Ugly Duckling: A True Life Story of Beauty, Manipulation and Murder

by Phillips, Royal

  _____

  OCTOBER 25, 2006

  Pam calls from Argentina. The boyfriend had a huge fight with her. He has left her there. She is now going to do the tango with the massage therapist she met in the hotel. Argentina doesn’t appear to be one of her future home bases.

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  CHRISTMAS 2006

  You can go nowhere even though you’ve made lists, packed and obeyed all the terrorist rules. You can find yourself tired and cranky and sometimes astounded at air travel shenanigans. My Canadian dive buddy invited me to join her in Belize for the holidays. After being turned away from my crack of dawn flight, and learning that the USA was in a white out, and it would take me 3 days to get to Belize, I cancelled my flight and returned home. At the front door there was a package from Pam. It was the softest white robe I had ever felt. I took a hot tub and snuggled up by the fire. Going nowhere.

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  CHRISTMAS DAY 2006

  When I call Pam to thank her for the luxurious robe, she shares that I was the only person that sent her family gifts. Pam is furious because when she went up to visit Tom in Woody Creek, she discovered that there were guards on the property keeping her away from him. Her kids went up to visit and found the same treatment. Pam moves on to another man and this is the last time I hear about Tom personally. He was such a fine gentleman.

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  MARCH 26, 2007

  Pam invites me to spend Easter with her on Grand Cayman Island in the Caribbean. Her kids will arrive from their schools later. We are in a $600 a day condo called Discovery Point situated on Seven Mile Beach. I came here to SCUBA dive with Paige and Captain many years ago. Cayman is a quiet, clean island, still under the Queen of England’s rule. It is also a place where people have secret bank accounts.

  I take Pam out into the water and teach her how to snorkel and point out poisonous stone and scorpion fish that are found on sandy ocean bottoms or rock crevices. We adjust our masks and I hold her hand. When she was a kid, she was fearless. Now, she is more hesitant. More cautious.

  When the orange sun sets later, Pam sits with her wine and I observe her listening to her iPod that has pundits from India chanting in her ears. She has recently been to India and has paid Hindu pundits thousand of dollars to chant with the hope that this action will change our family karma. I tell Pam about Mutzie paying the Little Sisters of the Poor Clares to pray for our family soul. I don’t think you can PAY for any kind of change.

  The lesson for me was to NOT repeat any of my family’s psychological nonsense.

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  MARCH 27, 2007

  Each morn I greet Pam on the veranda where she sits with her coffee and cigarettes and the ever present iPod with pundits blaring in her ears. She is on her cell phone constantly with all the lawyers she has working for her. I have listened to her repeated slams on how the USA is corrupt and the judicial system is crooked. And how people are framed without cause. I have listened to negative aspects over and over and say, “Yes, this is so heavy for you. It is almost beyond heavy.” She talks about checking out and being crucified. Calls go out and come in all day about lawyers and bank accounts and gossip as she is being written about in the papers. Pam is very upset that the journalists are printing her age. She warns me never to talk to anyone about this or anything she has told me. I tell her: “You’ve told me that before.” I said, “Maybe you like the notoriety. How on earth will you ever adjust to quiet after all this drama?” She said, “It’s after four, I’m going to go get drunk now.” I said, “Bye, bye, Pammie. I’m not going there with you.” I have promised myself to stay centered no matter what happens here.

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  MARCH 28, 2007

  It is morning on Seven Mile Beach. I see that Pam is still sleeping. I have taken my morning swim when she comes out complaining about her digestion. I suggest we do Epsom Salt soaks and maybe have a massage. After her morning coffee we drive to the local grocery store and get salts and laxatives. After our baths, she calls to me alarmed. Her bath water is brown. Pam tells me she has been constipated for two weeks. I reflect that we are prone to exaggeration but I do try everything to help her. I rub her feet and her stomach. She takes all forms of laxatives with no results. Then I suggest the salt solution that doctors prescribe before operations.

