know how important you are to me,” I say softly.

  “So knowing that, would you ever do anything to put me in danger?”

  “Never.”

  “It is exactly the same for me. I would never let any harm come to you.” He says in declaration.

  “It’s not me I’m worried about, if anything were to happen to you, to any of you, I could never live with myself. I brought this into your world…” I shake my head in remorse.

  “That’s where you’re wrong,” he lifts my chin so our eyes can meet. “This was already a part of my world, the only thing you brought was yourself into my life. You’re the daylight in my darkness, and I would never do anything to jeopardize that.”

  His words make me fall to pieces. I’ve always known what the Stalker was capable of doing to me, but I never considered what he could do to Justice, until he forced it upon me, making it even more terrifying to let him go.

  I muster up all the courage I have, which amounts to no more than a snowballs’ worth, a very small, melting, snowball, in order to be strong for him.

  “Ok,” I resign. “Do what you have to.”

  He leans in and brushes his lips against mine; my tailbone tingles from their touch.

  “Go and have a nice dinner and try not to think about me while you’re out.”

  Like that could ever happen.

  “Have a drink to relax yourself, in fact, have a few. We will
be gone and back before you know it, and then it will be over.”

  God, I can’t wait for it to be over.

  “Liv?” Melenia calls, she walks into Justice’s room dressed in a perfectly tailored black pant suit with a provocative dropped neckline. “Jocelyn is waiting in the car.”

  I look at Justice as if it is the last time I am ever going to see him; he is the first person to ever make me want to live for something. He is my angel, my immortal.

  “You better go,” he urges, but I can’t, not yet. I don’t want to leave him, even though on some level it feels like he has already let me go. He bends over and kisses the exposed side of my neck and whispers something strange into my ear, “forever and a day.”

  I look at him curiously, but he only smiles.

  “Justice let’s roll!” Aayden’s voice rings through the house prompting his departure.

  I climb into the back seat of Jocelyn’s X5 and watch The Cliffs as she drives away. I want to run back screaming, begging them not to go, but I know it won’t change anything. So I turn away, despondent.

  I can’t help but think that true soldiers run towards the battle.

  At dinner, I stab at my poached pear and mescaline salad. The inside of The Warden House is exactly the same as I had once seen in a magazine. The large dining room has barrel ceilings and whimsical table cloths matched with polished high back chairs. The space is breathtaking and opulent enclosed in floor to ceiling windows showcasing the Atlantic.

  Jocelyn and Melenia seem to be oblivious to the parallel of the night. They dine happily without a care in the world, which annoys me immensely.

  I stare out the window. It’s a dark night; the full moon comes and goes behind rolling black and blue clouds. It reminds me of a clip you’d see in a werewolf movie-ominous.

  “Liv, will you stop looking so mopey,” Jocelyn demands. “You’re bringing the whole place down, that guy over there is going to die of depression in his soup.”

  “I just don’t understand how the two of you can go on with no worries.”

  “The boys have done this a thousand times,” Melenia confides in her chimey voice. “And we’re usually out there with them.”

  “I kind of miss the action.” Jocelyn admits.

  “I just can’t shake this bad feeling.” I say prodding at my salad.

  “Look,” Jocelyn insists, “if it makes you feel better I will tell you the second I know it’s over; the boys are too far away for me to hear anything right now. So please try to enjoy yourself, you have no idea what I had to do to get these reservations on such short notice.”

  I gave her an inquiring look.

  “Don’t even ask.” She tells me.

  I survey my surroundings; I have to be nuts not to at least try and find some pleasure out of this. Eating in one of the finest culinary establishments in the state, wearing the most expensive shoes that will probably ever be on my feet, and not wanting to dive into a bunker to shield myself from the swirling emotions is a virtual trifecta. So what’s the problem?

  No genuine enjoyment.

  ***

  We walk into the dark house. There’s been no word from the boys, which is driving me crazier by the minute. My bad feeling only got worse through dinner. Vino or not, this sensation isn’t going away. Something is wrong; I’m sure of it. I just can’t pinpoint what.

  “Joz? Can you tell where they are yet?” I ask for the zillionth time as I flip on a light in the media room. Before she can answer her eyes grow wide with emergency.

  “LIV!” She screams trying to reach out her hand, but she is thrust out of the room and into the kitchen, as if she has just been flung from a sling shot. She slides across the ceramic tile and crashes underneath the large wooden table. I didn’t see what propelled her as panic ensues. I turn to Melenia, who is searing towards me at airborne speeds. She reaches for me with the same exigency in her hazel eyes, but like Jocelyn is hurled away as if someone has taken a baseball bat to her body. She flies through one of the giant bay windows shattering it to pieces; her limp body lying on the stamped cement underneath the passing moonlight. My breaths start to shorten like they are clipped from within, then I feel it, that familiar stain in the air; it tiptoes right into my subconscious. I try to collect my thoughts, but it is nearly impossible after seeing my two friends swatted away like annoying flies.

  He is close now; the cold is radiating off his skin as he saunters around me like a mad man stalking in the night, his large black eyes inches away from mine. I tremble unsteadily in my heels as he runs a cold grey finger down the side of my cheek. The stroke is horrid; I hate it, like he can violate me with just its tip.

