Ultraxenopia (Project W. A. R. Book 1)

by M. A. Phipps

  Settling in . . . ? As in making myself at home? This is the second time I’ve heard that sort of comment now, but I find it difficult to imagine being able to do so. Home is where you’re most comfortable. Home is where you’re accepted.

  Now that I think about it, I don’t suppose I’ve ever truly had that. I doubt anyone in our world has.

  I shake my head. “They’re going to find out eventually,” I murmur. “You can’t hide the truth from them forever.”

  He stares back at me, considering my words. After a long moment, he releases a deep breath. “You’re right,” he finally answers. “Maybe we shouldn’t then.”

  My stomach clenches in response to his cryptic words. “What do you mean?” I ask warily.

  “I don’t think anyone needs to know why the State’s after you. They just need to know that you’re in a similar position to them, and you need our help just as much as they do. They need to see that you’re one of us.”

  A smile breaks out across his face as he rises from the bed, turning toward me in one hasty movement. Bending down, he offers me his hand.

  “Come on,” he says. “I have an idea.”

  I hesitate, unnerved by his expression. Eventually, though, I give into it, telling myself to have faith in him—to have faith in the obscure connection that awaits us in the future.

  Slipping my hand into his, I allow him to pull me to my feet. I’m not sure what’s running through his head, and truthfully, I’m somewhat frightened by that realization. But at this moment . . . at least for right now . . .

  I have no choice but to trust him.

  I WATCH EZRA CAREFULLY, MY eyes following his every movement. His stride is confident, which I find reassuring, even if I have my doubts about what he’s planning to do.

  “Are you sure about this?” I ask him. The uneasiness I feel is obvious in my trembling voice, but in spite of my hesitation, he remains unwavering.

  “As sure as I’ll ever be,” he answers.

  Neither one of us say anything more.

  I follow him through the expansive corridors of the compound as we retrace the familiar path Jenner took me on earlier. The fluorescent lights overhead cast a blinding glow around us, seemingly trapping me on this path.

  There’s no going back.

  I can only move forward.

  I’m not exactly afraid. I’m more . . . unsure . . . I guess. It’s comforting to know I have Ezra on my side. However, I can’t contain the doubt that questions his influence. He might believe me, but where will the others stand? Will they follow him blindly? Or will they turn against him as well when faced with the danger I ultimately present to them?

  We soon find ourselves back in that large central area. The room seems empty compared to how full it was earlier, but Rai and Jenner are here, and I know without asking that’s who we’re looking for.

  Jenner’s gaze fixes on Ezra before flicking uncertainly toward me. Rai turns around when she notices his expression, and I can see her eyes change, even from where we’re standing across the room.

  She immediately walks toward us with a sense of urgency in her every step.

  “Gather everyone together,” Ezra says when she’s beside us. “I have an announcement to make.”

  She hurries off without speaking a single word, once again leaving us alone. Ezra repositions himself so that he’s standing in front of me.

  “Wait here,” he murmurs.

  I nod. His tone is serious—grave even—and because of that, I do what he asks without question.

  My eyes follow his back as he rushes away from me. I shift uncomfortably on my feet, feeling the penetrating stares of the few people in the room. Eventually, I lower my head, unable to bear their distrusting gazes any longer.

  After a few moments, the dull thud of footsteps enters my ears—the sound growing louder with each passing second. I glance up, surprised to see Jenner less than two feet away from me. He looks embarrassed or maybe even ashamed. I can’t quite tell which.

  “Hey,” he says awkwardly.

  A small smile pulls at my lips as I incline my head.

  He clasps his hands together, his mouth parting to speak, but the only sound to come out is a tiny nervous croak. He clears his throat before trying again.

  “I’m sorry if it sounded like I was calling you a liar before,” he mutters. He then pauses, contemplating his next words. “I do trust you,” he whispers. “It’s just . . . I’ve been friends with them for so long, I didn’t think there were any secrets between us. Makes me feel out of the loop, you know?”

  “You didn’t offend me,” I assure him. “I didn’t believe any of it at first either.”

  He peeks up at me, and I can see the hint of a question deep within his gaze. He doesn’t say anything at first, clearly unsure whether or not he should ask it.

  “This gift of yours . . .” he finally manages. “Is it always like that?”

  I think back to the crippling episodes that go hand in hand with each vision. I recall the pain . . . no . . . the agony. The way the images seem to slice into my brain, paralyzing me all for the sake of showing me the future.

  Is it always like that, he wonders?

  “For the most part, yeah,” I answer.

  He gapes at me in shock but tries to hide his horror, making a tremendous effort not to appear disturbed by what I’ve said. I know he’s only doing it for my sake—attempting to lighten the situation to make me feel better. To make what’s happening to me seem less serious than it actually is.

  “That must suck,” he says as casually as possible.

  I grin at him, thankful for sparing me his true reaction. “Yeah, it does,” I reply with a laugh.

  He suddenly glances past me, distracted by something. I turn to follow his gaze to see Rai re-entering the room, accompanied by a small group of people. Ezra arrives shortly after, bringing the remainder.