  This does the trick. Listening to chants, chain smoking and drinking somehow is the carrot and the stick. But what would I be doing if I was faced with a possible murder sentence and jail?

  _____

  MARCH 29, 2007

  We drive around the island. So much has been destroyed by the hurricanes and it is fairly empty this spring vacation. We explore the tiny hamlets after we pass Georgetown. I suggest we go one day to Hell. Pam thinks I am kidding but there is a turtle farm nearby and it is interesting to learn about. We make a plan to go to Hell when the kids come.

  Every day Pam harps on telling me what to say and what not to say. Pam tells me she is suing the United States Government and the beauty parlor woman that ruined her face with the Botox shots (although it doesn’t look ruined now). She has lots of lawyers and investigators. This trip is to prime the kids and me -- always an angle, it is very sad to watch. It’s almost as if she is taking herself down. The repetition is grinding on me and I finally tell her that she is insulting me. For someone who doesn’t want anyone to talk, there is a lot of talking going on.

  Later, I go for a massage and Pam goes to a bank.

  _____

  APRIL 1ST, 2007

  Trevor and Lois arrive! They are like a breath of fresh air. We drive out to meet them and go for sushi. Lois has flown from Switzerland and had $400 stolen from her purse on the plane and

  Trevor’s friends in Aspen have taken over Pam’s Aspen house with stacks of beer cases and huge speakers. Her bookkeeper calls and tells her that the kids are going to have a big party. Pam says it is okay. I am astounded that she does not execute more mature judgment. I ask her about the legal ramifications in giving permission for such an event. I remind Pam that she is the mother. She has no emotion and I decide to withdraw from the whole situation. I shake my head. It’s none of my business.

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  APRIL 2, 2007

  I cook spaghetti in honor of Pam’s 50th birthday coming up on the 14th. I have made a pink crown for her. The kids have now joined her drinking wine. She drinks a bottle a night.

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  APRIL 3, 2007

  I notice Pam favors Trevor, asking him what he wants but never asking Lois what she wants. I think Lois is smart and sweet but openly admits having a low self-image. I tell her I had one, too, but one can get past all the negatives. Pam tends to compliment them in a non-realistic way but Lois seems hip to that. She seems to know the truth. She says she doesn’t care about money and wants to go into the Peace Corps. Pam asks me to cook Trevor lunch and I say, “No, Trevor is in college and old enough to do it himself.” Lois ends up cooking lunch for him. I am thinking that maybe Pam has partiality for Trevor because he was her first born and Gary preferred daughters.

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  APRIL 6, 2007: GOOD FRIDAY, STING RAY CITY

  Captain Marvel takes us on his tour boat to Sting Ray City. The first snorkel place is called Coral Property. All tropical fish except angels were represented there. I was so overcome by seeing this healthy reef that I started crying in my mask. This fantastic wonderland of soft corals and hard corals and fish shimmering was like fairyland to me.

  Our final place was the sand bar where the stingrays cruise in to get fed. Our boat guys jumped in and began to play with these Southern Atlantic stingrays. They are wild animals that are free to come and go -- no pens. We were given cut up bits of squid and taught how to hold it as the suction of the rays was super powerful. A large ray swept over me and sucked my fingers and left my finger bruised with a hickey. Their eyes sit on top of their head and are like cat eyes. They feel like satin and this entire encounter was otherworldly. Lois and Trevor held them ever so gently. In
the beginning they were afraid but not as afraid as Pam who refused to touch them. I notice she is no longer my little daredevil. My heart is bursting tonight from being filled with the utter enchantment under the sea.

  Ironically afterward, we went to a Sushi restaurant.

  Stingray City, Cayman

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  APRIL 7, 2007: TRIP TO HELL

  It is hot and we are going to Hell. Hell is a town of 60 people, a few lizards and is made of black limestone formations that could rip your skin to shreds. It has a corny gift shop called The Devil’s Hangout that sells items like tee shirts that say, “I’ve been to Hell and Back” and a Hell Sauce and of course, I mailed my kids postcards from HELL.

