Dr. Carlisle's Child

by Carol Marinelli

  ‘I’ll put a chest tube in. Here are the films now.’

  The films confirmed her suspicions—a massive haemopneumothorax.

  It took Lucinda only seconds to insert the chest tube. There was no time for local anaesthetic and no need as the patient was deeply unconscious. Fresh blood poured down the tube.

  They all worked together, each with his or her own skills and specialities but united in their efforts to save this young life. ‘I’d like him up in Theatre as soon as possible,’ Lucinda said, examining the films more closely.

  ‘Sure,’ the accident and emergency consultant said. ‘The surgeons are happy with his abdomen, but his pelvis is shattered. Neuro want a quick CAT scan before he goes up. Is that all right?’

  Lucinda nodded. ‘I’ll go ahead and scrub.’

  She raced ahead up to the theatres where the staff were already setting up.

  Once her hands were scrubbed the theatre sister helped her into a gown. ‘He’s on his way up, no name as yet. Apparently he’s got a large subdural haematoma—he just blew a pupil.’

  ‘What a mess.’ But there was no time to dwell on it. Seconds later the young boy was wheeled in and together they continued their efforts to save him. The neurosurgeons performed an urgent craniotomy to evacuate the blood clot that was pressing on his brain. Lucinda performed a thoracotomy and repaired a large laceration on his pulmonary vein. Seb monitored his vital signs closely, relaying his messages clearly to the theatre nurses and surgeons, yet he still managed to find the time to talk soothingly to his patient.

  Finally the mammoth operation was over and wearily Lucinda made her way to the recovery area, where Seb was still with the patient before his transfer to PICU.

  ‘Have we got a name yet?’ she asked the nurse.

  ‘Humpty Dumpty for now, but the police are apparently coming up. They’ve got some details.’

  ‘All right. When they get hold of the parents, page me. I’m going to have a quick shower.’

  Aiming the hot water onto her neck, Lucinda felt the tension in her shoulders start to melt.

  Stupid kid, she thought, but not unkindly. She tried to put aside the image of the police knocking on his parents’ door on Christmas Eve of all nights. Replacing the soap, she closed her eyes as she thought of the other boy, the one that hadn’t even made it to casualty. Wrapping a towel around her, she stepped out of the shower, to find Seb standing there. The showers were unisex but she couldn’t help feeling embarrassed to see him, yet one look at his angst-ridden face and she knew the sight of her half-naked was the furthermost thing from his mind.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ she asked, feeling the hairs stand up on the back of her neck. ‘It’s not Billy?’ she begged.

  Seb shook his head slowly. ‘No, it’s not Billy, thank God. Lucinda, that boy we just operated on—his name is Jake. Jake Benton. He’s Ann’s son.’

  Lucinda’s hands flew to her face and she covered her eyes. This was the worst nightmare for all hospital personnel—that it might be a member of your family wheeled in. For Lucinda, having her family in Queensland had allayed that fear, but she had felt a stab of it that day when Billy had been readmitted and he wasn’t even her son. How on earth would Ann be feeling?

  ‘No, oh, no. Poor Ann. Does she know?’ The towel she had wrapped around her started to slip and Seb gently pulled it tight, covering her. She was vaguely aware of feeling grateful to him for protecting her dignity. He steered her to the little wooden bench where she shakingly sat down.

  ‘Not yet. She’s still on the ward. We only just found out. I’m going to go across now. I thought I’d better warn you.’

  Lucinda gulped. ‘She had a sort of premonition something was wrong. I just assumed it was one of the patients. I never dreamt…’

  ‘How could you have?’ he said gently.

  Lucinda took a deep breath. ‘I’ll come with you. You don’t want to do that on your own.’

  Seb looked into her eyes. ‘Are you sure? It’s not going to be very pleasant.’

  Lucinda stared back. She longed to rest her head on his chest, longed for him to put his arms around her, but instead she nodded simply. ‘Ann’s my friend. I should be there for her. She’d do the same for me.’

  Seb stood up and, opening the linen cupboard, pulled out a pair of theatre greens and politely turned his back. ‘Get dressed quickly, then. You know how gossip spreads. I don’t want her finding out by accident.’

  They made their way across the hospital to CGU, Lucinda with her hair dripping down her back. There was no small talk, no planned speeches. They arrived on the ward and with relief saw that Ann was alone in her office.