  The residents of the compound gather in the middle of the room, each looking as bewildered as the next and curious as to why they’ve all been called here so abruptly. A low murmur of confusion carries through the crowd.

  Ezra returns to my side, holding an empty wooden crate. He throws it on the floor in front of me before stepping up onto it, facing the many perplexed faces staring back at us.

  I feel uneasy beneath their gazes, even with Ezra beside me. Perhaps even more so because of that very fact.

  With a loud cough, he clears his throat to catch the group’s attention. All at once, the murmur dies down.

  “I’ve gathered everyone together for one purpose. To tell you that the woman beside me is not a threat. I know you’re all wondering who she is, and even more so, why she’s here. So, let me put the rumors to rest. She came to us because she needs our help, and it’s our responsibility to protect her now that she’s with us.”

  I stare up at him in awe, amazed by the gentle yet commanding tone of his voice. However, I seem to be the only one under his spell. His charisma is proving somewhat ineffective on the others. Either that, or maybe they’re simply used to it to the point where it’s lost its power.

  “Protect her from what?” one man yells out.

  “I don’t want to lie to you, and I think you all deserve to know the truth.” He waits for a moment, gauging the crowd’s impending reaction before continuing. “She’s on the run from the DSD,” he answers.

  An unsettled murmur once again arises throughout the group, washing over the room like a turbulent wave. It grows louder as the panic begins to consume them.

  “We’ll be found!” one woman screams.

  “They’ll kill us!” cries another.

  Between the countless outbursts, I catch the various expressions of fear and disdain, all directed solely at me. No one blames Ezra for defending me. His noble behavior is apparently to be expected. Instead, they all focus their hatred on my very existence. On the one person they consider a threat to their way of life.

  The distrust that I sensed from these people before is
multiplied now that they know why I’m here. I get the sudden feeling that things are about to turn hostile.

  Rai, seeming to sense this as well, puts herself between me and those at the front of the group. “They can’t track her,” she cuts in. Her voice is tinged with the same uneasiness currently building in the pit of my stomach. “She cut out her ID chip before she even came to us in the first place.”

  The people remain unconvinced.

  The voices in the room become steadily louder, rising alongside everyone’s increasing hysteria.

  I glance up at Ezra, but his expression is unreadable. His eyebrows are drawn tightly together, and his gaze is hard as he stares out over the restless crowd. As usual, I have no way of knowing what’s running through his head. For some reason, something seems to tell me that I might not want to.

  “Listen to me!” he shouts suddenly.

  The noise in the room gradually ceases as every set of eyes focuses back on him. I watch him as well, eagerly awaiting his next words, despite my growing apprehension.

  “The DSD wants her for a reason,” he says. “We’re in a position of power if we have what they want.”

  My heart begins to pound and any lingering doubts I have flare up in the back of my head. I knew before I even came here that these people might not accept me, just like I knew that I was walking into the middle of a decades—if not centuries—long war. But after everything I’ve been told, after everything Jenner and Rai said about being the good guys, is this really what it’s come to? Is this why Ezra’s taking my side, even after everything he told me before?

  When all is said and done, am I really only a pawn to him?

  I’m reminded of the last thing Dr. Richter said to me, just before I managed to escape the DSD.

  “You can’t trust him. You can’t trust him!”

  Trust. Who is he to talk about trust?

  Still, I can’t deny that a part of me wonders if he’s right.

  Can I trust Ezra Laramie?

  “So, she’s a tool against the enemy?” one person asks, mimicking my exact thoughts. “We can use her against them!”

  This idea spreads through the group, and I can see each of them embracing it in the way they look back at me. My heart beats faster, clenching painfully in my chest.

  My feet falter beneath me as I take a step back.

  Maybe I made a mistake coming here, after all, I realize.

  Ezra’s voice thunders through the room, silencing everyone and freezing me in place.

  “That’s not what I meant!” he yells.

  Hesitantly, I peer up at him. I’m surprised to find his hazel eyes staring down at me. It’s as if we’re the only two people in the room, and his words are meant for me, and only me.

  “We aren’t like them,” he murmurs. “Besides, they won’t move against us as long as she’s here because, for whatever reason, they want her alive. Do you honestly think the same can be said if anything were to happen to her?”

  He pauses for a moment, running his hand across the back of his neck. Something I’ve noticed he only does when he’s uncomfortable or nervous.

  “Listen,” he breathes. “Her name is Wynter. She’s only twenty-one years old, damn it. She’s lost as much as anyone else here, and she has nowhere to go. We aren’t going to use her against anyone. And I’m certainly not going to abandon her when she needs us most.”

  There’s a promise there, behind those words. And even though I barely know him, even though I’ve only just arrived here, something tells me I can trust what he’s said.

  Something tells me I can trust him.

  “What do you intend to do?”

  My eyes scan the crowd until they eventually land on the person who spoke. I see the middle-aged man from before—the one whose birthday was being celebrated in this very room.

  Unlike everyone else, he seems perfectly calm about the situation.

  I feel a spark of curiosity the longer I look at him. Although he’s taking orders from someone younger, I get the distinct impression that his position here matters more. It's obvious by how everyone looks at him that his opinion holds weight—even more so than Ezra’s. If he approves of something, the others are sure to follow.