  You can go to a church in town where they sport a radio station called HEAVEN. Nearby there is a turtle farm where one can learn about turtles of the sea.

  Pam and Royal go to Hell

  _____

  APRIL 8, 2007

  I suggest that we go to high tea at the Ritz Carleton for our Easter celebration. I make Easter baskets for the kids and for Pam.

  They seem to like their chocolate bunnies and eggs. Not so sure about their satin bunny ears. We loved the sumptuous tea cakes and sandwiches. I explained the different teas to them. I loved my tea and we enjoyed this repast. Lois and Pam looked beautiful in blue feminine dresses. I appreciated the simple and tropical ikebana arrangements through out the hotel. I am learning this Japanese art in North Carolina. Later Lois and I fall asleep. She has a migraine. Pam and Trevor have gone out drinking and dancing. I hope he can get up tomorrow morning early to catch his plane.

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  APRIL 9, 2007

  Trevor almost missed his plane. Pam is getting a bad cold now. I swim once more in the ocean I adore and say goodbye to the fish. Pam, Lois and I fly to Denver via Miami. Pam is miserable on the plane. She tells me that someone wants to buy her life’s story and she is thinking of selling it. I am hurt by this announcement and remind her that I am the writer in the family, having been published etc. Who knows her better than I do? But Pam wants to get paid. She has already sold the half million-dollar engagement ring from Tom.

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  APRIL 10, 2007

  We have breakfast with the Denver Lawyer and an investigator. We say goodbye and go our separate ways. She returns to Aspen and I fly to North Carolina. As I wait for my plane, I review the very personal three questions I had asked Pam. The ones I absolutely knew the truthful answers to. The ones she so vehemently denied. She failed my test!

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  AUGUST 31, 2008

  I see in the Aspen paper that Pam has now been arrested for Driving Under the Influence of Drugs or Alcohol and for improperly backing up. This does not surprise me as I have worried about her drinking and drug use for many years. Alcoholism is a very strong disease in our family. It seems things are really heating up for her.

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  SEPTEMBER 26, 2008

  Pam calls me from the plane. She says, “Here I go again.” I ask her where she is going. She tells me she is going to see Lois who is in Switzerland attending school. We have a very long talk. I don’t mention the fact that she has been arrested in Aspen for a DUI and she says nothing about it. However, she praises me for being one of the only people she knows that has stayed sober and clean for most of my life. She reports that most of her friends have gone to rehabs. She asks how I am doing with my weight issue? She tells me that she can go five days without eating. I do not remind her of her smoking, coffee and then alcohol.

  She claims I have been like a mother to her. I reply that I hope I didn’t do anything to be a bad influence.

  I sensed we were saying goodbye in a big way underneath this conversation. Pam had never spoken about being on the lam or running but after she left the country, I wondered if I would hear from her again.

  I wrote to her lawyer in Denver who was supposed to be my contact. It looks like I will never know if she gets any of my letters.

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  OCTOBER 17, 2008

  I see in the news that Ronald Young has been arrested in Yorba Linda, California. He is wanted on charges of conspiracy to commit first-degree murder and for first-degree murder in the case of the Gary Triano death. This is the same Ronald Young who was one of Pam’s lovers, the same man that did Pam’s books in Aspen and stole from her in 1996 and who kept an entire storage shed filled with documents and information on her.

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  OCTOBER 18, 2008

  Pam is indicted on two charges of conspiracy to commit first-degree murder and for first-degree murder. However, Pam has already left the country.

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  APRIL 13, 2009: LETTER TO PAM, WHO KNOWS WHERE?

  Dear Pam:

  Tomorrow is your birthday. I don’t know if you’ll get this letter but I am going to attempt to send it to you via Joe in Denver.