  She smiled when she saw them together, a questioning look crossing her face. Lucinda guessed she must be assuming they were finally together. But when she saw their worried faces, her smile faded.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ The air hung heavy and Seb cleared his throat.

  ‘There’s no easy way to say this, Ann, but I’ve got some bad news for you.’

  Ann stood there, her face paling as she prepared herself for the news.

  Seb continued gently. ‘Jake has been involved in a motor vehicle accident.’

  ‘Is he…?’

  ‘He’s not dead, Ann, but he’s been very badly hurt.’

  ‘How badly?’ Gently Seb sat her down and, dragging another chair over, sat directly opposite her, taking both her hands in his.

  ‘He was brought in a couple of hours ago. We only just found out it was your son.’

  ‘Seb, tell me what his injuries are.’

  He nodded and in the gentlest way possible he went through Jake’s horrific injuries. Afterwards he sat there silently, letting the news sink in—not moving, just tenderly holding Ann’s hands.

  Finally Ann spoke. ‘I have to see him.’

  ‘We’ll take you there now. The police have gone over to tell Tod.’

  She stood up and smoothed her dress, but as she started to walk her legs gave way and Lucinda dashed to help her. ‘It’s all right, Ann. You lean on us we’ll take you to Jake now.’

  ‘The ward,’ Ann said vaguely.

  ‘The ward will be fine.’ They all looked up as Heather Gibbs, the nurse co-ordinator, arrived, her face a picture of concern. ‘You go and see your son.’

  They walked with Ann to the theatre recovery area. Normally relatives weren’t allowed in there when patients were so critical, but in this case no one was going to make a fuss.

  Seb took control and managed to say all the right things, and Lucinda realised he could empathise to some extent with what Ann was feeling for he, too, had stood there, looking at his own son. Lucinda busied herself, checking the monitors and drug sheets and IV orders.

  ‘We’re going to transfer him over to PICU now,’ the theatre sister said, and Ann nodded.

  ‘I’ll go and see if Tod’s here.’ She bent and gave Jake a gentle kiss on his cheek.

  ‘Hang in there, Jake,’ she said through her tears, and looked over to where Seb and Lucinda stood. ‘I’m glad you two were on tonight. How long are you on, Seb?’

  ‘All night.’

  Ann gave a worried look. ‘But you’re not supposed to be. I’ve seen the roster. What about Billy?’

  ‘Ann, Billy’s with Gemma, and I’m only doing what you did for me. I couldn’t be anywhere else.’ He gave her a brief hug. ‘Now, you go with Lucinda and find Tod. I’ll stay with Jake. I promise I won’t leave his side. We’re going to get you through this, Ann. Stop worrying about everybody else.’

  As a doctor, once Theatre was over there wasn’t much more Lucinda could do for the time being, but as a friend there was plenty. Seb, as good as his word, parked himself on a stool by Jake’s bedside and stayed there all night while Lucinda helped Ann. Dialling phone numbers when her hand was shaking too much, fetching her coffee, and Panadol when she developed the most awful migraine. Taking her husband Tod out onto the roof for a cigarette when it all became too much. And somehow together they made
it through the endless night.

  ‘Thought you could use this.’ Lucinda stirred from a light doze.

  Seb handed her a steaming cup and Lucinda took a grateful sip.

  ‘Yum. Where did you get a cappuccino on Christmas morning? Is the canteen having a party?’

  ‘I bunged one of the orderlies a few dollars and he headed over to Southbank. A lot of the restaurants are doing Christmas lunch so they’re open.’

  ‘You should have bunged him a bit more and got some muffins,’ Lucinda said in a grumbling voice, but Seb knew she was only joking.

  ‘Lucindah, have you any idea the damage a single muffin can do to your thighs?’

  It was a perfect impersonation of her mother and Lucinda managed a smile. ‘How’s Jake? Any change?’

  Seb shrugged. ‘No change, but I guess no news is good news at the moment. We’re just going to have to play the waiting game. Are you going to go home and have a rest? You look exhausted, Lucinda.’ He sounded concerned.

  ‘I’ll stay. I can always go to one of the on-call rooms if I’m getting in the way.’

  ‘That’s the last thing you’re doing. You’ve been a great help to Ann. You two are really close, aren’t you?’