  Then, suddenly, a streak of fire blazes behind my neck as Jocelyn viciously attacks the Stalker. They crash into the pool table cracking it in half. The sound of assaults echo around me as I just stand there immobilized. Their bodies stirring so fast all I can see are darts of blue destroying the furniture.

  “Liv! Run!” Jocelyn shouts. But I can’t move, it’s like my feet are bonded in cement, and I’m about to take a swim with the fishes.

  She throws a punch, as if in slow motion, sending the Stalker flying into the kitchen where they fight more intensely, cupboards cracking and dishes breaking all around them.

  And then, one of my worst fears comes sobering true. The Stalker has Jocelyn by the neck, her feet dangling in the air; I can see the cold twisted look on his face; I want to do something, but I’m completely helpless. Melenia please wake up! I wish I could scream, but my vocal cords have been disconnected; all my functions are on pause.

  I hear a crack.

  The Stalker drops Jocelyn to the floor. He stands triumphant over her lifeless body mangled on the ground. I unravel, shaking inconsolably at the sight. One tiny tear escapes down my face as reality hits. The relentless predator then turns his focus back to me. The real reason he is here. Jocelyn and Melenia are merely insignificant distractions.

  He is by me quickly. His vacant eyes close to mine once again. He catches my tear on the tip of his violating finger and looks down at it with amusement.

  “Everything dies in its own time,” he says in a low jagged voice.

  “It wasn’t her time.” I barely breathe.

  “Apparently it is.” He grins.

  I stand there like a slave to his advancements as he slowly deconstructs my senses. “Look into my face,” he says in a painfully seductive tone. “Let me step into your soul.”

  I know giving in to him is a mistake. My weakness will cause my demise, but his lure is just so much more powerful than my will.

  He pulls away the layers of my consciousness like they are the membrane of an onion; the pain grating me deeper and deeper. I have no energy to fight him. It is my time, and I can’t find any piece of myself to stop him.

  “NO!” A sharp voice suddenly screams distracting me from my enticer. Melenia is pulling herself up onto the windowsill. She hops into the house, her arms and face cut and bleeding.

  She throws something across the room. It looks like sparkly dust. It hits the Stalker like ignited gunpowder propelling him away from me.

  “RUN!” She demands, her tiny voice piercing my ears.

  I do as she says; somehow, I am free from my stupefied prison.

  I run through the kitchen and by Jocelyn’s body; she’s laying cold and stiff on the ground. I brush away another tear as I follow my feet not paying any attention to where they are taking me. I am suddenly on the sand.

  Why doesn’t anyone ever listen to the Empath? I wonder erratically as I rip off my shoes braking one of the buckles. It’s dark, and I can barely see the edge of the water. Where do I go now? Maybe escaping to the beach wasn’t the best idea. There is nothing but a stretch of sand and sea for miles. The April night is so cold, and I’m clad only in a tiny slip dress. If the Stalker doesn’t kill me, hypothermia will.

  On cue, the clouds uncover the moon giving me some light. It is only for a second, but it is enough to see where I h
ave to go. I run down to the jetty where the sand is chilly and wet. I find an opening to wedge my body; the tide is low so the crevices in the rocks are large enough to fit me.

  I cover my mouth to conceal my heavy breathing as I break out into an emotional fit. Jocelyn is dead. Where are the others? Has he killed them to? My mind is in a panic. Could he be dead? The sky is falling all around me. What do I do now?

  I can’t see anything through the blackness and the only sound I hear is the ripple of the waves. I wait for the clouds to pass; anxiously watching as they reel through the sky. As the light focuses my eyes, I realize I’m not alone. The Stalker rips me from my hiding place. “Found you,” he says as he tosses me over the jagged jetty, my body rolling and bouncing, being sliced by the rocks.

  “I have to admit; this is more fun than I thought it was going to be.” He says in his serrated voice.

  “Why is that?” I ask trying to steady myself on my hands and knees, the blood pouring out of me.

  “Because, I thought I was just going to come here and snap your little empathic neck and be done with it. I didn’t realize the Seraph’s would leave you with bodyguards. An oversight on my part.”

  “Where are they?” I ask through clenched teeth.

  “Who? Your little boyfriend? Probably still chasing my shadow.” He kneels in front of me gripping my chin in his hand. “I knew imbedding the thought of me wanting to kill him would push you over the edge, and send him chasing after me.”

  “You never wanted to kill him?’ I ask fatigued.

  “Oh God no, what would I get out of it? I know their power; I’m not suicidal. Five Seraph’s one Spirit Stalker, the odds are not in my favor. I choose to use brains not brawn. A tactic your little angel still needs to work on.”

  He pulls me to my feet, his hand gripped tightly around my neck. “So much power in you,” he strains. His eyes dancing in a deranged frenzy. “I should really thank the Seraph.”

  “For what?” I demand.

  “For aggravating you that night, you blended in with the rest of the sheep so well it was almost as if you were invisible. I would have never noticed you if he hadn’t provoked you. But as soon as you unleashed your emotions, it was like a glaring beacon of light right in front of my face. So powerful. I thought the stupid Seraph was gone when I had you on the dance floor. It was such an inconspicuous place to kill you. Almost perfect. You ingested every essence around you. You’re the most powerful Empath I have ever encountered.” He curves up his lips like a psycho killer. “They’re my favorite you know. It’s not like I am just killing one spirit, every soul you have ever touched lingers within you, giving me so much more bang for my buck.” His eyes widen with excitement.