by Kat T. Masen
I’m not fucking stupid. I know Ava has a past. I just didn’t expect it to hit me the way it did when I saw this jerk with her. The burning sensation inside my chest made it difficult to think straight, especially when his gaze lingered too long.
When Ava confirmed they weren’t anything, it only mildly calmed my jealousy. The truth is—there will be other men.
Something I’d been grappling with of late. Ava is carrying my baby, and selfishly—no one else can touch her.
Not if I have any say in it.
These vicious thoughts came and went, which is why I’ve distanced myself of late and kept myself busy with work.
Until tonight, seeing her for the first time in weeks since the news broke to the public of her pregnancy and after her outburst at my apartment over my social life.
Her outburst caught me off guard, but Ava apologized and admitted she was stressed out, taking out her frustration on me. I didn’t blame her, so I let it go.
But tonight, my eyes fell upon her at the restaurant, which only solidified my thoughts. I did my best to keep things platonic, especially in front of Lex and Charlie.
We both sit on her sofa while Ava raises Millie again and the past, making it clear we both have our struggles. There is no easy answer to any of this. The situation is far from ideal, no matter how you spin it.
“I can’t do this walking thing anymore.” Ava switches the topic, which I’m grateful for. The last thing I want to discuss is Millie again.
I let out a soft chuckle. “How about you don’t wear heels. Besides, you’re starting to grow bigger, so it’s not as safe to do so.”
“The joys of having a baby with a doctor.” She cringes as she rubs her feet. “Next, you’ll tell me I can’t eat cheese.”
“Avoid soft-vein blue cheeses,” I lecture her, then motion for her to shuffle. “Give me your feet.”
With a joyous smile on her face, she places them on my lap while I massage them, kneading where she claims it aches.
“Oh, God,” she half-moans, closing her eyes. “That feels so good.”
“A trade-off. I’ll massage, you give birth. Deal?”
Ava opens her eyes with a grin lighting up her face, then smacks my chest with a cushion. “That’s not fair. It’s not like I have a choice. Have you ever seen a woman give birth?”
I nod. “Several times.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“How bad was it?”
“It’s beautiful,” I tell her, rubbing her ankle. “It’s almost like the moment a baby is in a mother’s arms, all the pain goes away, and nothing else in the world matters.”
Ava throws her head back, letting out a huff. “You make it sound so easy. This pregnancy is killing me.”
I glance at her as my pulse picks up. “You never mentioned experiencing pains? Have you had an OBGYN look at you?”
Ava purses her lips, glancing at the wall in a notably avoidable stare. “Um, no, it’s something else.”
“What is it?”
“I’d rather not say.”
“C’mon, Ava. It’s me, plus I’m trained in medicine, so if there’s anything I can do…”
“I’m not comfortable discussing this with you.”
Now, she has me worried, and my brain starts to conjure up all these scenarios. I’m not a specialist in prenatal care, but I know enough to diagnose if something is incorrect.
“Don’t give me that worried look,” she’s quick to accuse me, playing with the ends of her dark brown hair. “It’s not like that.”
“If it’s not a big deal, then just tell me?”
Ava releases a groan, then crosses her arms. “Fine, you asked. I’m horny all the fucking time.”
I bite my lip, wishing I didn’t push so hard. At the same time, my dick stirs in my pants. Fuck, don’t go there. For the love of God, don’t go there.
My throat makes an unflattering raspy sound. “Okay, so I didn’t see that coming.”
“Yes, well, there it is. The truth. Now, if we can go back to talking about anything else, I’d greatly appreciate it.”
Yes, we need to talk about something else, pronto…
“So, your dad mentioning LA?”
“I’m sorry, that caught me off guard.”
“You honestly haven’t thought about it?” I question, grateful my dick has calmed down enough so I can think straight again.
“Our lives are here. It’s a big decision.”
“It is, but it’s not just about us anymore,” I remind her.
“I guess, maybe in a way, it would be easier with my family. But I don’t want it to disrupt your life. You already gave up, Lane.”
Ava has this weird obsession with Lane. Her name comes up regularly, even though I’ve ended things. I don’t understand why Ava can’t understand that and let it go, especially since I have.
“Breaking up with Lane was the right thing to do,” I assure her, not regretting my actions though, at work, it is awkward whenever I am in the same room as Lane now. “It’s not giving up something when it was never right, to begin with.”
Ava curls her lip. Then her shoulders push back with a stare challenging me.
“But how do you know?” Ava persists with her questions. “How do you know she’s not the love of your life?”
“Because if she were, I wouldn’t have done it so easily.”
“But you’ll date again someday, right?”
“It’s not something I think about, Ava.”
“You’re a man.” She points out with a slight eye roll. “A man who has needs.”
Deliberately raising my brows, I cock my head with a smirk. “Believe it or not, I’m rather proficient in taking care of that situation. I have been since I was fifteen, maybe?”
Ava shakes her head with a grin, then throws her hands on her face. “You should go before I maul you.”