  First I wish you a happy birthday where ever you may be. I remember seeing you the day you were born in Missouri. It is with each day that I think of you. I am writing this donned in the soft white robe you sent to me the Xmas that I was totally alone. And when the wind blows, which is often, the chimes outside my bedroom play my own special tune that you had made for me. Then it is time for the scrub down in the sauna and there is the special brush you sent to me. I could go on and on here. You are all over the place.

  And I often am sad in my heart by your circumstances. I include you in my prayers and wonder about you each day. Todd’s wife said they heard from you a few times. It is good to know you are okay. I phoned your kids as you suggested but their phones are not the same numbers.

  I just returned from a magical trip to Turkey with Randy and the elder grands. The last time I was there was with a friend. Before that, with Mutzie, when she arrived drunk and they refused her admittance into the country. This trip was fun and flawless and we learned so much. Very good memories for all.

  Before I left, Merv and Merce came to visit. It actually was a sweet visit. Maybe all my studying and therapy work is paying off? Or maybe we are all getting old and more mellow.

  I continue to be grateful even though the $$ is half of what I once had. Sad economic times in America.

  Happy Birthday, again. Know that you are thought of and being held in prayers. A big kiss for Lois.

  Love,

  Royal

  PS. I finished my first poetry book. It is on Amazon.com

  _____

  JULY 27, 2009

  I am down in my office cave working on my poetry book when my good friend Anna calls me and says, “I think your niece is on TV. Hurry…it is Dateline NBC.” I run upstairs and switch on the TV. There you are on the arm of some older man. Apparently there is a hidden camera in the restaurant. This is the first time that I have seen you since we were together in the Cayman Islands in spring of 2007. It brings tears to my eyes. The show is called STARCROSSED or something like that. They are using your STARBABIES platform as the theme. It is super strange to see an actress playing YOU. She is not as pretty as you really are. I know you wouldn’t like that. The actor playing Gary is more handsome than he was. At least I see you are alive and well and dating someone. They show your apartment and how expensive it is and how you are living high.

  If you are wanted by Interpol, I wonder how you can be filmed and featured and not captured. It is truly surreal to see you on DATELINE NBC. I wish you had let me know you were alive and okay all these years.

  _____

  JANUARY 10, 2010

  Paige calls to alert me to THE NATIONAL INQUIRER. Seems you made in to that garish newspaper. Paige was sitting and waiting in an office when she picked up a copy and found you in a two-page spread. They refer to you as THE BLONDE BOMB SHELL. It is still unreal to see your image in regard to murder.

  _____

  JUNE 18, 2010

  My sorority sister writes that you will be extradited on July 3, 2010. I can hardly believe that you are coming back to the United States and to Tucson (which you’ve
told me you hate). I will most likely see some news about it. I am sure all the Triano’s will be at the airport after winning their 10 million dollar wrongful death case in 2009 while you were a fugitive.

  _____

  JUNE 26, 2010

  Lucky for me AND you, I just happen to have a faithful sorority sister living in Austria. She called me asking if the blond Pamela Phillips on the European television news (Österreichischer Rundfunk, ORF) was you. The one being arrested for money laundering? She has been to family gatherings with us all and has met you. We have remained close since our university days at UNM.

  She offered to go through the complicated prison process of going to see you there. Bless her!

  She writes to me about seeing you. I am happy to get news. It has been years since I heard from you. She is also going to bring you a Bible and other reading material. Maybe you’ll find Jesus in jail like your big brother, Putzie.

  I sent you a birthday card and letters to the Austrian jail but they are all returned to me. I have given up on your lawyer Joe in Denver. I am wondering when they will extradite you back to the United States. I am perplexed as to why you stayed in Europe.

  Some of your family think you should have dyed your hair black and popped in brown contact lenses and headed to South America. But then, I am perplexed by many things. I put you into my special prayers for this next melodrama. You seem to have become anti-American. The Austrian Newspapers are so unkind about you. I think Europe loves to put down the potential American blonde murderer. They call you a black widow spider and other names. They must have a different journalistic code. There would be lawsuits left and right here. But, oh, yes, I forgot about the rag magazines that print untruths about the stars.

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