  ‘She’s hard not to like.’

  He picked up the cardboard tray with the coffees. ‘I guess it’s not really appropriate to say merry Christmas, given the circumstances, but you know what I mean.’

  ‘I know,’ she said softly. ‘But it is a time for miracles.’

  ‘Let’s hope so,’ Seb said solemnly, and made his way back onto PICU.

  She sat there awhile, drinking her coffee, and though her thoughts were with Ann her mind drifted to Seb. His had been the first face she had woken up to on Christmas morning and the only face she ever wanted to wake up to, but their time had been and gone. It might be a time for miracles, she thought sadly, but it would be selfish to wish for two, and of them both, Jake was probably the safer bet.

  CHAPTER TEN

  DESPITE the sweltering weather, it was the bleakest of Christmases. Lucinda duly rang home and tried but failed miserably to inject any enthusiasm into her voice. Not that Abigail appeared to notice.

  ‘Guess what your father got me for Christmas?’

  ‘I have no idea.’

  ‘No, go on, try and guess.’

  ‘Just tell me, Mum,’ Lucinda said wearily, her mind on far more important things.

  ‘Spoilsport. Well, you’d never have guessed anyway. We’re going skiing in Europe—doesn’t that sound so-o glamorous? It was a huge surprise. Your father got our secretary involved and together they’ve rigged it so we’ve got a full three weeks off. I can’t wait.’

  ‘You’re going skiing? Mum, you’ve never even seen snow.’

  ‘Goodness, no, Lucinda. I may be going skiing but I certainly won’t be doing any, perish the thought. Could you imagine the havoc a fall could wreak at my age? Not that I look it, of course. I went for a check-up last month and my darling GP said I had the body of a thirty-year-old.’

  ‘Which one?’ Lucinda tried to joke, but her mother wasn’t listening.

  ‘Anyway, apparently the après-ski is simply très bien, so France, here I come.’

  Lucinda managed a laugh. ‘No doubt your winter wardrobe will cost more than the plane tickets.’

  ‘Of course, darling, you have to look the part. Lucinda, you are all right, aren’t you?’ her mother asked suddenly. ‘You’re not feeling homesick or anything?’

  Lucinda paused, momentarily stunned that her mother had even noticed. ‘I’m fine, Mum. We had some bad news at the hospital overnight.’

  Abigail seemed to accept her explanation. ‘Oh, dear. I was actually just thinking this morning, do you realise this is the first Christmas that we haven’t seen each other? Not that we’re a turkey-and-singing-round-the-tree-type family, but we’ve always managed at least a glass of champers together. I suppose you were too busy to notice. It was just a thought, that’s all.’

  Lucinda found herself smiling into the telephone. ‘I was actually thinking just the same thing.’

  After hanging up, she sat for a few moments, just staring at the telephone. It took a few seconds to register that Seb had come into the room.

  ‘Are you all right?’

  Lucinda looked up. ‘I was just talking to my mum. Funny, she actually sounded as if she was missing me. I must be going soft or something. I’m actually missing them.’

  Seb smiled. ‘That’s what families do to you. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. I just spoke to Billy.’

  ‘How is he? Did you manage to get a word in?’

  Seb gave a small shrug ‘He told me everything Santa had bought him and all that, but he was a bit teary.’

  ‘Is it your first Christmas apart?’

  Seb gave a small nod. ‘I’m normally on call more often than not, but it’s very different to being thousands of kilometres away. Not that the last few years have been particularly joyous occasions, but we at least managed to put on a united front for Billy’s sake.’

  She ventured a little further, she simply had to know more. ‘How are things going now with Billy and Gemma?’

  ‘Good, touch wood.’ He reached over to the small coffee-table. ‘Now she doesn’t have the daily grind, as she called it, she actually seems to be enjoying motherhood—in small portions, mind. She’ll soon have had enough but at least this way Billy feels like he’s got a mum who cares, even if it is only in short bursts.’

  Lucinda stood up. She had wanted to know but it simply hurt too much. ‘I’m going to have a shower.’

  ‘Lucinda?’

  She turned.