My hand continues to rub her leg, inching closer to the edge of her dress. Her skin is soft with an intoxicating vanilla scent, luring me in like an animal in the wild. I bite my lip, begging myself not to succumb, but then I think, who fucking cares? Who has to know besides us?
“Ava, I’m here if you need me. And I mean in any way you need me.”
“Austin,” she breathes, then follows with a hard swallow. “Don’t play with me right now.”
“Well, it’s not like I’d allow anyone else to touch you while you’re pregnant with my baby.”
Her eyes turn wild with fire, the emerald penetrating with its intensity, but then she lowers her gaze. “I mean it, Austin. I’m this close to not caring about anything because you look damn good, and I don’t know if it’s the warm air or the full moon, or because you smell so good…”
I lean over and continue running my hand up her thigh beneath her dress. Ava has always been hot, and yes, it has been hard to ignore on many occasions. But tonight, in the dusty rose silk dress she wears—she looks irresistible.
Her tits have grown so much, making it impossible to look away. Yet my conscience is torn because she is pregnant. I’ve never looked at a pregnant woman and thought, ‘oh, she’s sexy, and I’d like to fuck her’.
It’s completely forbidden territory.
But Ava has blurred the line, allowing my thoughts of exactly what I’d like to do to her, run rampant. My memories of the night we were together are hazy, but I do remember how intense it was because I couldn’t get enough in the moment.
Slowly, she tilts her head back and exposes the veins on her neck. I close my eyes for a brief moment, struggling with my thoughts. But upon opening them, her body is beside me like a temple waiting to be worshipped.
Angling my body across and placing my lips against her skin, I taste the heat spread all over her, then gently inch my hands between her thighs. She lets out a gasp, then grabs my face with her hands and brings my lips to hers.
Ava’s passion is raw and charged, not allowing me a moment to breathe. Our kisses are rushed, only fueling this
sexual tension between us.
Then, before I can say anything, she shuffles to climb on top to straddle me.
Fuck, now there’s no chance I can resist.
“You don’t have to do this,” she repeats, barely above a whisper.
“Ava,” I breathe, watching her lips part. “I haven’t had sex with anyone since you told me you were pregnant.”
Her mouth crashes onto mine, feverish and demanding with every twist and turn. Then, slowly, she pulls away but etches her lips close to my ear. “If I’m honest, that makes me happy. The thought of another woman touching you drives me crazy.”
I pull her back so I can stare into her eyes. But as our gazes fall under a spell, something odd passes between us. This connection runs deeper than two people bringing a baby into this world after a one-night stand.
My hand moves around to the back of her neck, drawing her closer while she pulls the straps of her dress down, exposing her chest. A white lace bra is covering her engorged breasts, although the lace is transparent enough for me to catch a glimpse of her nipples.
Beneath her, my cock is so damn hard to the point it aches. My entire body is drowning in different sensations, all heightened by the beautiful woman on top of me.
Without even asking, I raise my hands to caress her tits, watching her reaction with a delicious stare. My chest is pounding. The desperation to take her is at its peak. The wait is killing me. My patience is growing thin by the sheer desire running through my veins as her back arches while she expels a moan. My lips fall upon the middle of her chest with soft kisses, slowly inching toward the edge of her bra as I tear it out of the way with my teeth.
My hands move toward her back, unclasping her bra until she’s completely topless. Fuck, they’re huge. My urges become challenging to control, worried I will hurt her.
With care, I run my tongue at a slow and agonizing pace, tasting her nipples as she cries my name softly while running her fingers through my hair, demanding more.
“Austin,” she barely manages to breathe. “Will it hurt the baby if we…”
“No,” I tell her faintly. “I’m big, but the baby is nowhere near where I enter.”
She places her hand beneath my chin, guiding my face, so we’re staring intensely into each other’s eyes.
“Then fuck me. Now, please.”
I’m barely able to think as Ava shuffles out of her panties while I remove my pants, allowing my cock to spring free. The moment her eyes lay on my engorged cock, her body flushes, and she’s quick to go back to the way she was positioned. I grab my shaft and slowly guide myself, basking in how incredibly wet she is. I’m careful not to hurt her, easing myself in and relishing in being bareback.
Fuck, I can’t even remember when I’d done this last.
Conscious of my movements, I’m careful not to hurt Ava and allow her to ride me at a comfortable pace.
Ava’s fucking beautiful. The way she arches back with her chest out, to when her eyes open and close as strangled moans escape her. I don’t need to fantasize anymore. She’s living and breathing, consuming me with her entire being.
“I’m close,” she warns me.
My fingers move on their own accord, pinching her erect nipples as she groans for me to go harder. Her confidence is a goddamn turn-on, commanding I do things to her and unapologetic with her demands. I study her body, having never seen something so beautiful.
And that includes her sister.
I bite down hard again, willing to last the distance myself. But it only takes a few seconds for me to feel her contract all over, and I’m unable to hold back any longer, letting myself spill inside her while a groan escapes me.
I’m seeing stars, my eyes blinking rapidly as my vision goes in and out of this blurry haze.
Our breaths come hard and fast, the high slowly coming down as the minutes pass.