  “Honestly, I don’t know,” Ezra answers. “But I believe her arrival here will change the tide in this war. It will be the turning point we’ve all been waiting for.”

  The man says nothing more, and another unsettled murmur progresses through the room. Some people voice their uncertainty, while others seem frightened more than anything else. But really, who can blame them? Their very way of life is being threatened. A way of life they’ve probably grown accustomed to over the many years they’ve been in hiding. If everything changes, if my presence here really does cause the tide to shift, then they have reason to be afraid.

  Something will inevitably end. Whether it’s their sense of comfort and the home they’ve built for themselves, or their lives.

  “Why are any of you here?” Ezra asks them. “Because, for one reason or other, you needed help. Everyone here joined up for a reason. Perhaps it was the death of a loved one, or maybe you were simply fed up with the unjust nature of our society. Either way, you wanted a way out, and we gave you one. It’s no different for her.”

  I can feel his eyes upon me like a raging inferno against my skin. They seem to burn into me, and I glance up in response, fearlessly meeting the flames head on. I can feel everyone else in the room look at me as well, but I’m too embarrassed to meet their gazes and see the rejection that I’m afraid I’ll find there.

  “She’s one of us now,” Ezra says firmly. His tone leaves zero room for argument.

  He turns his eyes back to the group, and I realize why everyone here looks up to him. It seemed a bit odd to me that he would be in charge, since there are multiple people here considerably older and more experienced. But now, seeing the determination in his gaze, it’s no wonder they follow him.

  “This battle can’t go on forever. It has to end eventually. Aren’t you all tired of running? Tired of hiding?” he continues. “I know what I’ve said frightens you. I know you’re afraid of change. But we all joined up for one reason. To fight back. And we’ll protect anyone who shares in that mission, especially if the State intends to use them for personal gain. Things will end. Things will get better. But only if we stick together.”

  Silence descends over the crowd. I swallow, my eyes darting between the faces of the people before me and noticing the one expression they all seem to share. I can tell by the way they look back at us that, despite everything, Ezra has somehow managed to get through to them. He’s reminded them why they’re here. He’s reminded them of their mutual purpose.

  The reality is that they aren’t simply refugees or fugitives running from the State.

  They’re advocates for change.

  My eyes assess the group, soon landing back on that middle-aged man. His face is drawn, his expression unreadable. For many long moments, he doesn’t even move. But then, he slowly nods his head.

  I take a deep breath, the air hitching in my chest, and I glance up at Ezra, wondering what it means.

  He jumps down from the crate so that he’s standing beside me, and I notice the corners of his lips pull up into the smallest trace of a smile. He looks down at me but says nothing.

  One by one, the people gathered in the room begin to move toward me. Some pat me on the shoulder while others only nod their heads in acknowledgment. Others go even further, verbally welcoming me into their midst. It’s overwhelming and unusual, not least of all because of their previous distrust of me.

  It’s the way they act more than anything else that astounds me. This sort of behavior doesn’t exist in the outside world. No one is welcoming. No one really gets close to each other, physically or otherwise—not even in families, except for reproductive purposes. If they do, it’s rare, and I’ve certainly never seen it.

  Everyone keeps to themselves. Everyone maintains their
distance.

  Don’t stand out. Blend in. Remain invisible. Those are the rules we always lived by.

  Rules that don’t seem to exist here.

  I suppose, in many ways, the world I’m used to is a lonely one. Maybe that’s why, despite the fact that I barely know these people, the idea of staying here is appealing.

  How could I possibly wish to leave now that I’m surrounded by the very thing I’m beginning to realize I’ve always wanted? It might be fleeting. It might not last. But in spite of that, I’ve felt more in this past week than I’ve been allowed to feel in my entire life. That alone, makes this worth it.

  It’s as if a part of me is waking up. The part that was forced into submission by the State. The part that was forced to follow a strict set of rules.

  To blend in.

  It’s a good ten minutes or so before the room is relatively empty. Through it all, Ezra never once leaves my side.

  Jenner and Rai wait in the background until the remainder of the group has left, and aside from a few lingerers, we’re the only people in the room. As soon as we’re alone again, they congregate around us.

  “Nice speech, chief, but what now?” Jenner mutters in a single sarcastic breath. “They’re going to expect some action after that.”

  I look up at Ezra. He presses his hand against his eyes as he lets out a heavy sigh.

  “I wish I knew,” he grumbles. Almost reluctantly, he meets my gaze. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted to use your . . . ability . . . to our advantage,” he admits. “But I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if we did. Not when I know what it’ll end up doing to you.”

  “What do you mean?” Rai asks.

  My eyes lock with Ezra’s, holding me to him for many long moments. Neither of us speak, and in many ways, it’s as if the others are no longer here. We’re entirely alone, just the two of us.

  Us and the painful truth.

  His words echo through my head, haunting me with their hidden meaning.

  Of course, I know. In truth, I think I’ve known for a while now. How could I not, especially after that story about his mother? I’ve been through this enough times to recognize the extreme toll this condition is taking on my body. So, it makes sense.