  ‘I couldn’t help but notice yesterday when I came and got you from the theatre showers.’ Lucinda held her breath. Surely he hadn’t noticed anything. But she had to think on her feet when Seb continued, ‘You were wearing the robot Billy bought you on your necklace.’ Seb’s eyes searched her face for a reaction and Lucinda opened her eyes wide, feigning surprise.

  ‘Was I really?’ She pulled her chain out from inside her theatre top. ‘So I am. I must have forgotten to take it off after he gave it to me.’

  ‘It’ll turn your chest green.’

  As she walked to the showers she let out a sigh. That had been a bit too close. What would Seb have said if he’d known the truth? That she’d actually gone to a jewellers and had had the tiny little robot heavily gold plated the same day Billy had given it to her, after it had indeed left a large dirty green streak in her cleavage. Lucinda had probably spent a hundred times its original price but it had been worth every last cent. Somehow, wearing it, she felt closer to them both. Silly maybe, but who ever said love was sensible?

  After her shower she made her way back to PICU, just in time to see Ann coming out. ‘I was just coming to see you. How’s things?’

  Ann looked grey. Her uniform had been replaced by some theatre greens and her eyes were swollen and puffy.

  ‘No change,’ she said wearily. ‘Tod wants me to go and lie down but I don’t want to leave Jake.’

  ‘I know you don’t,’ Lucinda said sympathetically. ‘But Tod’s right. You haven’t slept in over twenty-four hours, Ann. You have to get some rest.’

  ‘I couldn’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes I see his face…’ Her voice was rising and Lucinda could hear the note of hysteria creeping in.

  ‘I’ll get you something to help you sleep.’

  ‘I don’t want to be knocked out. What if I don’t hear? What if there’s any change?’

  ‘Ann.’ Lucinda’s voice was firm without being unkind. ‘I’m not going to give you a general anaesthetic, just 10 mg of temazepam. It’s only light, it will just help you to rest. Now, Jake’s going to need you to be strong—Tod, too. We can’t have you fainting all over the place. What help will that be to Jake?’

  Ann seemed to accept this and Lucinda led her to one of the on-call rooms where Ann, calmer now, lay on the bed.

  ‘Ju
st wait here. I’ll be back in five.’

  She walked to CGU where Ellen was on the telephone. Hastily she finished her call. ‘What can I do for you, Miss Chambers?’

  ‘Can you give me 10 mg of temazepam? Ann needs to sleep. I’ll sign for it.’

  Ellen got her keys out of her pocket and opened the drug cupboard.

  ‘There you go. Tell her that we’re all thinking of her. If there’s anything we can do, you will let us know?’

  Lucinda nodded as she signed the drug book. ‘At this stage all we can do is wait and hope, but thanks for this. If she can get a couple of hours rest it will be a big help.’

  Lucinda filled a polystyrene cup from the sink and Ann swallowed the pill meekly.

  ‘Now, once you’re resting I’ll go and tell the PICU staff and Tod what room you’re in. Of course they’ll come and get you if anything changes, but Jake’s stable at the moment, Ann. Tomorrow or the day after, when they extubate him, we’ll know a lot more. You need to keep your strength up for then. Now, close your eyes.’

  But she didn’t. She lay there and with brimming eyes stared directly at Lucinda. ‘One minute they’re babies and the next… I don’t know where the time goes. Before you know it they’re teenagers and they think they’re invincible. I know he did the wrong thing but he’s still my baby. He didn’t deserve this. What if it had been Jake that died? I don’t think I could have gone on.’

  ‘Shh,’ Lucinda soothed. ‘It wasn’t Jake. You just have to be grateful for that.’

  The pill was starting to take effect and Ann’s eyes grew heavy. ‘Don’t let Seb go without knowing, Lucinda. Your babies deserve a father. I couldn’t do this without Tod. You’d be so good together, I just know.’

  Lucinda sat there with tears rolling down her cheeks but Ann was too out of it to notice. ‘Don’t worry about that now, Ann,’ she said in a shaking voice. ‘You sleep now.’

  Finally Ann drifted off and Lucinda sat there until she was sure Ann wasn’t about to wake up. Tiptoeing out of the room, she gently closed the door and made her way over to PICU. Seb was checking Jake’s pupil reaction. Tod was holding his son’s hand. Carols were belting merrily from the radio, but not loud enough to drown the hiss of the ventilators and the bleeping of the monitors. ‘Joy To The World’.