“Ava,” I whisper, still keeping myself inside her because I feel a second wind coming on. “I don’t want anyone else touching you.”
“I don’t want anyone else touching you,” she counters, though she closes her eyes with a slight wince.
“Am I hurting you?”
Her body moves slowly, again, causing my dick to remain hard. “God, no, Austin. Fuck me again, please.”
Pulling her mouth onto mine, I taste her lips before demanding she ride me until she comes.
What we’re doing is breaking all the rules.
It’s a recipe for disaster.
But she’s the mother of my child.
And her body is an addiction I have no intent to recover from.
I want to taste Ava Edwards and only her, but this isn’t a game. The stakes are too high. I’ve known Ava my entire adult life. She’s not one to commit and doesn’t believe in falling in love.
Yet, in the throes of passion, we’ve both committed to remaining exclusive with each other.
It’s just sex.
Falling in love is another story altogether.
Seventeen
Ava
I scratched an itch.
And now there’s no turning back.
Austin satisfied me in more ways than I ever imagined possible. It got to the point I came so quickly, embarrassing on my behalf. He didn’t seem to care and followed through just as quickly, probably to take the heat off me.
But just as I thought it was all over, we did it again.
I’m not sure how my body even managed to do that. I’ve been with a few men, but no one has ever made me orgasm twice and within the space of five minutes.
It has to be all the pregnancy hormones swirling inside of me—that’s it.
Nothing more.
I mean, Austin is sexy and incredibly ripped but not overly muscly where he belongs in some body-building contest with an awful tan and shimmery gold thong.
His arms are, let’s say, perfectly veined. When he flexes to grab something, I find myself staring in awe. It’s not like I haven’t seen him in swim shorts before with a bare torso—we’ve spent a lot of time at the beach and in the pool back in the day—but now he is all man.
A man I should not be having these wicked thoughts about.
And I especially need to stop thinking of his cock. It’s just so hard.
As we sit here, out of breath, an awkward silence falls between us. I adjust my dress, pulling my straps up as my bra lies on the floor near the coffee table. When Austin slides his pants back on, I gaze in the opposite direction.
“I should probably go,” he mumbles, unable to look me in the eye. “I have an early start tomorrow.”
“Oh yeah, sure.”
He runs his hands through his hair, making him look even more delicious. Geez, he makes you come twice, and now you want more? I cross my arms beneath my chest, aware I have no bra on, and my nipples are hard again. This is ridiculous, and I’m sure some sexual demon has possessed my body. Usually, after one fuck with a guy, I’m fine for him to leave so I can carry on with my day. Olivier had been the only exception, though sex with him was nothing compared to Austin. Then, I remember Austin was previously intimate with my sister.
Like a splash of cold water, my thoughts dissipate, and I’m brought back to reality.
“So,” he drags, scratching his chin. “I’ll call you soon.”
I nod, averting my gaze to the wall.
The moment the door closes, I fall back onto the sofa and let out a huge breath. What the hell did I just do? I grab my phone to dial Millie’s number only to remember she’s not talking to me.
Throwing my phone on the opposite end of the sofa, I realize my past habit of always running to Millie when I need advice or clarity on a situation involving a guy. Unfortunately, when it comes to men, I second-guess myself, which is why I rely on her to either talk me off the ledge or make me jump ship because red flags are waving in the distance.
For all of my life, she’s been my security blanket. Always by my side, and even though she dared me to do dangerous things when we were kids, sh
e was always there to catch me when I fell.
She is part of who I am, and without her, there’s a void I can’t shake.
Needing her more than ever, I know this ache inside with her gone will never subside. But this isn’t one of those times to run to her, even if I could.
I just screwed her ex-fiancé twice.
It’s just me and my thoughts, all of which are confused by what just happened. In the throes of passion, who the hell was I? Demanding he take me this way, that no one else can touch him. Everything slipped out, and in the heat of the moment, I had no concern for the consequences of my actions.
Then, he echoed my sentiment. No man is to touch me. The fire in his eyes only cemented his demands, but at the time, it turned me on more than anything.
But now the moment is over.
I drag my tired self to my room to shower and change for bed. But, when I eventually climb in, my body isn’t in sync with my mind. I can barely move a limb, but my mind refuses to shut down.
Tonight was a big deal, and I can’t get out of my head how it ended. Austin isn’t a man I can ghost, even though I’m notorious for doing this when something doesn’t go my way. He’s is the father of my baby. No matter what, I’ll have to face him at some point.
I yank my phone off the bedside table, only to put it back moments later. My hands move toward the lampshade, switching it off with the hope that the darkness will put me to sleep.
My eyes are open wide, staring at the pitch-black ceiling with no chance at all of falling asleep.
A long-winded sigh escapes me as I lean over, turn the lamp back on, and grab my phone once again. Just do it, just text him. I must find a way to move on from tonight.
Me: Sorry if that made it weird between us. I shouldn’t have brought up my predicament.
I don’t expect him to respond straight away, but the bubble on the screen taunts me until his text appears.
Austin: Is that what you think happened?
Me: There was a lot of silence afterward.